It was meant to be our second date today, we planned to go to the beach together and he said he’d come pick me up at 2pm. I’m ready and everything and he messages me at 3pm saying he didn’t hear his alarm and he just woke up because last night he went out with friends. Then at half 3 he asks me if he should come pick me up now. I ended up replying an hour later “i’m at the beach with my dad, i’ll see you tomorrow” (because we were gonna hang out with friends tomorrow) and he just never messaged me back. Did i exaggerate cancelling the entire day with him because of that? idk i feel kinda bad but it annoyed me
AITAH for cancelling a date because he was 1 hour late?
r/AITAH
Comments
He disrespected your time dude, why would that put you in the wrong
If you were at the beach with your dad, you couldn’t politely ditch your dad- “Sorry dad, the guy I actually wanted to hang with just contacted me!”. If you made it up, that’s on you. Wait a day or two and see if he gets back to you. Or if you actually do want to go out with him, you call him and then find out if he is upset.
If he cannot prioritize you on only the second date, he’s not the one.
It was rude to leave your hanging like that.
NTA, this early in a relationship any reason to cancel a date is a valid reason. You’re not friends, you’re not partners. You are trying to put your best foot forwards in what is basically a lightning elimination round of a relationship.
Don’t be a dick about it and you’re not the asshole. If you are planning on hanging out with this dude more and did this just to be petty and passive aggressive, then I’m sure you know how that would change the situation.
NTA. Bad move for date 2.
NTA
He wasn’t just late, he was over an hour before he even called you, because he was hung over. This isn’t a good look for date #2.
He didn’t hear his alarm at 2 in the afternoon? You dodged a bullet.
Nope. NTA. If someone is running that late because they didn’t prioritize their day, you have every right to go about with your day as you please.
Nope. NTA. If someone is running that late because they didn’t prioritize their day, you have every right to go about with your day as you please.
NTA. It is about boundaries. You don’t have to stick around, waiting for him to show up.
NTA, like, at all, he wasn’t just an hour late, he litterally didn’t bother to call you to pick you up until one hour and a half later, he made you lose your time, and then he gives you the silent treatment when you keep going with your day? Did he seriously expect you to wait for him at his feet after he made you lose almost two hours of your life because he couldn’t bother to be considerated with his date? Girl, you dodged a bullet.
INFO: What sort of future do you see with a guy that gets so utterly obliterated on a Wednesday night that he’s incapacitated until 3pm on a Thursday?
YTA to yourself, raise your standards.
NTA
Don’t give this or him another second of your time.
NTA. Completely disrespectful of your time and if he can’t hear an alarm at 2pm….yikes.
NTA. He was over an hour late.
NTA I would definitely have done the same thing.
NTA. Waiting an hour because someone slept in after going out isn’t exactly respectful of your time
NTA. This is a big red flag. You are better off without him.
NTA i wanna know how this unfolds updateme
Nah. I was stood up and left after 40 minutes. He texted me later saying he got too high.
You dodged a bullet.
NTA
But OP, he wasn’t 1 hour late. He never showed up! He realised 1 hour after he was supposed to be there that he had made a commitment with you. Then wrote back another 30 minutes later asking you if you still wanted to go on a date with him… He would have been over 2 hours late if you had been on a date with him.
The fact he expected you to wait around all day for him to maybe show up speaks volume IMO.
You dodge a bullet.
NTA. An hour and a half is way too late and is definitely cause for cancellation.
NTA but why are you still going to hangout with him?
Not at all. You were still down to kick it the next day too. He messed up timing, so he has no grounds to stand on when things change. You didn’t get pissy or ghost him for it, so no nta
You did the right thing. I’d bail on tmrw too
Not at all. If you didn’t even respond after that, that just shows he doesn’t really care.
NTA
If he can’t respect your time, he’s not worth it.
NTA. If the date was important to him, he would have set an alarm.
NTA. He blew you off and was more than an hour late when he called to tell you he overslept, and then waited another half hour to ask you if he should come pick you up.
When he woke up, he should have CALLED you and been like “I’m so sorry, I messed up, I need 20 minutes to get out the door and will be there ASAP.” None of this back and forth waiting for texts. Show some urgency and effort to apologize and repair.
NTA. You dodged a bullet. If he can’t be on time this early in the relationship when it’s supposed to be new and fresh, imagine how bad it would be later on when you have invested time end emotions into it.
Not an asshole, maybe overreacting a bit. People miss their alarms, it happens. If he does it often then it could be a problem.
If it wasn’t important enough to him to be up in time for a schedule date and he didnt seem to mind waisting your time and expecting you to still be sitting their waiting for him. I wouldn’t even worry about it 2nd date in … nah. Move on to someone who is more respectable of your time
NTA. Don’t bother with another date with that guy.
NTA.
I waited for a date. He was half hour late. I got in pjs. He arrived and I said nope. 45 minutes late without a heads up? Bye
NTA but have some respect for yourself. Why would you even keep talking to him at this point?
NTA. It’s your second date and dude can’t get up for an alarm until 3 PM?!?!
NEXT!
NTA. Don’t even give him a chance, he’s so unserious.
NTA he’s yikes on bikes
You had plans also for the following day and he just ghosted you? If he does contact you again I’d run
You didn’t cancel the date. He canceled it by not being up and there.
And worse, he texts you at like 3 o’clock saying “I’m so sorry I overslept my alarm and I just woke up.” Then he texts you 30 minutes later saying basically “do you still wanna do this”. Why didn’t he ask you that question in the first text message. Clearly still having the date was an afterthought
NTA of course you shouldn’t be waiting
People miss their alarms, it happens, people make mistakes, it happens. I would be irate if I got stood up BUT, I would be way more mad at the thirty minutes between 3 and half 3.
If he said at 3, “Is it too late to salvage the date? Can we reschedule? If you give me 30 minutes, I can race over,” I might have given him a second chance but to wait 30 minutes AND THEN SAY “should I still come get you?”
Ummmm no thank you.
If he can’t get up before 2pm, I’m going to guess there is some sort of substance use issue. Going out is fine, when it leads to affecting your life, or others around you, that’s addiction territory.
If you were important, I’m sure he would have at least called and rescheduled.
Nta, he was rude and inconsiderate
If a grown ass man can’t get up by noon…he’s not only not mature enough to be dating, he’s a lightweight that can’t hold his alcohol
Hard Pass
NTAH
NTA
Not a match. Move on.
NTA who oversleeps at 3:00pm? Party boy has some growing up to do. This will be your life if continue dating him.
NTA
Glad you got to enjoy the beach with your Dad.
The other dude is a child. Keep scrolling…
NTA. You weren’t rude. You accepted that he didn’t show up and moved on with your day. In your response to him, you left it open for you all to hang out the next day. Which means you were giving him a second chance.
It’s his choice now and it’ll show who he is. Either he genuinely had an oops moment (they do happen) or he wants some chick who can’t/won’t do anything without him, but is still willing to beg and accept whatever he offers.
NTA at best, he would have been 2 hours late picking you up. You didn’t cancel, he didn’t show up when he was supposed to, so you just went about your day without him. Frankly he’s lucky you said you’d see him tomorrow. If he doesn’t answer back, consider it a good thing and move on.
NTA. You did the right thing. Being too hung over from going out isn’t a reason to be that late.
You’re not a priority and he’s showing you that now.
Believe him.
You didn’t cancel the date, he never showed up. You went about your day and did the thing you’d plan to do.
Yes, life happens, but the series of events to me paints the picture of someone who just can’t handle their adulting. Who gets so trashed on a weeknight that they can’t get up and make a commitment that they made at 2 PM? and when he does wake up at 3 PM and realizes it, he contacts you without a real clear plan. And then a whole Nother half hour later before he sees clarification on what’s happening moving forward.
The fact this was your second date clearly shows that dating, or you, are way less important than his substance use.
You seem to handle it really chill by going on about your day, and then saying hey we’ll meet up for tomorrow’s plans. And then he ghosts you.
This guy is showing you who he is, it certainly ain’t gonna get a any better from here.
NTA do no accept this type of behavior. To do so sets a precedent where you would be expected to accept this in the future. He doesn’t respect your time. That is a huge red flag.
NTA, if he can’t respect your time ON A SECOND DATE how do you think that is going to set the tone for a relationship. When dating you are supposed to be putting in effort. I understand things happen like missed alarms, but you’re allowed to be annoyed, cancel, and try again.
NTA.
He knew he had a date and did not prioritize you. The fact he was out at ungodly hours the night before says he isn’t mature enough.
15 minutes late because of traffic, no worries, stuff happens.. an HOUR late because he slept in until TWO IN THE AFTERNOON? No thank you, unacceptable.
People are usually on their best behavior early in a dating relationship. If this is the best he’s got, then you have your answer. NTA. Sorry you may run into him at that party. Just be cool and aloof towards him if he arrives, which I bet he won’t!
NTA. He was hung over and was sn hour past when he was supposed to pick you ipbefore he even called. I wouldn’t give him another chance
He had no intention of showing up.
NTA
People are typically on their best behavior for the first several dates. If this behavior is his “best”, you dodged a bullet.
NTA.
He’s a f*ck boi and will absolutely pull shenanigans like this again in the future. He deems his time more valuable than your’s. Full stop. Time is too precious to allow others to waste it.
NTA. If OP basically has an on-time personality she’s not going to get along with a promptness is for nerds personality. It’s an incompatibility.
The guy should try to date someone from Spain. I hear they’re two hours late for everything.
You should not feel bad. Any guy who has one iota of respect and is into you will be excited to see you and knows how to wake up to an alarm.
This guy is a dud and you shouldn’t date him. NTA
The fact that he didn’t even message back or apologise properly is telling. He is not into you.
Nah he didn’t respect your time. If he was going to be late he should have at least let you know beforehand. I wouldn’t give him a second chance tbh.
NTA He was either testing you or he’s a total flake. Either way, he doesn’t look good as boyfriend material.
If this is how it is on your second date, dont expect much more in the future. NTA.
NTA
Not a good start. Second date and he is already casually excusing behavior that disrespects your time and the space you have held in your schedule for plans with him. Don’t wait for it to become a habit.
I don’t know how old you are, and it doesn’t sound like he works graveyard shift, but I think the problem begins with you going on a date with a dude who wakes up at 2:00PM after a night of partying. That says a lot more than what you’re giving it credit for. Not the asshole, but you’re kinda being an asshole to yourself by seeing someone as immature as him.
You’re the asshole. ONLY because you need to communicate…. Tell him you were annoyed by that, tell him he made you feel like your time wasn’t a priority etc. it’s happened….. now you can either talk and clarify, or simply move on. You guys weren’t exclusive at all and simply have different expectations and ALL are valid.
The date was cancelled by his being a non show – glad you went with your dad.
Did he stalk her???