I (28F) am getting married in September. My sister (32F) has a history of hijacking important events she announced her pregnancy at my college graduation, got drunk and cried loudly through my engagement party, and even wore white to my bridal shower.
My fiancé and I decided to have a small wedding with only close friends and family who are supportive. When I told my sister she wasn’t invited, she freaked out, called me selfish, and said I was “tearing the family apart.”
My parents are pressuring me to include her to “keep the peace,” but I’m honestly exhausted.
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/BlushOrbity:
I (28F) am getting married in September. My sister (32F) has a history of hijacking important events she announced her pregnancy at my college graduation, got drunk and cried loudly through my engagement party, and even wore white to my bridal shower.
My fiancé and I decided to have a small wedding with only close friends and family who are supportive. When I told my sister she wasn’t invited, she freaked out, called me selfish, and said I was “tearing the family apart.”
My parents are pressuring me to include her to “keep the peace,” but I’m honestly exhausted.
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Honestly, it sounds like you’ve set a healthy boundary, and your wedding should be a space for joy, not damage control. You’re not responsible for managing your sister’s behavior.
I’m betting your parents have a habit of accepting/condoning your sister’s behavior. You know her track record. So do they. They are apparently comfortable letting her drama come before your needs.
Don’t let them pressure you into having anything less than the day you want. Stress free, which means sister free. NTA.
You can invite who you want to your wedding, but you should really invite family you get on with.
I would have thought it would be difficult to hijack someone’s wedding though. TBH I would be wondering what she could come up with.
INFO: does your sister know why she’s not invited? Have you calmly explained that her choices had a harmful impact on you?
I understand why you’re setting this boundary and if you explained it compassionately, then NTA.
I do think that people sometimes forget that not being an AH doesn’t mean there won’t be repercussions down the line, or that your family dynamics will be uncomfortable for a while. It sounds like you fully understand that. I wish you a beautiful wedding!
Is everyone “blowing up your phone”? That’s the other favorite AI catchphrase. YTA for posting this ChatGPT crap.
NTA. “Keeping the peace” by inviting someone who does everything but is simply a bad idea. Congratulations, both on your wedding and on growing a spine and enforcing reasonable boundaries in the best possible way,
She has bad credit.. tell her the bank is not going to approve her application.
NTA
But high chance she will crash the wedding and make it about that drama. Make it a big deal how you didn’t invite her. Do U have security to make sure she can’t get in?
This one is tough.. because she will sabotage you anyway. Make a big stink about it forever.
My solution.. let her come but then tell her that if she tries anything she leaves. Let your family also be there like a mini intervention .. Keep your enemy close. Her being out there is going to be far worse and unpredictable.
NTA. Your wedding is supposed to be about you and your fiance not an exercise of alleviating your sister. She’s had plenty of chances to show respect and hasn’t.
Do what you want to do. Screw her.
NTA, you should tell your parents that their enabling behavior is helping you decide on how much they’ll get to be allowed in your future children’s lives.
Seems fake. Classic golden child entitlement story.
NTA. “Sis I know how important it is for you to be the center of attention. Just imagine how much attention you’ll get by playing the victim and acting like a 5 year old. Really you should be thanking me”.
Would she crash it? Would you consider eloping? If she wants to be center of attention I wonder if she would crash it and launch into some tirade about you… eloping and then doing something still excluding her? I would tell no one any details and put passwords with vendors
NTA. When your parents tell you to “keep the peace” they mean THEIR peace, not yours.
Tell your parents “fiancé and I have thought about it, and we have decided it’s best if you two also skipped our wedding. We want people who love and support us, and it’s clear you don’t love or support us. If you did, you wouldn’t insist on sister being there. You know her history, yet you two continue to tolerate her bullshit. I just wish I had grown a backbone sooner about her behaviour”
And stick to your guns on this. They have made their beds, and now they can lie in them
No. Do not give in here. She will ruin everything and make it about her and you will regret it for the rest of your life. Resentment soon follows.
NTA.
The ‘peace’ isn’t broken by you. It’s broken by your sister.
NTA, and I would tell your parents that one more word about your sis, they will be uninvited too. I bet they will choose your sis.
You don’t keep the piece for shitty persons with risk of destruction on your wedding day.
Screw her, she is a POS.
NTA
Tell sis yes .. if she agrees to wear a straight jacket and a muzzle.
NTA peace is never an option neither is taking the high road or being the bigger person. These are phrases people use to take advantage of nice people time and time again
NTA, Tell your parents you will miss having them at your wedding, but you really only want people there who support you.
The issue really is YOU.
She continues to show you who she is and yet you provide her with the platform to continue to do so?
Do you secretly have a humiliation fetish? Stop asking stupid questions on Reddit.
You know exactly what to do. Cut the shit. You have suddenly developed a backbone. You are not the asshole.
If anything you are too nice.
To keep what peace? If your sister behaves like this during “minor” events how would she behave at something huge as a wedding? Surely it wouldn’t be a peaceful event, you can tell your parents that “keeping the peace” is exactly what you are doing not inviting your sister, it’s just your peace and not hers
NTA as long as the sister knows why. Also if your parents know why she is not invited, you can tell them they will be uninvited too, unless they don’t stop pressuring you
Your wedding your rules. Don’t let her ruin every big life event.
NTA. It’s your wedding. Sounds like your sister needs therapy.
No one should be asked to “keep the peace” at their own wedding
The excuse “that’s just how she is” is what allowed her behavior to get to this point
NTA but be prepared for your parents to issue an ultimatum. Stick to your guns. It’s your wedding
NTA, your wedding your call. My guess is she won’t get any classier between now and then.
Who’s getting married? You are! Who gets to decide their guest list? You do!
If someone has an issue with your guest list, you can always make it lighter by uninviting them as well…
Tell your parents it’s her turn to keep the peace and she should do that by staying away from your wedding while simultaneously shutting up about it.
NTA
Tell me who the golden child without telling me! The to keep the peace crap is equal to take the trauma, toxicity and abuse!! Tell your parents they can either come or not but sister isn’t welcome period and unless they want to be cut out of your life they will drop it. You deserve to have a day for yourself and your new spouse period!!
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How many of these “self-centered sister of the bride” posts are there? Apparently thousands.
NTA… YOUR wedding, YOUR guest list, YOUR rules.
Personally, I wouldn’t have told her until right before the day of the wedding. Have security too.
NTA
Who’s “peace” are we keeping?
Tell sis and parents that they are “tearing the family apart by always enabling her attention-seeking behavior!”
NTA
It’s funny how when she disrupt your milestones that’s OK and not disruptive but yet when you set boundaries and made it clear that you don’t want to invite her for that very reason you’re breaking the family apart what’s with a double standard do what makes you happy because why should your event be disrupted again because of her insecurity and jealousy and always having to be the center of attention
Girl, your sister is an actual, intentional train wreck. I’ve got to say, you’ve invited her to more things than I would’ve, already. Absolutely stop including her in anything. It sounds like the only choice you’ve got. She’s just an active hot mess. I’d go so far as to hire security incase she shows up ready to make a scene.