TL/DR Childs dad thinks I’m TAH for not letting our child bring their switch to his house.
So the title is basically the question but here’s the details.
My child is 6 and was gifted a switch by me (f27) and my mother for their birthday. My child just spent a long weekend with their dad (m28) who randomly messaged me today about how our child is upset they can’t bring their switch to their dads house. According to their dad our child thinks I won’t allow it because I’m playing it all the time which isn’t the case but what can you do.
Anyways my child won’t use their case and safely take care of the game device and last time it went to dads it returned with broken controllers. I tried to explain this but apparently I’m TAH and childish for not allowing them access to their own items.
Just to be clear they have access to it at my home, I just don’t allow it to go there anymore.
AITAH??
Comments
YTA
Don’t buy stuff for your kid if they’re not capable of taking care of it. Punishing them because you didn’t buy them an age-appropriate item is odd. It just sounds like you’re trying to be the “cool parent” by getting your kid to associate your house with the Switch.
You do sound childish. But that’s what happens when people are having kids at 21.
And YTA for using “gifted” as a verb.
A 6 yr old definitely needs supervision and coaching to take care of their belongings especially delicate & expensive ones.
If Dad is willing to be in charge of the Switch which includes paying for any repairs or lost items then allow him to take the Switch.
Nta. Kid can go spend a weekend at their dad’s without needing to bring a gaming system with them.
NTA. If it’s that big of an issue, dad can buy one to have at his house.
NTA.
It’s expensive and a nuisance to replace. The kid doesn’t need a switch to survive. Previous generations of split households left gaming consoles at one parents house and survived. Your child will be fine.
Plain and simple, dad puts in writing that if the switch comes back damaged from the visits there, he will replace it. Take pics/vids of the condition of the switch before it leaves and if it has an issue when it returns, he needs to cover it per the written agreement. If he’s not comfortable with that arrangement, he’s welcome to either get his own switch that the kid can play with there or he can piss off.
NTA, kid is learning responsibility, safe ownership, and that not everything is allowed everywhere.
NTA. He can buy one for his house or do something else. Your EX doesn’t get to dictate what happens to the things you bought for the child. I wouldn’t let it leave the house for any reason.
Dad probably broke all his gaming systems and is upset he can’t play his son’s Switch.
It’s going to be a very long co-parenting life if you don’t stop caring what dad thinks when he’s unwilling to accept responsibility for damages to items you paid for your kid. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself like this. You paid for it and you get to determine if your son takes it ANYWHERE. Tell dad to buy one for his house if it is bothering him so much. There’s likely second hand ones for sale online given that they’re dropping a new version soon.
Why is this even a question on Reddit? NTA
Sorry, a 6 year old shouldn’t have a switch.
NTA. My 10yo daughter has a switch that goes back and forth between mine and her dads places, but we each paid money towards it and we both ensure she’s being sensible with it and not allowing it to get broken. If your childs dad can’t even do that, I’m not surprised that you’re uncomfortable allowing an expensive piece of technology that you paid for to go to his house.
I didn’t let my kids bring expensive items to their dads till they were teenagers. If dad wants one at his house he can buy it himself.
Are there other kids at dad’s? GF or new spouse’s?
I’m having my doubts on who the more disappointed party is. NTA.
NTA i was in a situation where a child lived with a different party and every single gift the child was ever given was taken sold/disposed of/put somewhere she couldnt even see so i will never condone taking anything from either house to the other. exs can be spiteful if he wants his kid to have access to expensive things at his place, he can buy them!
Edit: Oh and btw! if he does ever buy the kid something expensive and doesnt want the kid bringing that item to yours, make sure you remember this! or maybe im a little bitter ~shrug~
Their? Is child plural? Don’t you know his or her gender?
one of the issues of a divorce. some things are for moms house and some are for dads house
The child can survive without a switch for the weekend.
YTA. It’s the child’s item. You have made it clear to your child that their stuff isn’t really theirs. Their stuff actually pseudo belongs to mom and dad and they just get to use it when they are with you.
If you don’t want your kids to be able to take their stuff out of your house, then get them things that aren’t designed to be portable.
Signed – a kid who was treated this way.
In one of the comments, OP tells us an important part she left out:
>when I explained why the switch doesn’t go there he [Ex/kid’s dad] said “then send back animal crossing that I paid for, (child’s name) has a switch here they can use.”
He has another switch. He bought the kid a game. The kid doesn’t bring it back to dad’s house.
Dad probably DOES want the kid to have his own switch when he’s there, and OP definitely has the right to say no to that. But the issue does not seem to be that dad wants to play OP’s switch. And OP seems to have a game that belongs with dad, which she should return.
And both of them should learn to behave for the kid’s benefit.
NTA. Don’t send anything to ex’s house, especially electronics. Your ex is the one filling your child’s head with this nonsense.
last time the expensive console went to dads it got broken. so not again. kid can take books, colouring, toys, things that arnt a screen