This happened when I (20F) was 17 and my cousin (30F) was 27. It all started from my brother’s engagement party, so for some context we have a ritual where someone close from both the bride and groom’s side handovers the ring for exchange, me and my brother are really close and my family made it very clear that I’ll be doing that but that day my cousin took the ring and slipped beside my brother to go forward and be in the pictures. This is where I might be a lil bit of an AH, I saw this and literally ran and took the ring from her hand after which she was gloomy and sad the whole ceremony and when I tried to talk with her she was a bit rude and didn’t talk with me for around 6 months. Then I went to talk with her and she gave me the reason that you were too indulged with your family to take care of me cause I was saying my dad to quote “We should take some family pictures together with just me, my parents, my sil and my siblings” and she didn’t like that as according to her I didn’t include her in the picture.
Then comes the wedding, we all were taking pictures and everyone was asking for her as she was nowhere to be found, but we wanted to take pictures of all of our cousins together so i kept calling her which she never answered so when my brother asked where is she? I replied simply saying she isn’t picking up to which her mom blew up on me saying “Why would she even bother to pick up when nobody her is giving her attention” umm maybe cause it’s not her wedding? She came back when all the pictures were taken and we moved forward to another ritual, the first thing she does is blame my brother and me for not waiting for her and taking pictures without her. After everyone calmed her down she started throwing another tantrum saying her phone broke because of us calling us as she was rushing. Mind you she was in the wedding venue, all dressed up the only reason she was late because she was taking pictures of her own. I was baffled. I called her out after the wedding was over, and to this day she still reminds me of this event and calls me an AH for my behaviour towards her. So was I the AH in all of this?
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This happened when I (20F) was 17 and my cousin (30F) was 27. It all started from my brother’s engagement party, so for some context we have a ritual where someone close from both the bride and groom’s side handovers the ring for exchange, me and my brother are really close and my family made it very clear that I’ll be doing that but that day my cousin took the ring and slipped beside my brother to go forward and be in the pictures. This is where I might be a lil bit of an AH, I saw this and literally ran and took the ring from her hand after which she was gloomy and sad the whole ceremony and when I tried to talk with her she was a bit rude and didn’t talk with me for around 6 months. Then I went to talk with her and she gave me the reason that you were too indulged with your family to take care of me cause I was saying my dad to quote “We should take some family pictures together with just me, my parents, my sil and my siblings” and she didn’t like that as according to her I didn’t include her in the picture.
Then comes the wedding, we all were taking pictures and everyone was asking for her as she was in nowhere to be found, but we wanted to take pictures of all of our cousins together so i kept calling her which she never answered so when my brother where is she I replied simply saying she isn’t picking up to which her mom blew up on me saying “Why would she even bother to pick up when nobody her is giving her attention” umm maybe cause it’s not her wedding? She came back when all the pictures and we moved forward to another ritual, the first thing she does is blame my brother and me for not waiting for her and taking pictures without her. After everyone calmed her down she started throwing her tantrum saying her phone broke because of us calling us as she was rushing. Mind you she was in the wedding venue, all dressed up the only reason she was late because she was taking pictures of her own. I was baffled. I called her out after the wedding was over, and to this day she still reminds me of this event and calls me an AH for my behaviour towards her. So was I the AH in all of this?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I called out my cousin for her behaviour in my brothers wedding
2. I might have been rude to her as she always claims so
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, as Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter famously said “My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” Your cousin wasn’t getting enough attention so she created some anyway.
If I’m understanding correctly, she was upset because her attempts to be the center of attention failed? NTA
NTA. She started the whole problem by taking the ring and inserting herself where she wasn’t supposed to be. This forced you to either let it go, or make the correction, which fortunately you did. And then she tantrummed her way through the rest of it.
Some aggressive people rely on the “good manners” of others, to enable them to get away with things. Fortunately you stopped her from getting away with it! And apparently she’ll never forgive you. Oh well.
Yta for listening to her criticize you. Walk away. Stop listening to her whine. Of shut up and sit there and take it. Your choice.
NTA! This is insane! Your cousin is a full blown entitled princess. And, with her mom’s behavior, you know exactly how she got that way!
You’re NTA. Your cousin was 27 and behaving like a 3 year old who jealous the new baby was getting the attention.
>her mom blew up on me saying “Why would she even bother to pick up when nobody her is giving her attention”
I think we uncovered the source of the problem.