I recently found out that my girlfriend has been flirting with another guy she recently met through texts. At first she said she wasn’t and I was thinking too hard about it when I don’t think I wasn’t. I wasn’t angry that a guy was flirting with her, I was angry that she kept it going and didn’t stop. I asked her to simply set the record straight with the guy and tell him she wasn’t interested. She did, but it happened again and now she says she was flirting, but she wouldn’t have done anything. That’s not okay in my book. Should I just accept that she flirts and trust she won’t do anything or just break it off because it will seemingly keep happening and possibly get worse?
AITAH For not wanting my girlfriend to flirt with other people?
r/AITAH
Comments
It sounds to me like a reasonable request for her to stop flirting with someone when she’s in a relationship with you- and you’ve told her how you feel about it. It’s weird that she keeps doing it.
NTA. The flirting is disrespectful enough but the lying and trying to make you feel crazy is the real issue here. She knew it was wrong, thats why she hid it.
This is emotional cheating and a lack of respect. And she’s disregarding your feelings and continuing to do This may not be the one for you.
I’d break it off because it’s likely to continue.
the “she wouldn’t have done anything” excuse is the real problem here. It means she knows its wrong but is trying to justify getting attention from other guys. she lied until she couldnt anymore. that’s a huge lack of respect.
NTA she is disrespecting you. Break it off and then when she asks why, tell her exactly what you think of the disrespect
Why don’t you start flirting with other people and see if she thinks it is okay, Remember you won’t actually do anything other than just flirt see if she thinks it’s acceptable
Flirting is cheating. I had 1 girl years ago that did that once and I ghosted her immediately. If she wants other people, let her have them. Why guys will argue about it with them is beyond stupid.
NTA.
Wanna act single, be single.
I think you should ask your GF why she feels the ‘need’ to flirt with other people. It will probably open up a conversation that you both desperately need to have. I’m not saying she is in the ‘right’ with this, not by any stretch of the imagination, but the conversation with her needs to be much deeper than, “please don’t do this because it makes me uncomfortable.”
Grow a pair bro.
The thing is, some partners will “allow” a little flirtation because sometimes people are naturally flirtatious people.
However, as soon as you set your boundary, the boundary has been set, and if that boundary is broken, you have every right to feel a little pissed off about it.
NTA
NTA – if you don’t walk away from this relationship she’s just going to continue to disrespect you.
holy cuck😭
Flirting is entertaining and encouraging sexual/intimate attention from others. It’s cheating unless you two agree it isn’t, beforehand.
Her lies about not cheating/flirting just showed you she’s willing to hide the first steps in fucking around.
NTA
YTA for still calling the town bicycle your girlfriend. Respect yourself enough to move on, and find somebody who doesn’t cheat.
Why wouldn’t you break up with her? Makes no sense. Is that the type of woman you want as your wife? She doesn’t respect you. Don’t be a chump.
Just drop her and move on man. Have some self respect if you want any respect at all
Do you get mad at the dog shit that your dog laid in and rubbed all over itself before coming into the house?
You get pissed at the dog and teach the dog not to do that behavior.
You warned her once. If you accept it now, you condone it. For me, the fact that you have to explain this to her is enough of a red flag to turn and walk away
NTA.
She clearly has no respect for you or your relationship.
You should dump her.
I enjoy your girlfriend flirting with me.
There is a clear definition for this behavior, it has 3 letters and starts with H.
Dude, she is an attention seeker and probably is in the market looking for your replacement.
Grow a pair and tell her to F off.
If you think she’s not already cheating on you, think again.
Tell her that you have a boundry, and if she chooses to ignore it, then leave. She’s gotten away with it with other guys in the past, but you need to be different. If you cave, she will not respect you. If you stick to it and she chooses to ignore it, then the relationship is done, and she can go back to the streets.
You are wayyyy too trusting. “Should I just accept that she flirts”. You realize how powerless you sound brother? Stop cucking yourself out, You set a boundary and she crossed it and of apologizing she doubled down. Cut the whole relationship off and keep your dignity. The moment you set a boundary with someone and they continue to cross it that means they value whatever they keep doing that crosses your boundary over you.
There’s a reason that conspiracy to commit a crime is a crime. Time to bail.
Flirt with her sister or mom. Very obvious and nasty. Then break up with her as she doesn’t respect you.
You need to let her go and find someone who will respect you. She knows exactly what she’s doing is wrong and she doesn’t care.
Flirt = If you kiss her.. You and him are probably going to be related by genetics.
Yeah I’d dip if I were you man, NTA
NTA
This is completely unacceptable and I imagine she would not want you flirting with some other girl. She is demonstrating that she is for the streets and unworthy of commitment with this behavior. Make it very clear to her that you won’t take her seriously if she’s still going to entertain other dudes.
A pathological need for validation from other people while in a relationship is a huge red flag.
Why are you even asking lol, thats a deal breaker right there
YANTA, but also you’re dating…not married. If it’s a red flag to you, it’s okay to say that and then consider moving on.
She’s gonna cheat. My ex was exactly like this. Gaslighting me also as if I’m the controlling jealous bf all the while she was flirting with guys all the time. Run man run it’s only gonna get worse for you trust me.
NTA. You set a clear boundary amd she crossed it twice. If she keeps flirtin after being asked not to, it’s a sign of disrespect. You’re not wrong for considering ending it.
People who seek validation like that outside of a relationship are usually not that great of partners. A little innocent, playful banter isn’t an big deal, by actively flirting is crossing a line.
Sounds like she’s hedging her bets. She wants to have someone else waiting in the wings if things don’t work out with you.
NTA – Dump & move on. Only move here.
Dude..she doesn’t respect you..that’s the real issue here. Sounds like y’all may be young maybe she just isn’t in the headspace for a committed relationship? It’s your choice of you wanna accept this or not.
Break it off.
She is doing at least one of the following:
Flirting with an actual intention to hook up and cheat
Flirting to see who else is out there
Flirting but just leading people on with no intentions to hook up
Flirting to get validation from men because of low self-esteem, suggesting that she needs therapy before being in a relationship
Flirting and doesn’t mind lying to you and disrespecting your relationship
Any of these reasons is problematic.
Bro this is a huge red flag. Maybe she won’t do anything, but the lack of respect or boundaries is wildly disrespectful to you and your relationship.
If you accept this who’s to say down the road she won’t go further cause now she’ll know you don’t respect yourself.
Move on and find someone that shows your respect that you deserve.
NTA.
She’s emotionally cheating on you and has already lied to you multiple times.
This often leads to physical cheating. So you now have to ask yourself whether you want to continue this relationship?
If she can’t respect you and your relationship, then the only solution is to break up with her.
Flirting is cheating, but it’s much worse that she lied about it. That means she knew it was cheating. Get out.
Bro just break up. She ain’t the one.
If she would flirt she would meet. If she would meet she would.
Red Flag. Enough said
Dude you set a boundary and told her you were not ok with it and she still decided to continue on. You did the right thing to leave. NTA
Well she lied to you once already, changed her stories. Of course she’ll do something when she gets an opportunity. Time to go. Lying is the first sign of cheating.
You can accept the fact that she flirts and still break it off. This is the only solution.
Pro tip: if you have to tell your girlfriend not to flirt with another guy, then she’s not the girl for you.
You need to realize that certain boundaries should be automatic, and no one needs to discuss them. If a discussion is needed, then your values are simply incompatible in those areas.
Also, she is trickle-truthing in you. That’s when someone lies about something and then when they get caught, they admit to as little as possible. And then, when that lie gets detected, they admit to a little bit more.
When someone does this, they are usually lying about the whole thing.
I didn’t sleep with my ex.
Your sister my car, parked in his driveway, but that’s just because my ex needed a ride home.
Your sister saw the car there the next morning, because I fell asleep. But nothing happened.
Not the best examples, but hopefully you get the idea.
Your girlfriend is an asshole for flirting with other people while in a relationship with you
Nts, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you were okay sitting in the cuck chair.
Seems as if the “girlfriend” enjoys any attention she can get and flirting only enhances this for her. She does not sound mentally mature enough to be in a steady relationship as she seems to be seeking outside validation Is this what you would want as a boyfriend!
Respect yourself and know you deserve someone less superficial
She met through texts? You mean she gave him her number right?
People are protective of what they value and what they want to keep. When you find someone who values what you have with them you won’t have to ask them to prioritize your relationship over the frivolous validation they may receive from others: they won’t seek it or accept it when it’s offered.
Even if she actually wouldn’t go further, i wouldn’t keep her, for the sake of the peace of mind. Wouldn’t want to keep wondering forever.
NTA. That’s a common boundary.
YTA. Grow some sack and break up with her.
Once you graduate high school, you’ll look back at this and laugh
you just haven’t caught her yet
My guy, you are more invested in this relationship than she is. If your partner is seeking attention and affection elsewhere, move on – you deserve better. NTA
NTA, btw thats now ur GF the second she gets a chance.
Nta. Sorry if youre gonna flirt your gonna eventually go too far. Dump her.
you can trust me, she’ll eventually cross the line. Run my boy, run.
Look OP here’s the thing. You cannot control other people. Some see flirting as harmless. Some see it as a prelude to cheating and some people like me just see it as cheating. What you need to do is recognize how you see it and realize you and your partner are not compatible.
You know she lies and dips her toes (at minimum) in the cheating water so instead of trying to change her behavior and get upset recognize her for what she is and understand it’s over.
She needs to find someone who’s ok with her flirting. There are cucks who would love a girl like that. You OP are not ok with it so instead of resign yourself to a lifetime of checking her phone and wondering who she was with just end it.
Most people don’t set out to cheat, but they end up cheating anyways. Most people that got cheated on, trusted their partner.
The fact she flirted and said she wouldn’t do anything means she excused the flirting that it was harmless. That’s not worse then cheating obviously but it adds another layer of POS behavior.
Either way tho, your boundaries are yours, she follows or she don’t, if she doesn’t, time to move on. We don’t have the like whatever boundaries you put, she doesn’t either, technically, but still would have to follow if she wants the relationship going.
Also, you just don’t flirt if you sent available. If you don’t have an understanding with your partner you both can flirt but keep it at that. Flirting is literally the first step you take to get closer to someone, and to see if they share your views on what kind of relationship it can evolve to.
Grow a pair and leave
You know who “wouldn’t have done anything”? Someone not flirting with other people while in a relationship.
Break up dude people like this arent relationship material and she knows exactly what shes doing
Don’t be stupid or gullible please. Leave
NTA – flirting can eventually lead to action … you have every reason to be cautious and expect her to be respectful towards your relationship.
Flirting, to me, is signaling you are unattached and available. Flirting back is saying the same and that you are interested in more.
NTA
The fact you have to ask is concerning. Your gf is flirting. You don’t like it. She obviously doesn’t respect that you don’t like it. Why. Would. You. Stay?! This is a textbook red flag 🧐
Obviously she needs more attention/validation from the male audience besides you. If someone comes in and sweeps her off her feet with this “flirting” you can kiss your relationship goodbye anyways. She’s TA. You’re just a doormat. Stop being a doormat. Get rid of her!
NTA and leave. She doesn’t value you and you may have self esteem issues for even wondering what to do
Not good. This doesn’t just stop. It keeps going further. She likes the feeling of attention, and will do whatever to keep that feeling going. Even if she stops contact with him, there will be a next. How did he get her number?
Flirting casually with people in real life is harmless, and makes a woman feel good about herself. It also could be called “charm”. But an ongoing one on one private text relationship is something else and could in some limited scenarios even be dangerously teasing a man who expects the conversation to be leading somewhere. Its a bad idea.
Bwahahaha… I think you know what to do bro
How do you “meet someone through texts”?
Break it off and run. You know damn well that you will always have doubts/suspiciousions about her. That’s no way to live, it will haunt you forever if you stay with her.
So she cheated, and tried to hide it. Then made the excuse she wouldn’t have acted on it. Stop trying to be so mature and accepting to someone that doesn’t respect you. There can’t be a healthy relationship when one partner doesn’t respect the other. You should have been angry. Healthy boundaries and reactions are good in a relationship. What else is she lying or hiding from you? It’s only healthy to dump and leave cheaters.
Flirting is exclusively an expression of sexual or romantic interest. She has already cheated on you by flirting. NTA
What you should do is walk away for good. It’s obvious she doesn’t respect you and she’s shown you what kind of person she really is, TWICE. Have enough respect for yourself to dump her before she does worse, if she hasn’t already.
She just not that into you. She wants/needs validation from people outside the relationship, … or she is shopping for your replacement . Either way she’s not LTR potential. She just moved herself from the GF group to the FWB group. You should be developing your exit plan, then, auditions for her replacement.
Sadly you aren’t her boyfriend in her mind you’re just a place holder till she finds the guy she actually wants. She has zero respect for you, your feelings, wants and desires.
Do yourself a favour and get your head in the right place for when she tries to blindside you with the breakup or you find out flirting isn’t all she’s been doing.
Probably after the next time she tells you she has stopped texting him, it will just mean she will become better at hiding it all from you. She’s a repeat offender. Another Redditor in this sub suggested some women (like yours, perhaps) like to line up men to expand, or keep, more future options available or open to them. Ask yourself if this is what your lady is doing now, and assume she is not serious about commitment with you.
Ya, she’s being manipulative. If you accept it she will lose respect for you and that makes you less attractive and she will just do whatever she wants until the relationship is over. If you don’t accept it you’re a controlling asshole.
Only way out is tell her that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks its OK to flirt with other guys and if she isn’t interested in being with you in those terms, that’s OK, but then you’re over.
This place blows my mind. Your gf is flirting. The lies about it. Then admits it, but says she wont do anything. Bro your girl is straight up garbage, return her to the streets.
OP, say to her, “You know what? Seeking attention from other guys while dating me is very disrespectful. It shows that you don’t really like me and just look at me as a stepping stone until the next guy comes along. I won’t be anyone’s second choice. Go ahead and flirt as much as you want, you’re now single. Goodbye.”
Then block her.
NTA, ghost if you don’t live together, she does not deserve a breakup, plus she thinks she is single. If you do plan your exit and move on. Use gray rock and one eighty to help emotionally distance yourself.
If she is actively flirting with another man or allowing it to happen. She is actively looking to move on, and the relationship is over the moment she doesn’t shut it down.