I am 20yrs and often do babysitting for my cousins son who is 5. She leaves him with me all the time sometimes for 10 to 12 hours with no notice. Last time she dropped him off without even making him lunch or paying me expecting I would just handle it. I ended up having to feed him from my own groceries. When I told her that from now on she needs to either pay m or provide food she kindaaa blew up calling me money hungry and saying: Yeah its family. I love my little cousin but I do not wanna spend over 2 hours with making him food or something for free. Hes not my kid. AITAH?
aitah for not babysitting my cousins son fir free??
r/AITAH
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NTA. And its shocking she would call you money hungry. At your age you need to spend your money on yourself. Her behavior is spoiled, entitled, and shameful. She not you, should be ashamed of herself. Why even bring kids into the world, if you are not going to take care of them?
She’s calling you money hungry while expecting 10 hours of unpaid labor? That’s wild
NTA! I’m pretty sure she is the one who’s money hungry if she doesn’t want to compensate you for your time and groceries!
NTA. Family doesn’t mean free labor. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
I would talk to your cousin and tell them that the constant baby sitting is hurting your relationship with them and their son. It’s hard to have a fun carefree time when your having to invest time and money into essentially helping raise him. The least they could do is provide the food for the stay or cash to order pizza or something
NTA. You even gave her the out of just showing up with a stack of lunchables and it sounds like you’d have been happy with just having to not lose 20-30+ bucks’ worth of groceries every time the kid wants a snack and raids your cabinets and fridge.
Kids eat a lot and are hungry all the time, I used to go to my friend’s house and we’d go through like, all the crackers and tuna fish and peanut butter and cheese just two or three teenagers, hanging out and “snacking,” then when his parents got home he’d holler “hey mom! I got two friends over for supper!” with no warning.
I feel so bad for our parents in retrospect because it took a lot of learning to cook and observing how much food we had on-hand, how my mother used it to feed our family etc, to realize just how hard that “hospitality” thing can be.
I am a mythology nerd and grew up reading stories about the Good Samritan, or how a stranger knocks on your door asking for food and water and if you refuse them it turns out to be Zeus himself who turns you into a frog or some such.. So I will never turn down anyone who is being at least marginally polite. Sometimes this means I had to use the best food I was saving up, but I will do it.
When someone does this more than once though it is no longer hospitality, they are trying to take advantage of me and may find out that my doors are locked, my phone is off, and I was taking a nap when they show up unannounced after a pattern of assuming I’ll give them free work and food and time without them asking first.
I read the title a few times wondering why you’re be babysitting a fir tree… finally understood what you meant.
Anyway, NTA. You’re cousin is a cheapskate. Its amazing how many people hide behind “its family” when they want to save a few bucks as well as not respecting other family member’s time and efforts.
NTA
Tell her to fuck off
Yta to yourself! You shouldn’t have babysat a 2nd time after she didn’t pay the 1st time!
No, you’re not the AITAH. Your cousin is seriously taking advantage of you. Watching your little cousin out of love is one thing, but 10–12 hours with no warning, no food, and no offer to help? That’s not okay. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you money hungry, it means you respect your time and energy
NTA she should provide childcare for her child because she is the parent of the child
Why are you raising your nephew? You’re spending more time with him than his parent. Where is dad? You could just stop,or tell her next time she drops him off unannounced, you’re going to call cps or the cops, because what she is doing is abandoning her child. Family first? Then she should be focusing on raising her family instead of having you do it. I’m petty as hell, I would also charge her $20 an hour.
You need to enforce firm boundaries with her. People pull the family card out when they want free labor. She’s cheap and entitled.
No more drop offs. Set timeframe and pay. Make sure she pays up front and provides money for food.
10-12 hrs at a time. Why? Is she working? That’s really long hours. Are you working? Check going rates for sitters and then offer her a “family” discount. I wouldn’t do it for less than $15/hr.
Does she not realize you gave her a “free” option? All she needs to do is make sure her kid has food, something she should be doing anyway. It’s not your responsibility to make sure there is child safe food in your apartment.
She’s definitely taking advantage of you. Your 20 and I assume are in college or have a job or both. You need time for yourself and should not be spending your money on her kid unless you want to.
NTA. What is she doing that requires her to be away from her child for 10 to 12 hours at a time? If she’s working, she has the money to pay you. If she’s got the free time and spending money to just eff around, then she still has the money to pay you. And oh yeah, whose kid is it? Hers! Her responsibility, her expense.
A little. Family should be helping each other out. If you can’t count on family, who can you?
That being said, they should not be abusing your relationship. In other words if it is becoming a regular, non-paid thing where they just expect you to be free and willing/able to be free child care you should talk to them. A simple “I don’t mind helping out in a pinch or occasionally, but I don’t have the bandwidth both in terms of energy and finances, to do this regularly without pay.” Or some sort of variant of that.
When your family are extortionists and think they get to extort money from you because ‘family’, you have to come down hard. NO more babysitting at all. She had her chance to treat you well but she decided that stiffing you, making you purchase groceries for her child, and then blowing up your phone because you set boundaries….wild.
Let her figure out raising her own kid without your help.
NTA
Tell her that her attitude is gross and for the time being you will no longer babysit at all. Watch her mood go from anger to guilt trip to blaming to apologetic real quick
Turn the whole “ but it’s family” thing to family helps family by paying their fair share such as paying for babysitting. If she’s not happy then she can find someone else to leech off of
Tell her you aren’t watching the kids again.
Do you live on your own or with your parents? If you live on your own, don’t open the door. Get a ring camera.
Call CPS next time she drops them at the door and let them know your family member dropped off kids without anyone in charge.
Tell her she can find sitter elsewhere then. It’s common courtesy to give notice if you need help last minute. I’m petty enough to ignore messages from her and keep the deadbolt on your door lol
NTA. Tell her that if she dumps the kid on your door, that you will call the police and CPS.
NTA. Cousin is abusing your kindness.