AITAH for not picking my partner up or booking her a taxi after a night out?

r/

Last weekend my girlfriend had plans to go out drinking with friends. The plan was to go for cocktails then go to an event in a club after that. As I had the place to myself I planned to have a few drinks, order some food and just relax and play video games, watch Netflix etc.

When my gf asked me my plans I told her and she got annoyed. She said she was wanting me to come and pick her up when she’s finished. I apologised and told her I wouldn’t be able to. She asked if I’d at least book her a taxi when she’s finished.

I told her I would if I was awake but I can’t promise I will be as she’ll be out until after 2am. She said I was being unfair but I pointed out she was more than capable of booking her own taxi. She said she wasn’t asking for much but I just told her again I’ll do it if I’m awake but I’m not likely to be.

AITAH for not picking my girlfriend up or booking her a taxi?

Comments

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    Last weekend my girlfriend had plans to go out drinking with friends. The plan was to go for cocktails then go to an event in a club after that. As I had the place to myself I planned to have a few drinks, order some food and just relax and play video games, watch Netflix etc.

    When my gf asked me my plans I told her and she got annoyed. She said she was wanting me to come and pick her up when she’s finished. I apologised and told her I wouldn’t be able to. She asked if I’d at least book her a taxi when she’s finished.

    I told her I would if I was awake but I can’t promise I will be as she’ll be out until after 2am. She said I was being unfair but I pointed out she was more than capable of booking her own taxi. She said she wasn’t asking for much but I just told her again I’ll do it if I’m awake but I’m not likely to be.

    AITAH for not picking my girlfriend up or booking her a taxi?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > Wouldn’t stay up to book my partner a taxi after a night out

    She said she wasn’t asking for much and that I should be fine to do it

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  3. squigs Avatar

    NTA

    She’s a grown woman. She should be able to book a taxi. Expecting you to adjust your plans so she can drink doesn’t seem fair on you.

  4. Impressive_Moment786 Avatar

    NTA-why can’t she book her own taxi, why do you need to do it?

  5. Demeter12345678 Avatar

    NTA – is your girlfriend always this demanding? When I (F) go out partying, it’s my damn responsibility to get me home. Having someone pick you up is nice, but not a given. If I asked my husband that, he would be absolutely flabbergasted and wouldn’t understand why I don’t take a cab myself….

  6. unabashed_nuance Avatar

    NTA

    It sounds like she’s asking you to show you care. I don’t know your relationship. To me this request has less to do with a cab or a ride home than it does with asking you to put in effort. If you value the relationship you may want to do a little self examination.

  7. AlbanyBarbiedoll Avatar

    She wants him to pay her way so she looks spoiled in front of her friends. Ugh!!!

  8. sleepyHedgehog99 Avatar

    NTA. She’s the one choosing to go out and party, so it’s her responsibility to make sure she gets home safely. Offering to pick her up would be a kind gesture, sure, but it’s not something she’s entitled to demand. She’s an adult who’s old enough to drink; she can absolutely call a taxi or arrange a ride on her own.

    Also, as a girl, I would’ve understood her point of view if she were concerned about her safety, but since she’s perfectly fine with the idea of taking a taxi by herself, I don’t see why you should be the one calling it. Plus, taxis need a set time to know when to pick someone up, so you’d basically have to stay awake until she’s ready to leave – it’s ridiculous.

  9. Best-Negotiation-211 Avatar

    She sounds like a child who definitely shouldn’t be out drinking alcohol without your supervision.

  10. CablePuzzleheaded497 Avatar

    NTA.  Old enough to go out solo with girlfriends,old enough to get home solo.

  11. Curious-Lie4812 Avatar

    NTA. You both made plans for the night. It wasn’t an emergency situation and she was perfectly capable of planning ahead. She can call a taxi when she’s ready.

  12. Fast-Bag-36842 Avatar

    NTA if she can’t figure out her own transportation like a big girl, she has no business going out at all.

  13. 150steps Avatar

    NTA. Are you in a relationship with a helpless child?

  14. Motor_Dark6406 Avatar

    NTA, Sorry,was that your gf or teen daughter? Why is she acting so helpless? Is it just to avoid paying for a cab or is it important to her that your night be spent accommodating hers?

  15. Background-Cow8401 Avatar

    NTA if she isnt able to call her own taxi then she is not mature enough to be going out drinking.

  16. Possible_Emergency_9 Avatar

    NTA thats unrealistic on her part. Have a designated driver friend bring her home.

  17. awesammmy Avatar

    NTA
    But she probably just wants you to show that you care about her and her safety. Once my bf drove an hour to pick me up after a night out – it was super sweet.

  18. Kittyknowshow Avatar

    NTA, did she give you a reason she can’t do it herself?

  19. Icy-Opportunity-7594 Avatar

    NTA. If she has made theses plans and gone ahead with them she can’t expect a chauffer or personal assistant to book her taxi, If you had offered this is different. She sounds a little entitled and ungrateful especially since you had your own plans to relax and unwind.

  20. MakalakaPeaka Avatar

    NTA,
    If she’s old enough to go clubbing, she’s old enough to get a cab. How bizarre to demand to be picked up this way.

  21. cassowary32 Avatar

    NTA. Booking her a taxi makes no sense. What if she wants to come home early? Or goes to an after hours bar?

    I’m curious though, is there something she’s doing to make your solo night better (like cooking dinner)? Is she trying to get you to reciprocate in the oddest way possible?

  22. JGalKnit Avatar

    NTA. She is an adult. If she didn’t have you as a boyfriend how would she get home? Order herself an Uber or taxi. It isn’t that difficult. You shouldn’t have to stay up late to take care of her.

  23. Crash-id Avatar

    If shes old enough to go drinking she’s old enough to get herself home. If she can’t afford the taxi she shouldn’t go out . Or she can drink less and get the taxi.

  24. buffalobluetongue Avatar

    If she couldn’t pay to get home I’m pretty sure she couldn’t pay for drinks either. Party girls have stag guys pay for their stuff. Not hard to figure out what was going on.

  25. wtf_ftw_FuckU2 Avatar

    NTAH, your gf is gaslighting you. If she can not be responsible for herself, she should not go out and drink.

    You could be at least a little bit concerned for her safety. Women have been kidnapped and raped by men pretending to be Uber drivers (idk about real taxi driviers), and there is always a possibility of her getting separated from friends while drinking, etc. If she doesn’t get completely drunk or get a drink spiked, she should be ok.

  26. MidtownMoi Avatar

    NTA if she cannot figure out how to get home after a night of drinking she shouldn’t go.

  27. Little-Martha31204 Avatar

    NTA. Assuming she is a fully formed adult who is old enough to go out drinking…she can book her own taxi.

  28. popenoper Avatar

    NTA- unless you make a habit of being out late and unable to get home without her help that’s unfair, and kinda weird.

  29. throwaway798319 Avatar

    NTA she’s being unfair

  30. Organic_Security5742 Avatar

    She can’t order a taxi or an uber but you are supposed to trust her getting drunk around strange guys. Sounds like aa disaster in the making.

  31. Alfred-Register7379 Avatar

    Nta. What is she on?

    She chose her mental health, and you chose yours.

    She is childish in this situation.

  32. Easy-Wishbone5413 Avatar

    Get rid of that girlfriend right now! She is beyond high maintenance.

  33. tuneful_radio Avatar

    NTA what in the entitled world is happening?

    She basically doesn’t want you to have the night off. She asked you your “plans” assuming that you would still plan around her wants.

  34. SamSpayedPI Avatar

    NTA

    >She said she wasn’t asking for much and that I should be fine to do it

    In my opinion, she is asking for “much”: She wants you to stay home all night while she drinks with her friends; and either:

    • not have any drinks so you can pick her up well past midnight, or
    • sit home alone and stay up well past midnight so you can arrange a ride for her.

    That’s completely unreasonable since, as you say, she’s more than capable of getting a taxi on her own—not to mention it’s much easier and more convenient for all involved to have her do it. Otherwise she’d have to call you and tell you where and when she wants the ride, you’d have to somehow convey the information to the driver, and if he can’t find her he has your information contact information instead of hers, so you need to make a three-way call to get them together.

    In fact, you booking a cab for her is so much more inconvenient that it’s difficult to understand why she would even ask for it. I guess if you book it, you pay for it, not her? She’s trying to impress her friends that she has you at her beck and call?

    > I just told her again I’ll do it if I’m awake but I’m not likely to be.

    That was a mistake. Just tell her she and her friends need to arrange their own transportation.

  35. blushabyss Avatar

    NTA It’s okay to have your own plans and need rest, especially that late. You were honest and respectful, and it’s reasonable for adults to take care of their own transportation.

  36. DonMn763 Avatar

    You’d better enjoy sitting around waiting for her to do what she wants. You should stop that now or you’ll be doing it until you finally hate her.

  37. SlothToaFlame Avatar

    NTA. If she’s enough of an adult to go out drinking with her friends, she’s enough of an adult to figure out her own way to get home.

  38. u2125mike2124 Avatar

    NTAH

    Since she’s out drinking with her friends, I’m going to make the wild guess that she’s over 21.

    Either way if she’s old enough to drink, she should be old enough to call herself her own transportation.

    And if she intends to get so drunk that she’s in capable of doing that that’s a different problem.

    In any case, neither one of those scenarios make it your responsibility to arrange transportation for her home

  39. Prudent-East979 Avatar

    NTA but it wouldnt hurt to pick her up, maybe she would feel safer in having a direct ride home with someone she knows rather than an Uber at 2am

  40. cinnamongirl73 Avatar

    Is this real? Wow. NTA If it is.

  41. shiggyhisdiggy Avatar

    NTA

    She’s entitled and is hoping you will literally do nothing but wait for her while she goes out all night. The only reason she wants you to book the taxi is so that she won’t have to pay for it.

  42. Speedraca Avatar

    Info: Why does she want you to book the taxi? Is it a money thing? Does it make her feel like you’re taking care of her? Is she bad with technology?

    I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would want to inconvenience my partner this much for something that would take me less than 5 minutes to do on my own.

  43. Reclinerbabe Avatar

    Her request makes no sense, so please realize that she has set this up as some kind of test about how good of a boyfriend you are.

    I’d tell her I’m not playing.