I was walking my dog in my neighborhood and we were getting close to a yard that had two kids, maybe elementary age (I’m bad with ages) in it. My dog stopped to sniff a spot. One of the kids came over and asked if she could pet my dog. I said she could.
Both kids started petting my dog. He likes kids, so he started licking their toes, which they thought was funny. One kid asked what kind of dog he was, and I said he was a mutt. A woman came out of the house and yelled at the kids to go inside.
I started to leave, but she yelled at me and asked why I was talking to the kids. I said they wanted to pet my dog. She said I should have gotten her permission. I said okay, in the future I won’t let those kids pet my dog. She said I shouldn’t let any kid pet my dog without the parent’s permission.
I said that if she doesn’t want her kid petting dogs she needs to tell her kid that, because it really isn’t my responsibility to enforce her rules for her. She said it’s a crime to talk to a stranger’s children. I told her to call the police then. She asked me which unit I lived in, and I told her. She said she was going to report me. I said she absolutely should do that.
Now that the moment has passed, I’m wondering if I don’t have a much moral high ground as I originally assumed. Which of us was the asshole?
Comments
You let some kids pet a friendly dog, not sell them black market candy. She overreacted hard.
She’s out of line. NTA
There’s different variables here, but I just want to get one thing straight: YNTA.
If you walked on to someone’s property and approached their kids offering for them to pet their dog, that would be super creepy or weird. I’ll be honest, that’s the type of thing that makes me come outside with my gun and ask questions.
That being said, that’s not what you did or not what I’m gathering that you did. You’re just walking down the sidewalk and some kids asked to pet your dog. You have the confidence in your dog knowing that he wasn’t going to hurt them or assault them, and obviously as your story goes, that’s exactly how it went. Your dog was very amicable and polite. People are just going to be butthurt, people are going to be mad. Could you have asked permission from the parents? Sure. But it’s splitting hairs at this point. You didn’t do anything wrong. That’s all there is to it. Just avoid that house in the future, don’t talk to them or walk by them. Just my take. Continue to be respectful of people’s boundaries while also allowing your dog to get the social interaction to build a positive environment.
What the actual F*ck is wrong with that woman? NTA.
I would’ve reacted similarly but I’m also an asshole when it comes to people like that. TONS of kids have pet my dog during walks. NTA
NTA.Letting kids pet a dog that came up to you isn’t villain behavior. Sounds like she just wanted to pick a fight.
As a mom- my answer is no. If your dog was aggressive or in training I would co-sign. But my kids are animal lovers and they would have been right there waiting for pets. They have also been taught about animal behavior.
You didn’t do anything wrong. I would guess she has anxiety or concerns based on her own fears or past experiences.
Some people aren’t happy unless others are unhappy. Assuming I have a kid-friendly dog, I’ve never had an issue with kids loving on the dog. If the mother cannot be present to oversee such interactions, that’s on her.
Also, I have never found that it’s illegal to talk to strangers. Perhaps it’s not smart, but that’s on the parents to teach about the whole “stranger danger” thing.
NTA. You clearly have the moral high ground However, that angry lady, if she calls the police, will likely try to attack and cause damage by reporting lies about the incident.
NTA. However, I want to point out something the mom did right: she taught her kids to ask before petting a strange dog. I see stories all the time from owners of anxious or aggressive dogs complaining that kids just charge up and scare the poor dog and then get upset when the mean owner says don’t do that, he’s not friendly!
NTA. Her kids approached you and asked permission to pet your dog, right? The kids should be praised for asking you rather than just assuming they can pet the dog.
If unknown kids approach you, you can talk to them. You can’t lead then to a different location or give them food, but you can talk to them.
NTA.
When someone says “it’s a crime to do X,” ask them which law is relevant. Very often, they’re just mouthing off and don’t actually have a clue.
My dogs love kids. They enjoy the fuss and attention. Dogs are like crack for children, they can’t get enough of them. I spend a lot of time trying to get my dogs to move as all they want to do is lie on their back getting belly rubs and head scratches.
The children did right, asking if it was OK to pet the dog. That’s the etiquette. Not “Go ask your mom”.
NTA. You are 100% correct, if she doesn’t want her kids petting strangers’ dogs she needs to tell them not to do it. Most parents are ok with their kids petting dogs, if the kids ask the owner and the owner says yes which is what happened. You did nothing wrong here.
Now she might have been uncomfortable with her kids getting physically close to a random stranger on the street when she wasn’t around. But again that’s a conversation she should be having with her kids.
Of course not. If the woman doesn’t want her children talking to strangers, she shouldn’t let them play outside unsupervised. The idea that other people have an obligation to adhere to her boundaries that they would have no knowledge of at all is beyond entitled.
If the mom was that concerned about her kids petting dogs and talking to strangers she should have been outside supervising them. The kids were fine, you were fine. What did she expect you to do? Knock on the door to get her permission first?
I’m always respectful to kids in attempt to show that this country is not totally inhabited by insufferable assholes.
NTA but I would have just said OK Lady and walked on. You’re not going to change her mind.
Nta
I play it safe. If a child asks, I tell them they must get permission from their parent first. Unless they are teenagers, but really young kids. I don’t give them the option. I have had some run ins with parents like her. Just once, she was upset her daughter got drool on her hand. I keep wipes, because I have a dog. I like to eat with clean hands too. Gave the little girl a wipe to clean her hands, but she was still upset.
Also some young kids don’t know if they are allergic to dogs or not. Especially if they haven’t been around animals. I would hate for a child to pet my dog and then have hives or something.
If she doesn’t want her kids talking to people and petting dogs she needs to be outside watching her kids. NTA
I understand the “stranger danger” reaction on her part. Also that there are a lot of irresponsible dog owners out there.
Her children had a perfectly lovely interaction with both your dog and you and she overreacted. I’m guessing she didn’t see the interaction which no doubt prompted her over reaction.
You are absolutely not the asshole. But I am cutting her a bit of slack for her reaction. Then I’m taking some of that slack back because she let her children run out unsupervised and didn’t like the result. The police would just laugh at her.
I always try to encourage positive interactions with my dogs, especially when people are afraid of dogs.
My neighbour’s family were all afraid of dogs and I gently introduced them one on one at a time, allowing them to feel comfortable and letting them see that my dogs (two cockers and a Bichon) were gentle.
You can gauge the situation but this could be an opportunity for you to become a friend. Talk to her. You don’t need to apologize but approach her with how much her children enjoyed petting your dog and maybe she’d like to join them for a mini walk so she knows it’s safe? Ask if she’s afraid of dogs. If you have a large dog, it’s a bit trickier, but have the dog lie down and you scratch the dog’s ears and gently encourage her to pat the dog. Try to keep your dog from turning.
It’s a slow process but it actually could be fun. You can help teach her children to never approach a strange dog, not to crowd a dog, and approach with your hand under and palm up.
I’m sure you know that hand down from above can feel threatening to a dog.
With my neighbour, we would sit and chat on the steps and I’d have my Bichon on my lap and without thinking she’d start to let my girl sniff her, and it just went from there.
I can’t imaging living in such fear of dogs.
We were flying to France with my (now) two dogs under the seat and it turned out the woman in the window seat was so terrified of dogs, she was plastered against the window. We reassured her and showed her that they couldn’t get out. It didn’t help. The flight attendant moved her and we ended up with more room so it was good for all.
I hope this can turn into something positive for all of you. Unpleasantness with a neighbour is never a good thing.
You really can’t win in this situation. Let the kids pet the dog? YTA. Tell them “no”? YTA.
Of course YNTA. My point is that whatever you do, someone is going to complain.
I hope she does report it to the police and gets fined for wasting police time. You did NOTHING wrong OP except be a good neighbour.
NTA, the problem is the mom, not you. one of the first things you should teach your child after stranger danger is not to approach and pet any animal without being sure they’re safe, and that’s by asking the permission of the pet’s owner. the kids did nothing wrong, neither did you
This is how it starts, first you let her kids pet your dog, then you buy them an ice cream from the ice cream truck, then next thing you know, you let them swim in your pool! The horror!
NTA
She needs to supervise her child with she doesn’t want her kids petting stranger’s dog.
Avoid this woman she can be dangerous.
YOU
NTA.. The mother had an extremely odd overreaction to an innocent and natural thing, two kids thinking a dog is cute and wanting to pet it. It’s not your job to ask a parent’s permission if their kid(s) can pet your dog. IT IS the parent’s job to supervise their kid(s) and know what they’re doing, should they choose to be helicopter parents. You did nothing wrong. The mother was TAH.
Put your wife on a leash and walk her around? Lizard bitch
NTA I will say that I always tell children they can pet my dog if it’s OK with their parents. It’s just a safety issue for me. On the other hand, I think this woman grossly overreacted. I think it’s great that the kids asked first..
She could have just walked out there and started a convo while the kiddos were petting your pup. She could have gauged the situation from a closer and a friendlier approach.
I completely get the fear of kiddos being approached by dangerous strangers but if she was that afraid she needed to be out there monitoring the kids. Yelling at the kids to go inside and making it seem like that is going to cause more issues with the kids. Poor kiddos were just petting a nice dog
NTA
NTA. This is a her problem.
The woman is a nut case, you did nothing wrong. Her kids approached you and asked you if they could pet your dog. You handled the complete situation including the mother’s response perfectly.
I will suggest you do take the woman’s advice and next time you find yourself in a similar situation tell the kids to go ask their mom or dad if it is ok for them to pet your doggie. That way you don’t actually have to say no to the kids, it puts all the responsibility on their parents and might save you problems later on.
Best of luck …..
Are you a male?
I understand a mother’s concern if her young children are talking to a strange man.
With that being said, cudos for letting the kiddos pretty your dog. Mine just loves small children and babies. He’s also super calm and the best boy.
My dog is unpredictable with kids and other dogs. I politely decline for safety sake. If you have a kid loving dog, I see nothing wrong with your dog licking kids.
Its illegal to let a kid pet a dog?
Which law is that?
Lady is INSANE.
You’re NTA, and now I wanna pet your dog.
You are the AH. I’m assuming you don’t know the lady here. So imagine you are her, if you saw a man giving your kid candy or let them pet his dog, what’s the assumption? How should she not assume that you are pedo?
Let’s say even if she understood at some point that you are good person, what precedent it sets for the kids? Take something from strangers? It’s that case, where you could be the predator or you are setting the precedent for kids it’s ok to mingle with strangers who can predators.
She was TAH, no question. Police are going to laugh at her. “oooh, he let your kids pet his dog? Wow, that’s good for at least two years of solitary confinement!” /S
If you think you’re the AH for this, in any way, then you’re cognitive function should be checked. Its not a crime to talk to children, for 1. For 2. If she doesnt want her children to ask to pet dogs or speak to other humans, then she should keep them with her. The children asked kindly, and you agreed. She can report you all day long. Who cares.
NTA. She’ll be ok, the police will laugh at her.
I feel sorry for her kids. NTA.
If she is worried about her kids talking to strangers.
She should be outside supervising or, at the very least. A stranger danger conversation and why we don’t approach strangers even if they have a dog or candy.
This is all on mommy dearest. You did nothing wrong.
Thankfully, it was you, a well-meaning person and not someone trying to attract kids for nefarious purposes.
She needs to watch her kids and have a conversation with her kids about strangers. It is a 5min talk that could save their lives!
She is a Karen