A bit of context: our college has a project workshop where 2nd-3rd year students make orders from real companies in teams. This is a mandatory thing for everyone.
Since this year, our college has changed its structure so that now there is a school of project management. Now those who are there will instead of participating in projects practice as managers of these projects and simultaneously learn all this.
The vice-rector invited me and 30 other people from different years and programs through the portal to the chat of this school. At a meeting before the start of the school year, they explained to us what we would do and said that now you are the “elite” who work close to the rector and will be the first to receive references, access to internships and employment after college.
The vice-rector told us “if you know a person who should participate, but we didn’t invite them, urgently send me their name and group in private messages”. I knew at least 4 people from the team who would 100% be a good manager. These 4 people were not in the school chat.
Before that, I worked for the entire 2nd year in a team where we were tutors for teams of analysts from first-year students. There were 14 of us. I ASSUMED that they ALL received the same invitations as me. Because we were already in the sight of the college management as reliable people.
So I thought that I would not send the names of these 4 people, because I thought that they were invited and they refused.
Yesterday it turned out that one of the 4 girls wanted to become a project manager in the future, but the school had already closed the recruitment. When she found out that I was there, she started getting angry that I hadn’t invited her. I thought that all the tutors were invited. It turned out that I was the onlythe fuck one who was invited.
Now she is angry with me for blocking her path to her dream career and thinks that I did it on purpose so as not to create competition for myself.
AITAH?
I’ll explain my logic: those 4 people were the best of the team. The chain of reasoning was: “I’m worse than everyone else -> I got an invitation -> that means the whole team got invitations and it goes without saying that those 4 people did too -> they’re not in the chat -> they declined”
I was also shocked that I was the only one who was invited because of good work ethics. In fact, we were managing people there, so logically, they all probably should have been invited because they also worked a lot and were known in the department. Especially those who survived until the end of the year and did not quit.
Comments
NTA. You didn’t purposely block her, you just assumed everyone else from your group got the same invite. It sucks that she missed out, but that’s not your fault it was the school’s responsibility to reach out, not yours. At most it’s a misunderstanding, not you sabotaging her career.
You thought of all of these people and did not send their names to the rector because of what you ASSumed they would do? YTA
YTA
It would be such a minimal effort for you to refer your friends or check if they wanted a referral. It’s literally good karma that can only do good for everyone.. think why your friends weren’t important enough for that minimal effort.
Sidenote – women are often “forgotten” in cases like that.
NTA. It wasn’t malicious or intentional.
My friend once blamed me for not telling her about a job opening, turns out she never checked her emails. Sometimes people need to blame someone else instead of owning their part. NTA.