Me and my mom have always had a difficult relationship. I was taking away from her young age and I wasn’t raised by her. she went on to have 6 more kids after I was taking. Now I am grown, staying in a state HOURS away.. I BARLEY speak to my mom but she’s been going through some hardships lately so I’ve empathize with her… a few months ago I lget MULTIPLE CALLS FROM HER AND MY SIBLINGS AROUND 40 all while I’m sleeping. I asked once and she & asked me “what’s your address” so I hung up and told her I’ll call her back once I’m up and once I got up she told me she was already 5 hours away from me ON HER WAY to stay with me and my husband and our family, mind you I’m 10-1/ hours away from my hometown and she’s driving down here UNINVITED, UNANNOUNCED literal nightmare with her all her children. That’s fine our lease ends soon… or so I thought.. my mom has been nothing but issues since she’s been here and I’ll list a few
1.) she doesn’t clean up after herself or her kids (she only washed my dishes one time since being in my house)
2.) she doesn’t cook for her kids (they are always in my kitchen making a mess looking for some food because she never cooks for them, I’m tired of giving them boundaries and task when they aren’t reprimanded by the parent!)
3.) she EXPECTS me to cater to her and do everything she wants (she wants me to give her rides everywhere, feed c her sometimes share n I’m my personal stuff with her gets mad when I doesn’t…
4.) doesn’t buy her own household items ( always in needs tissue, laundry detergent, bath soap every essential item”
5.) she is still boy crazy at her big age
Now my lease is up and I’ve been telling my mom that my lease will be up soon and she has been dragging her feet. Now I got an apartment and she keep asking where I’m moving to, what am I going to do etc so I told her I’m moving with a roommate because I just don’t want her in my house anymore. She doesn’t clean, cook, brush her teeth, bathe her kids (her daughter especially!!) just sit around and I don’t want that burden in my life anymore. AITAH???
EDIT: if you read the post, I said, I told her that I am moving with a roommate BECAUSE I don’t want her in my house!!! MY LEASE IS ENDING SO I TOLD HER IM MOVING IN WOTH A ROOMMATE. MEANING ME AND MY HUSBAND AND CHILD WILL HAVE A ROOMMATE.
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Nta. But why did you let her stay at alll? Put your own family first.
NTA. You need to get hardcore and fast. She’s going to force you into feeling responsible for her and her kids. Don’t.
There’s no way your lease would have allowed you to move that many people in. If she doesn’t move before the lease is up, you could end up in all kinds of bother.
You need to stand over her while she packs or pack for her and physically move her and her stuff into her vehicle.
Do not buy things for her. Do not cook or clean for her. Do not wait until the last minute. You need to get her out now. If she does not go, you tell her you will have the police remove her and you follow through.
Do not tell her where you are moving to. Protect yourself and your family.
Just don’t share your actual address with her.
NTA. That’s a lot to take on, especially people who are unwanted, unannounced, and do nothing. They aren’t your responsibility. She is an adult. She had the children. She needs to step up and take responsibility, not pass it off to you.
Parasite
You are not tge a*hole. Sounds like my incubater. We allowed you stay here without an invitation, and it is time for you to go.
YTA to yourself by allowing your boundaries to be violated like this.
Tell your mom that she and your siblings are NOT WELCOME to come with you to your new address, so she needs to figure it out.
Do not tell her the address of the new place. You also need to tell your landlord that she’s squatting in your apartment. She may need to be legally evicted when the lease ends. This is landlord nightmare fuel to have someone with six kids that aren’t on the lease move into an apartment.
NTA. It can be so hard when taken by surprise like that. Next time give her the address of a shelter rather than your address.
NTA for not letting her stay with you in your new place. But are a giant AH for putting up with all of this. She’s a grown adult and needs to take care of herself and her children.
Just stick with you have a roommate, and move yourself
Updateme!
You are the creator of your own problems .
YTA for letting her into your house in the first place
YTA to yourself, your husband, and your kids for allowing her to disrespect your home like this. If you can’t stand up to your mother ask your husband for help
FAKE! Do you have a family or a roommate? You say both in this fake post.
YTA for opening the door, you should have called the police on her for child neglect.
Where is your hubby in all this, you said you had a husband and family and now you are moving out with a roommate? Doesn’t make sense.
You’re moving in with a roommate? What happened to your husband and family from the first paragraph?