So I made a new friend (Lindsey) and we hit it off well. We’ve hung out a few times as well with other friends. I met her from another friend and we just vibes. We both adore chickens and animals in general, she met my lizards and loved them. She also wants to be a veterinarian. Everything was great!
Until we went out to eat with our other friend Emma. I got chicken tenders and Lindsey’s face just dropped and she says, “I thought you loved chickens”. I said “I do, after reptiles ducks and chickens are my favorite animals, but I’m not vegan or vegetarian.’
I didn’t think anything of it until she goes, “If you really loved animals you wouldn’t eat them.” I was shocked and my friend Emma was uncomfortable. I said I do love animals and they saved my life growing up in an horrible home and I couldn’t live without my skink.
She then goes on to tell me that she thought better of me since I wanted to be a vet and had animals but it was unfortunate how I was a fake animal lover. She even went so far to say I shouldn’t own animals if I eat them. My skink saved me from suicide multiple times so I got so mad and told her if she felt that way maybe she should make sure to only make vegan friends in the future and left.
She has tried to text me that she was only trying to help me out by seeing the truth and I clearly hate vegans but I blocked her. I didn’t want to hear it. She texted Emma about it, Emma is on my side but thinks I should hear her out because we had hit it off so well. We’ve only been friends for a month but Emma says it’s not worth ruining a friendship over and we should smooth things out.
Comments
NTA
You’re not ending a friendship because she’s vegan, you’re ending it because she pushed her views onto you and made you uncomfortable.
I man that’s fair isn’t it? Don’t harm animals you love?
NTA – the problem is not that she is vegan. The problem is that she is batshit crazy
NTA
None of the vegans i have known acted like her. It’s not a vegan problem, it is a her problem.
I thought only children (under 12) orders chicken tenders in a restaurant
NTA you don’t want someone like that in your life. She would try to guilt-trip you, every chance she gets.
NTA. Good on you for blocking her. And Emma is wrong.
NTA but that’s also why I stopped eating meat. I found it hypocritical to eat things I wouldn’t kill myself. It’s a personal view though so I wouldn’t push it onto others especially while we’re already eating, unless asked about it.
NTA – Honestly the problem isn’t her being a vegan… it’s the fact that she believes to be a true animal lover you need to follow these strict things or you’re a ‘fake’. Honestly people like her are the reason why people believe all vegans are crazy people when in reality it’s not like that. She’s trying to push this rhetoric onto you all because you like to eat chicken.
Fake. Reported
As others have said, her being vegan isn’t the issue. It’s the fact that she is shoving her beliefs onto you. That’s easy enough to drop them and to never speak to them again.
NTA. You’re not ending the friendship because she’s vegan. You’re ending the friendship because she’s a bad friend.
NTA
She is an annoying thwack, like most vegans.
You don’t adore animals, she’s lucky to have lost a friend like you
Your discomfort is because you know deep down she’s right. She can’t make you feel guilty for something you know is right. It’s just a fact that you can’t love someone and pay for them to be killed, especially when you can be plant based & there are options. She clocked you & you can’t accept it
Topics that it is very wise to avoid
Religion, politics… And apparently eating chicken.
I don’t care if you’re a vegan. I don’t care if you’re religious. I don’t care if you lean to the left or right in politics. I just don’t want you to try and convert me to whatever thoughts you might have.
Live and let live really is a wise way to go through life.
Nta, your friend overreacted and wouldn’t respect you over this.
I have members of my family who are married to vegetarians and yet their partners practically eat meat all the time, and this topic is never an argument between them
NTA- how dare she try to control you and the narrative in her mind! She can F off
NTA – no one needs another vegan lording their misplaced morals and aberrant supiority complex over them.
You’re not the AH. You tried to connect, and she tried to convert. There’s a difference between sharing a perspective and shaming someone. You deserve friendships where your love for animals is honored, not questioned because it doesn’t fit someone else’s framework. Your story matters, and your boundaries are valid.
Nta – she’s a vegan like half my hairdressing clients are “Christian.” it’s a personal choice, not something you push on someone.
The problem is that she used words to shame you – she said you were a “fake animal lover.” If she had just explained her views without using accusations, I’d be okay with her as a friend. But lashing out at you like that? Nope.
Can she learn from this experience of losing a friend by shaming someone? No one knows but her. So I’d take a chance and just explain it to her, without shaming her yourself. If she responds with more accusations, etc, then I’d drop her as a friend, definitely.
NTA
So many vegans think they are superior and that everyone else is unintelligent. I call veganism a religion, because its like a religious culture where they push their beliefs onto you and won’t listen to anything that anyone else has to say.
I have no issues with people not eating meat as long as they dont have an issue with me eating meat.
She’s right. But since you don’t want to hear it, by all means end the friendship. People who love animals don’t eat them. Pretty simple
NTA. It’s not because she’s vegan, it’s because she’s a self righteous moralizer. Emma’s words are irrelevant.
NTA because it’s not that you’re not friends with her because she’s vegan, you’re not friends with her because she impugned your character. That said, I don’t know if I would block a person, that’s not my style.
I’d do more of a slow fade. But I tend to be nonconfrontational in person.
NTA. She can decide what’s right for her, but making all of these accusations, dictating how you should live your life, and calling you a bad person because she doesn’t approve of your choices does not make her a good friend. This is as true of veganism as it is of any kind of religion or philosophy. She gets to disapprove, but she doesn’t get to be a self-righteous AH about it.
NTA your not cutting her off cuz she’s vegan. The majority of vegans just go about their day and ignore what their friends eat. You’re cutting her off cuz she’s rude and pushy.
NTA She said very disrespectful things
My sister’s friend was like this–she was harassing me for eating chicken at the mall and being high and mighty about it. She wouldn’t stop so I reminded her I grew up on a farm–I ate animals I raised.from.babies and named. What made her think I’d care about a chicken I never met?
Then this bish turned up her nose at the veggie lasagna my dad made her and insisted on eating the steak he made the rest of us. Had the audacity to say that since she didn’t pay for it, it didn’t count.
And no, I swear on my life this isn’t fake. She was just this insane about this and many many MANY other things.
NTA. It’s not because she’s vegan. It’s because she’s evangelical about it. Replace the idea of vegan with any other lifestyle concept, and she sounds equally awful.
I have zero tolerance for relationships that are this difficult lol
One thing I’ve learned in life is that some people choose identities solely so they have a battle to fight. It gives their life purpose. In some ways at least it’s a good thing she picked veganism instead of transphobia or some shit. On the other hand, fuck her. NTA