ok, so me (female) and my husband are both in our late twenties. We have 2 kids under 2. None of this really matters.
Here’s the issue…we joke about how I don’t know how to share because I’m an only child. My husband has no problem sharing.
I just went to Costco and somehow (like always) dropped like $400 on groceries. Frustrating but that is always the Costco dilemma and we only go like once every few months BECAUSE I end up spending like 400+ dollars!. I purchased a pack of their chocolate chunk cookies which are our favorite, two days ago. There are like 18 total cookies in a pack. Within the first day, 6 cookies were eaten. Myself eating one and my toddler eating half of 1. The rest of the 4.5 were eaten by my husband. He openly has no self control and we know this, but I didn’t say anything.
Today (3 days after the Costco trip), my husband came home from work and while I was making dinner, we gave him a box of milk duds as a treat (that I knew I wouldn’t eat and my toddler couldn’t eat, either). He ate the entire box (no judgement) but THEN he proceeded to eat a bunch of Oreos that I bought to up my milk supply (saw that on tik tok) and 2 more chocolate chip cookies!!! I told him to knock it off and he said it was insane that I’m actually mad at him for “eating food we bought to eat”. Here is my argument though: we never go to Costco. This is a special treat and I want to make it last! I share these with my toddler. I could see 1/day being normal, maybe 2 if we are getting crazy, but it’s almost fully gone and it hasn’t even been a week. It’s not that I don’t want him to eat them, I just don’t want him to eat them sooooo fast. If he eats chocolate we can buy from the grocery store down the road- have at it. I’ll make him get more when it’s done. But going to Costco is a chore and I’m the one with the card that they now make you scan and I’m freshly postpartum- going to Costco is like traveling out of state haha. It’s a chore! He got mad at me for getting mad at him- and it ending with me crying. AITAH? Also yes in hindsight I should have gotten 2 packs because I know him and his lack of self control, but come on. Costco adds up!
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Backup of the post’s body: ok, so me (female) and my husband are both in our late twenties. We have 2 kids under 2. None of this really matters.
Here’s the issue…we joke about how I don’t know how to share because I’m an only child. My husband has no problem sharing.
I just went to Costco and somehow (like always) dropped like $400 on groceries. Frustrating but that is always the Costco dilemma and we only go like once every few months BECAUSE I end up spending like 400+ dollars!. I purchased a pack of their chocolate chunk cookies which are our favorite, two days ago. There are like 18 total cookies in a pack. Within the first day, 6 cookies were eaten. Myself eating one and my toddler eating half of 1. The rest of the 4.5 were eaten by my husband. He openly has no self control and we know this, but I didn’t say anything.
Today (3 days after the Costco trip), my husband came home from work and while I was making dinner, we gave him a box of milk duds as a treat (that I knew I wouldn’t eat and my toddler couldn’t eat, either). He ate the entire box (no judgement) but THEN he proceeded to eat a bunch of Oreos that I bought to up my milk supply (saw that on tik tok) and 2 more chocolate chip cookies!!! I told him to knock it off and he said it was insane that I’m actually mad at him for “eating food we bought to eat”. Here is my argument though: we never go to Costco. This is a special treat and I want to make it last! I share these with my toddler. I could see 1/day being normal, maybe 2 if we are getting crazy, but it’s almost fully gone and it hasn’t even been a week. It’s not that I don’t want him to eat them, I just don’t want him to eat them sooooo fast. If he eats chocolate we can buy from the grocery store down the road- have at it. I’ll make him get more when it’s done. But going to Costco is a chore and I’m the one with the card that they now make you scan and I’m freshly postpartum- going to Costco is like traveling out of state haha. It’s a chore! He got mad at me for getting mad at him- and it ending with me crying. AITAH? Also yes in hindsight I should have gotten 2 packs because I know him and his lack of self control, but come on. Costco adds up!
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In the future hide half, just some things you gotta do.
This is just so incredibly petty, but your hormones are probably a little lot of wack so I would cut you some slack. Oh my God, the man has worked hard all day and he just comes home to have a few cookies. Maybe you can eat a half a cookie at the end of the day, but not many people can do that. Buy more cookies next time.
NTA. My ex was so greedy when it came to food and I could never really understand it. He grew up in a very well off household so it wasn’t like he ever had a food shortage growing up. But he had to eat everything all at once, regardless of who else was in the house.
Later, his other hoarding tendencies came out along with some other stuff. He ended up in therapy four times a week for the first couple of weeks and was diagnosed with impulse control disorder. Just something to be aware of if there are other things that go along with this.
I don’t know, but I’m the type of person who can’t just have one cookie. I’m the one who eats like 6 at a time. lol
He’s being rude. No one needs to wolf all of that down in a few days. Geez doesn’t he feel sick after inhaling all of that?
I’d tell him he gets a portion set aside. Some for him, some for you, and some for the toddler. If he eats yours you’ll either hide it all and he gets none or he can get off his ass go to Costco himself and get more.
Quick answer… hide them mf-ers. I totally get it. I very rarely buy myself anything special to eat. But when I do, I want to have it to eat when the craving hits. Whether today, tomorrow, or next week. My husband will eat anything sweet in sight. To the point that it even pisses my kids off. He once ate all the marshmallows out of my 16yo’s lucky charms!!! Anyway, even though we shouldn’t have to, we’ve all just begun hiding it.
Now that doesn’t get to the root of the issues, at all. But it works.
As an adult, being told how many cookies I could eat in my own home would be very frustrating. The whole point of being an adult is freedom, and yes that comes with some reasonable restraints to benefit society and have relationships. However, the other 95% of stuff is my life. I don’t need mommy policing my eating. I’m an adult.
Get a tupperware container, split the cookies, done
You want to enjoy the cookies at a slower pace, he at a faster pace, no need to fight about it. Just split it. Or get a pack for him and a pack for you next time.
It’s annoying and frustrating because food is expensive and you went to a lot of trouble to get it, etc, etc. My husband vacuums up food too and it left me feeling a bit of desperation. I’ve told him off for eating my cookies before and it ended with me feeling like crap and him still not caring that he ate my cookies.
I realized wouldn’t want him to chide me while I was snacking- no matter what. Now I keep anything I want for myself separate and tell him if something is just for me or if it’s for sharing. I think the solution for you next time is to separate out the cookies and keep however many you don’t want him to eat in a Tupperware in the cupboard. Set the rest on the counter and tell him “these are yours. Don’t touch the rest of them. Love you.” Maybe tonight just apologise to him for speaking rudely and give him a hug. Sounds like you could use a hug too.
Very very soon your kid is going to start noticing daddy scarfing down a dozen cookies (and a box of candy!) before dinner. Your kid will be doing what you guys show.
In the future, get the cookies and freeze them. Keep other cookies available for everyone else.
When you want a cookie, pop in the micro to warm up.
On our coscto card, we can put both of us on our membership. Look into that. Look, you’re clearly dealing with stuff and reacted poorly to this situation. Ask hubby to get more cookies. And if you really want something to last, tell him that if he eats them all, then he needs to replace them. He’s an adult. He can accept the consequences of his actions.
lol! i purposely buy stuff that my husband doesn’t eat and somehow, now, he eats it.
The cookies freeze well. Put some away, then you will have them when you want them.
When I buy those treats in bulk I leave out six and freeze the rest. Not sure if that would stop your hubby or not. In my opinion, treats should be considered 50/50 in most cases.
NTA I’ve had someone binge eat any treats any of us in the house have gotten immediately after getting them. Consistently you barely get any while they ate almost all of it unless you hide it and feel guilty for hiding food that was supposed to be shared but honestly he’s the one not sharing. Your husband is the one being selfish and incapable of sharing. What’s even more distressing is you’re freshly postpartum and he’s binging food that you’d think a good person would want to go to their hormonal and presumably emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted postpartum wife. I understand he’s presumably under a lot of stress and exhaustion as well if not just as much and obviously he should be able to eat any treats too but he’s eating way, way more than a fair amount and you’re the only one going through a not typical hormone situation of the two of you.
Just buy two packs one for him and one for you and the toddler to share.
This seems like a gluttonous husband issue way more than a you not knowing how to share issue. Add being postpartum on top of that and I think your feelings are completely valid. I would for sure buy an extra pack next time and hide them in the freezer.
I wish I could be you for 5 minutes. I would love to know what it’s like to feel victimized by someone else, especially a person that I love overindulging in cookies that we purchased together as a family. Get help.
Sounds like you need to buy hubby his own box of cookies that he can eat however he likes and then buy another for you and the kids.
Doesn’t C- have fully prepared and ready to eat veggie trays? Put those out first. Then have dinner, and then put a plate of low sugar cookies like oatmeal or almond flour cookies out. Or make some sugar free jello and cool whip that he can spluge on.
As for lecturing a husband, yeah, I would not do that.
Hide them he has no self control.
That’s hormones 🤣yeah rationing the cookies is something my mother would do when i was 5. If you need to have your own stash, then i say do it, but either tell him its not for him or hide it. Communal food is communal. Not 1 cookie per day per person.
Your perspective on normal cookie pace is not the same as his. Maybe he’d rather enjoy more while they’re fresh than ration them til they’re stale.
I’d be annoyed too, as someone who often had to hide snacks growing up because of a sibling who would eat the whole box of whatever.
Just buy more packs of snacks you all like.
My hubby will eat like this sometimes. I have to sometimes remind him if I haven’t eaten bc I’m cooking or working to leave me food so I can eat when I get a chance. He just sees food and goes at it bc he had 3 siblings and they would eat everything in sight. I now hide the things I really want to eat if I think he’s going to binge eat it. Not bc he won’t leave it for me but bc I don’t feel like saying “hey don’t eat all of these” every time I want to eat something in particular. I feel like ppl with siblings think they share more but the more siblings they have, the more hang ups they have about food.
Easy fix split them up evenly in ziplocks or containers and then he can eat his as fast or slowly as he desires.
As long as he understands not to touch anyone else’s. Don’t make him your 2nd child by policing what he eats.
Hide your cookies 🍪
Hide them in containers labeled “Shredded zucchini” and “Boiled brussels sprouts.”
NTA
That’s honestly so inconsiderate of your husband.
It’s interesting that you say you “joke” about how you “don’t know how to share because [you’re] an only child”. In my experience only children don’t seem to exhibit resource hoarding (aka hiding food) or competitive eating behaviors (aka feeling like you need to eat your portion immediately before someone else can get to it), most likely because they didn’t have other children in the house who would be their competition for desirable (but limited) foods. Has he ever done any self-reflection on his behavior?
Your husband seems to acknowledge that he has no self control when it comes to treats, but then becomes defensive when you point this out in the form of asking him to not consume all of the shared family cookies by himself. He made you cry because you wanted to make a packet of cookies last for more than a day, and maybe have a few for yourself and your children. Is that normal behavior for him?
NTA. But this is something that he needs to acknowledge seriously, rather than blowing up at you for making a big deal about him “eating food”. That is not the issue at hand, and as an adult he should be aware of that. The issue is that he is selfishly taking a limited resource (a food treat from a store you do not visit often, and which is physically difficult for you to visit as you are currently postpartum) away from his family, and then turning the argument around on you to belittle the issue and make you appear unreasonable. That is not kind, loving, or normal.
Hiding snacks or dividing into his and hers is great IF husband respects your stash. My ex would find my treats after eating all his and hide them in his truck. The only way hiding snacks worked for me is if I wrapped them like meat, labeled it “liver” or something, and put them in the bottom of the freezer. Then to retrieve the frozen snacks I had to plan ahead for when he wasn’t home. If he ever saw the way I hid snacks, the freezer wouldn’t have been an option anymore. We divorced. Him not respecting my property, my snacks showed that he wasn’t respecting me overall after some time. It was just another red flag in a bouquet of crimson.
NTA
The stuff I get for me are put away. My partner has no self control.
I bought some bounty spread and he finished it in one week. Bought two more and put them away. He had the audacity to open a new one. I told him to knock it off. I want to eat when I’m in the mood and not eat because I have to. So I found one more and gave it to him and the last one is still in my cupboard. They don’t sell them here at the supermarket.
Wow. The gluttony would make me furious. Split the stuff and ask him to keep a food diary. Or ask him to post on his socials if he is out of line eating snacks like he is an addict. I bet you he won’t because he knows deep down he is being a glutton. No one needs a whole pack of Oreos and milk duds and several cookies in one sitting.
If they are present , he’s going to
Eat them.
Yes, YATAH.
Hide in a feminine hygiene box
Sounds like someone has Type 2 in their future!
Yeah YTA. You’re food shaming your husband.
I used to hide my good chocolate at the bottom of the vegetable drawer. It was always there for me. Spouse and kids never figured it out.
My husband does this with ice cream and chips. It’s annoying. Even if I buy flavors he can’t stand, he will eat all the ice cream. Hide half in the freezer and let him eat the rest.
NTA.
If this keeps up you’ll be getting crushed by tubby’s gut and that will really be awful, get out while you can!!
I had to hide cookies and treats from my ex. Eventually I just left.
NTA
Oreo cookies don’t make you produce more milk. It also has no milk in it! It’s a plant based cream
Buy your own package. Let him finish his in his time. Then he can see how long it takes you.
Would be better as an example to the kid if he just eats a sandwich while waiting for dinner too.
If that fails ask him for a cookiejar with a lock for mothersday/birthday/anniversary
What you found out was that food science works. Those things are designed to be addictive and trigger just the right amount of dopamine so you end up eating the full pack ten minutes before dinner.
You can’t fight science. The only way to avoid shouting at your husband is to eliminate it totally
I didn’t read the whole thing but as a mom who needs her chocolate, I’d also be pissed if my husband ate my cookies or ice cream.
Is he fat? If yes just say, I am losing my desire to screw you, if no say, if you get fat I won’t screw you, if he is a skinny queen what’s the problem? #fatshamingworksommen 😉
Grow up
Learn to hide food or lock it up?
NTA I had to explain to my husband that his rate of eating treats was stressing me out because if I ate at the same rate as he did I couldn’t enjoy it, but if I ate slower I got so much less than half that I was sad and felt taken advantage of (or thought of as less than). Maybe approach it also by asking him what he thinks a fair division is, because fair isn’t always equal and equal isn’t always fair. So, once you’ve set the equity of division, divide the packs into your two containers (or three if baby gets their own) and enjoy at your own pace.
Divide the cookies
Totally understand the Costco dilemma. My wife refuses to go because it’s like going to a crowded theme park where everyone just kinda lingers in weird places.
Recommend that you buy him a pack and yourself a pack. Tuck away your treats because it can be easy to be like oh we have more! and eat everything.
You could compromise and say he will need to do the grocery trips to compensate your losses haha
I think the comments are just disgusting. Hiding food from your fully grown adult spouse. Is this the ick I keep hearing about? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying go out and file for divorce but I do have to wonder what other bullshit you put up with if he can’t even control himself around a cookie.
God. Reading this thread…some men really are greedy neanderthals.
NTA – can’t y’all just make a rule “each adult gets x number of cookies from each box and once they’re gone you don’t get more”?
NTA ~ sounds very gluttony of him (subconsciously?) like either he’s aware & feels entitled or unaware & shocked & retaliates the same way you express to him.
Like many others have said, what’s gotta be done, has to be done. Hide dem bishes. (Get real smart with it too)
I want to suggest pulling a prank by baking really salty cookies or sweets & see if he’ll eat them. But that could make him trust you less.
NAH
Your crying over it is over the top but postpartum hormones are no joke!
This isn’t about sharing or only children, it’s lack of control on his part. Now you know, you can either arrange more frequent and smaller shopping trips (have him involved in logistics), or you start storing things in a way where the long term stash is out of sight and reach – bring it out in phases.
I say this because asking someone to suddenly control impulses is a challenge. Managing their traits together is much more constructive. Can he acknowledge his habit is untenable and selfish? Then you’re at a starting point to discuss how to manage that moving forward.
If it’s the storing it out of sight and reach, make sure he doesn’t know where or has no access (lock it up in storage idk). Depends on how bad his impulse control is. It’s also better for his health, you’re getting older and those kids probably want to have a father later in life.
Also if he doesn’t the kids will pickup on the same behaviours – demolishing a pack of cookies while dinner cooks is a bad example. He has to consider what example he wants to set for the kids. Mind you I ate ice cream for breakfast way more often leading up to having my kid cause I knew I can’t do those bachelorette things after. I used to cheekily tell myself ‘my house my rules!’ before but with kids it’s their house too…Dad needs to see that. And it shouldn’t be on you to police him or raise him too.
I have to hide snacks in my own home because my husband has no self-control around sweets lol I’m laughing but it’s literally so annoying. A couple packs of candy that would last me a few weeks, he’ll plow through in a day or so. I just removed some cookies from my online cart specifically bc I knew I wouldn’t get any so why bother. I have to hide Red Bull too. I call him Crumb when he does all this.
Edit bc I thought it was a AITA post lol
If you have a suitcase with a lock, put anything you don’t want him to eat in there and store the suitcase in a closet somewhere. Freezing won’t work; I’m like your husband and treats taste great frozen.
Can’t believe people argue about such stuff. Just take the cookies you want or want to keep for children and place them out of sight. My husband learned years ago one that I can’t resist chocolate. If he wanted some he put them in his bedside drawer. I never touched them when he did so.
Wait a minute! Oreos to increase breast milk???? Chocolate has substances that cause babies to be fussier, sleep less, and (I think) be gassier than usual. Chocolate was one of the things I remember the La Leche rep telling me to skip or only eat in very small quantities when my babies were nursing. Besides, who would get their parenting info from TicToc?
I would divorce him if i were you
I’m a bit like your husband, in that I tend to like to eat my tasty treats in one or two goes for maximum joy, and I don’t like having to be careful or keep count over a long time. My mom prefers to make things last, so it aggravates her and stresses her out that I’m the opposite. So in compromise, I eat my share of whatever food, and then no more, until we get more and start over. We all get an equal amount, but also get to eat it the way we prefer.
It’s really damn rude to just greedily eat the majority of anything, unless it is specifically bought for you to do so. NTA
Buy more cookies for gods sake. What a silly thing to blow out of proportions and make an issue out of.
You obviously are not broke since you can spend 400 dollars on one shopping trip, so just buy more cookies when you go to Costco. And keep one or two packs hidden so you can have some cookies safe from your husband when he (obviously stoned and having the munchies) wolfs down a whole pack at a time.
Your husband needs to learn self control, end of story. Sounds like you, an only child, is so much better at sharing than he is while he hoards everything. In my house (me, husband, and son) we evenly divide things and keep track of how much of our share we eat. *And we don’t eat the other people’s portion.* Here’s the funniest part: All three of us are only children!
If all you said was “knock it off”, you’re the AH. He isn’t a mind reader. You had reasons in your head, but did you communicate like an adult person?
Are you sharing the membership with someone else? If not, you can add him as a household member. He needs to take a turn.
I have this exact same problem, and I solve it by taking my portion of whatever we bought and hiding it where he can’t possibly find it. Problem solved and then I always have a cookie if I want one.
NTA when these things have to last and be shared. Your husband was being a bit greedy in that respect. You should have bought 2 or more packets and given one to greedy guts and kept one (hidden) for you and the toddler. That way hubby is satisfied and can’t scoff your share.
What a bizarre thing to be upset about
Take half the Costco cookies and fr eze them. You can eat them when you like.
Don’t tell your husband, he’s a greedy pig.
My husband can’t keep Nutella in the house. His jar can last a month but with me around it’s gone in a week. I CANT help it. However, I did come up with solutions. He keeps it at work now and I always bake him banana bread to snack with it.
If you’re buying all that food and he’s just eating it, that’s super gross bec he’s supposed to provide for you, yet he’s just eating all the snacks u got for u and the baby. His reaction (getting angry) and his inability to see how that’s affecting you makes him a bad husband imo. He should feel guilty. He sounds emotionally immature and selfish
I got a lock box for my snacks/ treats!
You have to hide that’s what I do or portion it out and note it as for your toddler or yours lunch / snacks for the week. My husband will eat an entire box of crackers – his and mine! My son and I only eat whole grain which he doesn’t like but he eats them anyway.
Buy more food in the future and don’t regulate what others eat because it becomes a thing. Send him to Costco if need be.
I find it funny that the person eating the most of the food is calling the other person selfish for wanting a more fair share…
Husband and I both eat tons of food so I can’t judge him but sometimes can’t keep up so I have my own stash of snacks sometimes
Don’t buy big packs of sweets at Costco. Buy yourself a 1 or 2 pack of cookies once in a mile for yourself if you want. If he’s not overweight and unhealthy already, he will be soon. Don’t contribute to his eating problem.