I (M29) around a year ago was asked from a friend if I would donate my sperm as her partner is shooting blanks and they really want a child together. At first I wasn’t bothered a just said sure but only when they are ready. My partner was okay with it too.
Around 6 months ago me and my partner had a dissagreement to which this “friend” called me up and said awful nasty things. She brought up my abusive childhood and said “no wonder your mum abused you”. None of this had anything to do with her. I cut all ties with her.
Recently she told my partner they were ready for a baby and would like my donation. I politely said no and when asked why I told them. She then kicked off and told me to grow up as it was in the past.
To me i can’t let something like that slide and personally I don’t want her to raise a child knowing it is technically mine and bringing it up to be the nasty person she can be.
So… Am I the AH?
Comments
…. You’re nta
BTA seems like she burned her bridges with her comments …
Not understanding why your partner is still talking to her. NTA
NTA, careful about donating sperm without contracts in place as well. They can get you in court for child support.
Recommend you get a legal agreement if you do decide to donate.
NTA at all. They can go to a sperm bank if they want a baby that bad.
So wait, you and your partner got into a disagreement and your friend took your partners side against you?
If im understanding this correctly then definitely do not give her your sperm. She could easily flip sides at any point and try to legally use that against you if things ever go wrong.
This is exactly the worst person to donate sperm to.
I wouldn’t want my bio child being raised by people who would say such horrible things. NTA.
Your body, your choice. No is a complete sentence.
NTA. Tell them that you will never donate for people that are as mean and vile as them.
She’s willing to use someone’s child abuse against them. Don’t do it – she’d be a horrible parent.
NTAH, and also, even if that didn’t happen, they can’t force you, nor they should make you feel guilty about not doing it.
you are NTA, and I would tell her exactly what you said in your last paragraph,
” I don’t want her to raise a child knowing it is technically mine and bringing it up to be the nasty person she can be.”
They can go to a sperm bank.
Good, no one should help someone like that breed. The poor hypothetical child doesn’t deserve that life. And if they could afford a child, they could afford an anon donor from a spank bank.
NTA. She sounds like trouble though. Stay away from her
NTA, she FAFO, you can’t talk shit to people and then expect them to still do things for you. It doesn’t work like that.
Yeah good luck with future child support if you go ahead, did you even think about the future possibilities of what could happen if you go through with this?
Plus she had a real nerve asking after what she said
NTAH
You shouldn’t donate sperm like this. Always go through reputable agencies, or speak to a lawyer to establish some type of contract. I don’t exactly know how that would work, but there have been several cases where a relationship went sideways, and the parent/parents went after the donor for child support.
“No wonder your mum abused you”?“I’m not donating anything to you. God made you infertile for a reason.”
NTA.
Dude if you want to be paying for a child that technically is yours but you have no other say in how you raise the child other than financial support you then go right ahead and give them your sperm
NTA. Run.
Also, do not donate sperm unless it’s through a licensed professional. I’m most locations, person to person donate makes you responsible regardless if was sex or not, or if there was a contract.
Nta. When you originally agreed you were helping out a friend, and now you are no longer friends. And not friends have to go to the local swimmer bank and pay to buy those things. If she really wants to have your DNA then tell her you are willing to make a donation at said bank where you will be paid and she can pay for it before someone else does.
NTA she shouldn’t be having children
Nope. Don’t shoot a gift horse in the mouth.
Tell them you’re sorry you were being petty and you’ve decided to let bygones be bygones.
Give them some mayonnaise mixed with water.
Be sure to let them know there’s more where that ‘came’ from, as long as they wish to keep trying.
We don’t need people like that reproducing so you’d be doing the world a favor.
Worrying about childhood is no different than worrying about the childhood of any child she raises.
I would have changed my mind, too.
If she wants sperm from someone she’s not even close enough to talk with, she can buy it from a bank.
Seriously — what happened in “the past” ended the friendship. She should have known the donation was off the table now.
NTA
NTA people can’t abuse you then ask for your sperm, i wouldnt want someone like that raising my child.
NTA. This is one of the nastiest things to say to someone. Had very similar experience. The person is not in my life anymore.
Ewwww….. That’s really icky. I’d be running the other way as fast as I can.
NTA
NTA tell her to get fucked (for what it’s worth). You reap what you sow.
All puns intended.
NTA. It’s completely fair to change your mind about something as serious as sperm donation after being treated so horribly and seeing someone’s true colors.