Hey guys, this isn’t a super interesting one but I’m genuinely curious if Iv done anything wrong here because I really feel like I’m being gaslighted and made out to be a weirdo.
So for some context, me (F25) and my sister (F28) have a very turbulent relationship. We’ve either got a normal sister relationship, or it’s REALLY bad and we won’t talk for a good few months at a time.
So we just got back from our nephews birthday party and in the car was myself, my sister, my uncle, his wife, and my cousin (M30).
With us 2 and my cousin, although he lives in a different country and we don’t see him often, whenever we do see eachother it’s always fun and lighthearted and he’s always regarded us as his sisters rather than cousins.
Right, so long story short, on the way back home from the birthday party, my sister had the giggles and was laughing hysterically to herself about a joke she had made. She always has the giggles whenever my cousin is in town as he’s such a light-hearted guy and it’s always easy to let your guard down around him. So anyway as she was giggling away, the entire car was dead silent and it became pretty awkward because no one else was laughing except her so I made a comment in a light and laughy manner saying, verbatim – “You always have the giggles whenever (Cousin) is in town, it’s because he’s so naturally funny”.
After I said this comment the car laughed and moved on like nothing happened, there was no more awkwardness, she finally stopped giggling over her own joke, and we moved on with the conversation.
When we came home, my sister ran to my mum basically saying that I had insinuated that she had a crush on my cousin and that she felt really disrespected.
I am totally confused and quite honestly angry at her for even thinking that I would even SLIGHTLY suggest that she had a “crush” on her COUSIN who we literally consider to be a brother. I am probably more weirded out that anything and also annoyed that she had ran to our mum to say this, before even telling me she was annoyed about that comment and therefore making me out to be a weirdo to my mum without giving my mum any context to the conversation or comment.
Am I being gaslighted, or was my comment a little weird?
And am I the asshole for making a comment to cut awkwardness?
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Hey guys, this isn’t a super interesting one but I’m genuinely curious if Iv done anything wrong here because I really feel like I’m being gaslighted and made out to be a weirdo.
So for some context, me (F25) and my sister (F28) have a very turbulent relationship. We’ve either got a normal sister relationship, or it’s REALLY bad and we won’t talk for a good few months at a time.
So we just got back from our nephews birthday party and in the car was myself, my sister, my uncle, his wife, and my cousin (M30).
With us 2 and my cousin, although he lives in a different country and we don’t see him often, whenever we do see eachother it’s always fun and lighthearted and he’s always regarded us as his sisters rather than cousins.
Right, so long story short, on the way back home from the birthday party, my sister had the giggles and was laughing hysterically to herself about a joke she had made. She always has the giggles whenever my cousin is in town as he’s such a light-hearted guy and it’s always easy to let your guard down around him. So anyway as she was giggling away, the entire car was dead silent and it became pretty awkward because no one else was laughing except her so I made a comment in a light and laughy manner saying, verbatim – “You always have the giggles whenever (Cousin) is in town, it’s because he’s so naturally funny”.
After I said this comment the car laughed and moved on like nothing happened, there was no more awkwardness, she finally stopped giggling over her own joke, and we moved on with the conversation.
When we came home, my sister ran to my mum basically saying that I had insinuated that she had a crush on my cousin and that she felt really disrespected.
I am totally confused and quite honestly angry at her for even thinking that I would even SLIGHTLY suggest that she had a “crush” on her COUSIN who we literally consider to be a brother. I am probably more weirded out that anything and also annoyed that she had ran to our mum to say this, before even telling me she was annoyed about that comment and therefore making me out to be a weirdo to my mum without giving my mum any context to the conversation or comment.
Am I being gaslighted, or was my comment a little weird?
And am I the asshole for making a comment to cut awkwardness?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I made a comment to cut awkwardness with my sister and said she had the giggles around our cousin which she understood as me saying she has a crush on our own cousin
2) this action might make me an asshole and I kind of used her as the butt of a comment to cut awkwardness and it may insinuate to some people that she has a crush on, or feels giddy around her own cousin
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. She ran to your mother like a 7 year old and lied about what you said.
NTA – She’s the one making it weird
NTA. If she ran to your mom saying you said this that reflects on her not you.
You’re not being gaslighted, if only because someone misinterpreting what you said isn’t gaslighting.
While you didn’t mean to insinuate your sister has a crush on your cousin, starting the sentence with “You always have the giggles whenever (Cousin) is in town” does make it sound like she has a crush on your cousin.
It sounds like she’s making a bigger deal about it than the situation warrants, and a 28-year-old running to her mother about it rather than talking to you seems odd. Is that typical behavior for her?
And no, there’s nothing wrong with making a comment to cut the awkwardness.
Awkward comment to make for sure.
NTA- She was probably just sensitive and embarrassed about it in the moment because she took it the wrong way and thought EVERYONE else did too, probably built it up in her head a while and got worked up about it. She doesn’t realize that no one else thought that way, and she’s the one worrying herself over nothing
NTA She has a crush on your cousin.
I can absolutely see why she thought you meant she had a crush.
No she isn’t gaslighting.
NAH here, just miscommunication.
Apologize to her and tell her that isnt what you meant and say you’re sorry she was embarrassed by what you said.
You’re NTA and I’m pretty sure your sister just told on herself.