Hi, assistant theater manager here. This happened tonight, and it really upset me so I put it before the crowd.
A guy came out of a theater and complained that there was a young child screaming occasionally during a showing of Superman. I refunded his tickets, went in, and spoke to the group in question. There was no adult, just a14-ish girl, two younger boys, and the toddler in question. I told them they needed to be quiet, and that they got one warning but that they would be asked to leave if it continued. I stayed in the theater for a bit longer and heard some murmuring from them but nothing serious.
I left and a few minutes later the original guy stormed out and said that the child was screaming again, and he left the theater. I went back in, and did not kick them out yet, but said to the teenage girl that the toddler would have to stay outside until he calmed down a little otherwise they would have to leave.The girl insisted that the toddler wasn’t screaming, but said he had been talking, but that she didn’t know how she was supposed to keep him quiet, which I sympathized with, so I offered her some free tokens so she could play games at the arcade instead (I really don’t know how to keep a 3 year old quiet either, especially if you are also a child).
Anyway, the girl called her parents and they came in a minute or two later. I explained the situation and said the toddler would have to go if they couldn’t stay quiet during the movie, the mom interrupted, yelled at me, called me a cop, called me racist, and asked how I could dare to kick a child out of a theater. I told them that they weren’t actually kicked out, but they needed to be respectful, and she cut me off and told me “you’ve made yourself clear, and I see you.” Anyway, I refunded their tickets and they all went on their way.
I think, basically, that that mom was a jerk for expecting a theater of strangers to parent her toddlers and that she is also pretty dumb for expecting anything other than what happened. But hey, I’m wrong all the time so maybe I should have given them another chance??? Idk.
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Hi, assistant theater manager here. This happened tonight, and it really upset me so I put it before the crowd.
A guy came out of a theater and complained that there was a young child screaming occasionally during a showing of Superman. I refunded his tickets, went in, and spoke to the group in question. There was no adult, just a14-ish girl, two younger boys, and the toddler in question. I told them they needed to be quiet, and that they got one warning but that they would be asked to leave if it continued. I stayed in the theater for a bit longer and heard some murmuring from them but nothing serious.
I left and a few minutes later the original guy stormed out and said that the child was screaming again, and he left the theater. I went back in, and did not kick them out yet, but said to the teenage girl that the toddler would have to stay outside until he calmed down a little otherwise they would have to leave.The girl insisted that the toddler wasn’t screaming, but said he had been talking, but that she didn’t know how she was supposed to keep him quiet, which I sympathized with, so I offered her some free tokens so she could play games at the arcade instead (I really don’t know how to keep a 3 year old quiet either, especially if you are also a child).
Anyway, the girl called her parents and they came in a minute or two later. I explained the situation and said the toddler would have to go if they couldn’t stay quiet during the movie, the mom interrupted, yelled at me, called me a cop, called me racist, and asked how I could dare to kick a child out of a theater. I told them that they weren’t actually kicked out, but they needed to be respectful, and she cut me off and told me “you’ve made yourself clear, and I see you.” Anyway, I refunded their tickets and they all went on their way.
I think, basically, that that mom was a jerk for expecting a theater of strangers to parent her toddlers and that she is also pretty dumb for expecting anything other than what happened. But hey, I’m wrong all the time so maybe I should have given them another chance??? Idk.
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> I’m concerned I might have been too hard on the group in question. The woman seemed really angry and upset which makes me question my instincts, and also she called me racist, and I am white, so I don’t want to dismiss that out of hand.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Sorry AH, Superman is rated G for a reason
NTA, you’re definitely not the asshole in this situation as there isn’t really a reasonable way to handle the situation especially with unreasonable people involved. You did your best.
NTA. You did a really great job, can’t find a single fault with how you handled this. I think very few theatre managers would have handled it this well. You showed exemplary customer care, not only towards the guy who complained (on behalf of everyone else who was watching the movie), but also towards the disruptive family (including the 14yo girl who is being parentified by her ahole Mum, and the ahole Mum herself).
NTAH
Your job as a theater manager is to provide an environment that allows your audiences to enjoy the film they paid to see. Babies and toddlers who disturb the rest of the audience have no business at movie theaters. I don’t care what rating the film carries. The purpose of ratings is to provide information to parents so that they can decide whether the film is something their child can see. It is not a license to treat the theater like a playground.
NTA if the parents were only a couple mins away then they should have been watching the child
why are toddlers even allowed in the theater in the first place?
NTA, anyone who can’t STFU during a movie shouldn’t be allowed in a public theater. Their parents should have been with them.
wtf is wrong with those parents parentifying their older child.
NTA. People who have kids need to take responsibility for them.
NTA. A toddler can’t add shouldn’t be asked to sit in a movie for three hours
NTA. The parents are the AH for expecting a room of people to tolerate their disruptive children.
I don’t know how to make a toddler shut up either, but the least they could’ve done is take responsibilty for their kids’ action and apologise. Instead they become defensive and pull the racism card. The kids were warned for being loud, not for being POC.
NTA. They shouldn’t have been unsupervised in the first place. All theaters near me require you to be 16 to be on your own now because of annoying nonsense like this.
Nta.
Three year olds aren’t supposed to see movies like that,
-Mum of a 4.5 and 1.5 year old
You’re not TA, but you are my hero. Bravo.
NTA. The AH is the one bringing a toddler into a cinema. A 3 year old can’t understand to be quiet. Let alone not understand the movie.It will have spoiled the movie for a lot of people. You should implement a minimum age policy.
In the UK, that movie is classified 12A which means suitable for children of 12 and over, so frankly a toddler shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
In my days of customer service, this is how I would have handled it as well. You did fantastic.
NTA. It’s a cinema not a place to talk or have screaming kids.
Thanks for the comments everyone. This isn’t the most difficult AITAH in the world, but I still feel bad about it and I don’t think it’s necessarily the best idea if you’re white to just brush aside accusations of racism without getting a second opinion. I definitely followed our theater’s policy, but that doesn’t automatically make me right, and I’m willing to bend the rules if it’s necessary. Glad most people seem to agree with me.
Why would you refund the kids with the toddler? They were the problem and you practically rewarded them. Then you should have refunded everybody, because they ruined it for everybody.
Just think, you’re prioritizing the few over the many.
>the mom interrupted, yelled at me, called me a cop, called me racist, and asked how I could dare to kick a child out of a theater.
I might have refunded their tickets, but I most certainly would have trespassed them. Getting a license plate for the police to do a follow up.
People refuse to feel shame, or have any thought they’ve ever had be challenged… and they have too many outlets telling them to feel however they want. Nope, not me.
And I would have gone thermonuclear if a person like this treated one of my employees poorly. Treat me like shit, I’ll calmly and happily show you the door. Bully someone else in my house, and I’ll cut a b…
NTA. It is one thing to send your 14 year old with slightly younger siblings (like 10 or 12 year olds) who know how to behave appropriately to the movie theater without you. But sending a toddler with a sibling that age? No, ma’am, you need to be present so you can manage your young child and take them out of the theater if they can’t manage to behave appropriately, which lots of toddlers can’t. My parents generally stuck to drive-in theaters and/or designated children’s showings when my sister and I were that young (though I know the availability of drive ins even in my childhood was a regional thing mostly limited to places with mild, pleasant weather, and there are even fewer now than there were then). Having designated showings for parents with young kids has become more common than it used to be, so that families can go and enjoy movies like Superman with their young children who aren’t really movie theater ready, so they really ought to take advantage of them.
And ffs, your older children aren’t parents, so if the younger children still need significant management, you don’t get to drop them on your older kids.
I once complained at a cinema about a baby screeching all the way through a film(yes, somebody thought bringing a baby to a cinema was a good idea). I was told by the manager that there was nothing they could do as babies are allowed in the cinema ( in UK).
NTA – you definitely should have stuck around to be sure yourself that the child was actually screaming and it wasn’t just that guy being an asshole because the kid was talking a little, but also who dumps their children off at a movie theater? I would have called CPS, 14 is not old enough to be left unattended with 3 younger siblings, they could have easily been snatched or gotten lost wandering if this issue didn’t cause the kid to call their parents.
NTA. Why the hell were they calling you racist? I don’t want to make assumptions here as to who is who in this post.
NTA why is a toddler sitting in a Pg-13 movie? Why is a toddler sitting in a PG 13 movie with no adult present? Why didn’t you immediately remove the unsupervised child that was too young for the screening? Where were the parents instead of watching their three year old?
You’re not a cop or a racist. Every person who gets shown the door starts throwing out insults like that. I’m a bartender, 8/10 times I cut someone off, they call me a racist and say they’re going to sue me. I’ve been called a racist by people of my own race more times than I can count.
NTA honestly you should have called CPS. 14 year olds shouldnt be minding 3 younger kids. It sounds like an abusive dynamic.
Why were so many refunds given?
You’re obviously not the asshole.
NTA. Mom was pissed because her night of free babysitting was interrupted.
These are the same parents who won’t pick up the phone when the school calls about their kid.
You’re better than me. I wouldn’t have refunded her money, especially after calling me a racist.
I would not return to a movie theatre where a child was allowed to scream throughout a film.
You helped save a business.
The mother was protecting her child. She is wrong but it is understandable.