A few weeks ago, my sister (33) asked me (29f) to drive her and her three small kids (6, 4, and 6 months) from Cincinnati to Huntsville, AL. She wanted to hang out with her best friend, and I figured I could use the time to see my long-distance girlfriend. Seemed fair.
She also asked me to watch her kids and her best friend’s two (14 and 9) for two days out of the five-day trip. I agreed — not ideal, but whatever. I was also supposed to drive them all to Cleveland once it was over. We agreed I’d stay with her at her best friend’s house. I confirmed the sleeping situation ahead of time, asking, “Are you sure they have room for me?” She said yes — they had a big house, an air mattress, couches, and if necessary, I could sleep in her bed. Cool. Nothing else was mentioned.
Then our aunt passed away shortly before the trip. I drove everyone from Cleveland to Middletown for the funeral, the day before we were set to leave. I stayed with a friend in Cincinnati that night so I could actually sleep. My great-aunt (from Lawrenceburg, TN) was at the funeral and told me my sister kept asking her over and over what time they’d be leaving and getting back — which seemed oddly specific at the time.
We were supposed to leave for Huntsville at 10 a.m. the next day. Instead, she stalled us until nearly 2 p.m. I drove 4.5 hours with multiple stops for potty breaks. Then, as we’re nearing Lawrenceburg (not even our destination), she suddenly says, “Oh, by the way, plans changed — me and the kids are going to Atlanta for a day.”
This meant I couldn’t stay at her best friend’s house, because apparently I’m not allowed to be alone in the house with her best friend’s husband. I asked why she didn’t tell me that earlier, and she snapped, “I’m grown, I don’t have to tell you my plans ahead of time.”
I was pissed but said fine — I’d reach out to our great-aunt and see if I could stay with her that night. THEN, about 30 minutes from Huntsville, she suddenly suggests I stay with our aunt the whole week because “she doesn’t think” her best friend’s husband is comfortable with me staying there at all.
I didn’t even respond. She took it upon herself to call our great-aunt anyway and arrange for me to stay. While stopped so the 6-year-old could pee, she jumped in the driver’s seat, turned the car around, and drove me to Lawrenceburg. Like, that was never the plan. No discussion. Just dropped me off and yelled, “See ya Thursday!” — as in, to babysit the kids.
Mind you, my girlfriend could only visit me one day instead of the two we had planned, since I was now way further from her. I was furious.
It’s now Wednesday. A (reluctant) friend came to pick me up, and I’m currently on my way back to Ohio. I haven’t told my sister. She still thinks I’m watching her kids tomorrow and driving them all to Cleveland.
So… AITA for leaving her and her kids mid-trip? Or was I just being used from the jump?
Comments
NTA. Sister FA……now she’s about to FO.
NTA
You were always just being used. When she calls you all pissed off, be sure to tell her that you’re grown and don’t have to tell your plans ahead of time then hang up and block her before she can respond.
You’re NTA, but I find it kind of hard to believe you didn’t know that your sister was like this beforehand. Now you know better the next time she wants anything. Be less of a door mat, take control of your life.
NTA. Your sister was using you as a free Uber driver and expecting you to make overnight plans at your own cost. She was the rude one knowing you had no interest in this trip, and couldn’t be bothered to tell you that plans – impacting you – had changed. She doesn’t now get free babysitting services from you.
NTA and nice job. You did the only right thing you’ve could think off and I hope it’s gonna catch you sister by surprise and if we’re all lucky enough it’s gonna waste all her plans for the day.
Please be gracefull and share with us her outburst.
UpdateMe!
NTA
You took the time to drive your sister to Tennessee and she stabbed you in the back. She deserved this. Also, as someone who lives in Huntsville, if you have never been here, you are not missing much except your girlfriend.
NTA. she dropped you off and took your car. if I was you I’d report the car as stolen
NTA And tell your sister, when she asks, that your plans changed and as an adult you don’t have to inform her of those plans. You also need to report your car as stolen.
She stole your car?
NTA……….Sister is abusive and has not respect for you. Dump her and her changing plans that leave you screwed
YTA for being AI
Good for you. What a jerk she is! NTA
She dumped you and ruined your plans so screw her. She is lucky you didn’t take the car
nta
NTA. I would text her, “As you know well, plans change unexpectedly. I am home now.”
She took your car? Why did you let her take your car? Definitely do not babysit for her. Stop letting her push you around. You’ve been a doormat so far. She FAFO.
NTA, for sure… but I want an update!!
Another case of but you can’t be angry because we’re
FAMNMMMMILY
Which I’m sorry is a total load of crap. She took advantage of you. She used you. I’m betting it cost you a ton of money and gas and snacks and everything else that you weren’t expecting to pay. But she has all those kids and she was short and will catch you later. Yeah, she made plans to do what she wanted. Lied to you from the get-go and then figured out a way to get rid of you and I’m sorry this was your car. She literally dropped you off and took possession of your car. If we’re misunderstanding this, I think you need to clarify whether you were driving her car or your own car because it seems to me like she doesn’t consider you to be
FAMNMMMMILY
she considers you to be her personal slave. She asked you as a courtesy but she expects you to deal with whatever happens and put up with whatever happens because you for some reason owe her. I’m guessing she might be a single mom or you make more money than she does. Whatever it is, you therefore owe her your entire life because she’s special.
I’m going to be a little rude here. If it’s your car and she dumped you off and took your car. Yeah you should have called the cops right then family or not. She does not have the right to take your car without your permission. If she had an accident you would be on the hook for the rest of your life for the damages because you’re the owner and God forbid it was her stupidity but it’s still your car. She’d blame it on you if one of her kids got hurt and you’d be paying the rest of your life. So if it was your car and you didn’t call the cops, you’re an idiot
If it was her car then I wouldn’t have stayed for one day.
You were only supposed to watch those kids for maybe 2 days and it was supposed to be at a friend’s house and all of that and then plans completely changed and she ditched her kids after I called the cops for stealing my car I’d have also told them that she abandoned her children and I would have the local social services pick the kids up and put them in their custody and then I’d find a way to get home if I had to take a bus beg every friend I could to send me a few dollars and take a bus if I had to and I would be out of contact the whole time.
You agreed to 2 days. She dumped them for a week. Yeah, that’s not what we agreed to and I don’t care that your plans changed. Your plans included my time and you decided you don’t have to tell me that I’m just expected to fall in line. Well the reality is she abandoned her children and they should have gone to social services right then and let her figure the freaking mess out personally if the way it reads it was your car. She should have been arrested for car theft. You should have gotten your car back. You should have turned the kids over to social services and you should ignore her and probably the rest of your family for a good 6 months of no contact and only if people apologize to you for taking advantage of you and lying to you like what I even consider accepting their apology
Besides, it might prevent it from happening again because it feels to me like this is her standard operating procedure and she’s going to keep doing it until you stop her though. So right now if she ever asked you to go again the minute she takes your car you call the cops to get her arrested. If she dumps her kids on you, you call social services and get them taken and let her figure out how to undo the mess she created
Because that will get through to her not to screw with you because there is nothing else on the face of this Earth other than getting her kids removed even temporarily and getting her arrested for car theft will tell her that she can’t keep doing this because every time you let her do it you prove that she has the right to
NTA.
Updateme
YTA for not calling the police about a stolen car.
I mean, OP you’re grown. You don’t need to her all your plans ahead of time.
NTA. Your sister stole your car – report it stolen immediately. Your sister abandoned her children- report that at the same time.
NTA But make sure the only response you give her for where you are is ““=I’m grown, I don’t have to tell you my plans ahead of time.”.
But… also why did you allow her to take your car? Is it your car? Is the car going to be brought back in the same condition if its your car? You might want to include a little message after the first one “Oh yeah, since we are both grown if there is any damage or mess to the car I am expecting to be reimbursed for it as well.”
Hell, update all of us please
NTA
OP drive everyone…was it OP’s car that the sister absconded with? If so, my first stop would have been to wherever dear sister is staying and take the damn car back!
NTA! She figured it was fine to change the plans and not tell you, it should also be fine for you to change the plans and not tell her.
So sister B she doesn’t have a car? Why didn’t she drives her self? Why are you don’t have a back bone? Why, why and why?
Updateme!
She’s dead wrong. You always update your driver
YTA bc ain’t no way you let her take your car. Fake post
Never ever agree to anything with her ass again.. that was a huge duck move. What if your aunt couldn’t have you, then you’d been stranded. She didn’t even give a f about you. You owe her nothing. I think it’s wild she expected you to be the chauffeur slash nanny most of the trip anyways.
Updateme
Updateme
Update me
YTA for being a karma farming bot posting the same story a zillion times all in one day.
Nope your 100% right
How about an update later?
NTA. Please use the phrase “I’m grown, I don’t have to tell you my plans ahead of time” when she gets angry at you.
Are the kids being taken care of by the great-aunt? This whole story is confusing. NTA as long as the kids are safe.
That is some narcissistic BS she did. You don’t owe her anything and she doesn’t respect you. Now you know where you stand.
NTA. If it is your car, report it stolen.
Your sister sounds unhinged. Why would you agree to the original plan, it was terrible.
When she complains reminder that you are grown, and don’t have to tell her your plans ahead of time.
Her plans changed. So did yours. Simple as that.
NTA