I ( male) work in a corporate office and have a pretty set routine. Every day around 2pm, I go to the same coffee shop near the office for my usual pick-me-up. Over time, I started noticing that one of the baristas (a gay male, I assume) developed a crush on me.
It started with little things and gradually the perks increased: notes on my cup, free size upgrades, my order would come out first despite a line in front of me, sometimes even having my drink ready before I ordered – things like that. I would often go with coworkers, and they noticed I was the only one getting this VIP treatment. He never flirted openly or said anything suggestive, just friendly small talk and what was mentioned above. This went on for ~6 months.
To be clear, I never told him I was gay (I’m not, I’m straight), but I also never told him I wasn’t. In my mind, I was just existing and enjoying the coffee perks. I didn’t see it as leading anyone on. I never gave him my number, never flirted, nothing like that. If anything, he could have asked if I was into guys, but he didn’t.
My coworker, who we’ll call Sally, frequently goes on coffee runs with me. Sally disagrees with my view on the situation and considers not telling him my sexuality is implicitly leading him on.
One day, Sally went on a coffee run alone when he was working. Apparently, he told her, “I want to ask you a question about [my name], but I don’t want to ruin my fantasy.” She took that as her cue that I should be upfront about being straight. When Sally told me this, she again told me I was being an asshole for not being upfront, and that I was “leading him on” by not correcting his assumptions. After 6 months, she had enough and took it upon herself to tell him I was straight.
Of course after she told him this, he started to treat me like a regular customer, maybe worse. He would refuse to acknowledge my presence and would put my order out without saying my name. I would ask him if it was my order, and he would say no. A minute later, I would ask him again if the same drink was mine, and he would say “yeah, that’s it.”
I honestly didn’t think it was my responsibility to clarify something he never asked. Plus, I didn’t do anything to encourage or initiate this crush. I was just getting coffee and minding my business. If anything, I think it was kind of unfair of her to drop the truth so bluntly when he clearly wasn’t ready to hear it.
AITA for not telling the barista I’m straight and continuing to accept the perks?
TLDR: I (straight male) go for a coffee run by my office everyday and the (gay male) barista developed a crush on me. He gave me VIP treatment for ~6 months before my coworker had enough and told him I was straight. He never asked me about my sexuality and there was no flirting, just small talk. AITA for accepting the perks and not disclosing that I’m straight?
Comments
No, if you asked me, Sally sounds jealous
E(except Sally)SH. The barista shouldn’t be using his position to get in your good graces, and you shouldn’t be accepting preferential treatment under false pretenses
NTA. Not your fault he wasn’t direct. Receiving what I call “pretty people treatment” is part of life, being pretty gets you extra perks.
So….what are you willing to do for the perk spigot to be turned back on?
Tell Sally to search for seashells and shut the fuck up lol
NTA, you didn’t owe him an explanation and it’s unfair to expect someone to read into your silence, sometimes people just want to be kind without overcomplicating things, and that’s not something to feel guilty about, everyone deserves a little extra kindness now and then.
There is an a hole in this story and her name is Sally.
It would be kinda awkward to approach a barista and say “hey I’m straight btw” so NTA
Yes. I think that anyone who uses others are strait trash. Using another’s ignorance to benefit is trash. Roach mentality.
Nta but are you comfortable being a fantasy for someone you see often? That would make me super uncomfortable.
NTA.. It’s not up to you to announce your sexuality, attraction or lack of attraction to people you casually meet during your day. A little fantasy is fun. We’ve all done it. Your co worker was out of line. I would not doubt she told him in a way that was as unkind and embarrassing to him as possible.
People like her suck the joy out of such simple things
NTA, but it would be kind of you to let the guy know that you are flattered but not interested.
Sally is a miserable human being
Time to cut Sally off, what a busybody. Who knows what else she is saying behind your back.
Oh, man, I was gonna tell you to enjoy your time in “The Bubble” where good looking people get treated better. NTA. In the same way a female isn’t “leading a guy on” by looking good, you’re not doing anything other than being friendly and attractive. Your coworker blew it.
Bring a guy in with you next time. Kiss the guy you bring where the barista (baristo?) can see it. Might fix the problem.
NTA. I think you have grounds to sue Sally.
See what I did there.
None of this is your doing, or your fault.
NTA. i used to do this for all my regulars and it was never with sexual intention. i would sometimes give random strangers free stuff just for smiling in line. if he only treats customers he’s trying to get with like that then it’s literally his fault only.
kindness is a default, not a way to hit on someone. everyone deserves a special treat every now and then without having to fuck for it.
YTA
Just remember this: Honesty is the best policy.
This is what a normal, well adjusted, kind person would have done after only a couple of instances:
Thanked the baristi, mentioned that you found the special treatment to be nice and touching, however, you feel the need to clear the air and reveal that while you are flattered, you are straight. Thank the baristi again and wish them a lovely day. At future encounters you would be friendly, but not accept the special treatment.
SIMPLE
NTA. Sally is a bitch and the barista is not taking things well,
I mean, he’s on the job. Giving you “benefits” is bad to begin with.
But ultimately, if a straight male barista gave “benefits” to Sally aiming to her cooch, how would she take it? Would she lead him on? I’m pretty sure that’s what she would like.
Nope. I worked at a tanning salon as a manager. The girls would have crushes on guys and give them special treatment. Happens in all customer service jobs regardless of sexuality.
NTA
I’d be curious what exactly Sally told him for him to now give you the cold shoulder (I.e., exactly how blunt was she).
Also, I wouldn’t do coffee runs (or anything social) with Sally. She sounds awful.
Nope you did nothing wrong you didn’t ask for special treatment he just gave that’s on him but I would report him if he keeps lying about your drink
It sounded pretty harmless, honestly. Why was it anyone else’s business? Sally is a coworker, not your mother. Set boundaries.
Yta. You used him. Simple as that. You knew he was crushing and yet you knew if you said anything that would deter him would stop any freebies for you. User.
NTA. I think the barista is TA for treating you worse than average after finding out, but I don’t really blame Sally for telling him. I’d probably want to do the same after that comment he made.
You took advantage for many months! Now that youare no longer an item of interest you are “hurt’?
Sally was definitely jealous that she wasn’t getting perks. She didn’t actually care about the guy.
NTA.
NTA. The AH is the barista if he is now treating OP rudely. Imagine if he were straight, giving favors to a woman he was attracted to, and started treating her rudely upon learning she’s gay. We’d all agree that is terrible behavior.
Sally also needed to mind her own business.
Pretty women get “perks” without asking or flirting.
NTA
Sally was just annoyed you were getting better treatment than her.
The guy never asked you out. Sounds like he never had a conversation with you. It’s none of his business which way you swing.
NTA. If the barista never bothered to ask you out or even make any sort of conversation outside of “here’s your coffee,” then no, you don’t owe him a damn thing. Enjoy your perks while they last.
NTA. In fact it would be inappropriate for OP to announce their sexuality to a service provider in a professional setting. Barista was unprofessional and turned into a full on AH with their passive aggressive treatment of OP after Sally (another AH in this story) outed OP.
Sally needs to take a hike. She just ruined something nice for you. Also be cautious going there now because the barista might lash out. (Seen it happen) Idk rather safe than sorry. But yeah. No more Sally
Sally being the Karen of the story here
Sally is a hardcore asshat.
Forcibly disclosing your sexuality is something you shouldn’t have to deal with in any situation. You didn’t ask him to give you those perks. You didn’t deceive him in any way. All you did was order coffee. I’m sorry Sally ruined your coffee perks, she’s definitely either jealous or not busy enough in her own life.
NTA I may be gay, straight or bi. I’m bi and wouldn’t announce it in the middle of the line at a coffee shop.
NTA.
Unless you were flirting back or leading him on, I don’t see why you would be.
Personally, I don’t see accepting the perks as a way of flirting back or whatever, because I also don’t see the perks necessarily as flirting, because people can be nice just at a friendship level. I would think he was doing it just because you’re a regular.
I do see why Sally was upset, but I don’t think it was her place to talk to him. I think a better way to go about it would have been “that question that is on your mind, you should ask/talk to him directly”.
I debate if you should have said something directly because what if it wasn’t flirting and he took it as “oh, just because I’m gay and you think you’re attractive, I can’t just be nice in a friendly way?” Idk.
NTA if you really didn’t ask for anything special and never alluded to there being any interest on your end. No problem in accepting a compliment in the form of a free upgrade. Barista is the asshole here for thinking free coffee will get them laid and then pulling a 180 when they find out they’re not, and Sally is an even bigger asshole for blowing up your spot. What a tattle-tale.
Honesty is always the best policy. I’m sure you would be hurt if you lavished attention on a woman that you were attracted to only to find out 6 months later that she wasn’t into guys.
YTA if you’re mad she told him you were straight? She told the truth, so the only reason you’d have to be upset is if you were purposefully withholding that truth.
Sally sounds jealous asf that you got pretty privilege lol (I was a barista up until 3 months ago and I have definitely given pretty people coffee perks lol)
NTA, but goddamn that’s a terrible employee
I’m in the same situation. I am straight, my gay barista keeps giving me special treatment, I never told him I am straight. Today, we are celebrating our two year wedding anniversary. Lol. I still haven’t told my husband I’m not gay.
NTA. Sally ruined his fantasy.
NTA. Sally sounds jealous and petty
NTA, but Sally is.
NTA. Maybe he isn’t gay either. Maybe he just likes you as a person. I say if its not broke don’t fix it!
The barista was unprofessional and Sally needed to mind her own business. NTA.
You got the perks, the barista got the fantasy and then that troll faced goblin had to go and poop in the punch bowl. Sally, you are the worst!
NTA, dude had a fantasy going and Salty Sally was jelly. Not your fault. He was unprofessional from the start.
What a c you next Tuesday Sally is
NTA but Sally is. Tell her to keep her nose out of your business.
No one is entitled to know your sexuality
Sally is the overwhelming AH here.
NTA
Sally’s an AH, as is the petty and immature barista.
NTA and sally can shove it
NTA
And you might want to clear the air with him, because she might have told him you intentionally led him on because you wanted special treatment.
And to be clear – I’ve had service workers at places I frequent do the same kind of things just because I was friendly and decent. No crush had to be involved. So it would have been pretty presumptuous to suddenly speak up about a “crush” he never explicitly mentioned.
Sally is the AH
all Sallys are like that. lol! JEALOUS1
If it’s not okay to out someone for being gay, then it’s not okay to confirm anyone’s sexuality. Sally is an asshole. You, NTA.
Nah .. definitely sounds like coworker is jealous she 1 isn’t receiving special treatment and 2 has a thing for the co worker herself .
NTA, but that barista sure is. Imagine crafting a whole ass one-sided fantasy in your head for six months, failing to communicate and gather pertinent information about someone you’re interested in, and then suddenly treating that person badly simply because you found out they are not attracted to you.
This constitutes a form of harassment. I would bring it to the attention of the cafe’s manager. They should be made aware of that they have an employee who is behaving inappropriately to patrons. You shouldn’t be ignored and lied to (“No that’s not your drink, oh wait now that it’s cold yes it is”) for not returning a crush.
NTA I agree with you.
I think possibly you should have returned the flirt and told him No.
I would have found another place to get coffee.
As other’s have stated
Sally is just straight up Jealous
Nobody gives her perks because they are attracted to her…so given the crabs in a bucket mentality that she lives by, she had to make sure you didn’t get perks either
If this guy wants to fantasize about you…then there is nothing wrong with that
You can’t just be all I’m not gay, quit flirting with me
That’s how you become an internet meme
If I were you, I’d distance myself from Sally and just be the same customer you have always been in the coffee shop
if this guy keeps making it awkward, lodge a complaint
NAH except Sally
ESH
You weren’t one at first, but when the barista started actually asking, you should have said at that point. Even if it was Sally he asked, you knew he had, which dose imply a potential desire to escalate things.
Sally, however should not have outed you and gotten in the middle. And….the barista, while its understandable he’d stop the extra perks shouldn’t suddenly be acting like he doesn’t know you. That’s childish and rude. You don’t owe him a relationship.
The dude straight up told her he didn’t want his fantasy ruined and she did it anyway. Sally needs to learn to MHOFB.
How exactly do you initiate that conversation with him?
“Hey, I noticed you are really nice to me, so I’m going to assume you are gay and into me, but I’m not into guys, I’m straight, so if your niceness is based on the hope of something, I feel I should be honest and tell you.”
Nothing like a rejection slap in the face when you haven’t even been asked out.
NTA. Sally wants the D. Keep up the good work. Think about it. Things were just fine for six months for everyone.
Jealousy is an ugly emotion
It’s nice to know men treat other men like this who aren’t into them as well. Thought it was a womanly struggle, but, nah, they just overall can’t handle rejection sometimes.
NTA. Had a similar thing at a convenience store and a coffee shop at different points 🤷🏼♂️ it was more a confidence booster than anything else personally.
NTA – frequent customers who are respectful of the employees often get better treatment than random or annoying customers…. it doesn’t mean the employees are hitting on the customer.
Did he call you cutie? Wink at you? Draw hearts around your name? Leave his phone number on your cup?
I’ve been nice to customers who were nice to me, because sometimes working in retail effing sucks, and I just liked seeing a friendly face.
If that person randomly said, “I don’t want you sexually.” or some equivalent, I would be pretty annoyed.
Bro you didn’t do anything. You didn’t lead him on at all.. just take it as a compliment. I get called queer bait all the time by gay men and trans women. Not fully sure what it means, but I live in a super LGBT friendly area. I just take it as a compliment. Just because I work on my body, and look a certain way, doesn’t mean I go that way.
NTA
And I would report his new behavior to management as a loyal and paying customer, it is not your fault that he started having fantasies about you, and his mistreatment of you because the reality is different is borderline sexual harassment. It is not your fault that you are straight and he assumed otherwise because he is a polite stranger and doesn’t actually know you.
PS fuck sally I hope she spills her burnt coffee
This can’t be real? No one is acting even remotely human.
Both the barista and your colleague Sally seem to have the whole scenario already set in their minds. At no point did the barista express any of his thoughts to you and at no point did Sally need to be involved. You bear no responsibility whatsoever. Barista boy should not expect people to be mind readers and Sally should stay in her lane.
NTA- there’s honestly so many reasons someone could get special treatment that aren’t even sexual. It could be pretty person privilege. It could be you’re a regular and he cares about repeat business. Ffs I’ve seen people get special treatment from service employees because they liked the same sports team. Also it’s super awkward to go up to the barista who’s never actually flirted with you directly to declare your straightness at him. If he asked you out or something yeah that’s a good opportunity. But you don’t owe him an explanation because he was semi obviously pining for you.
Maybe go to a different coffee shop for awhile?
NTA
Everyone is allowed the fantasy of the cute big or girl who walks in.
Sometimes people do nice things for someone they like – but because they want to go out with them. Sally is a jealous AH that should have minded her business.
Maybe try another coffee shop since it’s so awkward.
Sally embarrassed that guy for no reason. If he wanted to make a move, he could have and would have. Some people are just nice. Maybe he could sense that you were a cool dude and wanted to help you out, while he didn’t give perks to Sally because she’s actually the asshole. 🤷♀️
NTA. And I think you might be able to clarify the situation by saying, “hey, I am straight, but I had nothing to do with my coworker speaking with you and I do apologize if she said anything out-of-hand or to make you think I didn’t genuinely enjoy our interactions.”
She could have told him in a way that implied that you were trying to get him to stop, or were leading him on, or misrepresented the situation in a million other ways
NTA. : you should tell him as a straight male, for even a gay male to think of him as cute/attractive is actually nice since most straight males, we’re not used to too much attention. So it’s nice for someone to think it’s attractive even if we’re not interested. Then tell him if you were gay, it would be different. But why treat you rude now when you never led him on or were trying to do anything to trick him?
NTA. Sally sucks.
It sounds like you’re experiencing the phenomenon of “men are nice to people they want to have sex with”. And as soon as he realized he’s not getting that, he pivoted to “men don’t see value in others they can’t have sex with” and started treating you like he treats everyone else he can’t or won’t have sex with.
I can’t say YTA, and I don’t know that I think it’s Sally’s place to say something, but if the guy asked, and she gave an honest answer, then I don’t think she did anything wrong.
Perhaps examine this from the angle of we’re all either on the giving or receiving end at some point in our lives of this dynamic, and maybe instead of just being nice to people we want to have sex with, let’s recognize that people are human and just be nice to them for those reasons.
He literally told her that he didn’t want to upset his fantasy. He knew there was a possibility that you weren’t gonna be into him, be it your sexuality or your marital status or any other reason. Sally went out of her way to tell him.
Based on his new attitude it’s possible she even told him you were being malicious in some way. You may want to clear the air with him just so you can know there’s no Sally-based miscommunication going on.
NTA (barista isn’t either, just Sally)
NTA. You said there was no blatant flirting or any real opening for that conversation. I’ve gotten special treatment from a barista before just for being a regular and a nice customer. It would have been weird to have someone do something nice for you and you to be like, “hey, I’m not into you.”
I just wanna say: now you know how a lot of straight men make women feel. We’re just existing, yall do something nice for us that we never asked for, then you get mad and make our days worse when we don’t give you whatever you wanted for being nice to us. It’s annoying at best, dangerous at worst.
NTA but definitely gained some perspective whether you meant to or not lol
Oh whatever. It’s harmless. He enjoys your visits and is showing appreciation. Just take the nice moment and flattery.
If he ever does escalate it and ask you out, let him know you’re straight then, and be cool.
I also give off whatever vibe that causes gay guys to have harmless crushes on me. I take it as a good sign that I’m not turning into a goblin into my 40s.
Unless he directly asks, I don’t see a need to say it. It’s not like attractive people haven’t been getting perks for years if someone finds them cute.
Now if he asks and you lie, then you’re an asshole. But otherwise I don’t think it’s a problem
No. Unless he vocalized interest, it’s weird to just drop your sexuality. Your sexuality is no one’s business but yours and your potential partners
If I was the coffee shop owner, I would fire the barista. He used company resources for romantic purposes and is now retaliating against you.
You ought to have mentioned that you weren’t interested but that’s not really your problem. The barista’s behavior is out of line.
Yeah,that’s a tough one because really when I saw the first part of your explanation I’m thinking welll he is a regular and probably tips and baristas are supposed to build relationships to some degree. Now, I am thinking lesson learned for this guy. If he is interested in someone seems like step 1 is to find out if the person is gay. He was breaking all kinds of store rules to give you the upgraded service, and doing the same thing for the poor service. If he doesn’t cool down, ask if you can have a moment to talk to him and just apologize for any miscommunication.
The guy had a crush on you and you led him on. Now he’s embarrassed and hurt
Context matters
If you knew ahead of time that he had feelings and you didn’t even try to let him down because of exciting coffee benefits surely worth a couple dollars, then YTA
If you didn’t know, then how can you be at fault? NTA
NTA. While I can understand the idea of not trying to take advantage but if you made just a random comment about your sexuality then that could get you a harrassment complaint. Your co-worker sounds like she was just jealous she didn’t get any special treatment. He may not even be mad about you and more mad about her confronting him and doesn’t want to deal with you now to avoid trouble
NTA but Sally is for outing you as straight and poking her nose in your business. Let me be clear You Did Nothing Wrong. If the barista was a woman who was kind to you would you be questioning this? Just existing doesn’t make you an asshole accepting the freebies makes you human and gracious
NTA. Sally is a weird peeping-tom into other people’s business.
Not your job to correct a stranger on their assumptions.
NTA , so the chick was jealous about your coffee perks , and decided to ruin it . That’s kinda of funny 😁
On what fucking planet do you need to announce your sexuality to some stranger getting your coffee? Your coworker and that barista are absolute morons. NTA.
> If anything, I think it was kind of unfair of her to drop the truth so bluntly when he clearly wasn’t ready to hear it.
let’s not act like you’re not upset because you’re no longer getting free shit lol.
NTA. I would have assumed it was because you were a regular who tips.
He probably thinks you sent your coworker to tell him your straight for you lmao
NTA what good does telling him do anyone. Doesn’t sound like he was going to push the crush farther.
All Sally did was potentially embarrass the guy and ruin a fun little crush
I don’t think you were wrong. Like someone said, it would be weird to say I am straight if he didn’t come out and hit on you.
Way the cons and pros 🤷♂️ are all the extras worth a quick blowjob every once in awhile – it’s not gay if you don’t swallow
NTA – Sally was upset that she doesn’t get similar treatment in her life and decided to ensure you didn’t as well.. She is TAH.
Sally was jealous
NTA. These little service “flirtationships” are gay culture imo as a gay that has worked retail and barista crushes specifically are a thing 🤣
Frankly, it sounds to me like Sally told dude she thinks he should be offended by your behavior or something, I’ve heard of a lot of barista crushes, but never one that turned sour after ~the reveal~ without some drama
NTA
He has a job to do – and being passive agressive with a customer who is not clarifying that they are straight when you should be working and not flirting, directly or not, is not professional or respectful. You did not owe him any sort of response, and he certainly should not have abused his work to try and do something like what he was doing.
Sounds like Sally was jealous that she doesn’t get the Pretty Perks
You’re better than me! Id go back in and tell the barista, “I’m not sure what she told you, but thanks for making me feel special, sorry she killed the fantasy. ” then wait and see who’s coffee gets jacked up!
Sounds like she went nuclear, what happened if he wasn’t gay, just friendly?
And she probably barged up there breathing fire and brimstone, hauling her little soapbox. Clad in her self righteous indignation, armed with the sword of perpetual misery and the shield of the drama queen to slay the dragon of happiness and good vibes for the sake of equality.
Making a huge scene and embarrassing him to death in front of everyone. ( It’s doesn’t matter, gay or not it’s just humiliating.) Yeah NTA…
NTA, your coworker is definitely a jealous POS though lol
People can fancy who they want. It’s not your responsibility.
If anything, he should be reported for acting unprofessionally.
NTA. But Sally is. The barista even admitted to her it was a fantasy; he was just having fun, and no one was hurt by this. It was really none of her business.
I’ve dealt with this my entire life.
I’m a dude that has been lucky to have had time with many beautiful women. I’m a retired wanna be could have been athlete. Completely straight.
Gay men either out…or worse hidden cause more commotion than any other group.
This is a you situation boys…being angry or acting out changes nothing. You still have to find your own happiness.
Best of luck with that. We’re not against you.
Stop being so emotional man. It’s not helping.
NTA. Your coworker Sally was not only the biggest AH, but she also probably didn’t just tell the barista you’re straight, but something of the likes of you taking advantage of him or who knows what else. That would explain his mean reaction.
Your friend is a dick….
Nta….
Randomly, yes, it would be awkward. But after he asked Sally about you, it definitely would have been ok, polite even, to say something to him directly. I’m sure Sally told him how you were using his crush to get free drinks and that is the part that makes you TA. If you thought the guy was just friendly, then no one’s at fault, but you knew and, despite not actively flirting, you were taking advantage even after presented with a perfect opportunity to clear the air and tell the truth. Firm YTA here.
I’m sure if you had come to him after he spoke to Sally and said “Hey, my friend told me you asked about me the other day. I’m totally flattered, and I think your cool, but I’m straight.” He wouldn’t be treating you harshly right now. He might even have still given you some perks.
NTA. 6 months he never asked you out. He never asked your sexuality.
He also said this is his fantasy. So that’s what it is. If you are comfortable being his fantasy then that’s fine. You enjoy the perks he enjoys being nice to you.
No harm No foul
Your coworker is a nosey bitch!
Sally is cooked.
I think it’s a pretty harmless situation.
Barista has a regular work crush. Makes their day better. A win.
You get your coffee. Makes your day better. A win.
It’s not that serious.
NTA for just accepting perks that someone decided all on their own to give to you. But, after the barista actually approached your coworker & expressed that they were into you, your coworker was not TA for letting him know that his feelings would never be returned by you bc you’re straight. The barista is being an AH by now treating you poorly.
“Sally” is a jealous POS. You’re not the Ahole
She seems jealous and that’s never pretty.
He made assumptions and was loving his fantasy. She stuck her nose in something that had nothing to do with her. I sure hope she, as a woman, has never let a man buy her a drink when she didn’t like him. Women get “benefits” from men all the time in similar situations. I’d guess she is quite the hypocrite.
NTA – There was no real way for you delicately confront the situation, unless you took him aside, thanked him for the perks, but if they are meant to be flirting, he should know …
If the barista went to Sally months ago and he said to her “never mind, don’t ruin the fantasy” he KNEW it was a gamble. Sally ALSO could have handled the situation delicately – seeing as she was so damn invested. She could have let him down easy while telling him the truth.
NTA
When I was a barista we had the regular crowd and we would always make sure their drinks came up first regardless if we thought they were cute or not. If they came in every day they got put to the front of the line because that’s how you retain customers.
This barista kind of sounds like a prick.
Your friend is also kind of a bitch.
NTA. You did nothing wrong. I’d reduce or stop tipping him and start looking for another her coffee shop.
But it’s fine when women lead dudes on? I say get what you can. Lead them on.
This guy sounds gay.
Yeah, YTA. There were any number of ways you could have handled this with tact. You didn’t. You played into it, and are now acting shocked that your previous behavior has come back to bite you in the proverbial ass.
Sally was right. Suck it up, Mary. You have some growing up to do.
Sally is not your friend and has no business disclosing your sexuality to anyone. Report her to HR.
YTA for enjoying the benefits and leading the guy on. There are easy ways to communicate that you’re straight without coming out and saying it.
The only question I have on this is- bro is working every single time you go? There is no other barista that works in this shop? 😂