Last night I cooked pasta with chicken and veggies. Nothing fancy but the kids ate it, I ate it, it was fine. My husband takes one bite, makes a face, says he’s not in the mood for pasta and it tastes bland.
I told him to just add salt, pepper, hot sauce, whatever. He goes nah, can you just make me a sandwich? And honestly I was already tired because I worked, helped with homework, cleaned, then cooked. So I told him nope, if you don’t want it then make your own.
He got annoyed, said I never do little things for him anymore, and it wouldn’t have killed me to make a sandwich since he had a long day. But like… I had a long day too? And honestly it felt kinda disrespectful that everyone else was eating what I cooked and he just rejected it.
He ended up pouring cereal and pouted the whole night. This morning he’s still acting cold. He thinks I was being selfish but I think he’s being spoiled. I’m not his mom, if he wants a sandwich he can make it.
So yeah, AITAH?
Comments
It sounds like you both work hard but that you work harder than your husband NTAH
The rule in our house is you don’t have to eat what I made but I’m not a short order cook so make yourself a sandwich. Pretty sure if my kids get that, an adult should.
NTA
Pretty rude of him to be honest.
NTA If he doesn’t like what you made he can cook himself dinner. He seems like a child.
NTA. Sometimes we do so much for the people we love that they take it for granted. And sometimes we have to remember there is such thing as too much of a good thing. You made dinner after a long day. And if he didn’t want that, it was reasonable to tell him to make his own sandwich. Because whining about you not making a second dinner just for him adds insult to injury.
NTA. And I think you know that
NTA. What is he making for dinner tonight, and does it taste good enough to you? What is his backup meal for you if you decide it doesn’t?
NTA he can make food if he doesn’t like supper
NTA. I make my kids make their own “preferred dinner” if they don’t eat what I make. Adults can certainly make their own food
NTA. I wouldn’t cook for him again until he apologizes for being a jerk.
NTA. I can’t believe people behave this way.
NTA – My wife and I have been married for over 30 years.
If one of us makes dinner and the other doesn’t like it, we don’t make a second meal. They can make their own.
I agree. It was disrespectful enough that he refused to eat the dinner that you made, having a temper tantrum because you wouldn’t make him something else was childish.
NTA. He’s a grown ass man. If he doesn’t eat what you make everyone for dinner, he’s on his own. He’s definitely being a manbaby, and he owes YOU an apology for being a rude, selfish jerk.
NTA, he’s a grown arse man, make it yourself or go hungry is what i would have said. he’ll get over his little pout soon im sure
Not the AH. But now you’d better make a huge deal the next him he doesn’t want to do something for you. He’s ridiculous.
He isn’t acting like a big boy, and he is setting a poor example for his kids.
ntah at all – this grown arse man needs to stop being such a immature entitled shit. you are 10000% right for telling him to make his own. what a rude fuck he is
What does he even do for “work”
NTA! time for you to stop making him food all together if he’s going to act ungrateful
You know you’re NTA, but I’ll reiterate. NTA, he can make his own dinner
NTA.
And when was the last time he cooked for you?
Count the number of children you have and add one more, because your husband is a big baby. You are NTA.
NTA! Your husband can make his own GD sandwich.
NTA it sounds like you just have another – albeit full grown – child on your hands. You work full time and contribute financially, but he also expects you to carry all of the domestic labor AND pamper his delicate little preferences? And if you don’t he will have a little tantrum? All because he had to (checks notes) pour his own bowl of cereal?
NTA. He’s also setting a terrible example for your children.
Make him a sandwich for tomorrow nights dinner while you and the kids eat something good.
NTA
The way he’d be pouting and eating cereal and sandwiches until his New Year’s resolution was to treat you better and he proved it….
“you don’t do little things for me anymore”
That would be because I’m busy doing big things for you like cooking this meal, raising your children, and cleaning your house.
I would bet you’re handling at least 80% of the household labor, everything from groceries to mail to schedules. But sure, you’re a terrible person for only making him one dinner rather than two.
NTA.
I’m sensitive when I cook. You insult the meal I literally will never cook for you again. I have people you can ask
NTA. He is an adult; if he doesn’t want to eat what’s for dinner, he can find something else to eat. That isn’t your job to do for him.
Last time I checked it’s not 1957. You are not a servant. Let him find his own second dinner if he’s too rude to eat what you served.
I’m sorry, is he a toddler?
NTA. You’re not running a restaurant, you’re running a household. You cooked, the kids ate, you ate — job done. If he didn’t want pasta, he’s a grown man with two working hands and the ability to slap together a sandwich. Acting cold the next day over cereal is just pouting, not partnership.
It’s not selfish to expect your husband to feed himself if he doesn’t like what you made. What is selfish is expecting you to cater to his every whim after you’ve already worked, parented, cleaned, and cooked.
NTA pretty disrespectful of him to do this in front of the kiddos too. You aren’t a mind-reader, but if it’s an out of character behavior something else may be going on, or maybe this is highlighting some expectations/communications that can be made clearer (to prevent something similar from happening again).
NTA You should consider not making him dinner until he apologizes for his attitude. If he says something, tell him you don’t like what I make, so you can make your own dinner. I’m already cooking for two kids, I don’t have time to cook for a third.
NTA… Oh, so he can make food? Great, cereal for life it is. Plenty of people survive on cereal. He’ll be fine, minus a hit to his ego.
NTA – men want a 1950s household with 2 incomes. He’s gonna have to step it up if he wants you to do the little things for him… or he should have considered his needs before he had children.
NTA
Yes . You have all a good point .
NTA
When was the last time he made dinner, helped with homework, ran laundry, loaded the dishwasher, and wrangled the children in their evening routine. He can make his own sandwich if he doesn’t want the meal that was prepared. He doesn’t get to have just one job and leave you with everything else and then whine because he doesn’t want to do one thing for himself.
NTA
If kids ate it, it was not that bad.
You cannot be responsible for his emotional reactions.
What’s the big deal he could just make himself a sandwich the way he wanted it to be made… if you work a full time job you are likely just as tired as he is, if not more since you did other house chores already
He’s a grown adult he has a meal kindly made for him he turned his nose up at that so it goes to his responsibility to sort something out for himself
He can ask but that was absolutely dumb considering he just trashed your dinner.
No is an answer.
NTA
NTA. Seriously. It’s being such a bad example for the kids too, if he’s picky, it justifies them being picky.
You never do little things for him anymore, like cooking a whole ass meal that he was too immature to just eat? You had a long day too, and since he’s not FOUR, he can make his own sandwich.
You made food. Big ungrateful baby didn’t want it. Big ungrateful baby can fix his own food.
I hope you show him this because he really need to see how outrageous his actions are
NtAH. He’s looking for a mommy.
Is your husband disabled in some way? Assuming the answer is no, he, like you said, should’ve gotten up off of his ass and made his own damn sandwich. This is not the 1950s; if he wants to petty and pout like a three year old, let him. Ignore his temper tantrum, because he will need something from you before you need something from him.
NTA….your husband is a self-entitled jerk!
In our house if you don’t like it, you go fix something else. Also I’d point out to him that nobody wants to something for anyone that guilts them or pouts. Thats about the least manly thing he could do. He shouldn’t even have asked you. You and the kids were eating.
NTA. The example your husband is giving to your children is awful. Never give in or it’ll show the kids they can pout and get whatever they want.
Yeah, NTA. He should be thanking you for feeding his family, and if he didn’t want any of it he can feed himself. He’s a grown adult.
nta how many children did you say you have?
Great example he is setting for the kids.
If the kids didn’t eat dinner, “Breakfast is the next meal”. Should go for picky or ungrateful husbands too.
So how often does he do little things for you anymore? When did he last recognize that you also work? Because one way relationships can’t last indefinitely.
Also, in my house you eat what I plate up. You eat at least one third before you state you don’t care for it and you never make a face unless you want to cook for the family tomorrow. You do not insult the cook and think it’s going to get you anything but trouble. You cannot insult your way into getting what you want. That’s rude and entitled and not the example that gets set for my children.
What a whiny petulant little man. When was the last time he did little things for you?
NTA
I’m sorry, so working to be able to provide for the home to then come home to kids and help with homework, cleaning the house, then cooking a meal is not “doing anything for him”? I’m sorry you married a man child. He needs a wake up call, like divorce papers. Let’s see who he expects to make his sandwiches after that. What f**king nerve he has.
NTA, I can’t imagine complaining about “the little things” when someone has just done a big thing like cooking dinner for me and my kids.
NTA, he is an entitled manbaby.
Woah, was THAT HARD for him to make himself a sandwich? A FREAKING SANDWICH? He ended eating cereal!! For crying out loud, he needs a momma more than a wife…
If he doesn’t like your food he can cook it or buy it, you are not his personal employee.
NTA. Next dinner make him a sandwich while you and the kids have steak.
These man-children are really becoming incredibly fragile.
ETA: No, you’re NTA.
Flip that dinner script on him. Berate his cooking and demand a sandwich from him. You both worked, you made a nice dinner, and helped the kiddos with their homework. You are not his maid or his mommy. I’d stuff that sandwich right up his ass.
Heh. I did the cooking for a few years and when my kid was little and complained about the food, my answer was “you aren’t allowed to tell me my food sucks. Take your plate, throw it in the garbage and eat whatever you want out of the fridge.” But preparing a second meal for the malcontents? Hard no.
NTA
You did the right thing. He’s a grown man, perfectly capable of making a sandwich. You already prepared a meal; he could also have ordered a pizza. Expecting you to do even more shows me he isn’t considerate of your needs and prioritizes his.
NTA… HIM.. the entire Ass AND Hole…
One of the best things about being an adult is the ability and luxury to make your own damn food. Tell him to man up.
NTA
Your husband sounds like a real princess
What’s with all these incompetent men who don’t know how to make a sandwich?? How are you ever to be turned on and make love to a man like this when he is a child??
That’s crazy to me. He’s TAH.
Not at all! You’re not running a restaurant. He needs to grow up.
What an absolute WIMP. NTA
He probably has a new person. This sounds like a reason to criticize you
You know who the AH is, no need to ask us.
NTA. He is also being a shitty example in front of his kids
Two pieces of bread, chicken, pasta and veggies. Easy peasey!
NTA. You made him dinner, if he’s too good for that dinner he is more than welcome to make his own. Especially if it was just “not in the mood for pasta and it tastes bland.” Like, it would be one thing if it was bothering his stomach somehow or if it included an allergen by accident. Then I might see his point, but he was just too much of a diva to eat the dinner that even the kids ate without complaint.
Honestly, just the fact that you took the initiative to make home cooked food for the family is above and beyond most people. When was the last time he did that for you? And then to be even more picky, entitled, and ungrateful than the actual children is just a stunningly childish move from a grown man and massively ungrateful.
Edit: and for the record, I say this as someone who is both a very picky eater and who has food allergies. But I don’t make any of that someone else’s problem, and I haven’t since I was a preteen. If I don’t like what’s being served for dinner, I have 2 good hands and I’ll make myself a bowl of cereal or a sandwich without complaint, and I’ll try to eat a bit of what was made and I am always grateful towards the person who took the time to cook for me, even if there was a miscommunication and I can’t or won’t eat it.
NTA… our rule was
1.. eat what’s served…. or
2.. there’s always bread and peanut butter on the table, eat that… .. or
3.. Go without.. and …
4.. Tomorrow you’re the cook since you’re not happy with what we make.. So be prepared because there will not be a meal on the table waiting for you,
There was an ass in the room but it wasn’t you
If the kids ate it, it’s good enough for him, if he doesn’t like it, tell him to make his own
NTA: sounds like he missed a step in growing up.
Tell him to go ask his mommy for his sandwich. You’re not his mother.
NTA
My kids and husband have an agreement. I’m cooking one thing. I’d you don’t like it, your on your own. Period.
And when’s the last “little” thing he did 4 u?😒 wtf do y’all be married 2??? Invite him 2 go live I a damn restaurant and put ur feet up. I know u tired from being anchored 2 that all the time. Yuck. NTA
He’s in charge of dinner the rest of the week.
NTA. Ask him “What’s wrong with your hands?!” in a slightly panicked tone lol. When he says nothing, tell him good, he can make his own damn sandwich 😅
He can’t even make himself a sandwich, he resorts to cereal?
What kind of manchild is so lazy and clueless?
And he has the audacity to pout?
Girl.
I doubt his mom would have made him a sandwich. Dad would have told him to eat what was in front of him.
I love old fashioned guys who believe a woman’s place is in the home BUT they’re willing to let them work too. Heros folks. Where is their holiday /s
So basically you have an extra kid. Sigh.
You are NTA here.
Your husband is an immature brat and an A H.
Apart from the entitled behaviour, what sort of example is he setting for his kids? I bet he wouldn’t be impressed if one of his kids tried the same pouty tactics with him, but he thinks it’s OK to treat his wife that way? NTA
I’d tell him to eat a dick. That’ll fill him up.
NTA. Are you married to my 10 year old? Guess what, entitled husband, not every single meal is going to be your favorite thing ever. Get over it. Better yet, start pitching in and doing some of the cooking yourself.
Let me guess he would flip out on his kids if they pulled that shit
This can’t be real. Please let this not be real? It’s insulting enough to not want to eat what you cooked and criticize you, but excepting you to make him a sandwich is next level disrespectful. I hope you told him how it made you feel that he treated you this way. You don’t deserve this OP. NTA
My response would have been, oh, I wasn’t aware I was raising 3 kids, not 2.
You do do little things for him. You made him dinner. He just doesn’t appreciate the things you do.
His behaviour seems sus. He is playing victim.. and creating some narrative where
His wife is neglectful of him.
Its like he is looking to justify something..
Nta a grown adult should eat the meal you made. I would be so hurt if my wife made that comment to the meals I cook. She never would. She might suggest next time I want to make that meal that we try something different tho, lol
“You never do the little things for me” You made him a full fuckin dinner!! He is an unappreciative ass.
Wow way to marry a child
NTA
I can understand if he was in a mood and had a pout in that moment or even the rest of the night. It’s not fair and it’s immature but people aren’t always rational.
But carrying it over to the next day is really problematic. He seems to be carrying some resentments that are not only related to this dinner incident. He says you never do little things for him anymore. Does he realize he’s expecting these little things when you’re exhausted from working, too?
Nta- when was the last little thing he did for you?? When was the last ting he appreciated you?? Hmmm
NTA. If my kids don’t want what I’m offering for dinner, they’re welcome to make themselves a sandwich or peanut butter toast. A grown-ass man can do the same thing.
NTA but did he do this in front of the kids? This sends a horrible message to the kids.
1- that he can be shtty about your cooking.
2- that he expects you to be a short order cook.
3- that he can pout when he doesn’t get his way.
4- that he wanted you to make him a sandwich and when you declined, he couldn’t even do it himself.
Edit: formatting
NTA. “You never do the little things anymore.” This is next level entitlement. You don’t need to do the little things, you already made him a supper. He was just being a spoiled brat. You are not a short order cook (not like any of us is, never mind not having any pre prepared ingredients ready to work with). You’re not a maid and he is not deserving of anything more than the supper you had already made.
It’s so brave of you to take in and marry a man who doesn’t have hands.
Oh.. wait…He does have hands?
Then he can make his own fucking sandwich. NTA.
Your mistake was in not laughing after “can you just make me a sandwich?”. Although your reply was quite clear, something about it gave the impression that it would normally be a legitimate possibility that you would.
Add more casual amusement at the absurdity of his request it is what I’m saying.
NTA
That was incredibly rude of your husband.
You made dinner for the whole family. He doesn’t have to like it, but he can still be considerate of your feelings.
My husband and I both cook. He will occasionally make a sauce that ends up being too spicy for me, so I let him know that I’ll be making or having something different. He doesn’t do it on purpose and I don’t expect him to make an entire second meal just for me. I usually make enough dinner to last a couple of days. If, by the second night, he doesn’t feel like leftovers, he makes something he wants.
Your husband is acting immature. There’s no way he didn’t realize how he sounded by asking you to make him a sandwich after you had already made dinner.
Pretty simple. You are employed and contributing income. Tell him if he doesn’t like your food he can make his own damn dinner.
Lol, you married someone who’s such a little b*tch that he can’t even make himself a sandwich because you wouldn’t, and instead just ate a bowl of cereal and sulked?
Christ. NTA at all.
Does he cry for you after he poops because he’s not a big enough boy to wipe himself?
If you do it for him today, tomorrow it will be the kids.
NTA even if this post was about a literal 10 they would seem immature. This isn’t acceptable behavior for an adult.
I’m sorry you married a baby. I didn’t know that was legal. NTA.
And what little things does he do for you.? You both work, and yet you worked, took care of homework, cleaned AND cooked. What did he do? NTA
Should have taken a piece of paper, wrote f*ck you it, make eye contact while I cook it in a frying pan, stick it between 2 pieces of bread and then give it to him
NTA tell him you ain’t his momma. Recap all you did that day and tell him you also made everyone dinner. If he doesn’t want to eat the dinner you cooked for everyone fine. But, he needs to find his own food to eat.
NTA
Mom and I(16 at the time) came home from a full day of grocery shopping. Hour+ drive to the closest Commisary(military base). Mom would stock up on staples for the month.
Get home. Dad(retired Marine)is sitting at the kitchen table and whines about missing lunch and is hungry. I looked at him and said, “You’re a big boy.” You couldn’t make a sandwich?
My poor husband paid for that when we got married. He tried it ONCE, LMAO, but he has never refused anything I’ve cooked in 50 years.
He said you don’t do the little things… You made him a whole freaking meal. NTA
NTA but your husband is. My husband does shit like this and I cannot comprehend how this is so hard for him to understand. I work full time, handle everything at home except mowing the lawn including parenting, planning, cooking, finances, etc. And yet he thinks because I have a vagina dinner is entirely my responsibility. This same issue has nearly been the cause for divorce for us many times. Please don’t put up with this behavior like I have all these years. If he doesn’t have basic respect and the ability to make himself a sandwich, why stay??
NTA – even a preschooler can make themselves a sandwich. You’re not a short order cook.
Men aren’t lonely enough.
NTA
Thank you for showing your children, as II believe this started in front of them, how not to be disrespected by your spouse. They know how much you do for them & your family, even if hubby is clueless.
You shouldn’t even have to be asking this question. 100% NTA. He’s grown as hell.
“Yep – I totally don’t do any little things for you. You know, like making a whole-ass homecooked meal that you’re refusing to eat.” Hell no.
Oof my least favorite man behavior. No, NTA. I like to use the word “inconsiderate” when speaking to my stepdad about his hurtful behaviors like this one, and it works like a charm. Ex: “that felt inconsiderate, please don’t do it again :)”
NTA. He could make his own sandwich 🤷🏻♀️
NTA. This smells of relationship test bs.
NTA. Very insulting actually.
NTA. The fact that he has the gall to call you selfish for not making him a second supper because the first was not up to His Royal Arse-nesses’ standards? No way. This is so out of line that the line is a dot on the horizon. This would equal instant vaporization in a lot of other households. My absolutely selfish 70+ father who now has numerous health problems and can’t make his own food (although never once cooked in his 40+ years with my Mom), might sometimes complain that he didn’t like the meal he got, but he would still eat it and not demand another one from the person who prepared it. If he is more entitled than my Dad, you have a problem.
Gee maybe he should cook supper and do the homework w the children.
Your husband is a pig. He can make his own sandwich.
A very young me, made supper for my new live-in boyfriend. He had to work late and came home at 9pm instead of 5. He said he didn’t eat leftovers and made me cook another dinner for him. Thus began a very abusive 4-year relationship. I wish I had stood up for myself every time. It would have been a much shorter and less painful relationship. It was homemade enchiladas, if you are wondering.
NTA. Honestly, if you are going to be a single mom, just go be a single mom. At least you will have one less child to care for… he is the AH.
Seriously, most mothers work outside the home and come home absolutely exhausted. Why are they expected to do ALL the domestic work and cater with a smile? OP’s husband is acting like a spoiled brat. When is the last time he did “little things” to make her life any easier? This is one reason the divorce rate is so high: one partner is the giver and the other is the taker, and there’s absolutely no equity. That leads to resentment and people give up. OP gave her husband very good options to add spices. He can make his own friggin’ sandwich. She is not a short order cook!!
In my house, the rule is: you don’t like what we’re eating, you make your own. That’s been true for me since I was 6 years old and I’ve held my own son to it since he was old enough to microwave. All four adults in my house abide by this, with the only exception being when one is sick and would contaminate the kitchen.
NTA, BIG TIME.
Grown man can make a sandwich. He was super rude. I wouldn’t make him dinner tomorrow he apologizes.
Your husband is a baby. He can make is own damn food.
Congrats on not telling him to go home to mommy’s. Not that my mother would have made a second meal. In our family if someone didn’t like something it was just more for the rest of us. May have happened twice in my life.
You “never do little things for him anymore”. What, like work, help with homework, clean, and cook? Those things aren’t “little” enough to count? Like you said, you didn’t also have a long day? Sounds entitled. He should make his own damn sandwich. NTA.
Tonight’s menu: Take it or leave it. End of story.
Wow, I didn’t realize my partner had a whole other family. Seriously, NTA but why are men like this? You have enough energy to be a sourpuss but not to make yourself a sandwich.
Wow your husband is such an asshole wtf I’m actually in disbelief. Ungrateful, disrespectful prick
NTA. I’m not the cook usually in my house and I do not complain about anything my husband cooks. I’d be leaving him a bowl for his cereal every night till he apologized. I hope you made the point to him that you too had a long day plus other parental duties and he’s acting ungrateful for having a home cooked meal waiting for him, regardless of him wanting that particular dish or not. Let him pout.
Lmao apparently not all the kids ate it. NTA.
NTA, but your husband is. If he doesn’t want what somebody took the time to cook for him and the whole family after they worked all day too, then he can make himself his own damn sandwich.
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I mean, the rule in my house was “I made it, you eat it, or you go hungry.”
Also, fuck that guy. You aren’t a maid. Red flag.
When does he cook dinner for the family? If he doesn’t, he needs to shut up and ear. If you want something different you make it.
What “little things” does your husband do for you on the reg, or is he also guilty of not doing little things for you any more? Cause ya gotta give to get.
And it sounds like making 2 dinners, even just a sandwich, isn’t such a little thing, given that he himself made cereal. He proved that the lift on a sandwich was too heavy for either of you, making it not a “little thing”, so he can rethink his double standard. It’s a little thing when you make it, but too hard for him to make for himself.
Nta. Fathers like your husband should walk themselves through the thought process of making dinner for himself every night, and for his children by himself half the time. Plus doing all his own laundry, meal prep, shopping, etc., helping the kids with their homework half the time by himself, driving them to their practices and lessons half the time. Because when families split up, women wind up doing less work because half of the time they don’t have their kids. They do less work because they don’t have a 200 pound baby to wipe up after.
NTA
He couldn’t make himself a sandwich? That’s insane to me
Are you married to a four year old?
how can a grown man not know how to make a sandwich?? he’s just being a big manbaby!! I commend you for not smacking him upside his lazy entitled manbaby ass.
My mom’s rule was, if you don’t like what she made, you can have cereal or make your own food but you can’t get in her way while she is cooking. Wait til she’s done and everyone is eating to cook your own.