I (13F) saw everything. My brother (10M) was one “im hungry/thirsty” away from going to the kitchen and seeing the same thing i saw from the kitchen window. When i saw it, i kind of froze up i guess? I like stared for a good 10 seconds before i quite literally ran to the garage because I panicked and didn’t know where else to go?
They didnt come back inside for a good hour and a half i’d like to say and I was in my room then. My dad came in and asked if i wanted to go in and i said something along the lines of “not after what i saw you and mom doing in there” to which he replied to “we were just hanging out”
fast forward 4 days later, i speak my first words to my mom (it wasn’t hard to avoid them, i do anyways because they work from home and even if i do talk to them when they arent working they brush me off because theyre busy, and because they’ve been so busy i had to make dinner for my brother and i 3/4 days they were) and the words i said to her were “can you or dad make dinner tonight?” and she began yelling at me, saying that after they hadn’t heard from me for a few days the first thing i say is to ask for something is really rude and inconsiderate. she said, and i quote, “i’m sorry, you weren’t mean’t to see that, but im not sorry that your parents are in love, and will be. it’s not the first time that we’ve done it in the pool” which disgusted me so i (ahole move, i respect my parents and never yell at them except at serious matters) i yelled “don’t say that so loud, jack (fake name) is in the other room! it would be a totally different story if HE saw it and I didnt!” to which my mom replied, “well he didn’t, and youre acting like you’ve never seen boobs or a penis before, so get over it.”
it’s been another 2 days, im wondering what i should say to talk to them? they’re my parents i cant avoid them forever, especially since im so young. but AITAH? should i have done anything different?
Comments
You’re absolutely not the AH, what you saw was shocking, and your reaction was completely human. Your feelings deserve to be heard without being dismissed or shamed. It’s okay to take space, but you also deserve a calm, respectful conversation where they actually listen.
You’re not an AH, what you saw was deeply uncomfortable, and your reaction was valid for your age, even if your parents are trying to brush it off
A very soft YTA due to your age. As you tell the story, it seems like you did not see anything as in body parts. You just saw 2 adults doing the motion and understood what they were doing. Sex is normal for adults and while yes, maybe they should have gone for it while you were asleep or whatnot, it’s not the end of the world. I bet it must be uncomfortable for you as no child wants to see his parents doing it. But you are overreacting and act like you saw them hide a body in the woods. Apologize for your reaction and move on. You will reach an age when you will also have sex. Would you want your parents to shame you and treat you like a criminal for a natural process?
They were rude sure but you need to grow up – tbf they were rude but just play along even if you don’t like them that’s part of growing up
Wait I thought he did. NTA your parents are doing it in a pool. They can do it in their room, but in a pool, that’s disgusting
The fact your cooking 3 out of 4 nights at 13 when both parents wfh and then they blow up at you for asking them to cook for once is more concerning than the sex in the pool (although I agree this isn’t ideal when your kids are in the house). NTA
Your parents suck.
NTA thats gross, no one wants to see their parents going at it, let alone swim in a pool that Dad’s blown his load in.
I mean they are adults and it is their house, however they could be more considerate knowing there young children could potentially witness something they wouldn’t want to, but it’s part of being an adult, that’s how you were made…. It wasn’t meant for you to see of course but adults do have intercourse, Could they have been a little more curtious/cautious with where they chose to do it at…. Yes …… Should it be something you have issues with them about when it’s a normal thing adults do? No both sides could’ve handled it differently and they definitely could’ve talked to you in a better way about it rather than how they did, but your reaction could be a little over the edge… they are adults and it is their house at the end of the day.
Your parents still love and want each other which in today’s society is such a rare thing. It is totally normal for a child not to think of their parents as sexual beings but then if they weren’t you wouldn’t be here.
Just put it behind you and move on.
A very strong NTA. As a mom myself…. Wow. I think your reaction for your age is absolutely to be expected. I do not think your parents should have been doing it in the pool as 1.) it is unsanitary 2.) you and your sibling are walking around and clearly awake so I assume this was happening during the day and if spotted by other adults (or police) could be reported as public indecency or worse. 3.) as a woman I cringe for health reasons.
I am also sad to read you say your parents “brush you off.” Your parents almost seemed too preoccupied with themselves than to be actual parents. Your reaction thereafter is entirely to be expected for your age when you already told your parents what you saw and their response was so…. Careless, inconsiderate, and negligent to your and your siblings feelings. They should apologize to you and your siblings and cease the behavior. I wouldn’t want to hang out with my parents or be in the pool either if I knew they were boning in there! It’s disgusting. IMO, your parents need to set the example and grow the actual Phuck up.
NTA
parents are going to have sex, that happens. YOU are going to have sex (hopefully when you are older). it’s gross that their fluids are floating all in the pool now, but you REALLY DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!
parents shouldn’t have yelled and treated you like crap for being creeped out by it. and just because you HAVE seen boobs and dick before DOES NOT MEAN you want to see them being used on each other.
it boils down to the fact that your parents are embarrassed they weren’t discreet enough and got caught, and in stead of owning it, THEY are making it worse by yelling at you and trying to shame you. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Initially your parent’s did nothing wrong, but yelling at you and being assholes is wrong.
Everyone screws, every THING screws, but that doesn’t mean we all have to be ok with watching it.
Doing stuff in the pool y’all use for swimming 🤢 that’s nasty
NTA
Sex in the family pool is disgusting. No one wants to think about bodily fluids in the pool.
As a child, your parents having sex is understandably off-putting. While most kids have some experience with finding out their parents have sex, it’s normally only audible and hopefully not too much so. I imagine seeing it so out in the open was jarring, and your mom handled your reaction to that extremely immaturely
Your dad’s reaction was to immediately try to gaslight you? And never address it or apologize? Insanity
Your parents both working from home and you being able to not see them for 4 days is borderline unbelievable. That is crazily neglectful and just… that’s not even parenting. They just own the house and buy some supplies for you.
Everyone who is saying “It’s natural, it’s beautiful, it’s just body parts” is lacking a lot of perspective on being a kid and catching your parents visibly having sex in an odd location. Sure, I am glad OP’s parents want to get it on still. But most kids I know aren’t gonna be happy to get flashbanged like that. If you walk in on them in the bedroom is one thing. Yes, there was a better and more mature way to handle this, but OP is 13 and fending for themselves. They’re doing pretty good all things considered.
You are not the AH here. Your parents sure as sh*t are. There is absolutely NO excuse for them to be doing the deed where you and your sibling can walk out at any time. And to also do it where you guys would go? Thats disgusting. Not ok. I’m sorry but it should be considered abuse to be exposing your children to your s3x life! They KNEW the risk. I have trauma from hearing my own father and his gf. And your mother’s behavior after being caught is actually disgusting too. I’m sorry, kid. I’d talk to someone at school and let them know what you’re being exposed to at home. Maybe you and your brother can get out of that situation asap.
You’re also the kid. You owe your mother NOTHING. She should have made the effort to talk to you. They both should’ve. They both should’ve apologized and promised it would never happen again. The fact they didn’t and actually doubled down, is concerning. Sorry for the rambling but omfg I’m so angry for you.
What the fuck
Its the cooking part which is troublesome! TBH ur mom handled the sex in the pool issue very nicely. No1 is the AH here unless you drag it on for no reason.
NTA. I’m surprised at people calling you immature, you’re only 13! There are better ways of handling these things but I think your response was pretty normal for your age.
They shouldn’t have been having sex in the pool when their kids are around especially your younger sibling. If they’d been in a more private space, or more concealed, fine.
Also, sex in a pool that you also (presumably) use, is unsanitary for everyone concerned.
It sounds to me like they tried to deflect their embarrassment by getting angry and defensive.
Also, expecting you to do the lions share of the cooking is unfair. I’m all in favour of children helping with these things more and more as they get older, but I would say you’re a couple of years too young to have that much responsibility. Asking them to cook once is perfectly reasonable especially since they work from home and don’t have a commute to worry about.
Everybody talking about how the parents are wrong for having sex in the pool THEY paid for attached to a house THEY ALSO paid for. Dummies talkin about fluids, everyone has peed In a pool & I’m sure other members of the family has done so. That’s what the bleach & chlorine is for.. TO CLEAN. They should’ve been more careful considering op was home but they aren’t in the wrong on that part. They should definitely be making dinner for their children tho
Why has this person not been banned for being in reddit?
All the people saying sex in a pool is gross are wrong. Pool owner and I love pool sex!
Also a Mom, of 5 kids, and hubs and I have pool sex every summer.
Sorry, not sorry! Some kids have to talk to a therapist because their parents don’t have sex and get divorced. Mine will have to talk to their therapists about how Mom was hot for Dad and screwed him in the family pool every summer! And sometimes in the kitchen 😵
The part about seeing boobs and a penis before really bothers me. It’s Mom and Dad. It’s a big deal.
There should have been an immediate conversation. An immediate apology for having made the decision to do that when you kids were around.
Your parents, unfortunately, don’t take their role in your life seriously. I would suggest you go to the library and pick up the book ” An Idiots Guide to being a teenager” It’s awesome. It’s truly helpful and a fun read. They might have to order it. NTA.
Fake
NTA and exposing a minor to sex like that is absolutely abhorrent, in my view bordering on abuse. It’s one thing if your child walks in through a closed door but they took no precautions to shield their own 2 children from this.
Then we hit onto the clear shittiness of calling you wanting a night off cooking a favour! It’s your parents main job to take care of you two.
It’s not your job to care for you both, your job is to focus on school and growing into a good adult.
Should a 13 year old be on Reddit, specifically AITAH?
Your parent are being assholes not you. They did not act in a mature manner. Not because they had sex in the pool but because of how they handled things afterwards. Also… they should be cooking dinner most nights. You shouldn’t have to ask.
You should talk to a school counselor or grandparent or something. Your mom sounds insane
Hi, kid. I have mixed feeling about your story.
About your parents being non stop busy, too busy apparently for their kids and you having to co-parent your bother, I’m sorry, it should not be the case.
About seeing them.. I don’t know. I mean, I’m a mom and I pray to god my daughters never interrupt us or hear us because I, myself, would ge mortified. But I was your age when I came upon my own parents , andvquite frankly…. I was kind of okay with it. Yeah sure I did not wish to see my father’s privates, but in the same time I understood it was a normal act of love and knew they did it, otherwise I’ never been born and never had a sister.
NTA. I was going to welcome you to the ranks of the traumatized and disgusted folk who have seen a possible reenactment of their conception, but I’m more concerned about a. The nonchalance of your parents to being so public with their adult time when they have children (and neighbors), and
B. the fact that they ignore you both to the point that a middle schooler is cooking supper 3/4 nights in a row. Sure it’s summer break, but you’re not an adult. While sure you can cook some things, big nutritious meals on the regular is not your job. Neither is supervising your younger sibling. Do you have grandparents you can speak to?
ESH.
There’s no issue with them having sex in the pool. The thing that is an issue is that they expect you to make yours and your brothers tea every a lot of evenings and dont seem to see you much.
NTA NTA NTA
“Dont act as if you have never seen boobs or a penis before” is a crazy answer to give to your kid
NTA And why are you the main cook? Stop cooking for your loser parents and have them get off their asses and into the kitchen.
YTAH. Sex is a part of life. People have sex, especially a married couple. If they didn’t have sex you wouldn’t exist.
YTAH that’s life be happy they love each other
No kid should have to see that, and your parents brushing it off like it’s normal isn’t okay. You have every right to be uncomfortable, and their reaction was totally dismissive.
This sounds fake.
NTA. Your reaction is completely justified. Your parents are treating you like a hired nanny, not a daughter.
The fact that you have to know your brother’s behaviours that well and manage them is not ok.
The fact that you have to prepare meals without being asked is not ok. Let alone having to ask them to do it after multiple days in a row.
The fact that you have to protect your brother is not ok.
The fact that your parents have to be told not to have sex in visible areas is not ok.
The fact that they dismiss your discomfort is not ok.
What else do you have to do around the house? What other responsibilities that you shouldn’t have just seem normal to you?
I genuinely think you should talk to a school counsellor or family member about this. You need support from somewhere and you’re not going to get it from your parents. This is not healthy for you.
The fact that so many of yall are so quick to believe a 13 year old show how fucking stupid society is. It’s more than likely fake anyways, what fucking 13 year old writes in that manner?
If it is true, good for your parents to still be sexually active after multiple kids. Your parents aren’t going to divorce anytime soon. You should be grateful.