Today while I was at work my husband dropped our 1 yr old son off with his sister to babysit. While she was watching him she asked if she could cut his hair and I said no. We had previously asked to meet up with her so she could cut his hair but I had made it very clear I wanted to be there as this is his first haircut. Well when it came time to pick him up we found out that she went ahead and cut it anyway after I explicitly told her no. I was obviously very upset and told my husband his sister was very disrespectful and crossed a line. Now my husband is saying I’m dramatic and it isn’t a big deal so I need to calm down.
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Today while I was at work my husband dropped our 1 yr old son off with his sister to babysit. While she was watching him she asked if she could cut his hair and I said no. We had previously asked to meet up with her so she could cut his hair but I had made it very clear I wanted to be there as this is his first haircut. Well when it came time to pick him up we found out that she went ahead and cut it anyway after I explicitly told her no. I was obviously very upset and told my husband his sister was very disrespectful and crossed a line. Now my husband is saying I’m dramatic and it isn’t a big deal so I need to calm down.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my sister in law disrespectful for cutting my son’s hair even though we previously asked for her to cut it with me present.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. I mean, who cuts someone else’s kid’s hair without permission? But you have a bigger husband problem than SIL problem.
NTA. What she did was incredibly disrespectful. Your husband should have had your back 100%.
Are you sure your husband didn’t tell her yes?
His response is a 🚩 baby’s first anything is a big deal for most parents. NTA
Wonder what else the sil is doing behind your back. NTA but find another sitter. She has proven your opinion on your own child means nothing to her.
She assaulted your kid.
Hear me out on this. Your child isn’t able to give concent. She asked, you explicitly said no, she did it anyway.
Now if you were to pick up a pair of scissors, asked if you could cut her hair (even though she told you no), and you cut it nonetheless, you’d be found guilty of assault.
So why does she get a pass for assaulting your child?
NTA.
Ok, a bit rude but seriously….. your child is 1 and hasn’t had a hair cut yet?? He was obviously in dire need of one. Should she have waited for you, yes, but it’s done now. Don’t get her to babysit anymore…. Easy
I’m wondering if your husband gave her permission. It’s weird thay he’s not upset. NTA
Your husband taking his sister’s side over yours is a big problem. Don’t let her babysit again. If your husband insists that she does, you know where you stand. Your baby is only a year old. What other rules for your child will she break as he grows? You need to have a conversation with your husband about how to agree to raise your son.
NTA. You don’t cut someone else’s kid’s hair without permission.
My friend’s MIL babysits full time for her. She’s a retired hairdresser and still does it on the side. She’s great at it. Friend won’t let her touch her 5 year old’s hair still. Do I personally think she needs a haircut? Yes. Is the MIL dying to fix it up? Yes. Will touch her granddaughter’s hair? No way, because she respects her mom.
NTA – for reasons previously stated.
Though am curious as I don’t have kids – how long was the chair at this point?
It’s a huge deal.
She didn’t make a mistake and cut it without running it by you.
You said no.
It’s going to be difficult to enforce rules though – your husband isn’t on the same page.
NTA. What is with people who don’t understand simple English (and no is pretty universal!) and the “keep the peace” relatives who dismiss your feelings when someone disrespects you?
Your husband sucks big ass donkey balls
You have a sil problem because you have a bigger husband problem. She only felt emboldened enough to go against your wishes because she knew how your husband would react or she asked him and he gave the go ahead
I am pleased to join in with the inevitable mountain of NTA votes. You set a CRYSTAL CLEAR, simple boundary, and she shit all over it. She can’t be trusted with the little stuff, so it’s clear she can’t be trusted for the big stuff. She’s gonna do what she wants, whether you want it or not!
NTA My MIL did that with my son. She didn’t even ask. He liked his longer hair and she buzzed it. I was so mad. Of course, it wasn’t his first haircut, but he didn’t want a buzz cut and she did it anyway.
Oh no!!! I’m so sorry you missed your baby’s first haircut.😢 That’s irreplaceable. She had no right to take that from you.
I am very curious about what SIL said to you after she cut his hair…
She is obviously not a trustworthy person…
Your husband…wow…not sure I can give my opinion of him.
If she were a foster parent, and she didn’t get permission, this would be considered abuse.
NTA. Tell your husband it’s not about the haircut. She disregarded your wishes about your child. You said NO! She disrespected that.
NTA. It’s definitely a big deal you’re not being dramatic. It was his first hair cut and you missed it. Even if it wasn’t his first cut you told her don’t do and she did anyway. Who does that?! Id never trust her with my child again just based on that.
NTA, my buddy and his wife made a day for their 1yo at Disney to get a haircut. It seems special (I dont have children yet but I assume)
However id be cautious listening to these basement dweller reddit comments about your husband and sil. You obviously need to set your boundaries and let your frustrations be known and that youre not over reacting, but these people will call for divorce, or cutting people off, and its just insane at this point.
I don’t have children, but from what I’ve seen through the years? First haircuts are a big deal. She definitely crossed over a line that she shouldn’t have. NTA.
Baby’s first haircut is so special! She robbed you of this memory. Chances are, she had already cut it when you asked, but I don’t know what she was thinking. I don’t think I’d have her babysit again. I mean, what else is she apt to do without permission?
Info: why arent you pressing charges for her assaulting your child?
NTA. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but once yiu marry, that is family, yiur priority. Wife and kids. Unless they do something nuclear. I see posts where OP struggles woth that notion. Again, NTA. He should have yiur back.
NTA. That’s a huge milestone to have missed. I’m sorry😢
Tell him she will not be babysitting again til she learns respect and she’s lucky it wasn’t my kid I would be cutting hers
So what was the conversation when you picked up your son?
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