My stepsister (f15) really wants to join cheer this year, but practice is 3 times a week after school and she wouldn’t be able to do it because she has to walk our half sister (f6) home from school (we don’t have school buses). If she doesn’t walk our half sister home she gets grounded and won’t get an allowance. My stepsister said that my dad and her mom said they if she could get me to do it for her on those days then it would be okay for her to do cheer.
Honestly, I (f16) really don’t want to do it. Especially because I had planned on finally driving to and from school since my mom and stepdad finally bought me a car. Which is awesome because it means I won’t have to carry my stuff (including my trombone) to school and home everyday. I also won’t have to leave as early to make sure I get to school on time.
But I’m not allowed to drive anyone (including my halfsister) in my car. That was one of the rules in exchange for getting me the car because I am a new driver and they don’t want me to have any distractions. So I wouldn’t be able to drive my half sister home. So I would have to walk from my school to pick her up, walk her home, then walk back back to my school to get my car. That just seems ridiculous and a waste of time though. So it would make more sense for me to continue walking to and from school like before. Except that sucks because my half sisters school is even further away from my mom’s house (where I live).
Plus I would also like to sign up for extracurriculars,. I’m not exactly sure which ones yet, but I would be limited to just two days a week, while my stepsister would get three days a week. She says that’s even still unfair to her since she’s had to walk our half sister home by herself all last year and I didn’t at all. So she says she’s being nice by letting me have two days since our half sister is just as much my sister as she is hers so I should be helping out more anyway.
Comments
NTA. It’s your parents’ responsibility to find a solution that works for ALL the children in their care.
NTA it sounds like your parents need to either pick up your half sister or find a better solution so all of their kids can do stuff the want to do
NTA. This is something for your mom and stepdad to figure out. Older siblings aren’t built-in babysitters.
Have y’all laid this out for your parents? Also, why aren’t your parents able to pick up your sister/how do other kids get home? And if school is within walking distance, why is it so important to be able to drive there?
Edit: Update from subcomments: I missed the detail that OP, stepsister, and half-sister don’t even live together. That definitely changes the calculus. I would say support your stepsister in finding a resolution with the parents and maybe consider being willing to walk the half-sister one day a week/in emergencies.
Otherwise, while it is a crappy situation, NTA. To be very blunt: not your household, not your problem.
NTA it sucks for your stepsister but it shouldn’t be her responsibility in the first place. Your stepmother and your dad need to find another solution instead pondering of their responsibilities over to their kids.
NTA. Why is this suddenly your problem? If your stepsister wants to do cheer, she should negotiate with your parents—not guilt-trip you into fixing it for her
This is solely on your dad and stepmom
I personally think it stinks that either one of you have that responsibility on your shoulders and therefore have trouble participating in extracurriculars. Is there no other alternative? Could the 6 year old go to after school care?
I just feel really bad for stepsister because it’s not her fault either.
Is there a reason you dad and stepmom can’t get your stepsister a car and allow her to drop your sister off and home and return back to school for cheer?
And once this sister is home, who is taking care of her anyway?
Your half sister is her mom and dad’s responsibility not your or your stepsister responsibility. They choose to have a child you did not. Your stepsister is living with them and no doubt having the responsibility pushed onto her. Bottom line just say sorry your stuck with this, but no I’m not taking responsibility for their lack of bc.
NTA – just edited for a variety of reasons including that babysitting would also be required and OP doesn’t actually live with the half sister so OP would give up important high school activities and have to spend three afternoons outside his home.
Just curiosity as to why you don’t have this chore and she does?
No judgment but it seems odd that it isn’t evenly split since she is your half sister and your step sister’s half sister.
That said neither of you should have to lose out on important school experiences because of child care.
I am also not understanding how walking her home works since you can’t safely leave a 6 year old at home alone which means that someone also has to babysit.
Parents should either hire a babysitter or many schools have after school extended hours and the programs are actually a lot of fun and provide a great way for a kid to spend some hours after school. My friends’ school had something called STAR but I don’t know if that is the local program and it is called something else in another location.
You are clearly a MicTak– a person who takes, and takes, but never gives! It’s part of being a family. Isn’t it nice that they got you a car-do you really think there isn’t a price to pay?
NTA. It’s not fair of your stepsister to put it on you, either. Because it was her task, that she got from her parent and stepfather (your dad). The only ones that should find a solution are the parents. Not you.
Anyway, there has to be a solution, because you are both teenagers. And as you said, both of you want to sign up for extracurriculars. So, why should you two sacrifice that?
Is there maybe a possibility to carpool with other parents? Or maybe grandparents in the area?
Updateme.
Lay out the details for parents. Say you would be willing to help but would want to drive to take half sister from school. And if you do that reinforce that would only be until you have an extracurricular conflict. This could give them a little time to make arrangements or adjust their schedules. Who is watching half sister once she gets home? Many schools have an after school program for kids that may work with their work schedule. That would be the best course. Neither you or your stepsister should be forced to give up your own access. I will say that helping when you CAN is good karma.
Your little sister are your parents responsibility, not the older siblings. It’s also very unfair to punish the 15year old when she wants to do something she’s interested in.
You should support your sister, it’s no big hardship for you and at some stage in life you will need to ask her for a favour
Jesus your poor step sister. Has a shitty ass family. Glad they can have kids and not have to raise them.
Your parents suck. You should be supporting your step sister because she shouldn’t have to sacrifice her life because of your parents failings.
I am sure your parents would make an exception to you picking her up. They can even get another booster seat for your car. Maybe they could put her in after school care. Your parents need to figure it out it is their child. It sucks both of you have to give up what you want and what would look good on college application because they decided to have a child.
It strikes me that Dad and stepmom have to come to a compromise here. (I’m not against siblings having some responsibilities here.) Either they permit the sibling to ride in the car those three days, find a carpool situation for kid on those days, or they figure out a less onerous getting the kid home. For example, I can’t see why, during cheer, OP can’t skip a car day one day a week (taking sibling that day) and mom and dad each take their daughter home on another day.
Obviously, your extra-curriculars will factor into this–you have right to take them as well.
NTA and not your household in which to solve the problem for. Sorry but your step sister is going to have to sort this out with your dad and step mom. I feel for her as I think parents should solve for child care. I’m old enough to know having help around the house can make a big difference, but not at the expense of their childhood. Seems they are not even trying to find a solution.
NTA
Sounds like you don’t live with your stepsister.
In all, this is your Father and his wife’s responsibility.
If you choose to stunt one child’s life for the other, that is on them. Sucks for your stepsister. Maybe she should take it to her grandparents or someone who can advocate for her.
They can sell it as a great thing for her HS resume that will help her get into college.
Not your problem though.
It is ridiculous that your parents wanna punish your half sister because she wants to do extracurricular activities.
When you have a child, you are responsible for the child as a parent and shouldn’t be pushing duties like this on others if they can’t do it or aren’t willing to do it .
NTA, but neither is your stepsister. You and she should be a united force on this. Because it no more her responsibility/no less yours. You two are equally not responsible for your half sister and if push comes to shove they might try to force you to take this on.
Does your stepsister have the option of moving in with her other parent? Do you?
NTA
Your parents need to step in and step up.
Either you drive little sis, or they find a different solution that doesn’t involve you. And if your sister can do cheer you should be able to party in extra curriculars too. NTA
Nta but I feel for your step sister.