I have recently inherited, it isn’t much but enough that it makes a difference to my life and will help me settle a few debts and bills.
My non live in boyfriend seems to be consumed with knowing how much I have.
We do not share finances or anything at all we are essentially two people dating. We have nothing joint.
He makes comments like, well when I inherited I spent it on people. Oh you should buy me a 3k watch.
I’m not really healed from my loss yet and I wanted to shelve the inheritance until I feel better. I want to move slowly and take financial advice.
My boyfriend now says I am selfish and shutting him out of my life by not telling him the amount. He says I’m the reason we haven’t moved forwards in the relationship (actually it’s his toxic ex causing rifts and screaming at us.)
Should I be spending it on him and telling him? Aita for not doing these things?
Comments
Nah you’re not the problem here. You don’t owe him a dollar breakdown just ’cause you’re dating. The fact he’s asking for a 3k watch and guilt-tripping you is a walking red flag. Protect your peace and your wallet.
He’s only a boyfriend and needs to mind his own business. Either tell him as much or next time he whines about a 3k watch tell him you only inherited a grand!
I would think about what type of man he is, as he sounds very entitled!
NTA obviously your bf is feeling pretty excited about getting his hands on that money. And the way he‘s behaving, calling you selfish and what not I would make sure he won‘t see a dime of that nor would he see me ever again.
You are not the AH! I would dump him. He’s money hungry. He’s showing you now before you even are ready to process the death. Red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA.
And if your debts cost more to service that the return on investing the inheritance then you would be wise to use the money to settle them.
you do not have to tell anyone anything sooner or laterthey will be asking you for money when my on died becuse i was next of kin i did get some money not a large amound but a nice chunk of change when people asked me how much or what was i going to do with the money i sai im really uncompfortable talking about money and that stopped them
This would be grounds for ending the relationship for me. You’re just dating still, not even living together, much less joint finances and things you both pay for (such as a mortgage or kids).
The fact that he’s asking for an expensive watch is a major red flag. Even bigger red flags that he’s twisting it around that you’re selfish and the reason you two won’t move forward.
NTA. But he’s a special kind of asshole. You didn’t win the lottery, someone died for you to receive that money, you’re grieving. Even if you’d won it under better circumstances, he’s not entitled to any of it. He’s showing what’s really important to him, and you’re not it.
NTA! sounds like he spent all his money recklessly. Don’t listen to him
Drop him. Seriously. I had a an tell me my late husband wanted me to take him on a safari with the life insurance. Yeah, right. 😂
NTA.
He can’t expect to be treated as a spouse when he’s only BF level.
He sounds just as toxic as his ex. I would save the money( as an nest egg). I would seriously reflect on the relationship..
Money has a way of bringing the worst out of people. He is entitled to nothing of yours.
Use the money on your bills and debts save or invest the rest where he can’t touch it.
NTA, that’s YOUR money. He isn’t entitled to know how much money YOU’RE getting back!
He’s the asshole, inheritance aside from what it seems.
Inheritance aside. I don’t trust that anyone’s priorities are in order if the first thing they ask for is a watch worth 3k. Instant red flag.
Dude sounds like a loser.
This is not your long term partner.
NTA he sounds like a walking red flag. Are you sure his ex is toxic and not just him leading her on??
These are massive red flags. Immaturity (spend it all now wheeee), selfishness(spend it on me), controlling (you have to tell me how much money yuou have or else you are the problem in this relationship), and lack of empathy (forget your loss, let’s talk about the money) are all, individually, concerning enough to reconsider the relationship. Together, I would have to quote Whoopi in Ghost: ‘Girl, you in danger’
To me, it sounds like you are grieving. Don’t make any big decisions yet, wait until you are feeling more steady.
Your boyfriend does not sound like he is adding positive things to your life? He demands things and his ex does a lot of screaming? Do not give him anything. Split dates and things but certainly do not share anything else with him. Again once you are more steady I would say look hard at this relationship and ask, do the benefits outweigh the negatives? Because from the little you say here, he sounds demanding and grasping, and yet not at all supportive in your grief.
Your BF is a selfish jerk. I’d drop him in a nanosecond if I were you!
Nta. Break up with him. Have some self respect. He’s a gold digger.
Wow, NTA, but your BF sure is… I’d dump that gold digger, he’s already shown his true colors
Break up with this person. Gd vulture.
Real men don’t ask you to buy them stuff.
NTA, he’s being a gold digger and stressing you out, when you’re already grieving, because he thinks you’re vulnerable. He’s predatory and not a good person to keep around you.
Is his birthday coming up or something? I don’t know why he thinks you need to spend a bunch of money on him just because you got an inheritance when you’re just dating.
NTA
What kind of person calls a grieving person selfish for not buying them a 3k watch?
Can you seriously not read what you wrote and recognize this person doesn’t love you.. at all?
I’m a stranger and want to comfort you through your loss. Why do I care more about you and your grief than your boyfriend does?!
Don’t tell him anything. But honestly, you should break up with him so you can focus on your grief. He is making it harder for you to process the loss and it will be easier without him. I’m so sorry you had to see his true colors while you had such a terrible loss. My heart goes out to you, OP.
NTA- tell boo boo to calm down- you are still grieving and he needs to respect that and everything that comes with that process, if he doesn’t then that’s your proof that maybe he isn’t someone you really want to spend forever with and should seriously consider not spending money on… it’s not his business what you inherited, if you don’t want to tell him then don’t and tell him to fly a kite 😉 I’m sorry for your loss, good luck with boo boo
Cmon – you must KNOW you are NTA for not getting your bf a watch cos you got an inheritance.
I’d drop the dude – it’s a big red flag.
You have a boyfriend problem. He thinks he is entitled to information about and a share of your inheritance and is pressuring you to spend money on him. NTA, he is a walking red flag.
He’s just someone you’re dating.
He wouldn’t be entitled to anything if you were married.
This greedy tool is showing you who he is. Believe him.
NTA
You should be shutting him off for real since it seems he’s trying to take advantage of you and manipulate you into spending money on him.
What makes him think there was an inheritance? Something you said? NTAH just a look into your future
NTA, it’s your money, he has no right to it, nor does he need to know the amount. Sounds like if he knew the amount, he would just know (in his mind) how much you have to spend on him. And he would continue to be vocal about it. Instead of worrying about the amount and what he wants from your money, he should be supporting you, with whatever you want to do with your money and your loss. Sounds like his ex isn’t the only toxic one. My sympathies to you for your loss.
dump and move on
NO, you should NOT be spending anything on him. Your inheritance is none of his business and his manipulation and guilt tripping attempts are disgusting. Make it very clear to him that this inheritance (all of it) is for YOUR future, not for anyone else and that he clearly doesn’t respect that so it’s best to go your separate ways. You’re getting nothing but stress and trouble from this guy, why are you with him?
Take this as a blessing from your loved on to help you see your boyfriend for the type of person he is and break up with him.
I would move on. He is not right for you.
NTA.
Also, you don’t need to pay anyone for financial advice if you have debts and bills. Pay those off first.
NTA. These are huge red flags!!! His behavior sounds selfish and greedy and incredibly insensitive. Instead of being focused on how you’re feeling and how you’re healing and what do you need he’s trying to manipulate you into giving him money! Never tell him anything or tell him it’s all done to pay bills already. Better yet dump his sorry ass and block him. Updateme
NTA when considering a partner it’s extremely important to watch their behavior during these kinds of moments. A boyfriend/girlfriend who has no shared finances should not be looking at your money beyond evaluating if you are financially stable/responsible and what kind of lifestyle you might have together. He is not only not looking at your finances through a lens of how you can both build a good life together he is exclusively looking at what he can gain from it. This guy does not love you, he is looking to use you. Has he asked about your financial concerns or goals? I’m guessing not. You should not share your inheritance with anyone, if the deceased had wanted it to go to him he would have been in the will. Even if you were married he would not be entitled to an inheritance.
NTA. I am so sorry for your loss. Your boyfriend’s behavior is alarming. Tell him that it is not life changing money and that this behavior is alarming you.
Don’t tell him a thing and ditch that loser. He doesn’t love you. Someone has to say it. Now that you know it’s all on you.
Absolutely not.
Dude is a leech. Dump him.
He’s weird
Must need money
My wife is going to inherit a chunk of money and property within the next decade. The money is currently invested.
We’ve been together almost 20 years. I never ask about it. Her family does purposely include me in discussions about it but I still remain completely silent about it unless I am specifically asked for my opinion. I always preface any response with “it’s not my decision and I don’t feel it’s really my place, but if you want my opinion here are my thoughts….”
The fact that he’s asking you these types of questions is completely foreign to me.
NTA. You’re dating, not married. He’s acting like you owe him a cut just for existing. The 3k watch comment alone is a Grieve, heal, and protect your peace (and your wallet).
If you don’t live together and have shared bills and responsibilities you’re money is nothing to do with him
NTA. Keep the inheritance and its amount to yourself. Dump the boyfriend. He’s not a good fit. For anyone most likely.
3k watch? That’s enough to dump him alone.
Reasons:
This is not a long term guy.
“My non-seriously-committed boyfriend says I’m selfish because I won’t spend thousands of dollars on random luxury items for him out of an undisclosed amount of money I very recently inherited from someone I am still actively grieving.”
NTA.
lose the bf … he wants your money not you … nta
He needs to be your ex-boyfriend.
NTA.
He’s gold digging.. it’s non of his business.
NTA you’re grieving and being smart with your money, and your boyfriend’s pressure and entitlement are major red flags.
Block him and move on. He’s gonna bleed you dry otherwise.
NTA
It’s none of his business and the fact that he’s trying to guilt you into spending it on him is a huge 🚩
I would seriously reconsider this entire relationship. Who asked questions like that when you are just dating?
Tell him it’s all invested for retirement and you can’t touch it. Or you can dump him. Money make people stupid.
Often I disagree when reddit says “run away, get a lawyer and hit the gym”, but in this case, run away. He’ll keep bugging you until you crack and waste your money on stupid shit for him.
NTA. Your bf sounds like a gold digger and I feel he’s being manipulative on top of being extremely entitled. That inheritance is yours and you should do what you want with it. He’s just a bf, you have nothing joint, so he needs to mind his own biz and fk off.
I don’t know how you can see him what with all the red flags waving in front of your face.
It is your boyfriend’s business to support your healing from your loss. It’s not his business how much you inherited.
Take a hard look at which business he’s focusing on, and make your decision to keep him or to protect yourself and leave. NTA.
Your bf is the toxic one by the way.
Please do not stay with this man. He is a user and he’s selfish
Run for your life girl
Red flag.
I think you need to address it since he keeps bringing it up. “Joe – you keep bringing up my inheritance in a not so subtle way. Let’s get this sorted out now – it’s none of your business how much or how little I received. I’m not going to tell you. It’s already been used (tell him this to get him to shut up) and you thinking I should spend exorbitant amounts of my money on you is not a good look. I used it for my debts. If you want a $3K watch save up. Leave me in peace to grieve for my loss. Your gold-digging comments are off-putting and cruel.”
And when (yes when) he turns it around and gaslights you and says he never meant you should spend it on him, he was just talking out loud, you e got him all wrong, then you’ve learned a valuable lesson.
He’s shown you who he truly is. Do you really want to be with someone like that?
NTA. Lose the boyfriend.
Run! He’s entitled, selfish and controlling… that and the psycho ex… why bother?
NTA, hon… look at your situation. His ex is causing unnecessary drama in your life. He, who has no buisness knowing what is in YOUR wallet is calling you out for not spoiling him. He is showing you what a future with him entails.
I don’t normally advocate for relationship ending but this is too big a red flag. It will only getting bigger and bigger. You do you, and find someone more mature to spend your time with.
DO NOT TELL HIM THE AMOUNT YOU INHERITED.
It’s your business, you’ve already decided how to handle the money, case closed.
This is actually a test from The Universe. If this is a deal breaker for your boyfriend, then it’s time to break the deal with him.
He’s so awful. Get away from him.
I’m sorry for your loss.
NTA. Not only did you inherit some money but also a test to help you realize that you two are not compatible when it comes to finances.
His minds on money. Freeze your credit.
Girl it’s not his “crazy ex” holding a relationship with him back… it’s him 😂
What a leech, he’s not even married to you yet and he’s upset with you for holding back property from him. He’s not dating you, he’s owning you and upset that you’re interrupting him from it
This is a gigantic red flag and sufficient to end things in my book. You’re grieving, yet all he can think about is taking advantage of the money left to you.
This is a man of low character. He’s prioritizing his selfish desires over your suffering. Is this really the type of man you want to potentially marry and have children with?
What’s even more pathetic is he wants a 3k watch. How exactly does that improve his life? Clearly, he can’t afford that luxury as is.
Dump him
NTA. He is not interested in you, he’s interested in what he can get from. You.
First 🚩 for you!
Why does he think that just because you’re dating that he is entitled to know anything at all about your finances, let alone what you inherit? NTA. And protect your inheritance. Tell him your inheritance is for you, not for him. And if he is having trouble with finances or wants a special purchase, that’s what second jobs are for.
Nta, don’t share that info or inheritance.
Drop him.
DUMP HIS ASS TODAY.
You don’t share finances with him. You don’t need to tell him. You didn’t need to tell him you inherited anything.
NTA. Do not tell him, and don’t give him a dime. He’s the selfish one. You need to heal emotionally, and his selfishness is only making it worse. I hope he’s your soon to be ex. The audacity is mind-blowing.
NTA. I am sorry for your loss. His ex is not the only toxic idiot here. He is as well. He is using your grief to manipulate you and try to financially take advantage of you. The moment he asked you to buy him a $3K watch is the moment you should have dumped him. He is a walking red flag 🚩. Be thankful your finances are not commingled and you have your own place. Makes it easier to dump him. You are being smart by wanting to speak with a financial advisor. You may get more “mileage” out of the money you inherited. Sending you good vibes 😊
NTA, your boyfriend is.
NTA. It’s your inheritance, not his. You ja e zero obligation, legal or otherwise, to him. You are dating. He sounds toxic as hell and not just his ex. He can’t even let you grieve? Fuck him. What he spent his inheritance on is up to him. What you do with yours is up to you. The fact he seems entitled to yours speaks volumes. Massive massive red flag. 3k watch? Why? A watch is a watch. They all function the same. Honestly, I’d just end it with him now before it spirals into something g bugger and more toxic than it already is. Honestly, take the time to think about this relationship and how he has acted through it. This is ridiculous. I’d be out there so fast. You have no real attachment to this guy, and he wants your money. Fuck off.
Nta He’s the AH and a gaslighter.
You can do better. The 3k watch content is a huge red flag. Or it should be.
You should run away from this relationship before it goes any further.
NTA unless you don’t break up with this chump.
Hmm. sounds like its time for a new boyfriend. This one sounds like a manipulater.
Leave him
Dump him !!!!
Don’t spend a dime of it beyond eliminating debt. Invest it, wait one year, then spend a portion of the dividend as a treat. 10% etc. You can spend the partial dividend however you want. Make it a gift, a joint experience what ever. Before you decide on how much dividend to spend read about rule of 7. Basically compounded dividends untouched can double in about 7 years.
Never ever touch the principal $.
He’s a Gold digger.
Cut that guy LOOSE! So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩
HE is the reason you haven’t moved forward in your relationship, this is so shitty and manipulative.
Asking for a $3k watch should result in a dumping.
No one is entitled to know how much you inherited especially some little boy who now views you as an ATM. Give him back to his toxic ex because they deserve each other. NTA
Dump him now and move on, you’ll want to thank me later, but no need.
Spend it the way you want to and get rid of him
What kind of a person actually wants a 3000 dollar watch? Thats pretty telling to me. Run!
I’ve been married for 22 years and don’t expect my wife to get me a $3K watch!
I’d sit him down.
Go over the complete inheritance, all the details, how much you made, what you intend to do with it.
And then, after he has all of that information, break up with him.
The two of you are not financially compatible. And if you need a better indication of why the two of you are not compatible, a $3000 watch should be the biggest red flag of all of that. The only people that should be wearing a 3000 watch are people that can afford a $3000 watch without thinking about it. He does not sound like that kind of person.
NTA he’s a money grubbing asshole who wants you to buy him things and doesn’t give a fuck about your loss just sees $$$ and what you could potentially buy him.
All I can think of is Sarah Stern who was murdered by her childhood best friend someone she listed as her FAMILY on FB, went to homecoming with, over a couple of thousand dollars. The shit stain then got another childhood friend to help dump her body over a bridge. He then complained about how long it took her to die and how little money there was.
Don’t tell him ANYTHING and dump him NOW.
Absolutely do not tell him or buy him anything of value.
Nope.
Bounce.
>Oh you should buy me a 3k watch.
what a fucking clown. drop his ass
He doesn’t see you as a girlfriend, he sees you as an ATM. No one should know about your inheritance but you unless you can trust them completely to not take advantage. This relationship as you knew it is over—who asks for a 3k watch? You aren’t TAH, but he is.
anyone telling you that you are an issue in a relationship, you should leave.
Im sure at this stage he has zero access to your finances but I’d park the money in a high yield savings account. Something he cannot access “by accident” and you can keep separate from your day-to-day finances. Let it sit there and make money.
Now, grieve , take time for yourself, don’t do anything with the inheritance for at least six months…you’re not in the right headspace for big fiscal decisions though it sounds like you want to do smart things with the money. Nobody should expect anything FROM you, now, or in the future. This is YOUR inheritance, the fact this twit feels like he’s entitled to a penny of it tells me how immature and selfish he is. This would be a line in the sand if I was in your shoes.
Good luck!
NTAH if my partner came into a sum of money I’d be curious sure but my focus wouldn’t be to guilt trip her into spending it on me. Your Bf is self centred and quite entitled too. He should encourage you to be using it to help change your life or put you in a stronger position for the future.
Before answering should you be spending on him, which, I think you know the answer if you make a comparison to parenting, why not answer, should you be dating children?
This whole ‘buy me a 3K watch’ makes me wonder what he did to the ex that made her do crazy things and earn the ‘toxic’ tag. Run. Run far, run fast.
Please leave this asshole. You will get nothing good out of him.
Edit: I inherited a significant amount of money when I was 22 and I regret every penny I spent on my dumb boyfriend who actually HAD rich parents supporting him (unlike me, besides the inheritence from my grandmother)
Ghost the mooch. Live your best life!
Sorry but him asking for a watch … send him back to his ex! Cause now he showing you why he’s toxic, protect your assets and peace, go to the bank and add your parents or a family member you trust as beneficiaries in case he tries anything funny.
Run, please, I beg you
Yikes, NTA this guy is a gold digging manipulator. You need to dump him. He doesn’t sound like anyone you want to start a life with anyway. Who needs a 3k dollar watch. Stick to your guns. Never share financial information.
I would go with either None of your business or What difference doe oi make?
Nta
Hmmm. I’d have a conversation with that “toxic ex” if I were you. Could be an eye opener
NTA, sounds like he’s trying to manipulate you out of your inheritance. This is NOT a good guy. Be warned.
Break up. He’s never going to stop hounding you for money.
He’s a gold digger.
I would dump him. None of his business. He is selfish for cashing trying to in on your loss and grief.
Do not trust this NON LIVE IN BF…. He thinks he is entitled to something that you inherited. I’d drop him before he helps himself to a new 3k watch from your debit card…. NTA. How could you even possibly think that you were?
Get rid of him ASAP.
Massive RED FLAGS
He isn’t entitled to shit. Time to break up.
NTA. Please do not give this man any of your inheritance. It’s a big red flag that he calls you selfish for making your own decisions about the inheritance.
Girl that last paragraph should tell you all you need to know. Keep your inheritance, dump the boyfriend. He seems to be more concerned about money than the fact that you lost a loved one.
Also hint hint no one worth keeping asks you to spend your recent inheritance on a 3k watch for themselves.
NTA. Boyfriends and girlfriends don’t get that info until married.
Say it worth the amount of debt you have plus like $500 and you already when through with paying all the debts. And remind him you got none of his inheritance
Red flag. He doesn’t care that you’re grieving, regardless of the monetary gain. He also doesn’t see himself in a long-term financially responsible relationship, if he is just asking for lavish gifts.
NTA. Holly crap he actually said you should get him a $3k present. That’s insanity.
Time to find another boyfriend. This is a huge red flag! He should not be demanding to know the amount or for you to buy him a $3k watch. That’s presumptuous and ludicrous! Run girl run!
He’s jealous greedy and broke!
My fiancé is set to get a sizable inheritance in the next month or two. I’ve told her the entire time that its her money and she can use it however she wants. We’ve talked about different possibilities, but she is choosing (without any pressure from me) to eliminate all our debt which will enable us to finally save enough each month for the lifestyle we want (just travel really). As others have said, that he is guilting you into spending money on him for stupid stuff like a 3k watch is a massive red flag.
Luckily he showed his true colors. If I were you, I’d see him for what he is and quietly move on.
He just wants your money. Hold on and I’m sorry for your loss
NTA. Whatever you do with YOUR inheritance is YOUR choice. He shouldn’t/isn’t entitled to your inheritance simply because you’re dating. Sounds like a crappy partner.
I would call this your red flag moment. Ditch the greedy, insensitive Ahole. NTA
Soo…he’s saying you must not love me because he didn’t get a watch.
Dump that gold digger. And never discuss your finances unless you are getting married. Even then, inheritance isn’t joint property.
Nope, nope! This is a huge red flag. He is not entitled to any information, and even if you were married, he is not entitled to that information. He most certainly is not entitled to any money. Gross. Good thing he has shown his true colors now before you waste another minute on this horrible relationship.
NTA
Classic leech – wants to know how much you have and then guilt and coerce you into spending on his things. If he is blaming you for not moving the relationship forward because you wont be his sugarmama- let him go back to his ex. At this point i think they deserve each other.
I’m curious how long you and your bf have been together? I would never feel comfortable asking someone for a 3k watch.
Obviously you have already made the mistake of telling your greedy boyfriend that you received an inheritance. Don’t compound that mistake by telling him how much it was. Just tell him nothing, or lie.
Or maybe leave? If you continue this relationship and he gets access to your finances later on, he’ll probably take it anyway.
This really indicates to me that he is not the one for you. He’s more interested in how much you received than helping you with the grief. Is this the kind of selfish person you want? NTA
He’s telling you LOUDLY who he is. Pay attention. Believe him.
Edit to add : Is the same boyfriend who’s been making rude comments about your weight and laughing in front of his friends and then gaslighting you about it when you get home?
NTA but you are seeing a man who is more invested in your money then in you. Don’t give him anything. You are seeing red flags. He wants the money for himself!!
Break it off with the money leech. Do better.
Any man who is so fixated on financials like this wouldn’t be in my life. Your inheritance to actually make a difference in your life, not some bf who might not be in a few years time. You dont live together, you arent married and you dont combine finances..
Sure you may have given him a little gift but anyone asking and begging wouldn’t get a dime..
Are you sure your values align? I would be seriously questioning him
NTA, You lost family and he wants gifts….
A real partner would encourage you to see a financial advisor to determine next best steps regarding paying off debt and investing for your future.
Red flag 🚩 he’s greedy and selfish, settle your debts so you don’t deal with the interest
When my dad died my siblings and I divided the amounts equally and I cried while at the bank knowing it is just another thing to do for accepting that he’s gone and I didn’t tell my kids dad I just did online grocery delivery orders and didn’t leave my home or community for several months I suggest you rethink this relationship because the person who left the money for you intended it for you to get ahead and provide security or maybe even take a course like a short term class or something to improve your career
Buy comfortable footwear, buy a comfortable coat buy something to bring you comfort like a new memory foam bed or something that will last
His behavior drips of greed, selfishness and envy, not the characteristics one would want in a partner. You have been given an insight into who he really is right now, take advantage of that and rid yourself of this future heartbreak. You are worthy of more in a partner.
Nta.
Where is his inheritance now? If he blew it on expensive material things that is all i would need to know about him. He wouldn’t be a good match at all. And that doesn’t even factor in his inappropriate intrusion into your personal financial business.
You should be saying EX boyfriend. If he feels that entitled at this stage he will be a nightmare as a fiance, spouse and God forbid a co-parent.
NTA. Ate you colour blind because why can’t you see the red flags he is waving? I’m betting it’s not his ex that’s toxic alone.
Dump him
“You’re right. I am the reason we haven’t, and won’t, move forward in this relationship. I can see you’re pretty keen to do so, now that I have money!
I have no intention of ever being your sugar momma, so you should really keep shopping if you’re looking for an idiot with money.”
You’re not compatible. You get a financial windfall and your first thought is “Hey, debts and bills!” He smells a financial windfall nearby and thinks “Hey, a $3k watch for me!”
He’s too childish for you to spend any more time with.
He’s the asshole, a 3K Watch? GTFOH. Unbelievable. Just tell him you can’t share the number, but you’re no longer interested in peasants. NEXT!
NTA… even if you’re married legally inheritance is only yours if you do not commingle it with marital money. So for some boyfriend, forget it.
“ you don’t need to know the dollar amount, but it’s not that much and is enough to help me settle some debts and bills. It is not enough to buy $3000 watches.”
I’m not given to knee jerk respones. This is an exception.
Red Flag🚩🚨
If your friend told you this same story about herself, what would you say to her?
Please be kind to your future self and live your best life.
NTA. People come out of the woodwork when money is involved, such as an inheritance! And they also show their true colors, so pay attention OP!
Don’t share your financial status with someone who isn’t sharing your bills
Sounds like you need a new BF.
I would leave this person. They aren’t being respectful of your grief and also are using you.
He wants a 3k dollar watch and is asking you to buy it? Dump this dude.
Run! There are so many partners that would tell you to hide it away to spend on yourself later and be happy you do.
If you were married and decided to divorce, the inheritance would not be considered part of marital assets. He wouldn’t get any. No matter how long you’d been married.
I love how he’s calling you selfish for not spending your inheritance on him.
I’m sorry you had to learn the hard truth that it’s best to not tell anyone you inherited. Sometimes that even includes spouses. There is nothing wrong with not sharing information and even straight up lying if one is preserving their peace from a greedy and / or controlling partner. Yes, ideally we would dump them. But sometimes it’s about harm reduction not perfection.
NTA. Super not his business in any circumstance — but especially not in the current state of the relationship. It’s incredibly entitled for him to behave this way.