For context, I have been vegetarian my whole life. My mom says ever since the very first time they tried to feed me meat when I was 1 I’ve been refusing to eat it. They thought I’d grow out of it but I never did. The rest of my family has always eaten meat.
My sister was having a pizza party to celebrate her birthday (37). I asked what pizzas they were ordering and she listed off a bunch of meat ones. I was like “okay no problem, I’ll just order my own”. She said no, she doesn’t like vegetarian pizza. I told her that I don’t eat meat (something she knows very well since she’s older than me and has literally known me my whole life) and if there aren’t any meat-free pizzas I won’t have anything to eat. She said it’s her birthday so she gets to pick the food.
I was like fine, whatever, it’s not worth fighting over, I’ll just eat salad and sides. She said they weren’t getting any because she only wants pizza. So I said I’d just bring something else for me to eat. That wasn’t okay with her, because it’s a PIZZA party. At this point I had enough so I just told her I hope she has a lovely birthday party and I’ll see her at our parents place in two weeks for the bbq they’re having. I didn’t go to her party and now she’s mad.
The thing is, my sister and I have a long history of clashing. She has a very set idea on how people should be and I don’t fit that template in many ways. I tell her that she can live how she likes and I won’t comment but she needs to let me live how I like without comment. She doesn’t have to agree but she has to accept that it’s my choice and it doesn’t affect her in any way (I’m not like a murderer or anything, I’m talking more like she doesn’t approve of how I decorate my house, or that I don’t want a promotion at work because I’m happy in my position. Things like that).
So anyways, this fight is about more than pizza, it’s about me choosing to be something she doesn’t think I should be and her trying to force my hand. I decided a few years ago that I wasn’t going to engage when she’s like that, and my brother agrees and thinks our sister was being ridiculous and passive aggressive, but my parents think I should have just kept the peace since it was her “special day” and come to the party then just eaten in the way home.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA. Has she never heard of a cheese pizza? It’s pretty much a staple at any/all pizza parties. She’s 37 years old and acting like a petulant child in this instance.
No, she intentionally made it so YOU could not attend.
No, NTA in the slightest!
And unless your parents were offering to pick all the meat of your slices so you could eat them, their contribution is pointless and they can mind their own business.
A number of AHs in this tale, OP, but you aren’t one of them!
Your sister is the AH. You offered to order your own pizza, eat a salad or even bring your own food. Your sister is being difficult. Your sister is the AH and your parents indulging in her bratty behavior also makes them Aholes as well.
Sorry, had to re-read her age, she is 37? Lol. NTA, your sister is a child.
NTA. Also, your sister is too damn old to be acting so precious about a birthday party. Being controlling aside, she’s not even celebrating a milestone. She’s picking the weirdest hills to die on.
She was deliberately and unecessarily an AH. Most omnivores can and do happily eat vegetables. I am confident your sister does too. There is zero reason not to have just one veggie pizza amongst the meat ones.
When she told you that you couldn’t order one yourself or bring any alternative food it made it extremely obvious she was being super nasty deliberately.
Why on earth would she expect you to attend when she made it extremely clear you were not welcome, or did she actually expect you to come and be hungry because of her weird hangup?
The suggestion that the victims of poor behaviour should be the ones to keep the peace needs to DIE A DEATH RIGHT NOW!
NTA
NTA, Does she not know that veggie pizzas exist? It would still fit into her “pizza party” theme and be able to accomodate everyone. This was just her trying to pull a power move and it failed so she’s mad. Just continue to ignore her.
How does she have friends? Because this is how you don’t have any.
NTA. She was purposely making it impossible for you to eat anything.
No, of course, no. You tried to accommodate her pizza-party idea by suggesting that you would even bring your own food! If she says no to that, she is to blame for you not coming. Having said that, I have sometimes eaten at home in order not to eat at my friends place, because he is such a lousy cook. So, that could have been an alternative, but I imagine that she would have turned down it as well. All in all, do not waste your time on thinking about this.
“keep the peace” for her “special day”?!?! Bitch, the woman is Thirty-Seven!!! NOT Seven!
Precious Princess needs to grow up and understand that she either don’t always get her way or she simply has less people around her. It’s all due to HER actions, and if she can’t be grown up and acknowledge that then heyyyyyy… you do you mommy’s SpEsHiaL little guuuurrrl.
Obvs NTA
So when it’s your special day you won’t be forced to have meat around just so your sister can come? NTA
NTA, Your parents are the real a holes here.
She’s not in any way subtle in her behaviour and attitude. And the fact that your parents are so used to it and expect everyone to keep pacifying her dodgy behaviour is gross too.
When will people stop pandering to bullies???
Just because they are family doesn’t make them any less of a bully, toxic or cruel…
Good on you for standing your ground. Definitely not the AH
NTA
37 and acting like that? She was making it clear this party was all about HER and intentionally making it so you wouldn’t attend.
Your parents need to stop kissing her ass. Her “special day” she is 37 years old not 17.
Since when is a cheese pizza considered vegetarian? It’s vegetarian friendly.
NTA
NTA – she was telling you that YOU WERE NOT WELCOME. She just didn’t speak those words.
There are 8 billion people on this planet and every single one of us has a birthday every single year. I don’t get why every birthday is so fucking special.
I call bs on this one. Points for originality though not one of the usual tired out pieces of fiction. Least I haven’t come across this idea before.
(1) Unless you weren’t fed meat for the first time until you were a small child with reasonable worldly experience to distinguish between meat and vegetables and forming a reason for such a choice, as a toddler or baby you would not have had the cognitive reasoning skills required to make a choice like that unless there was some serious medical reason to rejecting meat. Which you haven’t stated.
(2) your sisters reaction to all your suggestions is so ridiculously over the top.
(3) the convenient narrative of how she has always been to validate the story
Need to research your ideas a bit better. Good luck next time.
Tell your parents it’s her turn to keep the peace, being as she’s the one who broke it in the first place.
She doesn’t want you there. I’d oblige her and do something else. NTA
NTA Your sister was hosting a party for herself, suspicious in itself, but that’s for another discussion. People attending were her guests. You don’t dictate to your guests their dietary preferences. Case closed.
NTA. Really, who turns 37 and acts like a toddler? She could’ve just ordered a simple cheese pizza for you.
NTA.
Geez a cheese pizza would have been such trouble?
Your parents are to blame as well as they agreed with her ridiculous stipulations. Glad you didn’t go to her party.
Total power play move from her side.
Trying to force you to eat meat.
Well, if at the age of 37 she still doesn’t know how to accomodate her guests, then she shouldn’t invite them.
NTA
Have a veggie pizza at home.
Lol wtf?
NTA but this has to be fake. No parent will say “keep the peace” when it comes to making their vegetarian adult child eat pizza with meat.
No way this is real. I’ve never heard of a pizza party without even just some plain cheese pizza
NTA you offered several compromises which she flatly refused. She made it so you felt and were unwelcome so why would you want to be there? Your parents supporting her instead of pointing out to her how she was wrong to exclude you will just continue to reinforce her bad behavior. The fact the she is 37 and continues to carry on this way is ridiculous , she seriously needs to get over herself and grow up!
NTA and your sister is banned from having vegetatian food! Meat in and on everything. Hope she enjoys frozen steak cubes in her lemonade and minced meat in chocolate ice cream.
NTA – is your sister 12 or 37? She acted so childish I don’t blame you for not attending. There are loads of veggie pizza options and I bet others would have eaten them too. Your parents are also enabling her behaviour. That was not right and they should have told her that.
Funny how these people who rabbit on about “keeping the peace” always expect you to compromise the way you live your life, rather than expecting it of the other side of the conflict. NTA
How dare you not sit there miserable and hungry IT’S MY BIRTHDAAAAY!!!
NTA your sister is behaving like a spoilt 6 year old, not an adult. She either didn’t want you there or wanted to watch you suffer, she’s an absolute piece of … work.
Brand New account, no posts. This is just rage bait. So sick of this crap
I’m sorry your sister is such a bitch
Dear God.
Next birthday have a veggie party and tell her you won’t allow any meat and see how she likes it. NTA
NTA. She’s 37 going on 10. And your parents are enabling that.