Me (25) Wife (24) went out for a date to a steakhouse in a city near us. On the way to the steak house she got a notification on her phone, she checked it and it was a message from ‘settings’ i was confused about it because you don’t get messages from settings. As i work in IT (mainly working on phones) i know these little things, and a message from settings isn’t something that happens. Unless there was a brand new update and she got it the second it came out, but still i would have known, because i know in advance when they come out and the next one was a anti-virus and it wasn’t for about 2 days yet. Eventually we got the steakhouse and ordered starters, after we ate the starters she went to the toilet and left her phone, And i took it and opened it and went on messages, the most recent message was from ‘settings’ and i probable shouldn’t of gone on her phone but i clicked the messages and she was sending dirty messages and dirty pictures to a man. So i put her phone down and left (i paid for the food), and went home and started packing. when she got back from the toilet she messaged me and asked me where i went, i just left her on read and went to my moms house for a while. its been a day and i haven’t answered, i am going to file for divorce tomorrow. Any ideas how i talk to her?
AITAH for leaving dinner because my wife dirty talked a man
r/AITAH
Comments
They never take screen grabs in these stories, and I’m beginning to think it’s on purpose to get us riled up.
You should gather proof first before you do anything else
Honestly, it sounds like you overreacted. I get that you’re upset, but leaving her at the restaurant was a pretty extreme move. Did you even ask her about the message? There might be a reasonable explanation for it. Communication is key here.
You didn’t leave dinner, you left betrayal. She didn’t just disrespect you, she did it while sitting across the table, on a date you planned. You don’t owe her silence or softness now. You owe yourself peace.
Sounds like bs to me! Even though you work in IT, unless you’re incredibly focused on when system updates come out for any particular phone, you sound obsessed about them. Not normal!
All these people saying you need evidence. Don’t know where you live but proving adultery to get a more favourable divorce has gone the way of the dodos in many countries . The only reason to get evidence is to justify when asked by friends and family.
Sounds fake.
You betrayed my trust in the worst way possible, and there’s nothing left for us to talk about.
NTA. She knew you were knowledgeable on tech and still treated you like an idiot trying to hide things from you. If you had stayed and allowed her to excuse her behaviour in those messages, that would have been disrespectful to yourself. File for divorce and don’t look back, because if you stay she will also respect you less than she already does, and you deserve better than that. Good luck OP!
Bot
While messaging another guy with sexual content as well as inappropriate pictures in and of itself is a betrayal, for purposes of divorce and to prevent to the extent possible in your jurisdiction, you need more evidence.
Were they meeting privately at his place at a motel. Was he kissing her, making her wet as he licked her nipples which got hard. Speaking of hard, did he insert his rock hard phallus into your wife’s now very receptive pudenda? Did they vigorously copulate? Did he use protection or did he inject a huge load into her as she climaxed with satisfaction.
How many times did they do this.
Video evidence will really help your case and at least she may not get half of your assets.
Just message her.
‘ I saw your message with ‘settings’. way to destroy a marriage. All communication from now on will be through my lawyer. Take care’
Then block her.
Just get a lawyer and text her their name and number, and tell her she can communicate through them. There’s nothing to talk about.
Tell her to call “Settings” and to leave you alone.
Your husband has vanished from your dinner and you text him instead of calling? 🤔
NTA. She wasn’t just cheating, she tried to outsmart you by hiding it under “Settings,” which means she knew what she was doing and planned to keep doing it. Walking out quietly was more dignity than she deserved. File, blockand let her talk to your lawyer.
Fake.
Pretty sure I read this story (with “settings” as the affair partner’s name in the phone, too) a couple of months ago. I wish people would stop recycling old content. I mean, recycling is usually a good thing, just not here.
You can talk to her the way you wrote this post: with a really bad AI.
NTA. Just text her what you wrote here.
Why would you want to talk to her? Is there anything you want her to know? Tell your lawyer and they will tell her. No need to talk to her ever again
Your lawyer can best answer that.
> Any ideas how I talk to her?
Through a lawyer.
Updateme
Don’t talk to her. She made her bed, now she must lay in it. That is not up for discussion, she betrayed your trust once, what’s stopping her from doing it again?
Final verdict: NTA She should be ashamed for cheating on you.
You were wrong to snoop through her phone.
She’s wrong if cheating on you.
Mute point either way, since this seems overwhelmingly fake.
I work in IT so I know you don’t get texts from settings
Doesn’t take a career in IT to know that lol
Yea. Don’t talk to her. There’s only 2 ways she handles this.
Tell her she’s now free to make a life with her boyfriend because you’re done. Then go NC and live your best life. There are faithful women out there you just have to go through a few hoes to find them though.
Updateme!
Just text her, her parents, and if you have the number to the other guy. Simply say, other guys name, she is all yours. I saw your messages between you two, the say. Few lines and pictures. I am filing for divorce. Let me introduce you to her parents I am sure they will be thrilled.
He did to much explaining for me
Updateme