EDIT: I think we are both ok now. She did apologise to me some time ago. Might not be engaging here anymore but a small update she says she’ll be mindful of her tone next time. I am not convinced yet but let’s see if her actions line up with her words this time. Nothing else from my side we are just going to get by as parents and hopefully when our baby is a bit more further along we should get better. Thank you all for the feedback and for those who weren’t so civil I hope you have the day you deserve :))
My wife started experiencing a ton of hair fall around the midpoint of her pregnancy. It got a bit better recently, but in the meantime, it completely clogged our shower drain. On top of that, we’ve had some ongoing plumbing issues.
She’s now postpartum and home with our baby. I work 60–70 hours a week and travel often. I try to make her life easier where I can like sending in cleaners every 4–5 weeks, taking over nights when I don’t have work early the next day, doing small fixes here and there.
We’re both stressed. I don’t see our roles as competing as both are hard in different ways. But I’ve noticed she lashes out at me a lot lately. I try not to take it personally.
Last week, I had a rare lighter workload. I decided to snake the drains (Drano wasn’t cutting it anymore) and also fixed a kitchen pipe leak. I wasn’t thinking of it as a “favor” to her (she’s a SAHM btw). She’s even talked about replacing the pipes because of the shower issues, so I figured I could solve the problem without that expense and be more “useful”.
She came home from grocery shopping, tired and sweaty. I was genuinely excited to tell her because I knew she’d been frustrated about the shower (and she loves long hot showers). I was smiling and said, “Guess who stayed home and fixed some problems today?”
Her face dropped, and she just said, “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Do you want a gold star now?”
I was floored. I told her I didn’t appreciate her tone and that maybe this was more of a “you” problem than me being a bad partner. She got defensive and said I sounded like I was fishing for praise.
I told her I wasn’t looking for a gold star, just basic decency and a little appreciation. I added (out of frustration) that the fact she can’t or won’t offer that decency is very telling not just about her but about me too because I am allowing myself to be spoken to that way. Because I chose to marry her and make her the mother of my child. Like do I even respect myself if I let my wife be this dismissive and vicious towards me?
She teared up and told me what I said was messed up. I told her I’ve felt this way for a long time, because of how she speaks to me, and I’m at a point where I’m not willing to tolerate that anymore.
Comments
Wanting appreciation for showing up doesn’t make you weak it means you’re human, and being taken for granted hurts, no matter who you are.
she’s likely overwhelmed and going through a lot emotionally and physically from postpartum. it doesn’t excuse hurtful words, but it might explain the lashing out. you both need support and kindness right now, not blame.
It sounds like both of you are under immense stress, and that comment might have been a breaking point for a lot of bottled-up frustration. You’re not wrong for wanting basic appreciation, and it’s okay to ask for kindness in how you’re spoken to. Hopefully this opens up a conversation where both of you can feel more heard.
Don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to say thank you. Yes it’s your drain to. Doesn’t take away from you fixed it. If the baby did this to her maybe arrange a sitter a day a week so she gets a break
postpartum can be really intense, hormone shifts, sleep deprivation, and the stress of caring for a newborn can make anyone feel overwhelmed. it’s not about you, even if it feels personal.
Show appreciation to receive appreciation
Rage bait.
Newish mum had to do food shopping on her own while he does ‘manly’ things and expects BJ on her return. Recieves appropriate sarcasm.
“Yes, I ABSOLUTELY expect at least some recognition for having solved a mess YOU made for being utterly unable to use a sink sieve when you shed like a cat in autumn!” I wouldn’t have minced my words.
Also: if she insists on “you duties”…. guess who is on night duty from now on with the baby?
That’s mother duties.
One and the other is utter bullshit. Do get me right!
In a modern couple things should be equal and whoever DOES a thing deserves recognition for it.
The more so if that intervention of yours spared her a massive inconvenience of drain replacement, noise, dirt in the house.
She sounds like she’s exhausted and hormonal and she probably feels bad about herself which is why she lashed out on you.
If this was a one time thing, I would say you’re overreacting for saying that you won’t tolerate this anymore. You did say that you’ve been feeling this way for a long time, so what has happened before?
You don’t have to stay silent, but you do have to be patient. Every couple has problems but it should be you and your partner against the problem, not you and your partner against each other.
I suggest some couples therapy and making date nights alone a frequent thing for a while. Pregnancy is rough, postpartum is rough, all of it is rough for you and her. You’ve had a major change in the last year, she’s probably insecure and lashing out paired with the stress is basically a ticking time bomb. I understand wanting to feel appreciated and how she reacted was wrong. But please give therapy and nights alone a chance before you completely cut your losses. Even complimenting her once a morning could help
everyone likes to feel seen, especially when they’re trying their best. she’s probably super overwhelmed right now, but your feelings still matter too.
I’m sorry… must have missed the part where it said you brought in and put away all the groceries while she (still working!) Tended to the infant. Then you thanked her profusely for caring for your baby and shopping at the same time and always taking care of the home. And THEN told her you unclogged the drain. Wow. Hard day right there for ya. Have a cookie
Oh. Wow.
YTA in multiple ways. Before I get into that, yes. Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Your disappointment makes complete sense. However, you are still TA for the following reasons:
SHE JUST HAD A BABY, FFS. Her hormones are all over the place, she could very well be suffering from depression. She is not okay, and that would be easier for you to see if you did not…
leave her alone for up to 70 hours a week.
When you get home from work, do you take care of the baby? Or is she on 24/7?
She is sleep deprived and likely still physically recovering. Newborns are hard. And you are CHOOSING to overwork. You should tell your boss that there’s too much work for one person. You could search for another job. Your inability to maintain boundaries at work is killing your wife, your marriage, and your chance to be a good dad to your child.
“Because I chose to marry her and make her the mother of my child.” What the F. Have you always treated her as if she has no agency or self-determination? She didn’t have any say in being your wife? All the power was in your hands, like you were choosing a brood mare or something? This sentence says a lot about you.
“Like do I even respect myself if I let my wife be this dismissive and vicious towards me?”
The word “let” comes up again, as if you have the right to control her. As if she is an object, a brood mare, a thing to be controlled. Gross. She is her own person, AH. You don’t get to control other people. She’s not your slave.
Have you considered why she is lashing out at you? Does she resent how she carries so much of the load without any appreciation? Do you appreciate all she is doing for you and the baby every single day? The meals, laundry, vacuuming, dishes, diaper changing, breastfeeding or bottle making, grocery shopping and the rest of it? How do you show your appreciation? It sounds like she feels underappreciated and taken for granted. If that’s the case, can’t you see why she reacted so poorly when you demanded your gold star?
And again, when you get home from work, do you take care of the baby? Or is she on 24/7? If you aren’t parenting- changing the diapers, holding the baby when it cries, and so forth- you are not acting like a true partner. You are behaving as if she is meant only to serve. If you aren’t helping with what hasn’t been done yet- dishes, folding laundry, etc.- without being asked, you are not acting like a partner. And that will leave her feeling taken for granted.
If you hired someone to do everything she does (which, having done each, makes the 70 hr/week job laughable) who would be the bigger earner? I just know YTA because of bringing up her hair loss. Literally nothing to do with anything. You’re so convoluted, bro
Good for you! Don’t let her or anyone disrespect you.
I don’t even see what would be wrong about “fishing for praise”
As long as you are not being insecure about it ofc
But surely I want to tell my partner of something I did for us and I want him to be happy about it? And when he does something for us I’ll express appreciation as well of course
Like why even be partners when you don’t even want to appreciate the other
Nta – whilst you’re both under stress she should be hugely appreciative that she’s a SAHM. Appreciation is free, and usually the most potent fuel for a man to continue to go and do the hard things that allow a woman to stay at home. I had an ex who refused to give any appreciation and she said she did this intentionally so I wouldn’t get lazy. That’s tantamount to manipulation so I wonder if there’s a little nugget of that within your wife. Ps I thought that ex was going to be the one but MY GOD the relief I felt when I left her was pure elation
Just remember that words can’t be taken back and sometimes it’s better to approach things in a different manner. Is there any way your mom or
hers can come stay for a while and maybe help
with the newborn? maybe dad or sister instead.
Send in a cleaner every single week. Not every 4-5 weeks. Just a little point. I hope she has other help, like her mum or female friends/family helping her. You are pracrically never there if you work that much. She is probably overwhelmed every day. I know you try, but try harder. If she is not appreciating your efforts 1 year later, then talk about it. Just give her some grace now.
so busy defending this immature and mean outburst from your wife they cant even say you NTA
I understand your frustration and it doesn’t excuse her words. It does sound like she feels underappreciated and like everything is falling on her shoulders. To be fair she just returned from grocery shopping and probably feels undervalued already, and you’re there asking for thanks. It’s ok to ask but you likely need a convo about her general feelings about the mental and emotional load.
NTA thanking you partner in a relationship helps keep it strong. It stops the other person feeling taken for granted and over looked. How hard is it to say thank you?
YTA. Sorry. If you wanted to help, you wouldn’t draw her attention to it. Does she tell you that she cleaned up the kitchen one day instead of the cleaning service? Doing the task around the house shouldn’t be cause for celebration. I used to think in a similar fashion before I realized that being an adult gets no congratulations.
Also, at no point did you need to mention her hair loss. Say the drain is clogged.
Are you TA for fixing the drain? Of course not, and it would have been nice if your wife had been more appreciative, BUT…
If you are working 60-70 hours a week, that means your wife is on duty for that time, alone with the baby and keeping the house running. That is EXHAUSTING! She doesn’t get lunch breaks or coffee breaks. It’s basically like being a single parent. When mine were that age, if I was sick (not with anything infectious, obviously!), I’d go to my part time job instead of staying home because it definitely the easier option compared with staying at home with the kiddos.
You say you help at night, but only if you don’t have to get up early the next day. But does that mean she has to do the nights and then get up early with the baby the next morning? (If I could get mine to sleep past 6am, it was a miracle!)
Do you also give her the same appreciation for taking care of your (plural) child all day that you expect for cleaning the drain? If you swapped roles and you had to do the child care for 70 hours a week, I guarantee it would give you a whole new perspective.
I think having a newborn is the hardest time for any relationship, and it’s really easy to become competitors rather than team mates, because you both are so exhausted. You both will have to work hard to intentionally be there for each other to make this work. I could be wrong about this, but it sounds as if you do not fully understand how exhausted your wife is.
Could she have been nicer about the drain? Sure. But maybe you could also show your wife some grace? The poor woman is probably running on fumes. Rather than getting offended, maybe you need to sit down with her and ask her WHY she made that comment – where is it coming from, and what is she irritated about? And listen to what she says. It sounds as if she’s feeling disappointed with you too, and you need to come together and figure this out as team mates, work out how to support each other both practically and emotionally. Don’t let resentment set in for either of you because it’s a slow-infecting poison in a relationship.
I’m tempted to say you’re mildly TA for being a bit oblivious but dealing with a new baby is HARD, so I don’t think either of you is TA.
YTA. You went on and on about how much you work but she’s a stay-at-home mom. That, by the way, is a tougher job. It’s 24/7/365 for 18 years. She can’t go in your child’s room and tell her she can’t be mom today because she is taking a sick day!
You don’t “help out” with your own child. It is called PARENTING and you are reaponsible for half of it regardless of how many hours you work. You seem to think that you work a regular job, so now hers is all the child care but you will “kindly” “help out” now and then. Nope, dad.
Your wife was right. Fixing that IS your job.
You expected to be lavished with praise, patted on the head and cuddled for fixing something in your own house. Do you praise her every time she changes a diaper or cooks?
There’s a particular way she is supposed to speak to you? I feel sorry for your kids because you are going to beca dictatorial, authoritarian, controlling parent is you treat YOUR WIFE like a child.
Time to be a man.
Did you thank her for doing all that shopping with a newborn in tow? Or did you just see it as something she was meant to do?
Look at it from her perspective: you’re working long hours, yes, but what allows you to do that is her working 24-7 for no pay looking after your child and home. Do you thank her for all the hard, difficult, boring jobs she does every day? Or do you just see them as things she’s meant to do?
It’s incredibly frustrating when a woman is running the home and baby/children and the man does just one or two tasks and expects praise and thanks. Because the message there is: you’re meant to be an unpaid servant, whereas I’m a real and important person who deserves acknowledgement for any little thing I do.
OP , unfortunately many bitter people here are putting you down. The honest answer is if this was the other way round and her posting this (roles reversed), they’d jump down your throat saying YTA. You know you arnt TA so don’t ask people on Reddit as I tend to find it swings one way massively
Do you tell her you appreciate her?
How do you react when she tells you that she’s had another sleepless night? How do you react when she prepares a meal?
The gold star comment probably had more to do with how unappreciated she feels than anything else. I’m betting you don’t give her “basic decency and a little appreciation” for the daily work she puts in to take care of a baby & a household.
NAH.
Both of you are exhausted and tired. I get that you feel really unappreciated by your wife. And there’s only so much of lashing out by her that you can take.
I advise you and your wife to go for marriage counseling to work things out. Are you able to get a nanny to help your wife with the baby?
Man, you’re just getting pummeled with these comments. I kinda hate that for you. You’re NTA. Furthermore, she is 100% TA, and owes you an apology.
As to some of the particularly entitled commentary, here’s my take. Let’s start with “they are your pipes too”, the “golden medal” comment. My guess is that both of you wanted that baby, am I right? So, any argument claiming that she is “raising your baby” is BS. It’s her baby too. Does she want a golden medal?
The postpartum thing is definitely a thing. And deserves appropriate amount of leeway. An occasional frustrated jab is understandable, as long as it is eventually followed by an apology. And I don’t mean a couple months down the line, I mean, within a couple of hours. If this becomes a continuous unapologetic trend, then it’s just raw disrespect. So, good for you, standing up to her. If she refuses to treat you with decency and respect, move out. No more sending cleaners, no more anything beyond your obligation to the baby. Let the courts figure out what she deserves out of you. Trust me, no matter how much it is, your peace and sanity is worth way more.
Of course it will be spun around on you, neglectful, cruel, blah blah bs. When it does, remind her gently that all you asked of her is to be nice. She chose the opposite. So be it.
Edit to add: I left this comment over an hour ago, and all you can come up with is 14 measly downvotes? Come now, I know it’s early, but put a little enthusiasm into your unsubstantiated ire. Or don’t. I just remembered that I don’t care. Have a wonderful day!
YTA: You mentioned she is postpartum. Do you expect her to act any differently? Sure she could have been appreciative but mood swings aren’t like that. Nor are they controllable — manageable but not controllable. The problem was you looking to her for validation. You simply can’t rely on people to give you a response you think you deserve.
Then you said: “won’t offer that decency is very telling…mother of my child…” so now you’re bringing the baby into this—when she’s postpartum…that’s just a bit cruel. Was she rude—sure, did she handle that in a healthy way? No it was toxic. Did you need to make that comment? Absolutely not. I know you’re stressed and overwhelmed but she’s not the one causing that—needing to work 60 hrs a week to have a basic standard of living is the problem. So yes, YTA, because you’re expecting someone else to perform kindness knowing they’re in a vulnerable state. You gotta go to therapy or learn more about the symptoms if you want things to change. The only thing you can control is your own actions.
I think you both need to sit down and apologize. You’re both in the trenches and you both responded poorly. Hormones aren’t an excuse to be mean but they do make regulation hard. So does being exhausted working 60+ hrs a week. So it seems you both just need to sit and admit that you’re both struggling and find out what the other needs for support right now. Ask her how you can best support her in ways she needs and share the same of your needs. These needs to be conversations you have now. Fighting each other while you’re on the same team with the same goal is just silly. I hope the best for your family. Those early days are haaaaard.
There is nothing more exhausting that looking after a baby day and night and it changes you physically and mentally, the sheer amount of crying a mum does in those first few years is astounding. It’s incredibly lonely and can completely mess with your sense of self.
The fact that she made that comment is a sign she feels the physical, emotional or psychological burden is not being shared equally and it came out in that bitter response.
It could be as simple as you having the luxury to choose to fix the pipes, choice is one of the first things you lose as a primary parent and no one warns you about that.
You guys need to have a chat about how you are coping with your workloads.
Does she ever say to you, “Guess who looked after the baby all day today after two hours sleep?”
Of course not, because she’s getting on with her duties. What you said came off as fishing for praise. If you’d just said “I had some downtime today and cleared the drains, so let me know if you see an improvement” that would’ve been fine.
Has your wife been evaluated for PPD/PPA? It doesn’t excuse her snapping at you like that but it could be the cause. PPD can develop even 6 months after birth and she really won’t begin to feel like herself again until about a year postpartum. It might be time to have her talk to her doctor or a therapist that specializes in postpartum.
You’re both dealing with a lot right now, having a newborn is incredibly difficult and stressful. Both of you need to give each other a little more grace
Edit to add: sleep deprivation will also make someone irritable as hell. How is baby sleeping?
How old is your baby?
She works round the clock. She also recovering from a major medical event. A cleaner every 4-6 weeks and you fix stuff and sometimes parent your child at night? Wow. You really are entitled aren’t you?
lol she did apologize to me ‘some time ago.’ AKA I was just karma farming this whole time and it had already been solved. What a weirdo
We have this unspoken rule with my wife where we say “thanks for doing x” for basically everything no matter whose “job” was that. It shows that you acknowledge the other’s efforts.
It goes a long way and it feels really good.
Yta, man up baby. My stressed post partum wife was terse. Poor me! Gross.
NTA, anyone would snap after constantly putting up with such attitude from a spouse. To have a healthy relationship, both partners need to show appreciation.
When she came in did she say “Guess who got all hot and sweaty to buy you groceries!” And wait for your praise and excitement? No? Cause she’s doing what needs to be done. Just like you did. Yes, we all want to feel appreciated. But you picked a bad time to look for praise. YTA
Please also ensure your wife has her thyroid checked. It can cause hair loss ans tiredness amongst other things.
So my wife and I are, and have been in a very similar situation in the recent past. Down to the traveling and all. We made the mistake of thinking a newborn was the right time for to go back to school.
It sounds like there’s a bit of resentment built up on both sides. It feels like she’s getting a nap while you slave away, and she feels like she’s slaving away while you go chill in a hotel room sleeping through the night. It helped us to keep a loose log of hours worked. So “actual” work, dishes, travel, heard, feeding the baby, so on. Total labor time invested into the household, paid and unpaid. It helped us to realize the other person isn’t just “slouching around”. No, not every thing to do with a baby is as hard as my job and vice versa, but there are definitely pros and cons to both. MAKE SURE that if you do choose to do it, you approach it in a way that you want to make it fair to everyone, so making sure we can both see the others contribution helps.
We ran into an issue where I worked like a 14+hr day, then had to travel internationally home the following. In a highly technical field, it’s difficult to talk about my job and the troubles I have without going into extreme depth, so talking to her about it, with a baby is quite challenging. Anyway, as you can imagine, a long day like that was tough, and with time zones and messed up sleep, I was exhausted. She said something like “enjoy your time in the hotel, I’m jealous and might need a weekend”, and I lost it. I was averaging something like 90-100hrs a week between work and home. The difference was she was doing a lot more at night which was fucking her up. Even longer story short, seeing it written out made me appreciate the naps she took, and it made her realize I wasn’t slacking and was sacrificing a lot for the family.
Also, the best thing we did for our marriage, each other, and ourselves; sleep training. I cannot express to you the godsend a full nights sleep was the first time we successfully got him through the night. Please do it for you guys.
YTA! Cleaners every 4-5 weeks, are you kidding? How often do you thank your wife/show appreciation?
And of course you have been fishing for compliments, you entitled brat.
YTA. Why not just inform her what you did without fishing for praise? But I guess this is ragebait. Nobody is this dense
Ugh, men who beam with pride as they inform their wives that they actually did something around the house. Like children. Ugh. Also a smug little “have a nice day” chirp at the end of your update. Your poor wife.
YTA.
Echoes of my father expecting praise for mowing the lawn once a month,. or cooking dinner once in a blue moon. How often do you acknowledge and thank her for the endless work of maintaining a home and looking after a child, basically on her own if, as you claim you are doing 60 to 70 hour weeks and travel. Cleaners less than once a months isn’t gonna make a giant dent in that work . Big whoop you snaked a drain and occasionally take responsibility for your own child if you aren’t working the next day.
Newsflash – your wife is working every day and most nights looking after your child and home. On the nights you are working the next day (which .if you are being honest about your work hours) almost every night, she still has to look after the child during the night and get up and look after the child a
the following day.
She makes one overtired remark and you react like the sky is falling in. Hey, by the way, did you greet her with joy and gratitude when she returned home tired and sweaty with the groceries, or just expect immediate praise from her for staying home and doing a minor house hold chore?
YTA.
Read the post and comments, now you are a bigger A-hole, but that is a topic you don’t want to hear about, because it doesn’t put you on the pedestal you think you deserve.
So, I’m an old married woman and my husband does this thing where he expects praise for doing usual household stuff that I do as a matter of course. I don’t expect anyone to recognize what I’m doing because it’s just part of adulting. Your wife is exhausted and probably feels like shit due to her pregnancy. It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation for her reaction. Just do your thing without asking for awards for being an adult.
You choose to work 70 hour weeks. You have your own business.
You have a new baby and do very little for the child.
You both need rest. And you need an attitude adjustment if you want this marriage to last.
You’re literally are acting like you did this for her, when you are supposed to be an equal partner.
“I get a cleaner once a month”, that doesn’t help keep a home clean. You want to ACTUALLY help her, twice a month cleaners.
It sounds like, from her reaction, that you usually act like everything within the scope of the home is her job because she’s home with the baby.
It’s your job, too.
So, do you want a fucking gold star for stepping up and doing your job? Or are you looking for a cookie? Or a party?
Yall are wild you don’t see the divide here. Can definitely tell who had babies with useless assholes in this thread. The projection is so hard you all should be in group therapy together. 😅
Her “tone of voice”? Oh, sweetie, nooo. She’s your wife and mother of your child, not a teenage girl you can reprimand.
She came home from grocery shopping, tired and sweaty. I was genuinely excited to tell her because I knew she’d been frustrated about the shower (and she loves long hot showers). I was smiling and said, “Guess who stayed home and fixed some problems today?”
I mean, she was out grocery shopping, so where is her gold star? Where is her praise and her thank you? Do you say thank you to her every time you come home from
work?
I’m sure you are trying your best, but verbal gratitude is expressed best by those who are also verbally appreciated.
NTA.
I’m glad you stood up for yourself, and that she finally apologized.
Karma farming rage bait.
Your account was only made today.
I got a drain cover on Amazon that suctions onto the drain and makes it much easier to gather the hair. Legit I just take my toe and sweep it around the thing once then grab some TP and toss it. Might be useful to prevent future problems
YTA based on reading more into your post and lack of ability to take criticism. Don’t ask the question if you didn’t want to be called an ass.
You have failed to answer the very simple question: have you been complimenting her for maintaining the home and raising the baby while you are out? It’s a yes or no question, but have been defensive about it whenever asked. If you haven’t, then there’s the source of frustration! She most likely feels underappreciated. Have you been active in raising this baby, aside from occasional night duty and prep work? I mean ACTIVE active, as in having your wife enjoy a hobby/activity while you are watching, playing, feeding, etc this tiny human. If not, then she’s working overtime to maintain the home and baby and would be frustrated over this as well. You gotta do some more empathetic retrospection.
She went grocery shopping with a newborn. You deserve praise, she deserves a medal. Your job is 60-70hrs, hers is 24/7. You did a great thing!!! But you had a lighter workload this week that enabled it. When does her workload get lighter??
You’re both working hard, you’re both stressed, you’re both tired, you both deserve praise and thanks. But she’s also recovering physically from birth, and also operating on hardly any sleep, and her “job” is new and overwhelming while yours is probably something you’re already good at.
I’m guessing she’s really struggling and needs more support. If you’re already maxed out and can’t give her that, you need to talk together to find a solution – maybe a friend/family member to babysit regularly, or a cleaner, or do the groceries online and get them delivered etc etc.
Also, look into post partum depression and see if your wife ticks any of those boxes. She might need professional help too.
Maaaaaybe NAH.
What she said wasn’t nice. But comments like that stem from much deeper issues (exhaustion, PPD, inequality of mental load etc) that you need to address rather than just blaming her for being a meanie.
YTA, you are supposed to help around the house. She can’t pee without worrying about a whole other human. She can’t go shower, feed herself, etc, without worrying about a whole new little human. You are supposed to help. You win no prizes for pulling your half of the household duties.
YTA
You chose to do a chore that you wanted to do, that she didn’t ask for, wasn’t required that day, and you mention explicitly that you did it“not as a favour”. And you’re mad because she didn’t react like you had done her a favour?
You say you were excited to tell her because she loves long showers. I’m sure you love eating food, but you don’t mention thanking her for picking up the shopping.
Sounds like you treated her the same way she treated you… but for some reason you’re cross about it?
You think you’re just amazing 🤣
“I added that the fact that she can’t offer me that decency is very telling because I chose to make her the mother of my child”.
Sounds like your wife’s got two babies to look after.
It sounds like you really did expect a gold star and you’re throwing a tantrum because you didn’t get one. YTA and your edit makes you sound even more so.
YTA. And your edit makes it so much worse.