I am 22F and my boyfriend Mark is 36M. We have been together almost a year and from day one my parents made it clear they thought our age difference was wrong. They said I was too young to decide for myself and that he must have ulterior motives. I always defended him because he has been nothing but kind and respectful.
Two months ago I invited them both to dinner at their house so they could see exactly who he is. Mark brought flowers for my mother and was on his best behavior the whole evening. At first there was polite conversation about work and mutual friends.
Then things went downhill. My father started asking him personal questions about previous relationships and accusing him of playing games. My mother joined in and laughed at every answer. When Mark mentioned that he saw a future with me, my mother said I was naive for trusting a man my senior. At that exact moment my father stood up and declared he was a predator taking advantage of a young woman. He told Mark to leave and never come back.
Mark left shaken. I followed him outside to apologize and to tell him I loved him. He said he understood that they were worried but also that he felt terrible about how they treated him. I went back inside and demanded that my parents apologize to both of us. They refused and said they were only protecting their daughter.
I spent that night at a friend’s house and since then I have refused to see or speak to my parents until they admit they were out of line. My aunt and grandmother have been calling nonstop, insisting I go back and forgive them. Some friends think I overreacted but others say I have every right to set boundaries.
I miss my parents but I cannot forget how they attacked someone I love in my own home. AITAH for insisting on an apology before I have any contact with them?
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Tbh, as a parent of two college age kids, I’d have done the exact same thing as your parents did if I had a daughter in your situation
I hope this isn’t ragebait, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is
Your parents are right. You will only understand when you get to his age. You will have nothing in common with 22 year olds and think they’re children. He is taking advantage of a youngster.
Dawg you got 2 years in your 20’s and he’s old enough to be on his third kid. What do YOU think is going on?
> They said I was too young to decide for myself
You’re 22 and an adult and seem to be of sound mind.
They’re talking nonsense.
NTA
Their behavior is atrocious. Your parents seem weird.
well.. I don’t really want to defend your parents but the age gap is concerning 😬, it doesn’t excuse their behavior but they are in the right to not accept this relationship
frankly, i’m on the parents’ side. you are too blinded by your new relationship to see it
You are prioritizing a man whom you have known for only about a year and who is 14 years older to you over your parents who are truly looking out for you and are your true well wishers. He is a predator whether you like to accept it or not. But it’s your life, you can ruin it however you wish. Feel really sad for your parents.
YTA your parents were looking out for you. Chances are they’re right and in a few years you’ll realise it. The emotional maturity between a healthy 36 year old and a 22 year old is starkly different.
Most adjusted 36 year old might find a 22 year old sexually attractive but the emotionally immaturity and lack of life experience would be a huge turn off. The ones that are ok with the age gap most likely want someone they can control or is too inexperienced to pick up on the massive shortcomings that make them unattractive to people their own age.
Have you even moved out yet or are you still at your friends house saying you won’t talk to them.
Yeah their attitude is shitty and rude, but he is also a lot older that you, and you don’t exactly seem mature for your age
No you are not.They are soooooo wrong you are a bot BUT you have the right to be angry
You 22 yo, old enough to drink and to vote, and to think for yourself, what you want and love. NTA
NTA your parents might have been trying to “protect” you but that is disgusting behaviour. You are an adult now they are going to have to live with your choices or risk alienating you and causing you to go no contact. See how your bf feels and maybe go low contact with them if they keep it up.
Your boyfriend IS a predator. They don’t always show up shouting and salivating. Yiur parents are right. You’re very naive. Unless you pursued him, he’s looking for a fresh pup to train
NTA, the age gap isn’t weird nor illegal. it totally depends on both of you. You do you and as long as you’re not being taken advantage of its all good. You’re 22, not a child. Nobody knows what u look like either, maybe youre rather childish looking, that could be concerning, but just from simple age gap its a NTA.
Your parents should try to accept him, like any other boyfriend and see how it goes. hes not 60, not even 40.
ppl nowadays are so sensitive, 22 is a grown woman and she can date who she wants. and no, im not a 40y old incel im 25y old woman 😉
I’m sorry but I do understand that your parents don’t trust a 36 year old wanting to date their 22 year old daughter. What are his reasons for dating so much younger than himself? Why does he date someone who’s in such a different phase of their life? I think your expectations were unreasonable.
They can have their concerns of course, but they’re definitely TAs for how they handled it, I’m so sorry 😩 I’m a mum to teenagers, I too would be concerned, but handling it this way was only ever going to cause division. At the end of the day you’re an adult and can make your own choices. I do hope you can reconcile but they need to respect your choices and if they disagree they need to approach it like adults, not petty teenagers. Laughing and name calling your bf, yeah, that’s not on and is disrespecting you both 🥺
YTA your boy toy is a predator
NTA, it is your choice who to date.
Lol YTA, because your parents are right.
Reddit is not the place to come if you want people to embrace your ridiculous age-gap relationship. It’s predatory in so many ways and either you’re about to get piled on for being so immature and unwise and coming here to write this, or you’re about to hear from thousands of strangers about exactly why age gap relationships are bad. Then again, why not both?!
I have to stress: only people who are in or want to be in age-gap relationships are going to agree with you at this point. The rest of the world is going ick. 🤢
Question : why is a 36 year old man interested in someone so young?
You’re 22 years old.. Could you date a barely legal 18 year old? Image how your boyfriend could date you?
You have nothing in common with a teenager even at 22 years old. Imagine you at 25 with a 18 year old boyfriend; at 28 years old; at 32 years old again with an 18 year old child.
Now think about your parents.
It’s you that owes your parents an apology. Your boyfriend sounds a bit sleazy tbh.
You were 4 when your BF turned 18… I’m with the parents on this one
You’re not even 2/3 of his age. He was 14 when you were born. He reached 18 when you were 4 years old. He was already old enough to have multiple children by the time you turned 18. I promise you that there are people in your age group to be dating
So when he was 22 you were 8.
I don’t know OP.
Do you think that it’s okay? Would you plan to date someone that’s 8 now in a few years?
Your parents are right that he’s probably a predator.
You are an adult and can make your own choices, but your parents are adults and can make their own choices too.
YTA for expecting them to react in any other way. You can still see him though as you’re an adult, but you can’t expect your parents to support it.
I am sure Mark is very good at telling you exactly what you wanna hear but he is a creep. I personally think your parents are very restrained. Yta.
YTA
>”I am 22F and my boyfriend Mark is 36M”
I am immediately creeped out by the 14 year age gap.
>”I always defended him because he has been nothing but kind and respectful.”
I said the same thing when I was about 20 and involved with a guy who would only describe his age as ‘closer to that of your parents than to you’. I was being groomed and didn’t even realize it – Your parents can smell the manipulation coming a mile away, that’s what comes along with age is a built-in BS detector.
>”since then I have refused to see or speak to my parents until they admit they were out of line.”
That’s likely never going to happen. Are you okay with never speaking to your parents again for the ultimate sin of wanting to protect their daughter from a man who is clearly giving them shady vibes?
He was 4 years away from being a legal adult when you were born
99.99% of the time, I’d say NTA, but in your situation, I have to say YTA. I do agree your parents’ behavior isn’t acceptable. But dating someone who is 14 years older than you is honestly quite naive. That guy you’re dating is also wrong for choosing to be with someone so young.
It’s your life and your choice, of course. But since you’ve posted about your situation on Reddit, I have to say you’re in the wrong here. You’ll probably understand this better when you’re a bit older and more mature.
He’ll trade you in 3-4 years from now for a newer model, and you’ll be all alone because your family will not be there because you abandoned them.
YTA. Listen to your parents.
YTA
NTA. Both of my older sisters have been in happy relationships with men much older than them. (52 and 74, together 30) (39 and 50, together 7). You’re young, but old enough to know what you want. You don’t need morons on the internet like us to figure that out.
> I miss my parents but I cannot forget how they attacked someone I love in my own home.
no offence, but isn’t it really their home?
is your name on that mortgage? do you pay the bills every month? be honest, did you buy a single piece of the furniture in that house? do you put food on the table?
i’m not asking you these things to belittle you. i’m asking because i want you to really think about what stage you are at in life, and what is making your parents say these things about your boyfriend.
if they truly are responsible for your wellbeing in so many tangible ways, they actually probably have a better idea of how naive you are than you do. like, protecting your safety and innocence is literally the entire job of parenthood. and i don’t mean like you don’t know about sex or something. but learning to really size up a situation with a discerning eye for who is being honest; that is something you only really learn through painful trial and error.
don’t cut your parents off over this. even if they’re wrong about you, they care about you. life is long and hard, you want everyone in your corner that you can get.
Ma’am, no man in his late thirties is dating a 22 year old unless women closer to his age do not want him. They date young because they can manipulate and control the narrative, and they choose girls who don’t have enough life experience to recognize the red flags. Your parents are trying to protect you.
YTA
Yta. Over my dead body, I would let my kid get with a 36 year old at 22. Do you have common sense? What does a nearly 40 year old want with a 22 year old? What do you have in common? Why can’t he have a relationship with someone his own age? Would you be okay with your daughter getting with someone with that much of an age gap? And if yes. Maybe you don’t have kids. He is a creep, and you’re an idiot.
You are an adult who can make your own decisions
There’s a reason why 36yo women aren’t dating Mark and he’s targeting someone who’s 22. I’d be really disturbed if anyone I knew when I was 22 was with someone who was 36. Girl he’s too old for you.
They could have gone about it better but your parents are right
Your parents were rude but not wrong about your bf. When he was your age (22), you were 8 years old. That does rather scream predator.
If my daughter came home with a guy few year younger than me, I would do the same or something similar.
NTA
You’re 22 not 17. Why would YOU be the asshole for trying to let them get to know him?
I understand they want what “they think” is the best for you, but you’re 22 and make your own decisions. Your parents owe you and especially Mark an apology.
INFO: curious… wha’s the age difference between your parents
YTA and I hope you never find out one day that your parents concerns are valid. The age gap is weird as fuck
And she was 21 when they got together, so 35 and 21. Ick. I remember when I was 35 and 21 years olds looked so young and seemed like teenagers. He is a predator.
There is a reason some older men won’t and can’t date people their own age, and they go for young immature people who are easier to manipulate and don’t actually see all the red flags. Your parents would be seeing right through his act
This is not good.
Your parents handled this poorly, but the age gap is a huge red warning flag that you’re ignoring.
At minimum, pay close attention to signs that he may be controlling or he’s isolating you from friends/family or that he talks down/patronizes you. Eve better, I think you should break up with the boyfriend.
Sorry to say it, but your parents are right. Never heard of love bombing? That’s exactly how it starts? How do you think people find themselves in abusive relationships? Do you think predator introduce themselves by saying “hi, I’m a groomer in search for my next victim”? Of course they always look at their best behaviour when they’re in the middle of brainwashing their victims, it’s when they think they got you that their true colors show up. And your parents are right: you are naive enough to not see the signs, so they’re trying to make you recognize them but you’re too blinded by Mark. Just the fact that you’re willing to trust a stranger before your own parents says a lot already. Run from Mark before it’s too late.
“Mark left shaken” because they saw right through him. And you detaching yourself from your parents is exactly what Mark has planned all along. If you let him keep doing this to you, before you realize it, you’ll be left with no family, no friends, nobody except Mark.
I hope OP marries mark just to spite all yall nerds in here
You are going to regret dating a 36yo.
Today. Tomorrow. Next year.
It’s an extremely common occurrence.
Red red flag on age gap..
Have you read the other stories about age differences as big as yours on here? There is almost never a good reason why a man his age prefers the company of someone as young as you over women his own age.
The problem is, you won’t totally understand this yourself until you are his age now and realize how appalling this is.
You aren’t likely to take our advice and back away from the boyfriend, so here’s a consolation prize: stop expecting people’s approval for this terrible idea. If you want to go through this yourself and not learn from the wisdom of others, do it on your own and don’t demand that your parents or your friends like it.
ESH. Their behaviour at the dinner was excessive and not the right way to handle the issue, but you’re a fool if you think a man that age wanting to start a relationship with a 21yo isn’t either a predator or some sort of red flag (because there’s definitely a reason women in his own age group don’t want him.)
Girl…
First and only post ever & no earlier comments. I think this one may be fake.
Your parents aren’t wrong. There’s something wrong with a man who goes after women that much younger. Could be several different things, but definitely something wrong. And unfortunately you young and inexperienced women don’t know any better. You will eventually learn, and when you try to warn other young women they won’t listen to you either.
I’m going to tell you as I see it, I’m 33 years old and I still find attractive 22/23 years old guys, they are like really hot and they don’t look like babies BUT like every age I recognize that I may still have the same “interests” as them gaming or whatever , they still are immature and that’s not a diss is missing life experience and logic which is always going to be a turn off.
That guy wants sex from you and just that , because no matter how many times he tells you you are so wise for a 22 year old you’re not and again that’s not a diss, you aren’t wise and I’m not either at 33 .
I get it, but try to see it from your parents perspective, a strange man who is a lot older than their daughter is chasing her around not letting her involve at her own pace. He isn’t your Prince Charming, he’s a problem down the line but you aren’t ready to hear that yet. Yta
You are not the asshole for wanting respect and an apology for how they handled it, but you are missing the deeper point, your parents were right to be extremely concerned, even if they handled it badly. And tbh, if I were in their shoes, I don’t know if I would have handled it any better.
The core issue is not whether Mark is “kind” or “respectful”, it’s that he’s 36, you’re 22, and that’s a gigantic power imbalance.
Your brain is literally still developing. Google “frontal lobe development age”. You’re in very different life stages, experience levels, and financial stability. Someone over 35 dating someone under 25 almost always has one of two problems:
Either way, it’s a bad sign.
The fact that he chose to pursue you is already a red flag. His intentions don’t really matter. The age gap itself is the issue.
Your parents didn’t finesse it, but they were doing their job. You don’t have to like their delivery, but the substance of their concern is solid.
Best move?
Think through whether this relationship has any actual long-term safety or whether you’re being love-bombed.
It must be time for you two to move in together.
Don’t let the over the top ageist parents here ruin your life.
It used to be common practice for a woman to marry a man 12 years older than herself.
Assuming this isn’t fake…
>At first there was polite conversation about work and mutual friends.
Mutual friends? Well that’s cringey. What 22yo wants to date a guy so old he has mutual friends with her parents?
He’s dating you because no women in her 30s is interested in him.
It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to break up with him but you should. I have a daughter your age and I wouldn’t want to see her with a 30yo.
>I cannot forget how they attacked someone I love in my own home.
It’s their home. You’re 22. Get a job and move out if you don’t like it there.
YTA
They are the run of the mill trash bags. They want you to get ran through and then find a sucker like mom did. Tell mom and dad your not into the hoe life thing.
If your bf really loved you he wouldn’t date you
Lmao virgin redditors getting baited by a karma farming with an agenda
Soft YTA .
I can understand that you are in love with him, and you see your parents attack him… but a 14-yesr gap at your age is huge. It’s not like you can’t love each other but it’s very unlikely you are at the same stage in your lives. You have to live your life a little more to be at the same position than him.
Forgiveness starts with an apology from them
Cool fake rage bait age gap story bro 🤣
YTA. Your parents are looking out for you. Yes, by age, you are a grown up, but your behaviour and situation claim otherwise. You still live with your parents and you are still under they wing. Then, when they treat your boyfriend as grown ass man who went after college age girl (which he did) your solution is to ran away and cut them off. It doesn’t really scream maturity, doesn’t it?
Girl, I don’t even have kids, and I would’ve done the same as your folks. Open your eyes
Based on your current age, I would say be cautious. It isn’t so much of AH vs NAH, but you haven’t quite lived to make such a choice. If you were 32 and he were 46, I doubt there would be an issue. Your parents seem to come from a good place in trying to protect you, but their method could use some work. I’d have a conversation with your parents to work things out. If your bf is willing to wait for you, then you’d have your answer of love vs lust.
When I was 22 I dated, and later moved in with, a 35-year-old man. If family members had been rude and disapproving, I would have cut contact. The first year of the relationship was loving and wonderful. Then, he steadily turned condescending, rude, and controlling. The final straw was him telling me to cut contact with all my male friends (I did voluntary work and had a close friend circle of men and women aged 20s to 40s). I refused and he put his hands round my throat in a strangling gesture. I calmed him down and we went to bed. I packed and left the next day while he was at work.
Looking back months, years later, I saw the red flags. At 35, most people would be bored and annoyed by a partner aged 22, once the initial intense sexual attraction wears off. The only thing to keep such a relationship going is if the older partner gets a thrill out of dominating and manipulating the younger one. That guy couldn’t attract women his own age, as they found him too immature; it’s the only logical explanation.
My 22-23 year old self would hate me for saying this, but your parents are correct. They should have been polite about it, though.
YTA You are young and naive. You are right in being a young adult and making your own decisions (in this case the WRONG decision) but your families job will always be to protect you. They ARE right he IS a predator. He didn’t pick you because you’re so worldly and mature, independent and got your shit together. He’s with you because you’re young and can’t see his red flags yet. You’ll most likely listen to him and do as he says. Mark isn’t looking for a partner who is his EQUAL, he’s looking for someone who’ll do as she’s told and stay in her “lane”. Break up with him and go to your parents, go meet someone who is starting up in life like yourself.
Hi lovely, I’m 28 and my partner is 31 and even I notice the age difference between myself and him and his friends. We’re all internet kids with lots in common, same interest, music, TV, life, family. But the references they make are different and it’s running joke that they’re like frail senior citizens and I’m a limber young kid.
I know you might have some current things in common but how much can you actually have in common with that age difference. Why would he want to date someone that’s so much younger than him? Why can’t he be with someone his own age? Were any of the questions your parents asked about the ages of his previous girlfriends? Because if they were all around your age I would be concern if it’s truly you he’s interested in, or how you’re presenting now. Everyone grows and develops as an adult and you will too.
What was his reaction to you wanting to cut off your parents? Did he have any opinion?
Please put yourself first, not the relationship. You are the most important person in your life. And I know how your parents behaved might have been immature but know that they’re emotional about this because they love and care about you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this.
Unfortunately, YTA. Your infatuation is clouding your judgment, and it sounds like your parents have a more grounded perspective on the situation. The fact that your boyfriend brought flowers and was on his “best behaviour” doesn’t outweigh the deeper concerns at play.
Girl, please take off the rose-tinted glasses and look at the bigger picture. You should never prioritise a temporary boyfriend over your own family—especially when you haven’t mentioned any toxic or abusive behaviour from them, which suggests they’re reasonably normal.
As someone who dated a ~40yo in my early 20s, I dont recommend it. As I grew up, I realized why he couldn’t date women his own age. Took me 6 years. Then he cheated on me with someone younger. What used to make me feel special and “mature for my age” was now just a really gross pattern.
Your parents have known you longer than Mark The Predator has. Doesn’t matter how much you like him, objectively he’s preying on your naivety.
He is a lot older but I also know age gap couples that are some of the healthiest I have seen.
I understand your parents feelings but not their reaction. To me they are making the mistake of treating you like a child and pushing you towards him.
If I was to offer any advice and I’m reluctant tbh as I think it’s a messy situation already, would be to move out AND get a place of your own. Learn who you are living alone before moulding that to live with any partner.
He’s way below the half his age plus 7 rule.
ANOTHER ABJECT IDIOTIC SHITPOST
YTA
YTA
You invited them to dinner in their home. That speaks volumes. Being 22 makes you an adult but an inexperienced one at that, your parents may have approached the situation poorly but they are trying to protect you.
At 22 it’s hard to see the predators or recognize predatory behaviour, but they likely saw it from him.
That man is (or should be) in a very different in his life than you, and you mention him being on his best behaviour which is of itself concerning. Mature adults aren’t on their best behaviour, they simply are themselves.
And your rash decision to cut them off was very un adult like, you basically stomped your feet and left instead of having a mature conversation with them.
Reconcile and put this behind you, and find someone in your own life stage that you can grow with.
I’m sorry but YTA. Your parents have been around for a while and can see that the guy is so messed up for dating someone 14 years younger than him. Yes, they were out of line but they were protecting you from making a huge mistake.
Right now you cannot see what a mistake you make and only will realize doing so when you’re older. The guy is old enough that he could be your father.
I’ve personally been in your situation and dated someone who was 35 years old when I was 19. Men like that are groomers who twist everything and tell you what you want to hear and basically are manipulative. I couldn’t see it back then but I see it now and am thinking “what the hell was I thinking back then”. Don’t stay in this relationship with the 35 year old and fix the one you have with your parents.
Darling, I’m 29 and wouldn’t date a 22 year old because they’re too damn immature. You don’t realise yet how much growth happens in your 20s.
That man is a predator.
You’re not the asshole setting boundaries and expecting respect for your relationship is reasonable, even if your parents disagree with your choices.
Sorry but YTA.
You’re dating a predator and your parents are trying to protect you.
Dump the weirdo and go home to people that love you.
Way too rage-baity. Can’t be real
Age gap is hard. If you two love each other, be patient. It take a time to prove.
It’s always the 22F saying I love him so much, and the 36M saying I want to marry her 🤦🏾♂️. Girls always need to have a phase where they disappoint their woman-self, only to realize, as a woman, they don’t agree with decisions their girl-self made thinking they were mature.
Your parents are right, you’re too naive… please grow up.
Your parents are right.
It night galling to admit, but they are.
Im 36 and at Uni with 22 year olds. The idea of shagging any of them makes my skin crawl.
Im genuinely friends with heaps of my students who are younger then me, but we have wildly different lives, expectations, experiences, social media habits, tastes…
Like Im trying really hard to view this without being influenced by societys view that a 36 woman wanting to date someone much younger is not a predator. Like I’m literally lying here on my couch, trying to convince myself to feel sexual attraction to my classmates 🤣
So, what Ive figured out/ what makes 22 year olds so unattractive to me:
I am not going to call you an AH. You’re young and being manipulated, so I’ll be gentle.
Listen to your parents. They are far wiser than you and clearly reacted to what they were seeing in him. Please trust the people that care for your safety and long term security.
NTA, and I’m so sorry you are living with shitty family and friends (the friends backing you up saying you have a right to set boundaries are cleared)
Anyone saying you went too far, block them and never speak to them ever again. Protect your man!
If my 23yr old daughter was dating a 36yr old man, I would be terrified. The fact you are considering cutting them off, thus becoming isolated from your biggest support system leaving you and the bf “it’s just us against the world” is absolutely textbook in these kinds of relationships. I felt sick and my stomach dropped as soon as I saw the ages at the beginning of your post.
u/BotSleuthBot
My ex is 10 years older than me. We had 2 kids together, but his maturity level was not what it should have been and as I got older it became more obvious. I wouldn’t say you are the AH, but your parents are trying to help you not make mistakes that could cause you some heartache down the road.
Just proceed with some caution with this guy. Your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. You have a few more years to go.
Call your parents and go back home. Sit down and have some conversations about their concerns. I’m not saying they are right, but I’m also not saying they are wrong. They may see things that you don’t and can point out behaviors and answers that you may not recognize as a problem.
Take your time and don’t rush your relationship with this guy. If he tries to push things….maybe your folks are right.
I’ll probably get downvoted to hell for this but fuck it, you are 22. Meaning you can vote, own a firearm, buy cigarettes and drink. You are consenting adult. You are allowed to make choices and mistakes. I get where your parents are coming from but they are very much out of line for attacking him like that. Calling him a predator? For what? Dating a chick that’s younger but still an adult? Honestly I’ve been in your bfs shoes. I’ve talked to girls way younger than me and yes I do feel insecure about the age gap but my friends, other girls and the girl I’d be talking too say they dont care and they said so long as they are consenting adults it shouldn’t be a problem. Nta but you need to gain some independence. They still view you as a child.
They’re right.
Info: how did you guys meet? What does he do for a living, and what kind of future do you picture with him?
Sorry this will be a huge generalisation, but the only reason why “older men” like younger women is because they are not mature enough and can be manipulated easier. This type of man knows exactly that a mature woman will see right through them. I find this kind of age difference a major red flag. And as father of a daughter I would not be happy with such a set up. Your parents may have not gone about it the right way, but I have no doubt that they are worried about your questionable choice and want to protect you.
Wow. I was 22 when I married a 36-year-old. I thought it was true love.
Please go slowly. Mine ended up getting increasingly controlling and abusive.
I am 15 years into my second marriage now.
The parents in their situation have two choices : act like yours did, or say nothing to keep the peace and look at their daughter being more and more abused and not able to leave an abusive relationship for years, and wasting her entire life.
Your parents did the right choice.
A man mark’s age never choose a very very young GF for good reasons.
The problem is, if you cut with them, you’ll be isolated, and it will be way easier for you predator to isolate you even more.
Okay so she’ll be 70 and him 84 Wat the f..ks wrong with that leave then alone let her find out if it happens I wish you all the best I hope it works great for you if not no .shit harm done you’ll learn from it and .ame a better choice next wish you all the best cause if you were my daughter I’d be glad to have you in my life still
She may be too immature to recognise the age difference could be an issue but all her parenta have done with this intervention is scare off their daughter.
She could literally go and get married to him without anyone knowing and then where would her parents be. I understand what they’re worried about but they couldn’t have gone about this worse!
Honestly everyone who is telling you that your boyfriend is a predator is wasting their time. Either they are wrong (and they will finally get that dollar they bet for being wrong that only unhealthy people in their mid 30’s+ date people in their early 20’s) or in a decade or so you will work out just how toxic he was.
You’re 22, you’re an adult, and you can cut off anyone you want to, you can make the life decisions that you want to do. But like when you were 16 and you knew everything, but your parents said things like “when you’re older you will understand”… I, at the ripe old age of 42, can tell you that, when I was your age I didn’t think there was a problem with me dating men in their 30s+, but looking back and seeing how inexperienced in the adult world I was and how immature and problematic those men where, I feel for that child.
You aren’t going to listen, you’re not there yet, but consider for a moment they are right… And maybe not close a door you may need one day.
> I am 22F and my boyfriend Mark is 36M
Oh boy, let’s see these comments
While your parents handled this badly, they’re right. An almost middle aged man dating a freshly minted adult isn’t looking for a partner. He’s looking for young arm candy who is easy to manipulate and too inexperienced to see through his BS.
You haven’t answered: do you still live with your parents?
If so you come off as entitled. Sure, they sound harsh. But they didn’t diss you “in your own home.” They dissed your boyfriend in their home.
YTA (and the victim) asking your parents to apologizing to their peers for trying to sleep with their children is disgusting. The fact you think a $30 grocery store flowers would make up for it is crazy.
When you turn 25 and he Leo’s you in for a new teenager, you should apologize to your parents for assuming at 22 you were right about everything. PS your “boyfriend” is rancid.
YTA. Your parents are right. He is a predator. You were 21, possible 19/20 when you met and he was 33/ 34. Almost 15 years difference, THERE IS A REASON HE IS NOT DATING WOMEN HIS AGE. I repeat again as a parent who isn’t stupid, like your parents are being. There’s a fucking reason a man, 15 years difference, is not dating women his age. There is ALWAYS a reason and it is not because you are mature for your age. He would say that to 15 year olds as well.
YTA. You think you’re a mature adult ready to make mature adult decisions, but the fact is you’re willingly dating a guy who turned 18, when you were in only 4 years old.
Admittedly as you get older the age gap matters less, but it still matters a whole lot when you’re not even in your 30’s yet. FFS your frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed until you’re in your mid to late 20’s.
You need to grow up and realize your parents are probably seeing red flags that you’re willingly binding yourself to.
Listen to your parents!
your parents are right, go back home. a 36 year old man should want to settle down, there’s a reason a man who could’ve been your father is dating you, and that’s usually because you re easier to influence.
at the same time, their behaviour crossed many lines, but I fear it’s coming from a place of care. this is no reason to excuse the behaviour, but it’s best you navigate this by setting your boundaries with them and having an honest conversation where you are open to hear about the dangers of this relationship as well, while firmly telling them they can’t speak and act this violent and disrespectful, regardless of how they feel
ESH
you’re immature but an adult and free to choose your own fuck ups, your parents are protective but assholes and your boyfriend is almost certainly a predator.
NTA! I know people who have age gaps of 20 years. As long as he’s not manipulative and doing things like keeping you away from friends and family, as long as he doesn’t isolate you so you only have him, as long as he is loving towards you and he doesn’t abuse you mentally, phisically and sexually, I don’t see any concerns.
NTA
My cousin married a 32 year old man when she was 19. He was a lovely lovely man, husband and father. He wasn’t a predator, wasn’t only with her because he couldn’t get anyone his own age and wasn’t abusive. He stuck with her until he died. The last memory I have is of him at our family reunion, providing childcare on his own so that his adult kids could go have fun without having their kids running around. Nobody came and helped him out and he missed most of it as a result and he said he was ok spending time with his grandchildren.
I can’t say the same thing about his daughter’s same age husband who recently decided she was too old and figured he’d leave her for a newer model.
So if you really do feel that this is your guy then don’t listen to your parents.
But, please do read up on addiction, love bombing and coercive control. Not all older guys do this but it is more common in age gap relationships than same age ones.
At 22 you’re an adult and you and your chosen partner can expected to be treated with respect
your parents are absolutely right to be concerned, and you’re an idiot. go back and apologize to your parents for being a brat, and date someone age appropriate
Girl, many people would kill to have parents as protective and smart as yours. Maybe they were too blunt about it but that’s nothing compared to what may happen to you. You’re being groomed. Please give your parents another chance, you’re being reckless.
Ur parents looking out for u. They didn’t need to be rude though. If u were my child I would have spoken to u about it separately. Age is a bit big for u being so young. But doing what ur parents have done has pushed u away. As said I would have spoken about it and then supported u. Love can be blind & maybe is us a nice guy. Keeping you close by & being understanding would enable them to keep an eye on u both.
I am on your parents side, sorry.