Backstory: me and my gf were together for a year, everything was fine. but then she told me one day that she liked to behave like a child ONLY during sex. she went into detail and said she wanted to wear ‘childish underwear’, make her voice squeaky during her moans and to call me ‘daddy’ etc.
we sat and spoke for a few hours about this, i told her i didn’t like the idea of it and i wouldn’t be involved in it. she got offended and started calling me names, which resulted into an argument. she left, came back an hour later and asked why we couldn’t compromise on it.
i took into account that she’s had a traumatic childhood which could play into the reason she likes age play, but again it feels wrong for me to go along with, i’m not into that stuff.
the entire year we were together, our sex was normal. i asked her how long she liked age play and she said before we got together and the reason she didn’t tell me was because she expected me to not like it, which she was right.
i don’t hate her, we’ve ended on good terms but AITAH??
Comments
googles age play
Oh fuck that. NTA
no? she wants something that makes you uncomfortable
you’re incompatible if neither of you will budge on the issue
so obviously NTA; breaking up was the correct move
“Age play” (WTF that means) is better than the alternative, the alternative being pedophilia.
If something makes you uncomfortable or feels wrong to you, you don’t have to participate, no matter her reasons. She’s entitled to her kink, you’re entitled to say no, and breaking up was the healthiest option if you’re not compatible
She’ll find someone into her kink eventually, though i lowkey judge that person. NTA.
NTA lmao this would be a major concern for me too. It’s ok to not be ok with dating someone who has such an uncomfortable kink. Not compatible
Kinks have to be consensual both ways, if you’re not into it, forcing yourself would only build resentment. Nta
NTA whenever a woman would even call me daddy in bed I’d tell them to stop. It was always weird to me unless they were Latina and said papi of course.
Age play outside of sex can be helpful for processing trauma but during sex is, for me, a no no. Just nooooo. NTA
You did the right thing sticking to your boundaries doesn’t make you an asshole.
NTA, you guys aren’t compatible and will not have a healthy relationship if y’all stay together.
NTA, kinks, and anything with sex require absolutely enthusiastic consent. Add to that the insults and argument which proceeded your saying no, and that’s a serious problem.
Coming from a practitioner of BDSM stuff, you need enthusiastic consent from all parties. She needs to remember this for her future relationships, because not everyone would be okay being a Daddy for DDLG. She also needs to be okay being told “no” if a partner doesn’t want to participate in that kind of activity.
Nta. Kinks has to be okay for both parties. Yall are not compatible.
NTA, no-one should do anything sexually that they don’t want to do. You two will probably have to part ways if this is a dealbreaker.
NAH You don’t have to like it or be comfortable with it. She isn’t an ah for telling you her fantasy.
NTA
There`s no compromise when it comes to what you are confortable with during sex. What`s not an enthusiastic yes is a no and that`s ok.
NTA
There is something fundamentally wrong with your ex girlfriend. Not all kinks should be heard
NTAH you did the right thing my man 😁
i like to be called daddy but that is taking it a bit far. i would bow out of that too OP. she should have told you earlier in the relationship so you guys didn’t waste a year of your lives.
NTA. you aren’t into age play. If that’s what she needs in her life, then you aren’t the guy for her. some Pedo-wanna be is.
NTA
I mean she was acting childish throwing insults at you. Glad you got out
NTA. Age play is a legitimate kink and it’s perfectly okay for her to like it. It’s just as much okay for you to not like it and not want to do it. Her trying to push you into it is not okay.
NTA. Just tell her no and to go to her room and that she can come out when she is done having a tantrum.
NTA I get it’s just a kink but it’s still a really weird kink and I totally get why you would be uncomfortable with it, it’s creepy and even the best of kinks are not for everyone
NTA, that’s gross. Idc if it’s “kink shaming”.
Using age regression outside of sex to deal with trauma is one thing.
Acting like a literal child during sex is not kink, it is pedophilia and disgusting. It is sexualizing children .
NTA not your thing
NTA but you didn’t end it because she’s into age play. You ended it because you have a hard no and she refused to accept that.
NTA I couldn’t get behind this either. I get the daddy/ mommy kink where one person is acting MORE mature but this feels like the reverse where your having someone act LESS mature to the point of being a child which feels very gross to me. I get that some people use it to process but that’s something I’d be getting a counsellor involved with and not asking my sexual partner to take that on at the expense of their own comfort and feeling of safety during sex.
NTA – consent has to be mutual. Otherwise it’s coercion into an act that you don’t like. TBH – if you’re a bloke I don’t think you even have the option of ‘pretending’ its ok, as it will be real obviously a literal boner killer.
Sexual compatibility is an important component in a relationship. If your not compatible in that way, it’s no ones fault, just not the right fit for each other.
If you have a mismatch anywhere in the relationship that isn’t something either of can comprise or ignore is suitable grounds for breaking up.
NTA. Age play enjoyers need to go to therapy to understand why they want to act like children during sex. Not all kinks are supposed to be practiced.
You’d be an AH if it was something you knew and refused to do because you called her mean things, but you’re also allowed to have opinions. especially during sex. I like being treated and cared for OUTSIDE of sex, but ageplay is a predatory opening for pedophiles to express their desires on adults. So no, you’re NTA. If she was more open prior, maybe it’d of been easier for her to find someone to suit her needs.
Sounds like she needs some therapy. NTA, you shouldn’t have to do something that makes you uncomfortable, even if she’s into it. It’s 2 enthusiastic yeses or it doesn’t happen.
this story exactly as told is a legitimate pre existing fear of mine…
not sure I’d handle it well, but I definitely wouldn’t be concerned whether I’m the asshole or not
Not TAH, it’s wise to separate yourself from trauma based fetishes. It’s different when a life partner chooses to address it before simply accepting on face value. It could be healthy if it was mutual & healthy . She will have to either address her own story or she will spend a lifetime in hurtful relationships. You are gonna be a good partner to the right partner for you . Good luck ✌🏼
Not being sexually compatible is one of the most valid reasons to end a relationship. NTA
NTA if you don’t wanna date her then thats your choice, i will say however i think i GF needs help. Thats a pretty weird kink