My bf told me he cheated on me so I’m in Italy right now to clear my head. When he told me, I took a day or two to think then I booked a ticket and left a few days later. Now I’m in Italy and he says I’m being crazy and irresponsible.
I feel like I just need some space and yes we did talk about going later this year but didn’t have anything booked or reserved, it was just a conversation. I was just so angry that I wanted to get away and go myself.
Anyway he says it’s super messed up that I flew across the world without him especially before giving him a chance to explain. I just think what’s there to explain, there’s no way to justify it.
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Meh, you’re processing the grief in your own way. It’s a little VERY hypocritical of him to call you irresponsible when he was the one who cheated.
Take your time, go back, and… I think you could talk to him to get some closure—in case you decide not to go back to him.
You’re NTA! He cheated. You didn’t force him to do that. You needed time away and to be alone. You chose to take a vacation and enjoy your time away from everything
As long as you are in a financial position to go to Italy I really don’t see why this would be wrong. Enjoy your vacation, clear your mind and make from that BF an ex BF because you deserve better than someone you apparently can’t trust!
NTA, fuck him. Have fun in Italy and dump him when you get back. There is no such thing as “explaining why you cheated”.
NTA – if he’s truly sorry, he’d accept this instead of making you feel bad about it and, worse, trying to make you question your mental health.
Block him and let off steam with stunning sights, wonderful people, delicious foods, fun experiences, and world-class wines!
He’s telling you you’re being crazy and irresponsible after HE cheated?! I can tell what type of guy he is. Selfish AH. Take time out for yourself, it’s the least he can do to leave you alone right now. Message back to tell him he’s no longer your boyfriend so has no right to tell you not to go away. You’ll talk when you’re home and when you’re ready.
Maybe he was running late naked, was in a rush, tripped and fell into a vagina. 🤷♀️ That would explain everything.
Why does his opinion matter to you? You don’t care what he has to say about the cheating so why do you care what he think of what you did next after finding out about it?
Why are you posting this ??
NTA
That’s got to be DARVO if I ever heard it. As if he did nothing wrong and it is all your fault. I hope you make them an ex.
You have the responsibility and the right to protect your own peace of mind. If that means pampering yourself with a nice solo vacation to clear your mind and think things through, good for you! It’s a right thing to do!
Please do not listen to this delusional, selfish person.
Look, he cheated on you. He doesn’t get to tell you how to process that. As long as the trip doesn’t impact him financially, he really shouldn’t have a damn thing to say about it. TBH, he should be HAPPY that you left, bc it’s a pretty good vet that you’ll come back in a much better mood than you were in when you left!
NTA. I would tell him that there’s nothing to explain. He cheated, and our relationship is over, but for the moment, I needed to get away from him. Do you live together? Who’s the one who’s going to be moving out? If it’s him, then I’d tell him that while I’m gone, he should pack his stuff.
NTA. Your boyfriend doesn’t get to tell you what’s what after he just fucking admitted to cheating on you!
Op one thing I learned in therapy is that the people who hurt you don’t get to decide how you deal and address the hurt. They loss those privileges.
What’s super messed up is his cheating on you. Then, he has the audacity to judge how you’re reacting to his infidelity. He can effing wait as long as it takes to “explain” you do you.
NTA.
What is there to explain? He cheated? You can’t justify those actions. I’d tell him that you are out here having fun and a good time and you need his cheating ass to stop whinging at you.
I’d break up when you get back.
He revealed that he is deep down a narcissist, and he’s making your trip (your time to get some space and gather your thoughts) all about him, instead of what you need. Because his needs are the priority. When he explains why he decided to cheat, he won’t take accountability and it will be your fault. He wouldn’t have been tempted if you hadn’t… excuse excuse excuse.
If you break up with him you will start to see all of the little things he did, that you looked past at the time because you loved him, come together to form a picture you were too close to focus on. Once you step back you will see the selfish person he has been and you’ll be relieved you didn’t waste any more time with him.
If you cheat back YTA
End it
Yeah, let Cheater Man tell you what you’re doing wrong. What’s the explanation? He was walking down the street and his penis fell into her vajayjay?
NTA
NTA. Enjoy your you time and reset. At this time your cheating boyfriend will do and say everything to umdermind you.
Are you able forgive and forget, do you really would want to?
This is you time, enjoy it, see what, who you would sharing your life with. Good luck, hope you love Italy.
If you are still referring to him as bf and not ex then you’re nta just an idiot
NTA
ROFL 🤣 explain…. we all know the train goes into the tunnel right? Oboy
LMAO why he think he deserve a vacation for cheating 😭👎🏼 girl u nta break up nd move on unnecessary deserve much better
Lol he is probably thinking you would have funded his trip as well and regret confessing about his infidelity
Don’t tell him when you are flying back and move on without him
His reaction just reinforced how much of a fn douchebag he is.
Cheaters are typically assholes as well
Enjoy the trip
100000% NTA
There is nothing to explain. There is no excuses to cheating. He is trying to mess with your mental health. What would you tell to your friends or sister if a man did this to her ?
Girl there is No Mistake.
He puted his D in the V of someone else it’s not something you do by accident. And before this stage, you Kiss have intimity. It’s NOT A MISTAKE it’s a choice. A fraction of seconds can be a mistake but not 30minutes or 2 hours. I bet he is still cheating while you are in italy lol. He is mad because he is afraid of you doing the same thing as he is. Don’t be stupid respect yourself and leave him. Thanks.
Look. The reality is that, sadly, you won’t leave him. Respectfully, leaving someone you love takes a lot of courage and strength which you lack ( not judging just assessing your comments)
It’s up to you to waste 3 more years on someone who disrespects and cheats on you. The reason why he is so mad you left alone is because he thinks you’ll cheat on him as revenge and he can’t take that.
YTA to yourself because is not just the cheating but also how he reacts to your need for healing. He’s a selfish, terrible man. And you will forgive him . Which is sad because he will hurt you again
Good for you! Why are you even chatting with him when you are in Italy? Have some fun!
Who cares if he’s angry?