We are in a relationship with my partner for 5 years, and this happened about 2 years ago. In literally every argument we have, she brings up this topic, when once I forgot about her birthday and didn’t mention it when we talked. I apologied for it countless times, but she still seems to be bothered by it.
The twist? The day before, I had to fly to a different country because I got news that my sister, (who battled cancer for a year) is very ill, and will probably die in the next few days. The next day, (my partner’s birthday), I was in the hospital with my sister all day, who later died on that day. In the evening, when we talked with my partner on the phone, I was full of emotions, so I totally forgot about it and haven’t gave her my wishes. I understand that her birthday is important to her, but isn’t forgetting it justified by the fact that one of my loved ones just died hours before that?
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We are in a relationship with my partner for 5 years, and this happened about 2 years ago. In literally every argument we have, she brings up this topic, when once I forgot about her birthday and didn’t mention it when we talked. I apologied for it countless times, but she still seems to be bothered by it.
The twist? The day before, I had to fly to a different country because I got news that my sister, (who battled cancer for a year) is very ill, and will probably die in the next few days. The next day, (my partner’s birthday), I was in the hospital with my sister all day, who later died on that day. In the evening, when we talked with my partner on the phone, I was full of emotions, so I totally forgot about it and haven’t gave her my wishes. I understand that her birthday is important to her, but isn’t forgetting it justified by the fact that one of my loved ones just died hours before that?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I forgot my partner’s birthday on the day my sister died, and haven’t gave her my wishes, which made her angry for a long time
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA in the slightest – in situations like this things like birthdays come well down the order of importance.
NTA: your partner is self-absorbed and should be understanding that you were going through an extremely difficult time and their celebration was not top of mind.
NTA
Is she 5?
OP, your partner is a CHILD! She genuinely thinks that the most “top of mind thing” when you sister just died is the day she born. The one that comes round EVERY YEAR! While your sister just died! And to top it off, she’s still bitching and moaning about it? NTA. Everyone can see who the real AH is here
NTA. Goodness. She’s weaponised you forgetting her birthday years ago because of a really fucking traumatic and devastating event.
That you repeatedly apologised for. Even though you shouldn’t have. Because a true partner would have put aside the birthday and been there for you 💯without pouting like a toddler.
She’s selfish, callous, exhausting and just plain mean.
There are lovely and kind people out there OP. Don’t waste further time on one that’s clearly not.
Break up. She is awful and a very bad partner.
You were grieving for your sister.
That’s what was in your mind at that time. Anything else was pretty far from your mind at that time. If she can’t get over that, that’s on her.
If she continues on about it, then you might want to rethink your relationship.
NTA – Is your partner 6 or 7 (oh god i can see what all the replies are gonna say)?? Leave her.
If she brings it up in every argument then tell her it would be smarter to just break up. If she can’t get over it then it’s time to move on.
NtA