I dated this single mom, and things were going great.
Now, things have gotten more serious and we were talking about out long term future, and I realized something: She’s never mentioned her kid’s father. I asked if he was around or what kind of person is he.
She responded with “None of your business”
I told her it is my business depending on what kind of person he is. I told her I don’t want to some day find out he is the jealous type and harrases me or something.
She doubled down and told me that’s none of my business.
I’ll be honest, I was frustrated with her and said “You are seriously delusional” and broke things off.
Comments
IMHO, not the AH dude. If you’re planning a future together, it’s total bs to keep you in the dark about something like that. It’s a potential stressor for sure. You dodged a bullet IMO, stay strong. 💪🙌🚀
You’ve already broke things off. Seems like it’s a non issue. Also seems like y’all weren’t on the same page, maybe not even reading the same book as to where the relationship stands.
That’s for her to tell – when and if she decides to.
Seems like she dodged a bullet with how you reacted.
NTA. There are some good reasons to keep it from you, if the child was conceived through assault for instance and she doesn’t want to talk about it, but you can’t be expected to sit in the dark and guess.Â
Have you met the kid?
Dude, NTA. Communication is key, especially when kids are involved. If she’s shutting you out on important stuff now, just imagine what it’d be like down the line. Like, let’s be real here, you dodged a bullet IMO.🤷‍♂️
NTA. If you are talking about getting “more serious and we were talking about out long term future”, it absolutely IS your business. You deserve to know what you’re getting yourself into so you can make informed decisions.
If you’re becoming serious, this is an appropriate question. Her response is not.
I remember not wanting to talk to my new beau about my ex.
I also remember wanting my ex back during that time period. I felt like there was no need to discuss him, if we got back together, new guy would know ex’s business and throw it in his face. Protect the ex! Lol Those were my thoughts decades ago.
How long were you together when this conversation happened?
Or find out he’s a murderer in prison for chopping up one of his ex’s boyfriends…
Calling someone delusional is never okay. Let her find someone who will respect her.
Nta.
It’s almost as if, the baby daddy is a relative.
“my baby daddy put my last 2 BF in the hospital, 1 almost died.” Not saying this is the case but if she is saying it’s none of your business then how could you know this isn’t the case. There can be no future without knowing what you are getting into. It is best to end it before it gets serious. NTA
NTA. If you were actually becoming serious, your question was reasonable. Baby daddy could be dead, in jail, she may not even know who the baby daddy is, or hasn’t bothered to tell baby daddy about her kid. It’s the way she responded (“It’s none of your business.”) that’s a little more of a red flag.
She’s probably still with him
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
NTA. Never date a single mom. Sorry, I said what I said.
NTA. If you’re romantically involved with someone with a child, someone you see a future with, you do deserve to know who their child’s other parent is. You don’t have to be best friends, but you deserve to have at least some sort of relationship with this person
NTA, if moving toward long term relationship, your potential step-child’s father is absolutely part of the family dynamic, and of course you would need to know at least what the situation is. Her response was aggressive toward you; if that was her final word I agree you can’t move forward with long term plans.
i get wanting boundaries, but if you’re planning a future with someone, refusing to even acknowledge the existence of the other parent isn’t sustainable. you didn’t overreact by walking away.
NTA and you probably dodged a massive bullet. Maybe literally.
Seems fair to me 🤷
How long have you been dating this woman?
Well if the baby was conceived by assault, or incest or the baby daddy is in prison or the child isn’t biologically hers or some other tabloid situation she was probably afraid OP would break up with her and she is correct.
YTA for calling her “seriously delusional” because she said it was none of your business.
You admit in comments that you’ve never even met the kid, and you’ve only ever “picked her up” from her house. So you obviously weren’t that close with this woman yet. The fact that she didn’t want to discuss that subject with you does not make her crazy.
You can break up with someone without unnecessary insults.
NTA I get if there’s trauma related to it and she doesn’t want to talk about it, but if so, she should have said “there’s trauma around it and I don’t want to talk about it.” Still, if you intend to be together forever, then accepting that part of her life and knowing these things about her is important for your future as well as the child’s future.
Have you met the kid? If you haven’t even met the kid I don’t think things have “gotten more serious”.
YTA. It’s seriously not any of your business.
For all you know she could be a rape victim.
So you haven’t met her kid, and only been with her for over two months but she’s the delusional one cause she doesn’t want to tell you information about her BD? You wasn’t even with her for that long
Run
NTA- Big red flag đźš© idk what she is hiding but it has to be something significant if she is willing to double down on it enough to make you breakup. Let her go and move on. Good luck.
She’s still banging him.
NTA, you made the right move.
NTA — she probably made a really stupid choice on that dude. And she understands that her “baby daddy” sets her price on the sexual market place. Chances are that you are way better than this dude and as such, out of her league.
So apart from the fact that she is a single mother, this is yet another red flag. Run for the hills man.
NTA for me. I would want to know the background before getting myself involved in a possible mess.