Backup of the post’s body: Hello everyone im coming here to ask for your opinion/ advice. I (23F) and my boyfriend (21M) have come to somewhat of an understanding but let me get to the main points that made me finally make this decision. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years we went to the same high school and grew up with the same friend groups we got introduced by mutual friends who were dating and have been together ever since. We have been through a lot together i have a severe autoimmune disorder and i regularly get check ups by specialists to keep my health in tip top shape. Now if i told you guys all the messed up things shes done to me through out the years ive been around we would be here all day but let me tell you guys what the final straw was.
So last year in November just before my moms birthday and before my birthday and christening(my birthday is in december). My grandmother passed away. Me and my grandmother were extremely close, we baked together and i was the only grand daughter she ever fully allowed in “her” kitchen. My grandmother was very specific about her cooking and i was the one grandchild she truly did mind teaching to cook because since i was little i just always wanted to help. When she passed my heart broke, it was like time stopped and i lost a piece of myself. My father was a deadbeat and my grandma and great grandparents were the ones who did their best to give me a good childhood when my father picked and chose when to be around my mother also did her best to protect me and give me a childhood and me and my mother have a great mother daughter relationship.
Now back to where i finally kinda lost my shit….. once i got that call i dropped and just cried for hours. A few days went by and i still took my mother out to eat for her birthday she knew i was going through a loss still and i had moments where i did have to excuse myself to get my emotions (crying) under control. A few weeks pass by and only my mom and man were there for me. My mother in law never once said my condolences, never asked how i was doing, never checked in on me. Ive been with her son (21M) for 4 years this new years. I also have been by her side and traveled to mexico with her and my sister in laws and my boyfriend for multiple of their family funerals, the second they asked me to come with them i didnt hesitate and i went and whenever she got super drunk we carried her to the car and held her while she cried and made sure she was okay while grieving.
Im not saying she owes me anything im not saying she had to come with me all the way across country to my home town for a funeral or anything like that, all i wanted from her was a simple im sorry for you loss. Thats it, Instead i got radio silence until she needed something from me. Through these last a little over 3 and a half years. The other little incidents that built up to this include, first year of me and him together she got drunk and told me in front of my mans cousin (22F) “if you ever had a kid with my son, i dont know if id accept it” she said it in a way where even his cousin pulled me to the side and apologized for her behavior. That same night i was the one who carried her up two flights of stairs helped her into bed, put a glass of water on her bedside table and some tylenol for her along with a pack of her favorite crackers so she would have it all by her whenever she got up hungover. Thats just one of many incidents from the first year.
Second year into dating the year i finally got her son to quit drinking, he still vaped but i at least got him to stop drinking 3-4 full sized buchanas bottles a day, something she let him drink regularly throughout his teen days (dont get me started on it). He went from heavily drinking as a teen to now we only occasionally drink a beer or a shot here or there but we both never get drunk at all (my father was an addict and me and my fiance both have addicts in our family so we mutually agreed we dont like how alcohol can affect our families so we chose to go cold turkey. Year two of me and my (21M) boyfriend dating she tried to smack me for not reminding her of my birthday, when i had already been around for two years and gotten gifts for her and her kids for all their birthdays for 2 years in a row now, she still refused to put in any effort to remember my birthday but rather got upset with me that i didnt “remind her” as if it was my responsibility. Im also someone who always did something small for my birthday just a small family dinner. Nothing crazy and since my 21st i havent really wanted to fully celebrate my birthday especially when during year 3 of being with my (21M) boyfriend when i lost my grandma i really didnt want to celebrate i just went through old photos of me baking with my grandma and decorating cupcakes and just being around her and my cousins. Im not gonna lie my grandma passing really smacked me hard, to this day i cry randomly when i think of her just wishing she couldve stayed around until i had my first kid, but i know she probably was excited she already had a play date with my first two little ones up there taking care of them until i join them up there. Back to the point.
Sorry if you cant tell im still grieving as i type this but its because i really want to know if I ATAH. So after she tried to smack me i caught her hand mid air before she could smack me and i looked at her and tilted my head to the side. “Where you really gonna fucking do that” i said to her taken aback and she stayed quiet pulled her hand away and tried to change the subject. She continued to get drunk that year if not daily every other day and say extremely fucked up things to me in front of everyone but my man. My mans female cousin who had witnessed it before had finally said something to my man one day when me and her were talking before this christmas that just passed and she said to my man “do you realize how fucked up your mom treats her when your not around?” He just stayed quiet and listened as his cousin kind went in on how fucked up my MIL (38F) treats me.
When i lost my grandma i made one post and then went radio silent making a small honorary post for the loss of my grandma posting some of my memories with my grandma and how i miss her so much. I didnt get not one my condolences from his mom so i decided to spend christmas with my mom and little sister and my dog. My MIL asked my boyfriend to come over their house with our dog so i compromised and said he could take our dog but i didnt want our dog just locked outside or locked up shes well behaved and just because shes a big breed doesnt mean she only belongs outside ( my MIL believes big dogs only belong outside even if its over 100 degrees in weather she doesnt care she will leave the dogs outside at least any shes owned and she doesnt take the time to train any of her dogs fully thats her “kids” responsibilities in her eyes) so im with my mom and sister enjoying our time together when i get a call from my boyfriend telling me his mom was asking me to come because she got me a gift. Mind you i purchased her Christmas gift months early because i remembered when she told me she really wanted this one perfume so i got her that perfume. I did a cute little present inside a present set up and put little twist up butterflies inside each little layer so as she opened up the gift little butterflies would fly out. The perfume was about $200 with taxes. I didnt care about the cost i just got it because i remembered her saying she wanted it so i got her the largest size i could find of it. After she convinced my man they had gotten me a meaningful gift i finally agreed to only go over for a little due to only majority having bad experiences around his mom because its his mom.
My man and my mom have such a good bond i just sometimes with my MIL would mature and realize im not in a competition with her. Anyway my man convinces me saying “she said her and rose (my mans older younger sister) got you a gift and they really want you to come, i get it if you dont want to. I didnt really want to but i really love my man and i wanted to have a good relationship with my MIL, but after this no thank you. I get there a little before midnight (they open presents right at midnight for christmas) i go in and dont see my dog outside or in the house and already im slightly irritated and i ask “wheres my dog.” They proceed to tell me that (rose’s) dog growled at my dog so they locked my dog up even though my dog was behaving and only wanted to play outside they locked my dog up because roses dog was in the house and they let her dog be aggressive and dont put in the work to train their dog. My dog (1year old great dane, roses dog slightly older cane corso). I was already a little irritated about that so while everyone stayed inside i went to the garage where my dog was locked up in a crate and i went in to spend time with her until it was time for presents. Now my two sister in laws are young the oldest of the two little sisters is only 19 the youngest 14 at this point. They both had boyfriends. Who were here for christmas as well, they got boxes of proclub sweats and shirts (clothes i also wear all the time around them all) , jewelry the whole nine yards…. Things that actually had thought in them. Me i like cooking painting and photography.
I have a little polaroid film costs about 19.99 for a two pack at walmart. Canvases i used cost less than $10 each, cooking wise ive asked her for an apron before…. What did i get? A see through $10 pajama set and a robe (about$8). Now i dont care about the price of the items, my issue is i know there was little to no thought into these two small gifts that i opened in one box and i just sat there while everyone was continuing to open the multiple presents they got everyone else and when she opened her gift i got her all i got was a “nice” then they moved on not a thank you nothing like that. So i excuse
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Backup of the post’s body: Hello everyone im coming here to ask for your opinion/ advice. I (23F) and my boyfriend (21M) have come to somewhat of an understanding but let me get to the main points that made me finally make this decision. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years we went to the same high school and grew up with the same friend groups we got introduced by mutual friends who were dating and have been together ever since. We have been through a lot together i have a severe autoimmune disorder and i regularly get check ups by specialists to keep my health in tip top shape. Now if i told you guys all the messed up things shes done to me through out the years ive been around we would be here all day but let me tell you guys what the final straw was.
So last year in November just before my moms birthday and before my birthday and christening(my birthday is in december). My grandmother passed away. Me and my grandmother were extremely close, we baked together and i was the only grand daughter she ever fully allowed in “her” kitchen. My grandmother was very specific about her cooking and i was the one grandchild she truly did mind teaching to cook because since i was little i just always wanted to help. When she passed my heart broke, it was like time stopped and i lost a piece of myself. My father was a deadbeat and my grandma and great grandparents were the ones who did their best to give me a good childhood when my father picked and chose when to be around my mother also did her best to protect me and give me a childhood and me and my mother have a great mother daughter relationship.
Now back to where i finally kinda lost my shit….. once i got that call i dropped and just cried for hours. A few days went by and i still took my mother out to eat for her birthday she knew i was going through a loss still and i had moments where i did have to excuse myself to get my emotions (crying) under control. A few weeks pass by and only my mom and man were there for me. My mother in law never once said my condolences, never asked how i was doing, never checked in on me. Ive been with her son (21M) for 4 years this new years. I also have been by her side and traveled to mexico with her and my sister in laws and my boyfriend for multiple of their family funerals, the second they asked me to come with them i didnt hesitate and i went and whenever she got super drunk we carried her to the car and held her while she cried and made sure she was okay while grieving.
Im not saying she owes me anything im not saying she had to come with me all the way across country to my home town for a funeral or anything like that, all i wanted from her was a simple im sorry for you loss. Thats it, Instead i got radio silence until she needed something from me. Through these last a little over 3 and a half years. The other little incidents that built up to this include, first year of me and him together she got drunk and told me in front of my mans cousin (22F) “if you ever had a kid with my son, i dont know if id accept it” she said it in a way where even his cousin pulled me to the side and apologized for her behavior. That same night i was the one who carried her up two flights of stairs helped her into bed, put a glass of water on her bedside table and some tylenol for her along with a pack of her favorite crackers so she would have it all by her whenever she got up hungover. Thats just one of many incidents from the first year.
Second year into dating the year i finally got her son to quit drinking, he still vaped but i at least got him to stop drinking 3-4 full sized buchanas bottles a day, something she let him drink regularly throughout his teen days (dont get me started on it). He went from heavily drinking as a teen to now we only occasionally drink a beer or a shot here or there but we both never get drunk at all (my father was an addict and me and my fiance both have addicts in our family so we mutually agreed we dont like how alcohol can affect our families so we chose to go cold turkey. Year two of me and my (21M) boyfriend dating she tried to smack me for not reminding her of my birthday, when i had already been around for two years and gotten gifts for her and her kids for all their birthdays for 2 years in a row now, she still refused to put in any effort to remember my birthday but rather got upset with me that i didnt “remind her” as if it was my responsibility. Im also someone who always did something small for my birthday just a small family dinner. Nothing crazy and since my 21st i havent really wanted to fully celebrate my birthday especially when during year 3 of being with my (21M) boyfriend when i lost my grandma i really didnt want to celebrate i just went through old photos of me baking with my grandma and decorating cupcakes and just being around her and my cousins. Im not gonna lie my grandma passing really smacked me hard, to this day i cry randomly when i think of her just wishing she couldve stayed around until i had my first kid, but i know she probably was excited she already had a play date with my first two little ones up there taking care of them until i join them up there. Back to the point.
Sorry if you cant tell im still grieving as i type this but its because i really want to know if I ATAH. So after she tried to smack me i caught her hand mid air before she could smack me and i looked at her and tilted my head to the side. “Where you really gonna fucking do that” i said to her taken aback and she stayed quiet pulled her hand away and tried to change the subject. She continued to get drunk that year if not daily every other day and say extremely fucked up things to me in front of everyone but my man. My mans female cousin who had witnessed it before had finally said something to my man one day when me and her were talking before this christmas that just passed and she said to my man “do you realize how fucked up your mom treats her when your not around?” He just stayed quiet and listened as his cousin kind went in on how fucked up my MIL (38F) treats me.
When i lost my grandma i made one post and then went radio silent making a small honorary post for the loss of my grandma posting some of my memories with my grandma and how i miss her so much. I didnt get not one my condolences from his mom so i decided to spend christmas with my mom and little sister and my dog. My MIL asked my boyfriend to come over their house with our dog so i compromised and said he could take our dog but i didnt want our dog just locked outside or locked up shes well behaved and just because shes a big breed doesnt mean she only belongs outside ( my MIL believes big dogs only belong outside even if its over 100 degrees in weather she doesnt care she will leave the dogs outside at least any shes owned and she doesnt take the time to train any of her dogs fully thats her “kids” responsibilities in her eyes) so im with my mom and sister enjoying our time together when i get a call from my boyfriend telling me his mom was asking me to come because she got me a gift. Mind you i purchased her Christmas gift months early because i remembered when she told me she really wanted this one perfume so i got her that perfume. I did a cute little present inside a present set up and put little twist up butterflies inside each little layer so as she opened up the gift little butterflies would fly out. The perfume was about $200 with taxes. I didnt care about the cost i just got it because i remembered her saying she wanted it so i got her the largest size i could find of it. After she convinced my man they had gotten me a meaningful gift i finally agreed to only go over for a little due to only majority having bad experiences around his mom because its his mom.
My man and my mom have such a good bond i just sometimes with my MIL would mature and realize im not in a competition with her. Anyway my man convinces me saying “she said her and rose (my mans older younger sister) got you a gift and they really want you to come, i get it if you dont want to. I didnt really want to but i really love my man and i wanted to have a good relationship with my MIL, but after this no thank you. I get there a little before midnight (they open presents right at midnight for christmas) i go in and dont see my dog outside or in the house and already im slightly irritated and i ask “wheres my dog.” They proceed to tell me that (rose’s) dog growled at my dog so they locked my dog up even though my dog was behaving and only wanted to play outside they locked my dog up because roses dog was in the house and they let her dog be aggressive and dont put in the work to train their dog. My dog (1year old great dane, roses dog slightly older cane corso). I was already a little irritated about that so while everyone stayed inside i went to the garage where my dog was locked up in a crate and i went in to spend time with her until it was time for presents. Now my two sister in laws are young the oldest of the two little sisters is only 19 the youngest 14 at this point. They both had boyfriends. Who were here for christmas as well, they got boxes of proclub sweats and shirts (clothes i also wear all the time around them all) , jewelry the whole nine yards…. Things that actually had thought in them. Me i like cooking painting and photography.
I have a little polaroid film costs about 19.99 for a two pack at walmart. Canvases i used cost less than $10 each, cooking wise ive asked her for an apron before…. What did i get? A see through $10 pajama set and a robe (about$8). Now i dont care about the price of the items, my issue is i know there was little to no thought into these two small gifts that i opened in one box and i just sat there while everyone was continuing to open the multiple presents they got everyone else and when she opened her gift i got her all i got was a “nice” then they moved on not a thank you nothing like that. So i excuse
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