my friend was in town visiting me. I have a roommate. She came on a Friday, and I had to work Saturday. We went out Friday night and had fun, and on Saturday, I gave her my apt keys so she could sleep in and explore town while I was at work. I got a crazy mad text from my roommate calling me inconsiderate because she didn’t trust my friend. Her door was closed and locked, so my friend only had access to the common area and my area. Also: my roommate used my friends CAR to drive us to the bars the night before. My friend let my roommate use her car, but my roommate can’t let my friend use the common space and my space when I’m not there?
We both pay rent. My friend only had access to the common area and my space. I had to go to work. She wasn’t a stranger, a good friend that my roommate knew was staying with me. I was appreciative that she drove us, but it’s weird that my friend trusted my roommate with her car, but my roommate couldn’t trust my friend.
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my friend was in town visiting me. I have a roommate. She came on a Friday, and I had to work Saturday. We went out Friday night and had fun, and on Saturday, I gave her my apt keys so she could sleep in and explore town while I was at work. I got a crazy mad text from my roommate calling me inconsiderate because she didn’t trust my friend. Her door was closed and locked, so my friend only had access to the common area and my area. Also: my roommate used my friends CAR to drive us to the bars the night before. My friend let my roommate use her car, but my roommate can’t let my friend use the common space and my space when I’m not there? AITAH?
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> I feel I might be the a hole because I did not talk to my roommate prior, and did not consider her feelings.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA!! weird to say she doesn’t trust someone even though she has driven their literal car before. tell her to not be immature, worst case ask ur friend to hang out in ur bedroom while u deal with roommate
YTA I think it is reasonable to let your friend stay in the apartment while you are working. But you need to clear it with your roommate beforehand. The car is irrelevant.
YTA.
This isn’t about your roommate using your friend’s car or your friend using the common areas, it’s about you not asking your roommate whether she’s okay with your friend being there while you are not.
Not only did you allow your friend to be there without getting the OK from your roommate first, but you didn’t even tell your roommate that your friend would be there.
Worst case scenario, you could’ve gotten your friend killed if your roommate had a gun and thought there was an intruder and feared for her life.
NAH. In regards to the car – do you mean you asked your roommate to be your DD so you guys could drink? That changes the context of borrowing the car.
YTA. This is someone’s home. Nobody should have to tolerate people being in the sanctuary of their home when their roommate is out. You share your apartment, you don’t have carte Blanche to do whatever you like and give your keys out willy nilly.
I was going to say it’s one thing if they had never met, but if they met and went out the night before, IDK what the deal is. Might behoove you to let them know beforehand “hey roomie is staying over, i’m leaving”
NTA
Did the RM even drive the car unsupervised? Sounds like they were acting as designated driver for you.
Regardless, a car and apartment are not the same, and trust is not automatically a two way street. You should have cleared the visitor having keys and being there without you with your friend, which you were obviously planning before she arrived. YTA.
Info did you ask your roommate if it was alright for your friend to be in the house alone?
Y t a if you did, she was uncomfortable, and said no. It is also her house!
But it’s weird that she is fine with you two borrowing and driving her car but not being at home. Esh. She should have said she was uncomfortable, you should have spoken more to her.
Your lack of communication and ASKING makes YTA
YTA so your roommate was kind enough to drive you around is how i read that. YTA because you never asked if she could be there when you aren’t. You live with someone else, you don’t live there alone. Always make sure your roommate knows and don’t leave people there when you aren’t unless you ask
I guess you should have made roommate aware of logistics beforehand
YTA. You failed to let your roommate know your friend had keys to the apartment, and would likely be around on Saturday. Secondly, how is it an honor to be designated driver and take you and your friend to the bar? That’s a favor she did for you. You’re the AH, and a pretty inconsiderate one.
NTA but rather inconsiderate. You should have cleared it with your roommate. Familiarity doesn’t override the duty you have to inform your roomie that a stranger will be in y’all’s place in your absence.
YTA, should have asked/communicated and worked through a plan ahead of time.
Additional AH-ness because you asked your roomie to be your DD the night before and are using that as a tit for tat reason/excuse for trust when it’s totally unrelated or maybe even makes you even more in debted to your roomie
NTA your roommate is being a weirdo. The end.