Today my brother was being a brat, annoying everyone around him and generally not listening to anything anyone had to say. So naturally, him and my mom had a fight and he started yelling and screaming, flipping out and throwing tantrums in the car because he got grounded. Of course, this isn’t good behavior on his part and I acknowledge that, so I just stayed out of it while they yelled and argued.
But, there came to a point where I decided I needed to say something about the things my mother was saying to him. My brother was crying since my mom decided not to get him anything to eat for dinner since he was behaving poorly, then he said something along the lines of: “I guess I should just starve and die.” That felt a little overdramatic to me since obviously not getting take out for the night over him misbehaving wasn’t going to starve him. But then my mother says in response, “I guess that would be better then.”
That just made me so upset considering the things she’s said to me as a kid that were along those lines, telling me to “fuck off and die”, telling me she’d hated me and that I was a terrible kid who she’d wished would just “run off into the woods and not come back”. So I told her, “That’s a horrible thing to say to your kid.”
Then immediately all hell came loose and her “children ganged up on her”, treating her so terribly and being such “disappointments.” I hadn’t spoken the entire car ride until that moment when she said that. My brother had been acting out all day and this was no different, but that was an unnecessary and cruel thing to say to a child in my opinion.
But now I’m getting scolded by my dad because he says I should’ve just stayed out of it when he knows that the things she says are harmful. It’s like he can’t help but make excuses for her. “She was just being sarcastic.” Or, “If your brother wants to act so horribly, he should get a horrible response.”
I just think I would’ve felt guilty if I never said anything. That feels like such a horrible thing to say to a child regardless of how terrible they behave. Considering the things she’s told me, I guess it just struck a chord. But am I in the wrong here?
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Today my brother was being a brat, annoying everyone around him and generally not listening to anything anyone had to say. So naturally, him and my mom had a fight and he started yelling and screaming, flipping out and throwing tantrums in the car because he got grounded. Of course, this isn’t good behavior on his part and I acknowledge that, so I just stayed out of it while they yelled and argued.
But, there came to a point where I decided I needed to say something about the things my mother was saying to him. My brother was crying since my mom decided not to get him anything to eat for dinner since he was behaving poorly, then he said something along the lines of: “I guess I should just starve and die.” That felt a little overdramatic to me since obviously not getting take out for the night over him misbehaving wasn’t going to starve him. But then my mother says in response, “I guess that would be better then.”
That just made me so upset considering the things she’s said to me as a kid that were along those lines, telling me to “fuck off and die”, telling me she’d hated me and that I was a terrible kid who she’d wished would just “run off into the woods and not come back”. So I told her, “That’s a horrible thing to say to your kid.”
Then immediately all hell came loose and her “children ganged up on her”, treating her so terribly and being such “disappointments.” I hadn’t spoken the entire car ride until that moment when she said that. My brother had been acting out all day and this was no different, but that was an unnecessary and cruel thing to say to a child in my opinion.
But now I’m getting scolded by my dad because he says I should’ve just stayed out of it when he knows that the things she says are harmful. It’s like he can’t help but make excuses for her. “She was just being sarcastic.” Or, “If your brother wants to act so horribly, he should get a horrible response.”
I just think I would’ve felt guilty if I never said anything. That feels like such a horrible thing to say to a child regardless of how terrible they behave. Considering the things she’s told me, I guess it just struck a chord. But am I in the wrong here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my mother that something she said was a horrible thing to say and I am not sure whether it is warranted or not. I am not sure whether I am the asshole or not since I don’t know if it was reasonable or not.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Call it how it is. NTAH
she sounds so mean
Crazy how you’re excusing your Brother’s poor disrespectful behavior though.