Years ago, I was on a reality show. Won’t say which one exactly, but it was one of those “we throw a bunch of experts together and see what happens” type deals. I was cast as a skilled professional in my field,a career I’ve spent over a decade building, with real qualifications, real experience, and real respect in my industry.
Except… that’s not how they portrayed me.
They made me look dumb. Like completely incompetent. They took moments where I was explaining things and chopped them up so I sounded confused or unsure. They framed my logical decisions as reckless. They showed other contestants mocking me behind the scenes which, fine, I can handle… but then the producers leaned into that narrative. Full edit to make me “the try-hard who knows nothing.”
I wasn’t the comic relief. I was the joke.
It was humiliating. After it aired, I lost clients. People started questioning my abilities online. It got to the point where I had to delete my business pages and rebrand entirely. The anxiety I carried for months afterward was unreal, not just from the public backlash, but from how betrayed I felt by the show itself. They promised one thing, and delivered a butchered version of me that hurt both my career and self-worth.
Fast forward to now.
The show recently dropped on a streaming service, and my wife: who I met after all this found it. She thought it was hilarious that I was on it and started watching. At first I was okay with it, figured curiosity’s normal. But then she kept watching. And laughing. Quoting lines. Saying things like, “Babe, you really butchered that job, didn’t you?” and “You were so awkward! It’s cute!”
I told her it wasn’t funny. That the show destroyed how people saw me and made me look like an idiot in the one area I’ve spent my life mastering. I asked her to please not watch it around me or ideally not at all. It just brings everything back.
She rolled her eyes and said, “You’re taking this way too seriously. It’s just a show.” Then hit me with, “If you’re so confident in your skills now, why does it bother you so much?”
It’s not about my confidence. It’s about watching someone I love enjoy a version of me that isn’t real one that nearly broke me.
I told her it’s not about control, it’s about respect. She said I’m being dramatic and “gatekeeping her entertainment.”
So now we’re in a standoff. She’s still watching it, saying I’m overreacting. I’m sleeping in the spare room because every time I hear the theme music, I feel sick.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA. THis is not someone who respects your boundaries.
You should have sued them because they changed a bunch of stuff for views, and it negatively affected your life. I wouldnt have forbade her from watching it but i def would have told her the reason, and you perfered she not as a way to support you.
NTA . Sounds like it was something that deeply hurt you and you communicated that to her clearly. While I understand her curiosity to watch you on tv and it being hard to resist – she’s really not doing it in a sensitive manner at all.
NTA she doesn’t respect you, it doesn’t even sound like she likes you very much
Exactly. You should be respected for your desire. Do not see a humiliating cut show
NTA it sounds painful to watch someone you love delight in your public humiliation. It sounds like good judgment to create some distance here.
Two documentaries have dropped this year, but luckily my partner & I were together during that happened & on the same side all along, so neither of us are watching it or telling anyone about them directly. ABC 20/20 did a hit piece too. Sometimes notoriety has pitfalls.
If she was genuinely just wanting to see some scenes of younger you – without binge watching it with a play-by-play teasing you & calling you over-sensitive? She’s being the asshole. I’ve done too many interviews & I’d rather chew glass than rewatch the tv appearance archive my kids are forbidden to watch until AFTER we die.
NTA. This isn’t about “gatekeeping entertainment” this is about her wanting to watch you be the butt of the joke and she’s not respecting or caring that this is triggering the retraumatization of this show.
She’s a horrible partner. I’d be rethinking this marriage. Where else does her disrespect for you and your feelings show up?
NTA- sorry, my guy, this is probably over.
Your wife is being mean to you. The topic she’s using to make fun of you isn’t important, it’s the fact that she’s enjoying making fun of you. NTA. I’d ask her to go into marriage counseling with you if she can’t understand why it’s wrong to be mean to you.
It’s unpopular but I’m going to say let it go. We all have moments of great shame (perhaps not so publicly) and I am so earnestly saying this but just roll with it. Laugh at it. Be frustrated and tell your wife how they chopped it up. Laugh at yourself! I’m sure you’ve grown. I know it’s hard but readjusting your mindset into one of growth can really make a difference.
I learned to laugh at myself a long time ago and honestly it’s the best thing I have ever done for myself.
NTA
If that happened to my partner I wouldn’t be laughing about it (unless they too were laughing about it), I would be seeing red, especially knowing how much of an impact it had. She should be understanding of how bad it was for you and accept why you don’t want her by just watching it but quoting it and talking about it to you.
NTA. You literally need to divorce this beitch before you waste any more time on her.
You should sue for defamation. Get a lawyer, it’s not too late. You could probably come out with a bunch of money.
NTA. NGL though… your wife sounds freaking awful.
NTA
Your pain should not be her entertainment.
She probably does not understand, but she should. If her most embarrassing moment was on TV and you watched it for laughs, how would she feel?
ngl you sound a bit like a pussy
I really hope there’s an option to sue for defamation or smth cuz wow. That’s horrible. She’s being so casual about such great damage, it’s a lack of respect. NTA
NTA. You feel bad for good reason. YTA to your wife, because she is being insensitive about a sensitive topic.
Youre a stranger on the internet and im furious on your behalf, i cannot imagine being actually married to someone and thinking what was done to you is funny.
Your wife doesnt love or respect you.
NTA
Why does the OPs post not show up on their profile? And why does the writing style sound just like ChatGPT?
I would never ever do or say these things to my husband. wtf. NTA
NTA
I can’t imagine valuing my own entertainment more than my partners need to feel safe from reliving past traumatic experiences. Nor can I imagine finding something that hurt my partner entertaining in the first place.
I’m so sorry OP, you’re learning something very ugly about your partner right now.
NTA.
Show her this Reddit post.
I can relate, actually. I was on a reality show about 20 years ago. I was also butchered in editing. What was worse is that they got the other contestants to re-record parts of conversations they had with me to make it fit the narrative better: the narrative that I’m awful. I had felt like I was friends with these people and that we were all kind of in in together, but then I had to watch not only the shit they said about me to the cameras later, but I also saw them willingly participate in the character assassination against me by faking whole conversations.
It was very embarrassing, but lucky for me it wasn’t a show about my profession, so it was just personal stuff.
YTA for not marrying someone who actually likes you.
Which show is it, so I know to avoid it?
NTA.
Fuck those producers. I hope their show died, that is just horrible.
That’s awful that your wife is making fun of it. She’s being a disrespectful jerk.
Agh, leave her. She doesn’t respect you.
NTA
She could be way kinder and more compassionate about this, especially after how the fallout effected you.
That said: …is your name Quentin?????
YTA you were on the show. Millions of people saw it I assume. Why are you getting your panties in a twist now???
Yeah and I bet the fake host is now president of the United States.
You shouldve sued them. Seriously
NTA, if my husband told me “that show assassinated my character and damn near destroyed my career” I would be outraged on his behalf and they would be the target of my wrath from that moment forward. And I wouldn’t watch it except maaaybe to go “OMG babe, I can’t believe they showed you like that, you’re 100% right this is terrible!”