I (F 23) am in a predicament, my best friend ( f 22) of a couple years has put me in a tough position. To give some context I met her about 3 years ago and we grew close very fast. I introduced her to all my cousins and we all became friends. Not long after.. she started dating my cousin and hid it from me for almost a year. After finding out, I was upset at her for hiding it but I got over it eventually. Their relationship didn’t last long and they broke up and it was pretty ugly. She has been depressed and crying over it for months and I’m honestly fed up. That’s not even the whole story, only july 4th my cousins played a prank on her by creating an AI image of a girl sitting in her ex bfs car (my cousin) to mess with her. I admit that it was wrong and they shouldn’t have done it. But now she’s blaming me and saying that I should’ve had her back. She’s expecting me to drop my cousins and put them in their place. Mind you, I had absolutely nothing to do with the whole situation and she’s wanting to drop me over this. Am I really the ass hole for not wanting to drop my cousins?
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: I (F 23) am in a predicament, my best friend ( f 22) of a couple years has put me in a tough position. To give some context I met her about 3 years ago and we grew close very fast. I introduced her to all my cousins and we all became friends. Not long after.. she started dating my cousin and hid it from me for almost a year. After finding out, I was upset at her for hiding it but I got over it eventually. Their relationship didn’t last long and they broke up and it was pretty ugly. She has been depressed and crying over it for months and I’m honestly fed up. That’s not even the whole story, only july 4th my cousins played a prank on her by creating an AI image of a girl sitting in her ex bfs car (my cousin) to mess with her. I admit that it was wrong and they shouldn’t have done it. But now she’s blaming me and saying that I should’ve had her back. She’s expecting me to drop my cousins and put them in their place. Mind you, I had absolutely nothing to do with the whole situation and she’s wanting to drop me over this. Am I really the ass hole for not wanting to drop my cousins?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We’d like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you’ll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we’ll drop a link so you can see our host’s take on your story.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
ESH. Your cousins are immature assholes and your best friend is also immature. She made a choice to date your cousin behind your back and now is upset when you don’t have her back? It doesn’t work that way. And your cousins really pulled an asshole move (not even a joke) and really do need to genuinely own up and apologize.
In the end though it sounds like you need to sit them all down and tell them to grow up and leave you out of it.
YAH – I was with you, until the AI bullsht. Even if you didn’t create the AI stuff, that’s next level creepy, cold and probably illegal? She shouldn’t have hidden dating your cousin, that’s weird too. I would unfollow all of you.
🤔 She deliberately hid her relationship with your cousin for many months. (Was it a relationship, FwB, or just occasionally “hooking up?” If you’re close with your cousins, how else could it have been “hid?”)
So now, the rest of your cousins (not the hooking up one) have photoshopped a pic of some int’net chick with his vehicle; she feels humiliated, so you’re supposed to “cut all ties with your family!” for a woman you’ve known for 3 years?
Interesting.
NTA – let’s recap, your friend lied by omission that she was dating your cousin. If she thought it was okay, why would she lie? Your cousins were mean with their “prank” but she & your cousin have already broken up. You need better friends. Are you truly willing to cut off your family? You did nothing wrong. Find better people to surround yourself with.
Her drama is not your problem. That’s not a friend
NTA, tell her that you are not part of this, then tell your cousins the relationship is over and stop acting like jerks.
Your friend is being completely unreasonable. She hid a relationship with your cousin for a year, that’s on her. The AI prank was wrong, but you had ZERO to do with it. Expecting you to cut off your family over something they did, not you, is stupid. Her emotional distress doesn’t give her a pass to demand you sacrifice your own long-term relationships for her drama.
I feel like her hiding her relationship with your cousin for a whole year and then wanting you to cut off family cause it ended badly is messed up. And holding you accountable for something your cousins did that you had nothing to do with is also messed up. I think you should let her cut you off. 3 years of friendship one of with she was lying about a huge part of her life and now she’s making demands? She’s toxic, your cousins are wrong but shes toxic.
Are your cousins 12? wtf
NTA. You’ve only known her for 3 years and she lied to your face all year for 1 of them. Please research healthy friendships. This is not one of them. Let her go.
jeeez – your ‘best friend’ dates your cousin for A YEAR without telling you? Seriously? That is your best friend?
Your title is incorrect, according to the body of your post. BFF did not demand that you “drop your family”. She is upset that you stood by and watched as your immature cousins mocked her sadness with the AI shit. She wanted to you to object to your cousins immature antics. Your silence made you complicit.
As you said, BFF keeping her relationship with your cousin from you is kinda normal in your culture. So in that regard, she is not the ass.
Therefore, taken together — YTA.
This is what happens when you date your best friend’s family member.
Yeah, they are being AH’s an you can call them out on that – but she FA’ed and now needs to FO.
That’s why you don’t date your friends family lol how tf you gonna ask someone to choose between family and friend when it wasn’t an abusive relationship or anything else for people to choose sides over? Get bent.
Why should she care what if her ex BF has a girl sitting in his car? How is this a cruel prank? It’s stupid. It’s juvenile. But cruel? Nah. Y’all need to get over yourselves. ESH.
NTA – not your circus, not your monkeys; even if you are related to them.
This is all your friend’s problem and honestly, I’d be dropping the drama queen before the cousins.
Pick a new friend. She hid the relationship from you for a year- now you are supposed to drop your family for her? Over a stupid prank? Btw, they all sound very immature.
I understand not wanting to cut them out completely, but yea 100% YTA for not shaming them for being cvnts