We all live on a street that abutts a baseball field. All the kids grew up playing there, and when no games are going on, it’s basically an official hangout. There’s a big blacktop area, basketball courts, the baseball diamond, Foursquare, hopscotch, and a giant playground. We live in a safe area, so it’s not uncommon for there to be 2 dozen kids ages 10-14 who all rode their bikes over.
One of the neighbors has a 22 yr old daughter. I’ll include her attractiveness only because it’s relevant. She’s a beautiful young lady.
Apparently, she sunbathes in her backyard nude while her parents are at work. There is an old cedar fence next to an old chain link fence, and there are voids where you can see into their yard.
So the neighbor father stopped me the other day to tell me my son and a bunch of his buddies were all watching his nude daughter through the fence. I told him I’d speak to my kid, which I did. Sat him down and explained he was violating her privacy, and she’s allowed to be nude without being creeped on. If I find out he’s back at the fence, he’ll no longer have access to this field, which would be devastating to him.
Yesterday, the same neighbor said it’s continuing to happen, basically daily. I asked if my son was involved, and he said it’s tough for her to tell. I called my son on speaker in front of him, and he was adamant, ADAMANT he hasn’t been back. I can read my son like a book. I know when he’s lying and when he’s defending himself from being falsely accused. I believe him. I hung up and continued to talk to the neighbor. Told him I’m not sure what he’s looking for from me, and i can’t help him. Which he was pissed about.
But WTF. Yes, she’s allowed to be nude in her yard, BUT there are literally dozens of preteen boys next door. You would need armed guards to stop them all gathering at the fence.
Am I responsible for trying to parent every other boy, some I dont even know? I did my part. If it was my daughter, I’d probably ask she remain in a bathing suit while sunbathing. Maybe some of you will hate that answer, but when the beautiful college girl is naked 50′ from a bunch of horny boys, what else am I supposed to do about it??
Comments
So let me get this straight. A woman who is not related to you is sunbathing on property that is not yours, while some young boys who are not related to you are watching from other property that is also not yours?
NTA. People need to take responsibility for themselves.
Two words: bathing suit
It could be considered indecent exposure etc. especially if she knows people can see her. If there’s underage kids involved, call the police.
I kind of think if no one was watching she’d not do it.She’s next to a children’s area with no real fence there and keeps doing it.
Think about it if it was a 22 year old man doing this people would be calling the police on him exposing himself to children. So why is this any different?
NTA. Not your daughter, not your garden, not your son, not your fence, not your responsibility.
Boys will be boys and you can’t parent anyone’s kid but your own. Her beauty has nothing to do with it. Boys will peep a nude girl even if she’s ugly. It’s not her face they’re looking at. Suggest to the neighbor that he fix the fence so there’s no peep holes. Until then she will have to deal with the kids watching her or she can cover up.
The post is about whether it’s wrong to not stop preteen boys from watching a neighbor’s nude daughter sunbathe through a fence. NTA, because you can’t control other kids or their parents’ decisions, suggest the neighbor either fix the fence or cover up, but that’s on them, not you. What would you do if you were in that situation?
NTA sorry but next time, just tell him to put out flyers, to stop the boys peeping 🤣. Honestly his daughter clearly doesn’t care, she must like the attention. Otherwise she would cover up her vulnerable bits, she doesn’t need a sack cloth, just enough to cover things
I looked it up rq and even if it’s their private property it’s 100% still indecent exposure if she can be seen by the public
If there are a bunch of boys just outside my fence, giggling, making comments, etc. I would hear them. She probably knows they’re watching. If it bothers you so much talk to her parents.
Sounds like a scene for an 80’s comedy honestly.
NTA
NTA, but he is, and so is she.
WTF? Get a better fence. Nail a towel up over the space. Tell her to wear a bathing suit. Call the police. Go yell at the kids while it’s happening.
There are at least 5 other answers that are more effective than calling on you to handle the situation. It’s his problem.
And if she knows, then she’s an exhibitionist who should be arrested for flashing underage boys.
What’s the address? Need to see for myself to properly assess.
Gives me faith in the younger boys now.
This is on the dad of the nudist. He can line the fence from his side with non see through material or replace the fence.
NTA. Can’t she just erect a screen so she’s hidden from view, or patch the holes where kids are looking through? I’d have thought her dad would do this rather than expecting a load of teens not to look. Either way, it’s not your responsibility.
NTA, but she is repeatedly sun bathing nude where she knows children can see her. That sounds like it could end up with her in jail. They live next to a park so they don’t get a pass.
She’s dosent want to be watched tell her to wear a bathing suite but I bet she’s enjoying it a little , driving all the little horn toads crazy
Let’s be real here. She knows exactly what she’s doing.
Backyard isn’t completely private, she’s aware. SHE needs to stop laying out nude unless she’s enjoying being entertainment for a bunch of boys.
Nta. And actually, depending on where you live and the ability to see her, it might be illegal for her to be nude or the boys could get in trouble. I’d tell him to call the cops next time.
NTA
Keep your son by your side and from a distance video tape the large crowd of pre teen boys at the fence. I say from a distance because you don’t was them to be recognizable in the photo. Give that to the dad. Maybe frame it.
Also boys are not quiet. She has to know they are there while she’s bathing. That’s the part concerning me. She knows and continues to do it.
Now what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business but if she were upset about it, they wouldn’t they just make the fence not see through?
I suspect this is her dad’s issue, not hers…. Which makes this whole thing weirder.
NTA
I would tell the neighbor this “If you don’t want teenage boys ogling your daughter, your choices are as follows: 1) Fix the fence so the horny teenagers can’t see her, 2) You can stand guard over there and chase them away while she sunbathes, or 3) Tell your daughter to put some clothes on.
What is NOT an option is putting the burden on ME to keep people I have no authority over from peeping on your daughter. My son was involved. I addressed that issue – he is no longer peeping – if that’s not good enough, YOU need to be the one to do something about it.
You notice not one of her family has done one thing to stop it and she’s so upset by it she’s doing it every day.
Swap the genders and I’m pretty sure they’d be pitchforks for the creepy man sitting naked in the vicinity of underage girls. She’s an adult making a questionable choice. Are the kids fully in the right? Not exactly, but I don’t think it’s any fault of ops whatsoever
Next time it happens, tell him to call cops
His daughter is an adult.
A young one but an adult.
If her modesty is an issue she has two options find a better place to be nude in or fix the fence so it’s not inviting peeping toms.
It obviously spread among the boys that she was there,
You prevented your son from behaving badly.
But unless he is willing to fix the breach in his fence or hunt down all the boys himself you did all you can do for your neighbor.
It was obvious it was boys plural not one and certainly your son wasn’t the leader of the gang.
It’s not up to you to parent random boys.
I hate the boys will be boys mentality but she can put something to block the fence and stop to enforce her privacy.
NTA. My husband and I prefer to walk around our house nude, however if we know we’ll be somewhere we could possibly be seen by neighbors so we cover up in our own house because that’s our responsibility and I’m not trying to get slapped with an indecent exposure charge.
NTA. He’s pissed because he knows his daughter is a ho. If one of those boys stuck their dick through the fence, she’d feign outrage and then jerk him off. She’s putting on a show for the boys and she damn well knows it.
Bullshit AI BS
Downvote, report and block
Lot’s of sl*t shaming and enabling grape culture in this comment section.
Call the cops on her for indecent exposure to minors.
NTA. That’s considered indecent exposure where I live and if children can see her then it’s also endangering the welfare of a minor.
As a parent who’ve done the bare minimum only addressing what your son was involved in. Bigger picture, it’s indecent exposure & irresponsible of an adult female to expose other minor children without consent. Seems harmless , let’s wait til a male neighbor at 22 wants to sunbathe nude while your kid & neighborhood kids are looking . All because they came to play in an appropriate play area & got sidetracked by what appears forbidden to them . Hmmm
Yea you’d feel different if the nude sunbather was male, & most def if the kids “peeking/ gawking” exposed , we’re all little girls. Pffft . I know the laws where I live. No clue where you live but not ok, no matter how we handle our own children. It’s a problem in your neighborhood !
NTA. The neighbor (dad) has 3 options, either talk to his daughter to put a bathing suit on; sit back and watch how boys oogle his daughter; or build a better fence. The daughter is in her right to sunbathe nude in HER backyard, but her and the father need to understand that the field is opened to the public. If there are cracks or gaps or holes in the fence where people can see his nude daughter, it falls on the father to put up a better fence. Neighbors with sons are under no obligation to fix a fence that is not theirs or stop peeping.
Not your monkey, not your circus.
What in the world? Imagine if this was a naked 22 year old man knowingly exposing himself to a bunch of minors?? With the knowledge of his parent. You’re NTA, but they definitely are and probably criminal at that.
Luke and lascivious acts
Telling teenage boys not to look at a beautiful naked woman is like telling them not to breathe oxygen, at some point society is going to have to start re-learning common sense.
NTA OP talked to their son, the son says he stopped looking. Done. OP has fulfilled their parental duty.
This is all on the neighbors. We have a pool. I like to swim nude. But I don’t. Because I have neighbors and they can see into our yard. They didn’t sign up to see my pasty ass outside.
The 22 year old KNOWS people can see her, she’s the real A H here. There are options, she’s old enough to realize this. If nothing else, she could put a sheet over the fence so nobody can see through. Instead she’s got her dad going out and fighting with other neighbors. When you live near other people it’s your responsibility to make sure other people can’t see what you don’t want them to see.
NTA Hot chick’s dad needs to talk to the other parents, buy a better fence, or educate his daughter that right or wrong, males are going to look at a beautiful naked woman.
Dad might also educate her on the effects of sun damage. Her entire body will look a lot older. She won’t be the hot chick for long. She’s also risking skin cancer.
She needs to get a screen or cover the fence with sheets or maybe the dad could fit the fence. It’s ridiculous that she’s complaining to her father about it but doing absolutely nothing to prevent it herself.
A 22 year old going out in their yard nude in front of a bunch of kids? Sounds like a pedophile to me.
he can call the cops, but he won’t. his daughter is exposing herself to preteen boys.
NTA.
Daughter clearly likes the attention, the boys clearly like looking. The girls dad is the only one with an issue, he could fill the holes in the fence if he’s bothered.
NTA and why is her dad allowing her to lay outside nude? I would be telling my kids to get their own place if they want to do that.
UpdateMe
NTA and I think you mean “an unofficial hangout” rather than “basically an official hangout”
💥🤯
Sounds like the adult woman needs spoken to.
Yes she can sunbathe in her yard but your surroundings matter. What she’s doing with children around could be indecent in many areas.
She’s the one looking for attention.
That’s horrible. What’s the address so I can verify the fence is high enough??
His yard, his daughter, his fence. If not his fence, he can still make it peek-proof. I agree, it should not be a big deal, but if it is to him, hey, a peek-proof piece of curtain or plastic, a couple of nails should do the trick. If the peeking boys destroy this barrier to keep peeking there is a new situation that might involve the friendly neighborhood cop, or whatever. But anyway, not your ‘monkey’, not your circus, NTA.
At this point I’d just call the police, tell them a group of underage children are being exposed to an adult nude sunbather regularly. And when they come calling just tell the neighbor he said he wanted you to handle it so you did.
I have a feeling that the daughter is unbothered or maybe enjoys the attention or she wouldnt be out there every day. The parent just doesn’t like it and rather than trying to control their own child,they are trying to control other people’s
NTA – You did exactly what was required. You spoke to your child and set expectations and consequences. Beyond that nothing is in your control. What does your neighbor want? You patrolling the yard with a hose to spray down horny boys?
Sorry, the daughter loves the attention. She could put up a brier if it bothered her. Prolly fake post anyway.
NTA… this woman is bringing this on herself… is she really allowed to be nude outside? I mean even if its private property, its not really legal for people to walk outside in their front yards naked. So perhaps she is committing public nudity even in the back yard. They need to fix their fence as well…
if he continues to harass, threaten to call the police for her exposing herself to underage boys and have her labeled a sex offender, she will either stop, or they will fix the fence to prevent this…
She knows exactly what she is doing
She is at fault and can be arrested for that. Even if your inside your home and someone can see in, that’s on you.
I’d say fix the god dam fence then, get a screen to block the view, anyone would look at a beautiful woman naked, the spying through the fence bit is something that can be fixed, so fix it.
Shes a predator
NTA. An adult (22 f) appearing nude where minors and pre-teens can see is morally wrong at best, illegal and psychologically damaging at worst. I don’t care how physically attractive she is. This part of her personality is repulsive. And so is her dad’s for not seeing the person he raised for who she is.
> Am I responsible for trying to parent every other boy
Nope. I’m a father myself and this is how I’d have handled this.
The father could fix the holes in the fence? Talk to his daughter about the fact that there are young boys creeping on her so she is at least aware of it. It’s certainly not your responsibility to parent the other boys.
NTA if any of them approach you again call the police immediately and have them come back and explain to your idiot neighbors that what she’s doing is illegal. Yes she’s technically on her property BUT who tf sunbathes nudes where teens can see them. If this was a man the parents of the teenagers would be pissed and rightfully so
Ummm you are NOT allowed to be naked in any space viewable by the public. Its called indecent exposure and its no different than a man flashing his willy at little girls from his fron door. His daughter is breaking the law and he is allowing it to happen. Just laugh when the law shows up and he cries about jail time or fines. Holy crap how do the other parents feel about a grown woman contributing to the delinquency of their children?
Pop on over to R/Legaladvice
I googled this because I was curious and a lawyer’s website I found had the following to say
The laws in most states prohibit nudity in public places. Your backyard is considered a public place if your nudity is visible to others, for example, through an open window or sunbathing in the yard while naked.
So my best piece of advice would be to find out if it’s legal or not…and if it is not…even if its vauge…contact the non emergency police line and let the cops deal with this bullshit
How you, me, her parents or any of the other posters feel about nudity is moot
If it’s not legal or vague enough that the cops will recommend she wear a bathing suit as to not cause problems…then let the police deal with it so you don’t have to
Get the beeotch a spit roaster, so the pig can get an all over tan 😉
Here’s my take, that chic knows EXACTLY what she’s doing and the pervert enjoys it. I was told by a lawyer a couple years ago that once you step outside the door of your house it’s basically free game. Whether you are on the street, in your car, or sitting on your porch if you are outside of your house it’s not illegal for anyone especially your neighbors to take photos and video of you. Is it wrong, your damn right it is, but we live in a world of technology and either dwindling or nonexistent morals and values.
she’s a moron if she didnt see this coming. yes, she has rights but actions have consequences. is this guy afraid to tell his daughter to have some modesty?
$50 on amazon can buy a black fence cover and his problem would be sloved
Make a complaint to the police. It may not be illegal but nude sunbathing is quite inappropriate. Add the detail that dozens of underage boys are gathering to take a look.
Ponle un rastreador de apple a tu hijo. Hazte cargo solo de lo que te toca ti. El vecino debe hablar con los padres de los otros pervertidos. No es tu problema si ya te hiciste cargo de tu parte. Le toca a los demás ser responsables por sus hijos depravados.
If she can be seen that easily, fortunate she’s not been cited for public nudity.
Here this would still be illegal for her to do (indecent exposure) as chainlink fence does not qualify as reasonable expectation to privacy. So she is exposing herself. ..sounds like to minors no less.
Let nature take its course
If you’re going to sunbathe nude in the yard without a proper privacy fence, that’s kind of the risk you take
not your problem, either she stops sunbathing naked or her father fixes the fence
In your shoes I would turn it on him and call the police to accuse the girl of indecent exposure while she knows that young kids are playing nearby and their fence is see-through. That should calm them down.
Ever hear of a person getting offended for people looking at them on a nude beach? No. Because they’re choosing to expose themselves in a public area. Yes, the yard is private, but come on.
Buddy, I’m a 46 year old man, married with kids, and I’d look at a 22 year old woman, nude, sunbathing. Staring? No. Look? Yes. I can only imagine what is going through those kids’ minds. She’s in her yard, and the kids are in theirs. What are you supposed to do? Hang a curtain? She needs to own it or put clothes on if it makes her uncomfortable.
NTA. Why would you care?! This has literally nothing to do with you. If the daughter has a problem, she needs to do this in a way nobody can see her. If the dad has a problem, he needs to put something up to cover the fence. Hang up some towels over the chain link, it’s not rocket science.
NTA. If your son is not involved, you have no reason to care at all.
I suspect the daughter is an exhibitionist and she’s getting her kicks from all the attention.
“Daddy – make them stop!” – yeah, right.
If it doesn’t bother the girl enough to get the fence fixed or stop sunbathing nude, what’s the problem? My husband used to like to walk around in our fully fenced yard nude. We had an east Asian neighbor with an older teen/young 20s daughter who one day “accidentally” saw him over the fence because she was on a ladder possibly picking some grapes or other fruit/vegetable. Then she “accidentally” saw him a few more times. My husband said he just ignored her because he’s really not self conscious and would happily go around naked everywhere if it was legal. But I guess her dad noticed her lingering on the ladder one day and he looked over and FLIPPED OUT on her. We got along well with the neighbors so the dad apologized to my husband and said he was going to make sure to keep his daughter off the ladder going forward. FWIW, I love my husband but he’s not outstandingly attractive or anything but teens are naturally curious.
Maybe they should fix the fence.
Pics or it didn’t happen lol
NTA. Not one of the other kids is your responsibility and your neighbor expecting anything from you past talking to your own kid is beyond unreasonable.
NTA, and it’s debatable whether or not she is committing a crime depending on state public indecency laws.
For example, in my state, if someone sees your privates from a public place, you are at fault for it and will be charged, not the peeping Tom.
Look up your local laws if you wish, but honestly, if your son isn’t involved, then it really doesn’t concern you anymore.
If he got time to be tracking down boys. He got time to get better fence for his daughter to have privacy.
NTA.
You cannot police the whole neighborhood
This is creepy. A grown woman displays herself to children daily. If she cared she’d put a tarp over the fence or a screen around her sunbed, this is intentional. This is disturbing to me and I detest the double standard. Imagine if the boys’ parents reported her to the cops!
Depending on where you live you have a duty to not expose yourself in a way that is easily accessible to casual viewing. It would be one thing if it required peeking through knotholes in a wood fence, but if passersby can see you clearly without going to extra effort, it’s exhibitionism and you’re the one who has the responsibility to close off the viewing access.
Invite him over to test the fence himself. Take a picture of him.
Hehehe.
NTA. What kind of dumbass 22-year-old sunbathes naked next to a park and expects privacy.
Sounds like it’s all the neighbors problem to me. He can get his fence fixed.
NTA. He needs to fix the fence, or she needs to stop sunbathing if she feels her privacy is being violated and she feels unsafe. Aside from disciplining your own kid, what are you supposed to do about it? He has more options (and responsibility, with the fence) than you do.
NTA
You DID care.
YOU took care of YOUR son.
You can’t do more than you have done.
They have options on their end:
They spoke to the families of known peepers.
(That’s then out of their control)
Fix the fence, place privacy panels, privacy strips, would be at the top of the list.
IF YOU want to be nude in your yard, the burden of ensuring privacy is on you. Morally and legally.
Knowing their yard isn’t secure and anyone passing by can see, maybe stop nude sunbathing if that’s a worry…
Buy a tanning bed
Utilize landscaping to create a private spot
Buy a tube top and a strapless underwear (I can’t recall what it’s called but it’s used for just this scenario. Looks like a period pad.)
And other options.
THEY have an issue. THEY have options.
You have done your part. You have no more power over the neighborhood kids that aren’t yours than they do.
Where I come from, even if you’re at your home or in your yard, if people on the street can see you naked, it’s exhibitionism and it’s a felony. So if people in the park can see that lady naked in her yard, then it’s somehow her problem, and she clearly knows people can see her, so she becomes the problem.
NTA – sounds like the neighbor needs to teach their 22 yo daughter about modesty and TBH, she knows EXACTLY what she’s doing and she likes it. She wants the attention. If she was outraged by it, SHE, herself, would stop doing it because she’d feel violated.
Bro needs to talk to his own daughter. The end.
NTA.
NTA
And I would wager the daughter isn’t all that put out by being watched by the teenagers and is maybe enjoying the attention or she would take steps to be less conspicuos. Heck a foldable screen would likely solve the whole problem by blocking the view. You aren’t going to be able to control a park full of teenagers.
It honestly feels like the father is more pissed because his daughter has an exobisionist streak and is taking it out on you.
You took responsibility for your kid and that’s all that can be expected of you.
Are you the neighborhood parent now or something?
NTA
She should do it at night when the boys are home and it’s too dark to see her sunbathing nude. Problem solved
NTA. Tell your neighbor that if he’s really concerned, build something like this that’s only 4ft tall out of PVC that she can setup around her while out there and take down when done.
NTA – You totally did right by your son by telling him to stop and not be a creep. However, if you’re naked outdoors, you have no real expectation of privacy. Someone can look through a fence, climb a tree, or look out a second floor window. If you’re visible to someone without them having to trespass, that’s your problem.
Remember, it’s not a problem till she or the police say it is.
Tell your neighbor to fix his fence and the problem will go away
and by the way you’re NTA
And if she keeps doing it, knowing there are teenage boys watching her, then she’s enjoying it
Where exactly is this field? Asking for a friend.
He should tell his adult 22 year old daughter this is her problem to deal with and he is not going to be involved.
Why don’t they just fix the fence???
Why isn’t the dad of the naked sunbather making the daughter stop? That’s the real question.
If she’s in view of a public park and completely naked, this might be illegal. Call the police and be done with it. NTA