So I (23m) have a car that I saved up for literally years to buy. I worked weekends and holidays from the age of 18 to afford it, and even did most of the maintenance on it myself. It’s nothing crazy expensive, but it’s my pride and joy.
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, (lets call him Josh 23M) was over at my place with a few others. We were chatting in the driveway when he made a joke like, “Bro you treat your car like it’s your girlfriend or something, it’s not that deep.” I just laughed it off but said, “Well yeah, I worked hard for it and I want to take care of it.”
Fast forward to this weekend. Josh texts me asking if he can borrow my car because his is in the shop and he has a date he “can’t miss.” I told him no, and he got annoyed, saying, “Come on, it’s just a car, why are you being so uptight?”
I reminded him that it’s my car, I’ve worked hard for it, and he literally mocked me for how much I care about it. He said I was being selfish and “holding a grudge over a joke.”
Now some of our mutual friends are saying should’ve just helped him out and that I’m being too sensitive. But I don’t think I owe anyone my car, especially someone who doesn’t respect how important it is to me.
AITAH
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So I (23m) have a car that I saved up for literally years to buy. I worked weekends and holidays from the age of 18 to afford it, and even did most of the maintenance on it myself. It’s nothing crazy expensive, but it’s my pride and joy.
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, (lets call him Josh 23M) was over at my place with a few others. We were chatting in the driveway when he made a joke like, “Bro you treat your car like it’s your girlfriend or something, it’s not that deep.” I just laughed it off but said, “Well yeah, I worked hard for it and I want to take care of it.”
Fast forward to this weekend. Josh texts me asking if he can borrow my car because his is in the shop and he has a date he “can’t miss.” I told him no, and he got annoyed, saying, “Come on, it’s just a car, why are you being so uptight?”
I reminded him that it’s my car, I’ve worked hard for it, and he literally mocked me for how much I care about it. He said I was being selfish and “holding a grudge over a joke.”
Now some of our mutual friends are saying should’ve just helped him out and that I’m being too sensitive. But I don’t think I owe anyone my car, especially someone who doesn’t respect how important it is to me.
AITAH
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> I felt like my friend was being too entitled to my car when he decided to mock all the time and effort I spent in buying it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA Borrowing someone’s car is a huge ask, and even if they hadn’t made fun of your car, you would still be allowed to say no.
NTA you are in fact right. You don’t owe anyone anything.
NTA. You don’t owe anyone your car, even if they admired it. It’s super important to you, and no one will care as much for it as you do. Make a blanket policy that you don’t lend your car and stick to it.
You made the right decision. It sounds like your friend doesn’t think it’s important to take care of his cars, so he would probably take care of yours even less.
Nta
Where i live borrowing cars just doesnt happen as unless you are a named driver on a cars insurance you are basically an uninsured driver. So borrowing and lending cars is weird to me.
As a general point the car is the most expensive thing you own. Of course you are going to be careful about it. Someone who borrows it wont pay the same attention.
“its just a date bro its not that deep” NTA
NTA. Your Car, your rules. Period.
By the way, many insurance dont allow a second driver who isnt family
NTA first it’s your car you don’t owe him anything, second he won’t impress anyone with HIS FRIEND car it’s not his nothing to be proud of…
Not an asshole but a lil soft , but that’s okay being that it’s your car you can be as sensitive as you want , I don’t think the joke was meant to be harmful, but you guys should be able to joke about things like that
He’s not on your insurance. If he has an accident you’re screwed.
NTA If your friends think he’s entitled to borrow a car, they are welcome to let this so-called friend drive theirs. You don’t owe this AH a damned thing,
NTA. Your car, your decision, period. You do not owe him the use of your car. Is he insured on your car, NO. Does he pay the notes on your car, NO. Is he an entitled prick, YES. Just because you have something, does not mean that your friends are entitled to use it whenever they want. Clearly no one cares as much about your things as you do, ever. If you want to lose the car or have it damaged then, let him use it. Fuck them all.
You are always entitled to have your own things and you make the decisions regarding the use of those things. Don’t second guess your decisions, you made a choice that was in your best interest. He didn’t like it and tried to guilt you into letting use the car, fuck him. The friends that are backing him up are not your real friends, fuck them too. BTW did any of them loan him their car? I bet not. Take care of yourself and your things don’t let those “friends” shame you for standing up for your choices.
NTA
Here’s the rule, if something is very important to you, you don’t loan it out. Period. There are so many options available to your friends for transport that you don’t need to give them yours.
One question? Would he pay out of his pocket if he wrecked it? Of course not!!!! F him, let him get his own transportation, while his vehicle is I. The shop, which he broke : tore up , so no, you’re not the ah, he is for even asking,
How many of your mutual “friends” have offered to lend their cars?
NTA
NTA. Dude could just uber if the date is that serious.
Or, just tell him that, for the low price of $69.99, you can impersonate an Uber driver, and drop them off and pick them up. Seems like a pretty good compromise!
Tell him you don’t list it on Turo, and maybe he should think about what the value of the beholder is.
NTA- The entitlement is unreal.
NTA
Pettiness aside. His mocking of you told you that he doesn’t think cars are worth caring about and is the kind of guy to bring it back damaged and be like “It’s just a car, it’s not that big of a deal.” As a car guy, screw those types of people when it comes to my vehicles.
Never lend your car out, period. And he’s an asshole. So double the reason to not do it. NTA.
NTA to not loan your car out with out a reason. Also generally not a good idea as your liable for their driving if they get a ticket and are liable for accidents.
NTA, your mutual friends can loan him their car, lol.
Never loan out your car. Especially to someone who can’t understand about taking care of something that expensive. If something happens, you’ll bear the brunt of the expense and inconvenience. His car, his scheduling of repairs, his date, his responsibility – get it?
Maybe the mutual friends should offer up their car!
NTA, the rule here is simple. Never lend your car to anyone.. I have made exceptions only for my own mother and father.. my foolishly trusting mom then let some fools borrow my turbo sports car while I was away.. they blew the engine
“No. I don’t let anyone drive my car who isn’t on the insurance.”
NTA.
NTAH- Never lend your car out whether you love it or not. You’re legally libel for any damages your car causes others or to your car. Bad practice.
NTA – his “joke” tells you how he’ll treat your car. Why have the ‘mutual friends’ not loaned their cars to him?
NTA. No one has the right to drive your car. Period.
NTA
Unless your friend has money to pay for your car, they shouldn’t be driving it anyways.
There’s a reason the bank won’t give them any money to buy their own
Tell your friends that’s fantastic: ALL of their cars are available for him; he can pick from among them.
You’re NTA even if he hadn’t poked fun at you. It’s your car, you have every right to tell someone who isn’t insured to drive it that he cannot borrow it.
>Now some of our mutual friends are saying should’ve just helped him out
More mutal friends who have to get involved in petty conflicts. They’re free to offer their cars.
Next time you post an AI story take the last paragraph out. The “our mutual friends” bs is the major tell now
NTA: Never ever ever lend your car out. The insurance mess gets complicated quick if they wreck it.
Now add in his attitude towards your car (I also like to take care of my car/any other tools I use) that just adds to the hell no.
Interesting that he asked you and not another friend. Had you loaned it to him, there was no way you would have gotten it back in the exact condition.
NTA.
Where I live, not having a car is like living in the old west without a horse, your life is royally f#cked.
Missing a date is not life and death. If the lady was a serious prospect she’d understand if his car is legit, “in the shop”.
NTA and anyone who’s pressuring you to give up your can have offer theirs in place
Josh isn’t your friend. No real friend would ever mock another.
NTA
It’s like my girlfriend, do you think I would loan her out. I don’t loan my car out to anyone, and most people I know don’t loan out there cars.
never loan your car- think of the liability! Josh can uber!
NTA. Your car is your property. You’re not obligated to loan it out to anyone. It doesn’t matter the reason, it’s your property. I would be wary about loaning someone my car on the off change they got into an accident.
He can get a rideshare or borrow someone else’s car. Or, if his date has a car, his date can pick him up.
NTA. I never let my own brother borrow my car because he was the most irresponsible person I had ever known. He tried to guilt me into it. Even asking my parents to convince me (they never even tried). Our youngest brother did not learn from me and let him borrow his. He returned it with a huge dent/scrathed and an empty tank. He said it happened while it was parked and he had nothing to do with it, so he wasn’t responsible. It cost $800 to fix. Don’t lend anyone anything that means something to you. Your friends can lend their cars.
Just say you have plans and need the car. He can make other arrangements.
Let your other friends loan him a car.
NTA
He acted entitled after being rude.
Another thing is insurance, if he crashes or damages your car it isn’t covered ((?) different countries have different systems/ insurance laws etc, no idea if this actually applies here)
NTa
Don’t lend people your car.
Nta. Nope. I’m a firm believer in not letting anyone borrow my car (unless it’s my kid, spouse, etc). If it breaks, there’s an accident (regardless who’s at fault), etc- there’s going to be major problems. If they can afford the deductible on your insurance- they can afford to rent one if necessary. If they won’t rent him a car- it’s because he doesn’t have the ability to be responsible for it so why should you take that risk?-
The only person who has ever driven my car without me in the car next to them is my wife. “Borrow a car” is such a wildly entitled thing to ask for.
Never ever let someone else borrow your car. Never, that’s not done. NTA
There is no way that ‘Josh’ would respect your property. You’d be mad to lend it to him.
My father always used to say “never lend your wife, your car, or your lawnmower”, my husband would get sh*t if he tried to lend me 🤣 I only let family borrow my car (99% of them are sane, responsible and respectful, plus our insurance laws are obviously different to the US, only surmising here lol) and I learned a very long time ago that lending the lawnmower to someone who didn’t have the ability to fix it, or weren’t sane, responsible or respectful, is just dumb!
NTA
It must be a nice car you are having. He did not ask the other friends. Probably wants to impress someone.
Really NTA. If he needs a means of transportation he can ask the others.