I, 29(F) and my fiancé, 30(M) moved to Santa Monica a few months ago to buy our dream home which was right in a perfect neighborhood close to the beach, but he made us move back to his home town, Denver Colorado, to buy a house that was next to his mom’s. He bought the house behind my back before buying our dream home and made us pack up and move back in a week literally days before we signed to buy the house. My ex-fiancé was always obsessed with his mom, and I mean obsessed. He would call her 24/7 and keep calling her “mommy” and sometimes invite her to OUR dinners and events. He even wanted her to be my MOH at our wedding even though I already chose my best friend to be it, but he ignored me for days after I declined her being my MOH. When I first saw the house he bought next to his moms, it was worn down, the AC didn’t work, and it was in a sketchy neighborhood. His mom has always been rude to me, making fun of my accent and mispronunciation even though english isn’t my first language. Right when he bought the house and we moved in, I broke up with him. Since then, he has been begging me to come back, what do I do?
AITAH for getting for breaking up with my fiancé for turning down a house to live closer to his mom?
r/AITAH
Comments
Cease contact.
NTA. Let him go to Denver and walk away. Who needs someone going behind your back on something like a house purchase?
Mom comes before you. Simple. Therefore you did the right thing. He will always value her above you, and she will always come first. You know the answer.
It says “we signed to buy the new house”. Does that mean that you signed for the house, for the mortgage on the house?
NTA, block him. Red flags all over. You managed to avoid a minefield before it was too late.
You didn’t lose a fiancé you dodged a mama’s boy horror story with real estate receipts. Buying a house behind your back to play backyard tag with his mommy? That’s not love, that’s a lifetime subscription to third wheeling your own marriage. You did the right thing.
What a nightmare, it is NOT ok that he is making decisions like that and making major life changes for both of you without consulting you. NOPE. Leave and find someone who consults you and treats you as an equal
You wanted a home. He gave you a trap.
You wanted a partner. He gave you a man still attached to his mother.
NTA. What do you do? Tell him to marry his mommy.
NTA you should move on and stop speaking to him. He has shown a severe lack of respect for you and there is no going back from that.
Him going behind your back and buying a house is just wrong
Let him live with his mommy! NTA, and get ghost!
NTA
Tell him to crawl back into his mommy’s uterus until he’s an actual man!! Mommy’s boys never listen to their partners. Seriously, block him and forget him completely! You deserve a partner NOT a mommy’s boy too dumb to be his own person!!
It isn’t too often life gives you a clear sign.
This time it did.
No as you should have broken up long ago with his actions. Your life will be miserable with him and her. Plus you will never be able to trust him again and she will always cross boundaries
YTA for moving with him and dealing with his crap all these years.
You dodged a bullet. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Wow! Lucky you this happened now! You do what the universe is telling you to do – you RUN!!!!!! You run and you never look back
NTA. It will never get better. He is still a child and needs mommy. Return him to mommy. Someday you’ll know a real man when you meet him. Stand firm. Imagine having kids with this man-baby
Yeah… Sure.
Go back to Santa Monica and rent a room
He’s not to be trusted
Run. Do. Not. Look. Back.
You don’t speak to him again. You block him from contacting you. You block his family and friends.
You never look back. You never stay where you don’t belong.
Updateme
NTA
Tell him he needs therapy for going behind your back on his real estate purchase and upending all the plans he had made with you in order to live next to his mom.
Girl, RUNNNNN 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️‼️‼️and NEVER, EVER look back‼️‼️
You are in a throuple, and you ain’t the main chick.
If you marry him, your life will be miserable.
Move on. Save yourself and your peace.
Updateme
NTA – here’s what you do, you stay gone. He’s a mommy’s boy and he ain’t changing
Why did you marry this guy again?
oh its definitely time to escape.
NTA. He has issues which left unaddressed would turn your life to misery. Stay away!
Block the weirdo. Been there done that it did not end well for him. Boys like this always choose their mother and sacrifice you. You wised up.
Omg girl your power and willingness to stand for yourself like a fortress is a testament to us all. I wouldn’t have been able to show the same strength in your shoes. It’s truly inspirational how you immediately took a stand for yourself and your autonomy. And that mother! Ugh! Let’s just hope we can all be this strong someday.
You’re so NOT the asshole!
This can’t possibly be real. How could you even consider staying with a man who calls his mother Mommy. Please that’s pathetic. This guy showed all sorts of red flags and you ignored them all.
Tell him your playdate is over and its time for you to go home.
NTA. Leave him to his Mummy.
Cut contact and block him. He wants someone he can make his mommy and you’ll never be good enough for her. Sounds like a bad recipe.
UpdateMe
Walk away as long as he didn’t waste your money on his apron string.
I would have ended it immediately on the we’re moving to Colorado without a prior discussion.
Actually the issue with the MOH would also have been enough to end it.
Bullet dodge, go and find yourself a fully functioning adult male.
“There are worse things than being alone.” True words spoken to me back in 1986 by a wise old woman. Now I’m the old woman, don’t know how wise, but I share her words with you.
Sometimes, dumping a failing relationship is the best thing you can do.
NTA!
Best wishes, don’t look back!
“wisdom is chasing you OP, but you are too fast for it”
NTA. You did the right thing don’t you dare take him back!
NTA – do you want to live there? If you do go back, but realize the relationship he has with his mom. If you go back, then you are accepting that. If you don’t, then don’t go back or tell him you will consider it AFTER he sells that house and moves you back to where you want to live. I hope your name is not on a mortgage. I also hope he didn’t spend YOUR money. If he did, then you need to get that back.
I’m sorry. He chose his mom over you. His loss. You can do better.
NTA you don’t go back. He doesn’t respect you. He makes massive decisions without even asking you. He has no boundaries with his mother.
Run for your life.
No woman with self respect would put up with a man like that.
I’m single….. Wassup? Lol JK JK
NTA. Let him have his mommy.
You will never be good enough for them. You did the right thing…now stand tall knowing you are way better off without all that!
Nta, but “we” bought the house or was it really he? Bc you should get your portion of the Santa Monica house back since you’re on the mortgage and deed. Hell, just take over the house pmts
Nope, nope, nope!!!!
Did he steal your money to buy the house in Denver? Like were you collectively saving salaries and one pot of money and he took it all to buy a house without your permission? Because I would definitely get the police involved with that.
Even the JustNoMIL and motherinlawsfromhell reddits, with have the most incredible mommy’s boy imeshment stories, are never this over the top.
Lame.
Sounds like a Broncos fan. NTA
I hope you did not have any of your money tied up with the sucky house.
NTA.
Guess we know now why Denver is the last dinosaur.
He’s already married to his mom. You gotta decide if you want to be in a thruple where 1.5 of the other people don’t respect or prioritize you.
Ignoring the huge mommy issue for a moment, he’s a complete control freak. Derail a house purchase without talking to you, moving back to Denver without talking to you, and buying a different house without talking to you and without thinking about what you wanted in a house.
He thinks what he wants to do is the most perfect thing to do. Insufferable.
I don’t understand how did he become a fiance
If this is real, well done on seeing the light and dumping him. You would NEVER come first with him, he’s already proved that when he had a tantrum over your decision on MOH. Who has their MIL as MOH??
Tell him to enjoy his new house and his mommy! Please see this for the blessing that it was. You dodged a bullet. His mother is his priority and this is what your life would’ve been like had you married him. Enjoy your fiancé free life. You almost married a momma’s boy and that’s a recipe for disaster!
Did he spend any of your money? Get it all back, and make sure you’re not on the loan. NTA
NTA ypu dodge a bullet!
Do nothing. He doesn’t respect you and never will. Momma will always come first. Find yourself a proper man. NTA
Why is he so upset? Bright side, Mommy can now be the star in their upcoming commitment ceremony! MOH really wasn’t her first choice. You know she would have shown up wearing white!
You run and don’t look back.
to buy “our” sound more like your dream home, post sound fake…..
Stay gone! You dodged a life-long bullet!!
You go back to Santa Monica. Simple.
Someone who duplicitously buys the wrong house in another state behind your back instead of the one you agreed upon does not have your best interest at heart. Don’t take him back.
He’s going to be very lonely being married to his mummy. 🫠🤦♀️🤣 serves him right.
I would not go back with him. He clearly chooses his mom over you, I don’t see how you can build a life with someone like him.
Of course, he is begging you to come back, and will probably promise you to change, but don’t be blind, as soon as you would accept and your relationship be back on track, he would again behave as he did up to now. People unfortunately don’t change deep inside.
Walk away.
Don’t go back.
He’s never going to take you into consideration. You are the other woman in his relationship with his mom.
You mean your dream home, not his.
He never stopped breastfeeding, and likely never will. You made the right choice to walk away. He’s institutionalized with his nonsense.
No. Girl what do you mean what do you do? Keep away from mama’s boy. He bought a house behind your back a huge life decision after you two agreed to move elsewhere. His mother is disrespectful and sounds like a racist making fun of your accent and english. NOW he wants to work out things? Stay gone, you saved yourself.
You block him!
Thank goodness you broke up with him. Go live your best life without him and mummy dearest nta
Why did you pack up and move back? After finding out he bought it behind your back, that should have been the end of the relationship. NTA
You were never his fiancé. I hope you know that now.
Run, then run some more. When you collapse from exhaustion, get up again and run some more……
NTA
NTA.
As for what to do, keep living your life and enjoy your newfound freedom. You’re now able to find a partner who wants to be in a relationship with you and build a future together.
NTA
I changed my ex’s name in my phone to PITA (Pain in the butt).
I think you should change his name to “Norman Bates” and tell him to just marry his mother. LOL
It’s really hard to marry someone who’s still being breast-fed by their mother. You found that out the hard way do you really think anything will change?
NTA. Block his number, his mum’s number and all other means of contact including socials and email. Hope you moved away from Denver Colorado already and have a new job.
Never take him back.
Title makes no sense!
You get your paperwork in order. You find a new dream(house). Have fun x and congratulations on the loss of your old one.
I’m more sorry about the house!! If my dream house was stolen from under me from my partner I would scorch the earth under him
Edit: NTA
Deal with the house issue asap you dodged a volcano of red flags. Never marry a mamas boy!
How many millions of dollars does he have to buy a house in Santa Monica and then another in Denver? What does he do for a living that he can just randomly move wherever? Fake as fake can be.
Edit: and based on your post from two months ago you already live in SLC.
You made a good choice by dropping that Mommas boy. You would have never come first.
Go and find a partner, who puts you first and wants to live with Mommy.
NTA
And you still married him? And you still moved with him? YTA for not taking accountability for your choices. Him and his momma are a separate issue
NTA sounds more than just him being a mommas boy almost sounds incestuous. You dodged a bullet there
NTA Now mommy doesn’t have to just be MOH at his wedding. She can be the bride. Good you escaped that fate.
Block him.
His mommy is his wife and you’re the side piece, he just can’t have sex with the or give mommy babies – that’s what he needs you for.
You dodged a bullet.
Run like hell and don’t look back. He and his mother will ruin your life and self esteem if you go back.
UpdateMe
You dodged a bullet. NTAH. Go and live your best life, away from this nightmare of a man.
NTA
What do you do? You run! You dodged a MIL/MOH sized bullet!
Do not go back to him, you’ll regret it. And be thankful this happened before the wedding.