So, recently I went to a company party with my gf. Met her co workers and boss. Her boss seemed a bit weird, but waved that off. During the party I heard a rumor about my gf and her boss.
When we get back to her place, I told her if she knew about this rumor and if she was OK. She got uncomfortable. I asked her what’s wrong. She did confess that the rumor is true, that she was sleeping with her boss for a while to get promoted. She told me she wasn’t proud of it, but doesn’t think much of it
Honestly, knowing this makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. It’s hard to explain why. I mean… ethically, I think it’s wrong to partake in this sort of behavior, which is illegal… definitely on the boss’s side, but idk about her side…
And well… her interacting every single day with this guy.
I took some time to think about it, but I couldn’t shake this feeling. So I broke up with her.
Comments
NTA. You’re allowed to hold your partner to certain ethical standards.
NTA – if that’s a deal-breaker for you, outta there is a good place to be
NTA but this is a form of abuse coming from her boss. This guy needs to have been reported a long time ago, who knows how many other people he’s done this too.
This is the fakest story I’ve read in a while.
NTA, I would feel the same way. I don’t do immoral behavior. No amount of money is worth your dignity and doing things the right way.
NTA Yeah. She still sucks him off now and again. There is no way that doesn’t happen.
Sorry, where it is that you live that sleeping with your boss is illegal?
NTA. If she did it once she’ll do it again. What’s to say the next promotion she wouldn’t? I hate that it happened to you but at least you walked away instead of staying and being worried all the time.
I heard this from another post and I agree with this person comment. It goes, verbatim, “once you get the ‘ick’ about someone. It is hard to get over that feeling about that person.” You don’t need a reason to break up with someone. You have your boundary and your standard (which isn’t too much to ask) and you got the ick from your ex. Simple as that. NTA
I mean I could see this could make someone uncomfortable but for me I would say “baby get that bag” and give her a kiss. This world isn’t even or fair if you want a better life and your on the bottom you gotta climb
She fucked him once to get something. Right place, right drink, right.time, right prize….she would fuck him again. Good call.
Dodged a huge shit storm, my friend. Congratulations! 👏
NTA, it’s awful how she sold her integrity for a promotion… Her boss is scum and she was complicit in enabling his abuse of power. This whole situation reeks of toxic manipulation and I’m relieved OP had the guts to dump her.
This post shows disgust towards exploitative relationships and an underlying sense of anger at being betrayed by someone who professed love while secretly engaging in such unethical behavior.
Your gf slept with someone before you were dating, and now you’re breaking up with her for it.
Breaking up with someone because you don’t like that they slept with a specific person before you is an asshole move.
YTA.
>which is illegal… definitely on the boss’s side, but idk about her side.
There is literally nothing illegal about this. It might be against workplace policy, and a case could be made that there was a power imbalance and your gf could potentially take her boss to civil court over it, but there is literally nothing illegal about a boss and an employee having a sexual affair.
Not only is your gf’s behaviour in no capacity illegal, but whatever workplace policies and civil protections exist regarding this matter exist because your gf would be considered the victim in this scenario. Your gf has less power, her boss used that as leverage for sex.
Sounds like your GF is a real go getter who’s going to be working her way up the corporate pole while you sit mid-level moralizing about “doing it correct”.
Nta. So she will keep doing this for promotions with every job here on out. She has a price.
She was 100% groomed
She had a commodity she was willing to exchange for monetary enhancement. Its been happening for eons. Oldest profession in the book, as they say.
YTA. Her past is her past.
NTA
Someone said if she did it once for a promotion she’d do it again. That is true
NTA. Using sex as a tool in the workplace is deeply wrong. You are violating the rights of other workers to be treated fairly, especially when it comes to a promotion. If the ethical lapse is a hard boundary for you, that is 100% ok.
Updateme
A person who screws someone for compensation is a (I’ll be nice) sex worker. It’s no different than money. If you’re not comfortable dating a sex worker, then break up. She basically told you she didn’t regret it in the present. So this isn’t about, “I made a mistake in judgement in the past.” It tells me that if the prize is big enough she’ll spread her legs again. Couple that with her boss’s reaction to you, tells me they still get together.
You did break up and I applaud your judgement. She’s for the streets albeit more expensive streets.
NTA
Who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again for another promotion in the future while you’re together. You dodged a bullet with that one. She is definitely gonna sleep her way to the top
Chat GPT can do better.
Write a better prompt next time!
YTA for this fake shit.
Just Makes her a prostitute IMO.
If the entire office knows and they are gossiping about it loudly enough for you to have overheard it at a work party, this is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more than what she is making it out to be. And who would be still gossiping about something if it were in the distant past? Loud enough to be overheard? No one. It is either still going on or what they did is massively scandalous (screwing in conference rooms, etc.). Office gossip has a pretty short shelf life as there is always something new.
NTA. I understand the reality is dudes offer that and some women take them up on it, but anyone who makes sex a transactional thing just isn’t for me. In general you can have whatever standards are reasonable for your potential partner and that’s just your preferences.
Women need to learn to keep their closet locked. We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of. Some more extreme than others. People dont need to know everything about you, especially if you’ve changed from the person you once were. People aren’t Jesus, they reserve the right to walk away from you if they dont agree with your sins.
Nta. BUT! You can cut someone some slack for things that happened before you. Are you proud of everything you’ve ever done? Did you walk her mile in her shoes? I’ve done things that I’ve regretted. I’ve talked about some of them with my wife and she says “yeah that must have sucked.”
NTA. Yes, the day to day stuff is weird, but her lack of morals and ethics to do all that in the first place would have me running for the door.
NTA. It’s understandable to feel a bit grossed out here. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, come on, it’s not every day you find out your partner’s been swapping favors with the boss. But hey, at least she was honest, even if a bit late.
NTA, you are allowed to judge your partners past behavior. People act like relationships have to be about blindly accepting your partner, warts and all, but this is nonsense. There is nothing wrong with having a moral or ethical standard for your partner, ie. No cheating, no stealing, no violence, etc.
She’s still with her boss. Whenever he wants.. 403
Unfortunately some people have no problem with being unethical. Really she doesn’t seem to have remorse. Also with him every day did they really stop doing the humpty hump?
She’s a go getter why would you hate that
NTA.
You are allowed to end the relationship for any reason whatsoever. It doesn’t even have to be a good reason.
This…..is a good reason.
She pretty much just admitted to you that she will gladly submit to her boss….even in a biblical sense….. before she submits to a husband or boyfriend.
What happens when ANOTHER promotion opportunity arises for her? Will she sleep with her boss AGAIN? What if she does get promoted again? Did she sleep with her boss to get it? Even if she changes jobs and she gets advancement opportunities at her new job. Did she have to gibe it up to her boss to get it? You will never be able to trust her.
You are not required to extend grace to her simply because it happened prior to you.
Ladies: Your past matters!!!!!
Good call. If she did it once…
It’s ethically terrible behavior and is the caricature of what we tell our daughters never to do.
I personally look at banging your boss for a promotion, raise, etc.., as not much different as prostitution. It is a business transaction for money and personal gain. I would have left as well while stating how I viewed her actions
NTA you’re always allowed to breakup if you’re uncomfortable with your girls ethical standards (atleast what she had in the past). Especially because she still works with her boss and lied (by omission) this fact to you. This is because she was still working closely with her boss yet also dating you and she never mentioned this, obviously hoping you wouldnt find out. Personally thatd break my trust if I were you.
She’s also an adult so she partook in illegal activities, in which both the boss and her are at fault/liable imo
Good call
There’s a lot there, my dude. First and foremost, you need no reason to break up with somebody–if the relationship isn’t making you happy, bail.
If you’re looking for insight, maybe it’s that…I’m assuming sex is part of your relationship, and the knowledge that she leveraged that for career advancement makes the idea of doing it with her for love difficult. Like, that she’s already used sex for profit, essentially, might make you worry that, when you have sex, it’s not just for shared satisfaction.
My two cents, could be way off base. Sorry that happened.
Reading this I am so embarrassed for her. The office knows, her colleagues and boss knows- she lacks integrity, character and will sleep her way to the top. This will follow her everywhere. No one respects her. So humiliating. I would get the ick too.
NTA
NTAH! Signs of her character and if it is uncomfortable for you move on.
Totally agree with what you did. Her character is flawed. What’s to stop her from doing it more, for her own gain. She’s kind of a crap human. You saved yourself
NTA. No judgment because adult people do adult stuff, but the implications of their actions could have directly affected you. That shit may come back to bite her and the boss. It was really in your best interest to not be around for that impending shitshow. It’s not the sex in of itself imo, it’s their failure to be discrete about it. If you’re going to do something this risky, both parties need to be on one accord about keeping shit secret. No one should know that happened, so one of them ran their mouth. There were several reasons to end it and that’s before we get to the sex which is a non factor. The short sightedness of it all alone is enough. I honestly don’t think I could trust someone who would do that, I would rather get a new job and start over than put myself in that position so I definitely wouldn’t want a partner who put themselves in that position. If she’d told you this happened and it wasn’t known by everyone, maybe you could work through it, but the fact that everyone knows means that something is likely going to come of it and that would put you in a precarious position.
Good for you. She literally prostituted herself for a promotion. I usually cringe when I see people post comments like “she’s for the streets”, but it couldn’t be more accurate in her case.
And the kicker – “she also doesn’t think much about it” – yeah, that’s not a girlfriend material. I’m not going to suggest you toss her out, no. That’s littering. What you do is you check your local recycling policy, carefully place her in the appropriate bin and wheel her out for the morning trash pickup.
Respect for yourself and staying with your morals
Hookers have sex for money or more money don’t they? NTA for not wanting to date a hooker.
Nta. You’re allowed your own boundaries and to desire a morally ethical partner.
I can see it as at least it was before you. But if she did it once, who is to say she won’t do it again? And I honestly think she is still doing those favors. Otherwise he would demote or fire and replace with some one willing to keep providing those favors.
I’d like to think that I would as a man, given the opportunity. And would hope my partner knew that it was only when I was single. But would understand if it made them uncomfortable enough to break up. Just trying to reverse roles to see if it’s any better. Not really lol.
I literally have less respect for people who do this than actual prostitutes who sleep with people for cash
I personally wouldn’t date anyone who has had sex with a coworker and they both currently still works there
It’s just not something I would put up with