I(F25) was with a guy (MM32) for 2 years. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because he didn’t feel a spark anymore and said that he doesn’t want to get married at all. When we were together that was both of our goals but he said he told me he never wanted to get married as he was married before for one year only ( I would’ve left if I had known the whole time)
Throughout the relationship he kept putting me through tests to see how true of a person I am ( I know lol I didn’t realize until later) but still I remained genuine and supported him for his goals (he was saving money to buy a house, has over 100k in savings and works 6days a week) and that finally we can be together as a couple happily. He put me through hell as I loved him silently.
Anyways he ended things with me and we were supposed to go on a date the day after and I was planning to tell him that I signed a lease for an apartment but I ended up telling him when we broke up for one thing only because he was going to come back
We went no contact and the day I was moving into the apartment he messaged me and I ignored it. Later again he messaged asking if he can ask a question I said sure and then he asked me if he can stay with me for one month. Under the circumstances of how everything went down between us, I said no.
So AITAH??
Edit: I know he was testing me again by asking if he can live with me just to see what I would say
Comments
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NTA. He is a major a-hole for even asking.
He is a douchebag and a monumental AH for even having the audacity to ask that..
He can use the 100k he used you to save up to find himself a place to live
NTA. He is TAH for asking
He can take all his saved money and get a hotel! Be glad to be rid of him!!
NTA, guy strung you along, and acted like an AH throughout your relationship. Absolute no. Let the negativity and the trash go.
Ohhhh sorry you were putting him through “future roommate” tests and he failed. You just don’t feel that “roommate spark”.
lol he unmade his bed, he can be unhoused in it 😂
NTA. Please block this loser and move on.
I find it hard to believe you seriously thought you might be the AH for this.
NTA and never allow anyone to live with you over a month. Then, you’ll have to evict them.
Btw, your ex is an AH.
NTA. He has $100,000 to fund his housing. There’s absolutely no reason why you need to spend a second more with him. What a cheap AH.
Why on earth would you be TA here? And why would he want to live with you after breaking up? I mean, I could understand if you were both on the lease of the apartment you were living in and neither of you could afford to move out right away. But this is YOUR apartment separate from wherever you’d both been living before he dumped you by the sound of it. NTA.
He purportedly has 100K in savings – let him rent his own apartment. That part about 100K might just be another one of his lies.
NTAH. The man has got $100K in the bank. He can stay at a hotel for a month. Absolutely do not let him stay with you because depending on where you live, he can claim tenancy and you’d have to evict him.
That guy is a HUGE red flag. If he doesn’t feel a spark or have any interest in marrying you then yes you should break up but what possible reason does he have to stay with you even if it’s for a month? Tf is he testing you for if he already said he doesn’t wanna be w you or sees a future with you? Absolutely NTA. Hit that block button & move on.
NTA. Go no contact with this crazy dude and his tests. What a poo head.
I’d bet he doesn’t have the 100K. In any case NTA.
NTA.
Never let an ex back in. They don’t leave.
And he’s already shown you how manipulative he is.
You can’t believe him about anything.
He thinks you are an easy target.
He’s rich he can get an Airbnb. He wants the benefits of still having a gf. Don’t let him wedge his foot in the door.
Nope block him
NTA – why on earth would you be? Of course you aren’t going to let your ex who dumped you after being an AH to you for two years move into your apartment.
Enjoy your solo living in your new place!
I would tell him if those drugs you on must be good if you think I want to see again. He is a real dickhead and not to smart to even ask
Nta. He sounds like his intentions, to use you, didn’t change even after he dumped you. So that is a heavy no. Block him.
Tell him your next boyfriend is testing you, and he said your apartment needs to be douchebag free. NTA
NTA be glad you are done with that walking red flag. Do yourself a favor and just completely go NC with him. You dont need to be tested through your relationship. I’ve been there and it’s not healthy! Enjoy your freedom from him. Enjoy your time and definitely dont let anyone, especially him, tear you down.
Why would you respond?
He has over 100k in the bank, he doesn’t need your help.
Holy hell this is dumb.
The audacity of this guy lol
Remember the kid’s book, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…”? This guy will overstay his welcome, and he will be a major pain, especially if you decide to date someone else. Or even if you don’t, but he gets suspicious. He sounds abusive, with his constantly testing you.
You’d have a much happier life with him in the rearview mirror, growing smaller by the minute.
Idk why you’re even asking. Grow a spine.
Just block the scum bag.
You signed an apartment lease without telling your bf? Did you know the relationship was about over?
You passed the test with flying colors. You said NO!!!
NTA because you did good & right for yourself.
Uh, what? No!
Why the hell would you allow him to stay with you? Why would he even ask?? Fucked up mind games on his part. He has all this money saved in the bank, he can house himself.
Tell him you failed the test. And you’re not interested in retaking it.
Went through the same thing with my ex-fiance. Always with these little tests, sometimes even hypothetically. What an AH he turned out to be.
Ew no. The worst part about breaking up with someone you live with is if one of you can’t move out right away and living in that gross limbo. The goal once you break up is to not live together. This is backwards.
I hope you laughed.
NTA
Block him and really go no contact. There’s no reason to communicate with him anymore now that you’re finally free of his bs.
NO! Fuck him.
NTAH, and it sounds like you dodged a bullet! I detest pop quizzes! My first husband pulled that crap (and more, thus ex). My second husband knows better, lol
NTA, he’s a moron! Block him
I’m sayin not no but Hell F….ing NOOOOO!!!
Block
Tell him you think a clean break would be better. He’s just trying to use you. NTA
NTA. You owe him nothing.
What a jerk. He did you a favor. Thank God you didn’t marry him. He is needs to grow up.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this b… NTA, not even a single but
NTA. You really need to figure out why you stayed with someone who was constantly testing you. He should not have been the one doing the breaking up. But you dodged a bullet when he did.
Nope!!!! Absolutely not!! Get on with life and don’t look back.
NTA tell him that’s a weird as hell ask from an ex and not to contact you again you no longer have any reason to interact at all
He had an enormous amount of chutzpah to even ask such a thing of you. Of COURSE you said no! You’d be crazy to let him stay with you.
NTA The audacity of this skidmark of a man! And if he actually has 100k in savings, I’ll be very surprised. Why would he need to crash with his ex if that were the case?
Some guys will never become men! He’s a dick!
30yr old man gets with a 23yr old woman just to fuck with her head, woman is too young and naive to clock what a sack of shit he is until she’s sunk a couple years into this loser. That definitely tracks for this sub.
NTA but good lord, sis, you need to block this sociopath!
Oh hell no. First of all, he sucks so absolutely not. You deserve peace. Second of all, once he lives there a month or has mail delivered, he’s established residency and you’ll have a VERY difficult time getting him out. DON’T DO IT.
How many Nopes are going to be necessary today? NTA
I would like to know why you think you might be the AH?
Testing you again? When do you pass the final exam? He has $100K. Now it’s time for you to test him😆. Does he love you enough to buy a house for the both of you😆? Nope!
Unless you have his crap still in your possession, block his ass and move on to better things
Test him–tell him he can move in but first he must give you a cashiers check for the total of one years rent, when he moves out a refund will be in order of the remaining funds. Then, WATCH HIM RUN…
Hard no. Block him.
‘put me through tests,’ please grow a spine and evict him from your life
what a A$$hole for even asking, tell him No and that you never want to hear from him ever again
NOOOOOOO you will be miserable, what is wrong with you?? F that guy
NTA. Stick your guns and lose his number. Glad you moved on. Most people find it difficult.
Absolutely NO.
He’s still playing stupid little games. Never ever ever contact him again.
Tell him it’s a $2,000 security deposit and his rent will be a number at least equal to your monthly rate. Make him sign a doc saying he has to pay both up front and if he doesn’t move out after 30 days he forfeits the security and still has to pay rent.
Make him put up cash or shut up and get out of your life.
Breaks up with you and asks to use you for a place to stay? NTA. He’s a loser.
He’s a psycho. Games are for children. Don’t play. Hard pass on living together for a month. Man, he sounds manipulative.
Live your best life & move on (without him).
You were his Plan B. He as your everything. Let him figure out Plan B.
Send a link to an Airbnb. He can afford it.
NTA, just block the SOB and move on.
Block him – HE is the AH!!!
NTA
Short answer: no.
Longer answer: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Fuck no.
NTA. He broke up with you. He doesn’t now get to move in with you. He can book a hotel with his savings.
Tell him to lose you number.
Do not give him your address, do not engage. Don’t fall for his tests. He can test the waters with his allegedly 100k savings.
No was the best answer! Good for you! He’s a jerk. Good riddance! Just using you and being cruel and gaslighting you.
No, he made it clear that he is not interested in being part of your life. Why on earth would you let a grown man that has a healthy savings account live with you? You are not his mother. Send him the link for Airbnb. He may find that helpful when he looks for temporary housing.
Hell, let him rent a hotel room until he finds a place
I bet you paid all the bills while he saved money. Block him.
NTA. BLOCK HIM and never look back.
Say no buh bye and don’t ever bother me again.
Oh, HELL NO!
Emotional proximity and intimacy are often exploited by crappy people. The only people who you should allow to benefit from emotional proximity and intimacy are those invested in maintaining it.
Nope, NTA. Once he got in and stayed for a month you’d have to legally evict him. Better just to go no contact.
NTA, but he most certainly is.
the AH is alllll him. you are NTA.
How can you even think you’re TA
Just block this guy and go in peace.
NTA. Your ex is a controlling AH tho, better to go NC with him.
Don’t even respond. Like why would you even need to?
NTA Do not let this manipulative hobo sexual in. He is too old to be doing all of this stuff.
Block this loser. You have nothing to gain from remaining in contact with him.
You did good. Leave him in your rearview mirror. Keep moving forward. I hope you find the love you deserve