AITAH for kicking my sister out after she turned our grandma’s quilt into a ‘bong cozy’?

r/

Grandma hand-stitched that quilt for me before she died—every patch was from our childhood dresses. Sis knew it was my most treasured thing.

Yesterday? Walked into my living room to find her using it as a wrap for her fucking bong. Stained with ash, reeking of weed, and she’s laughing: “Relax, it’s just fabric!”

I snapped. Told her to get the hell out of my apartment. She called me a “sentimental Karen,” said I ruined her birthday week (she’s 29 ffs). Now my mom’s blowing up my phone: “She’s homeless over a blanket?!”

Part of me feels like a monster… but that quilt smelled like Grandma’s perfume. Now it smells like bong water and regret.

So, gut-check me: AITAH for choosing a dead woman’s stitches over my sister’s pride?

Comments

  1. Pergasa Avatar

    NTA – your sister is a disrespectful piece of dirt.

  2. Some-Chef5376 Avatar

    Wait, were you letting your sister live with you? You left that important detail out. She fell on hard times and moved in or you were just roommates? Regardless, What the Fuck?! No NTA and I am so sorry.
    Your sister is acting like trash. Does she want to be trash? Is your mother trash?! They are absolutely acting like TAs. A bong cozy?! They need to take a look in the fucking mirror.
    Last summer, my youngest brother (I am/was the oldest of 5 boys) was found dead by my parents after MANY years of opiate and drug abuse. I took him to 2 of his 5 rehabs.
    You need to take care of you first and foremost.
    NEVER let your family shame you.
    Your sister’s behavior reeks of terrible choices and drug abuse and family members that ignore boundaries and blatant terrible behavior and consequences.
    You are the one striving for a healthy life.

  3. NoThanksThatsStupid Avatar

    NTA

    Tell your mother that she’s more than welcome to help your sister out.

    Hierlooms are irreplaceable, lazy and stupid siblings that destroy your things shouldn’t be allowed near your things.

    You should take your time to restore that item to its original shape. Maybe not even this week. It may not be perfect but its still grandma’s quilt.

  4. Jovon35 Avatar

    NTAH. Tell mom if she’s worried about her homeless kid she can house her shitty ass! You sister sucks in a way I can’t verbalize. I have my grandfather’s shirt in a plastic ziplock just so I can smell him. I’d go craze if someone pulled that shit on me.

    Borrow something sentimental if your moms and soak it in bong water. I’d bet she’d change her tune quick. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

  5. Inevitable_Speed_710 Avatar

    Look on Google to find the best ways to clean whatever fabric it is.  Do you know what perfume grandma used?  If not go to a perfume shop and just start testing til you find it.  

    Tell mom it was the most important thing you owned because it reminded you of grandma (her mother?) .  Sister isnt homeless over a blanket. Shes homeless over a complete lack of respect for you, your things and your apartment.  If mom feels so strongly about this, let her house the ungrateful stoner.

    NTA

  6. Trailsya Avatar

    NTA

    I detest people who stay somewhere for free and are then disrespectful.

    Mom can take any druggies in she wants.

  7. CharlotteLucasOP Avatar

    She can’t provide her own accommodations at 29, Mom?

    Invoice her for the dry cleaning and restoration, if that’s possible. NTA and change the locks. That kind of disrespect from a houseguest is absolutely unacceptable.

  8. dalealace Avatar

    NTA. I would have lost my mind if I were in your place. She knew what she was doing every step of the way. She made choices and they had consequences.

  9. fair-strawberry6709 Avatar

    NTA.

    I’m a quilter and I am raging for you.
    The quilt could possibly be saved if it isn’t too bad. If you want opinions, I’d post a picture in the quilting sub for advice on how to repair.

  10. imperfectbean Avatar

    NTA. She can be homeless over a blanket that’s on her.

  11. Mykona-1967 Avatar

    NTA it’s about not respecting someone’s property and she’s smoking weed in your home. If it’s such a problem then sister can go live with mom and deal with her, the weed and the birthday week. It’s rich someone whose couch surfing wasn’t a whole week to celebrate their birthday.

  12. lellyjoy Avatar

    NTA. Your sister is disgusting. She’s 29 and still using a bong? Not to mention being homeless? She needs to grow up and maybe a cold shower will do her good. If your mother is so worried about HER homeless daughter, why isn’t she taking her in? You didn’t produce your sister, she did.

  13. BG3restart Avatar

    NTA. When you welcome someone into your home, they should treat your belongings with the same care as you do yourself and certainly shouldn’t be deliberately hurtful. She can go and sleep on mum’s couch for a while and see how supportive mum is of her then.