Me (31M) and my gf (30F) have been dating for 11 months. We had a conversation and decided to we will move in together in January and get engaged later in the year if everything else works out.
I live in the house I bought 3 years ago. Its not big – its a 2 bedroom apartment in the city we live in and I use the second bedroom as a office and it has a queen bed for guests are here. A little over 3 years ago my parents sold some stocks they had since the early 80s and gifted me and my siblings some cash. I used that and my savings for downpayment (the download payment was more than the normal amount(. My siblings saved it/ bought index funds.
My girlfriends says when we get engaged she expects to be on the deed of the house. I disagreed for obvious reasons. I suggested we live elsewhere or buy elsewhere. She said she doesn’t wanna rent when she is married and given her financial situation, she cant contribute much to the downpayment.
I am wondering if AITAH for a) not wanting move in b) move in but propose to her.
I get she wants security but my parents paid for 35% of the house. We are not even married, have kids etc.. and I dont plan to charge her for rent, hoa, insurance, property tax etc.
Am I the asshole?
Comments
Get a prenup.
NTA she can have a renters agreement and pay you rent. Do not put her on the house deed unless she pays you exactly 50% of what you have paid to date
Nta and I would rethink living together if that’s her mindset.
Absolutely not.
She’s just looking at the payout of your house after she divorces you.
There is zero valid reason her name should be added to the title of a home she had no part in purchasing.
NTA
I would suggest a staggered investment. You can get it drawn up that every 5/6/7 idk many years she gets x percentage up to 50 percent. I‘d also put her on the mortgage if shes going to be on the deed. I would not put her on either until you’re married. NAH tentatively unless she doesn’t want something fair.
NTA
What you should do is move the property into a trust. The trust will continue to own the property even after you are married.
There is no need to add somebody to the deed of your house because you get engaged. Half of all marriages and divorce, but I don’t have a statistic on how many engagements never go through at the wedding. So what best do you have a 50-50 chance of making it.
Putting the house in the trust, protect the asset that your parents saved and work to help you purchase
Nta. Yall should do a prenup for premarital assets. Shes already showing signs of being a gold digger.
You aren’t the asshole. She was not with you, nor did she give you any support that enabled you to get that house. She has literally zero to do with that house. It would be a different story if you were married, and her monetary, functional, or emotional support contributed to the house… but that was not the case when you purchased it. Stand your ground. You have only been dating for 11 months, and have never lived together… you don’t know her as well as you might think you do. Watch carefully how she handles this situation. As the old adage goes, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Wrong girl to marry dude, that should be obvious to you as it is to everyone else. Smarten up.
NTA. Why should she get her name on it when she hasn’t contributed anything ?
Well your gf can expect all she wants but it is your house, even after marriage do not add her to the deed.
In fact I would question her intention, if she is so demanding and thinks she is entitled to your pre marital assets what else does she think she is entitled.
Owning your house doesn’t automatically mean sharing the deed before marriage, protecting what’s yours isn’t being an asshole.
Oh, Hell no. I can see the dollar signs in her eyes from here!
That is YOUR pre-marriage property. I am not a lawyer, but I am pretty sure that anything owned before the marriage DOES NOT BECOME shared property.
Get a prenup or end this nonsense.
She’s trying to take you for a mug and steal your house
> My girlfriends says when we get engaged she expects to be on the deed of the house
She better expect to be disappointed. Only 11 months in and that’s what she’s worried about?
Break up. She wants your house!
You’re 11 MONTHS in. She’s been broke for 30 years but 11 MONTHS with you and she’s demanding “security “?
NtA
You can’t afford this. Not in this economy.
Exactly. And her reaction should cause OP to assess the relationship.
NTA. People come into relationships with assets all the time. It’s why there are Pre nups.
For example, in the prenup, you could agree that all of the current equity in the house is yours should you divorce and any future equity buildup is split 50-50 assuming she contributes 50% to the mortgage and all costs.
That is just one of many ways you can handle this, but no, you should not give your girlfriend effectively half of your parents gift to you.
NTA. I would never expect engagement to result in changing property title. That’s crazy. I agree with the prenup recommendations. If she’s already maneuvering herself to be on the deed, that’s a red flag.
It’s actually smarter for even Strong couples to only have one person on the deed.
be firm, the house is yours, not to be shared. several friends thought they were marrying forever, but nope. One friend had to surrender the house to his ex-wife as part of the settlement. His next marriage included a prenup that stated she was not entitled to any stocks and properties he owned before the marriage. That prenup kept him from loosing almost everything.
Nta, not even when you’re married, just engaged? You haven’t even hit the year mark. Meanwhile she doesn’t have the funds to buy her way in. Not wanting to rent without the financial means to buy is just entitlement.
This girl is bad news if she doesn’t let this go.
Get a prenup.
Honestly, I understand the sentiment, but in the event of a divorce, half of your place’s equity goes to your spouse. It feels inherently unfair for someone that hasn’t contributed to the down payment and upkeep. There’s a reason why assets that exist prior to marriage are excluded from communal property settlements.
I think you’re generous about offering to buy another place communally and would suggest that she take her up on your offer. Demanding to be handed half of your abode with no contribution is unreasonable. Marriage is as much a business relationship as a romantic one.
NTA – Absolutely don’t do this while you are dating. Honestly, I wouldn’t even do it if you get married as that’s a pre-marital asset, but once you put her name on the deed/mortgage it no longer would be if there is a divorce. Don’t lose your safety net for someone else.
NTA. You aren’t even engaged and she’s laying claim to your assets? Nope. Counter with the comment that you will of course expect a prenup before marriage.
The house is not a marital asset. You do need to understand that you cannot fairly ask her to pay the mortgage if you do marry, and that you need to understand that she is not building home equity, so she needs to build equity in other ways like retirement savings, etc.
However, it sounds like she doesn’t intend to work? You two need to have financial discussions before talking marriage.
nta
Your house and premarital property. Her asking to be added is a huge red flag actually.
Signed,
Someone who has a premarital property house who’s husband specifically told her he would never want to be put on the deed because its MINE.
NTA. You’ve been together for less than a year. Get the apartment appraised, and tell her that she’ll get half of any increase in the value should you guys split up. You know how much equity you have in your apartment, unless you’re willing to give her half of that, do not put her on the deed.
DO NOT PUT HER ON THE DEED. She’s demanding to be put on the deed at 11 months dating?! The audacity!
If/ when you get married get a prenuptial!
What’s her financial “situation”? If she’s up to her eyeballs in debt or doesn’t have an actual career and make solid money you’re an idiot if you marry her. Full stop.
NTA and do not add her!!!!! Give it a 2 yr engagement before getting married. Gives you both time to see how things work.
You do it before marriage, she walks away with half as soon as she gets pissed off and breaks up.
I don’t think that simoly engagement and cohabitation warrant adding her to the deed. NTA there. Upon marriage, y’all are merging persons and lives. A neutral home is great. Sounds like she has expectations that are beyond the means of the relationship. If she says while married she wants to be a homeowner and she expects you as her husband to provide this, ask yourself if that’s the type of husband that you are.
NTA! Speaking as a lawyer, you would be just plain nuts to give a gf half your house for doing you the honor of moving in with you. For her to demand such a thing at the get go says a lot about her. Believe her. 🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
NTA, she’s already paying rent somewhere.
She didn’t contribute a dime to the house, and you’re not married.
Just throwing it out there that it many states once you are married, a spouse may be entitled to a share of the change in equity during the marriage whether she/he is on the deed or not. So just keeping her off the deed may not protect you as much as you want.
To me, it sounds insane to put someone on the deed upon engagement. Whether what she wants is reasonable to depends on a lot of relationship issues not in the post so i can’t weigh in. But since she’s brought up wanting security if you split, it’s the perfect opportunity to bring up a pre-nup. I’m normally not a fan of them for non-wealthy people, but since you both have concerns about what would happen in the event of a split, it’s makes sense to do it now. You can even frame it as wanting to make sure she’s protected and offer to pay for her lawyer.
Or you could walk away.
Tell her that you expect her to pay the rent and part of the deposit, if she can’t, lower her expectations.
Get a prenup or end it. NTA
I would definitely get a prenup. What you guys came in to your marriage with should stay with you. You can put a clause in there to get her the security that you need but I would definitely not add her to the house. And I got married I didn’t add my husband to the house even after 30 years.
I smell an opportunist. Thats gross that she feels entitled.
Do not add anyone to the deed that didn’t contribute to the purchase or maintenance of the home! Someone doesn’t just get to come along and think that half of your house – should also be hers. I would be reevaluating the relationship because if she thinks that- what else does she believe that you don’t? NTA
Get Prenup. I say this as a woman, do NOT add her. NTA.
I think this isn’t an asshole situation, but more of a “relationship issue” situation. I completely understand both of your sides of things. I personally worked multiple jobs for over a decade just so I could afford to buy my house and my name is the only one on it even though I live with my partner. I personally don’t want them on the deed because I want to take advantage of their “first time home owner” perk once we decide to move again.
I get where your GF is coming from because my partner has also expressed feeling insecure about the housing situation even though we have been together for almost 2x decades. Their specific fear was rooted in not having a home to stay in if I unexpectedly died. They also do not agree that we shouldn’t add them because of a perk that comes later.
Our comprimise was me setting up a trust where my partner gets the house if something happens to me or if we decide to seperate they are also owed on what they put into the house.
I understand you saying that you don’t plan on charging her for anything, but people change and so do circumstances. You have offered her a few options, but it might be a good idea to talk to a financial planner/advisor to get on the same page as your fiance with finances. If she isn’t good with them, it might make her feel more confident about your future together if you both have a stronger understanding of your situations (you might already do, I am just assuming).
I would also see if you can spare some money on a few couples counseling sessions. I say this because I think her argument is rooted in justifiable fear and yours is in justifiable personal reasons. You guys are attempting to communicate your sides of things, but there is a breakdown somewhere and sometimes a third un-biased party can help you make that connection.
Nta. Dont do it. Also reconsider marrying her. Seems like she wants a pay out when she divorces you.
I moved into my husbands home 2 years before we got married. We’ve been married 21 years, I am not on the deed, but if he passes, the house goes to me. If something happens to him, I have power of attorney.
I may be going against the consensus here but I think at the moment you get married then it’s reasonable for her to be on the deed.
When you get married it’s an all or nothing scenario. It’s a lifetime commitment and I think you go all in planning for success. That (for me anyway) means trusting each other completely and meshing finances completely.
Bigger question seems to be – is this particular lady worthy of your trust and someone you want to financially meld with?
No
Obviously the prenup is the right suggestion but the more concerning question Is why does she feel that she has the right to your assets that you’ve obtained before the relationship……
The whole mentality here is so off.
Hell no! She’s asking to take a premarital asset and make it joint immediately. Nope do not do that! Over 50% of marriages end in divorce but of that over 80% are initiated by the woman. Protect yourself in anyway you can the whole time. Worst case you never need those protections!
She’s a leach dump her sorry gold digging ass
No matter how much you love a girl, everyone should always protect one’s self first. You’ll never what’s gonna happen or what kind of person she’s gonna turn out, but protect your property from gold-diggers.
Im dealing with the fallout of this right now as the person who owned the house previously. We wrote up our own cohabitation agreement and signed it, protecting my existing equity and other stuff. I’ve now spent over $10k in legal fees because the agreement wasn’t witnessed or done by lawyers. Get a cohabitation agreement done BY A LAWYER, both of you get your own lawyers to review it, and sign it. Or include it in the prenup.
Ah, the business end of marriage.
I would strongly encourage a prenup that way terms are spelled out,
It protects her as well as yourself.
That way if you do get married and she contributes to the financial relationship, SHE WON”T get screwed by you either.
She expects to be o the deed.
What id half of the asset worth? Don’t accept a loan agreement. Expect the cash transfer
Maybe you could reconsider the whole situation… My alarms for maliciousness just went up… Good luck
OP: I’m a responsible adult. While my parents assisted with the down payment, I am responsible with my funds so that I could buy a house.
GF: I’m broke. Put me on the title to your house so I get half even though I can’t or won’t contribute at all.
GF of 11 months is BOLD.
NTA. I think it’s a red flag that she wants ownership of something you worked hard for and have owned since before you met her.
No name on deed until married and even then still explore the possibility of sole and separate property. It’s going to cause some heartburn for your fiancé but it’s best you discuss this now and decide where you all are in regard to family finance. Only the two of you can decide on how you will handle your money and that should be one of the many things you decide on before marriage.
do not EVER get her on the deed before getting a prenup and get married.
No is a complete sentence in this situation! Also, run from her ass.
Get a prenup, your property prior to marriage is yours.
She should be grateful you’re not charging her
Not the asshole you’ve owned the house for three years. You’ve paid everything for it. She does not go on the deed now if you guys get married in five or 10 years down the road you wanna put her on it that’s one thing you haven’t even been together for a year and then she’s already demanding that you give her half your house
nta and get a prenup, better yet run for the hills she sounds like a money vulture if she wants to be on the deed as soon as you get engaged
NTA. This is not a reasonable request unless she is already planning to ask for half of it in a divorce later. I agree you need a prenup.
I would be questioning how and why she is so comfortable asking such a thing when she has not yet contributed anything. Though it would be unfair to expectbher to pay half the mortgage or something when there is no equity in it for her. I’m sure there is some fair arrangement you can come to but do not do what she is asking.
That house financed .. 35% by your parents .. 65% by you .. and now the gf wants to have her name attached without financial input??
No.. find a way to keep it seperate, prenup, trust .. but sign over half ownership even before you get married??
I have heard of building up share in a house during marriage. Maybe that is an idea.. they had a 5%per year until 50% i believe (with clause of infidelity penalties and such)
NTA. She is taking you for a ride man. Don’t let her move in.
No but you will BTAH if it doesn’t happen after marriage. You both should also evaluate beneficiaries on any and all assets and accounts and make sure each spouse is protected.
ESH – so the options are she wants to be added to the deed or you want her to pay rent?? Both of these are terrible. You’re getting MARRIED. Why not compromise and she gets to live with you, her husband, without paying rent and you don’t add her to the deed? Either way, in the event of a divorce, your shared home would be considered marital property and she would have rights to it as well. Also, you need to have a bigger talk about how you plan to share finances, and your lives in general, once you’re married.
Don’t move in together before getting married, get a prenup or don’t cause once you’re married what does it matter
Not at all. That’s awfully bold of her. You haven’t been dating long enough for that
You can get a prenup and after that add her to the deed.
NTA
I would not put her on the deed. If you’re going to continue to pay for everything and she’s not, there’s no reason for her to be on the deed. She’s not contributing anything to the ownership of the home.
Also, that will allow her to save a tremendous amount of money, if anything, you should be asking for half of what she saves.She’s getting a hell of a deal and she quit her bitching.
Yeah.. I get wanting equity. It’s important for women to have that in their marriage.
BUT, it’s equity based on WHAT YOU BUILT TOGETHER. Not what you had previously.
I would not advise marry this woman.
She’s looking for YOUR assets.
NTA
NTA-her request is unreasonable, don’t agree to it. This is a huge red flag by the way. If she was planning to help with the mortgage and other expenses and you were married then it might make sense. But that’s not happening.
Obviously I don’t know her but this screams gold digger. This request does not make sense from any angle. She suddenly wants to own half of a property she didn’t buy and to which she will not contribute.
Please proceed with great caution.
NTA. Nobody whether male or female, should put their partner on their mortgage or house deed prior to marriage or ever. This is premarital property the fact that she wants you to put her on it before you’re even married is utterly insane. I would tell her you want to be on it you need to hand me over x amount of dollars which he told you she can’t so, the answer is no. Just tell her it’s not happening. Also tell her she would still have to pay rent if she was living someplace. Obviously I’m sure you’re going to give her a break and you can always write up a form of lease in case you two break up, I can even put in a clause in the event of a breakup the lessee can move out immediately and not pay the remainder on the lease. If they choose to stay for the duration of the lease and they still have to pay rent.
She’s looking for a quick buck and how to get a house really quick.
NTA
She should never be on the deed unless she is contributing financially. And if she IS contributing financially, a legal agreement should be drawn up about how the equity would be split in the event of a divorce. This is how gold diggers operate. They get their claws into assets they have no rights to and take them with them when they leave. Get a prenuptial agreement and keep the deed in your name. How she handles that will tell you everything you need to know about whether this woman is really someone you want to marry, or not.
Nope nope nope
Do not add her to ANY deed until you’re married and have a prenup in place!!!
NTA, prenup or absolutely not. That is a good way to give away a lot of equity. Protect yourself.
DONT DO IT. As kindly as possible, you’ve not even been together a year. Access to your literal property without being married, and when she “expects” to be on the deed, is all major concern and red flags 🚩
Prenup. If she doesn’t agree then let her walk
Run brother
I generally object to unmarried people owning property together. Also she’s contributed nothing to the mortgage, and the property was purchased before you even knew her. Putting anyone on your deed who just tells you that she EXPECTS to be on it, is a BAAAAAAD idea. Your talking about getting engaged and THAT’S the main concern she has??? That’s a bad sign. She sounds like a golddigger.
She is acting like you two are married. You two are ENGAGED. A lot can happen between the two.
If I was you I would pursue a prenup and NOT put her on the deed. A red flag that she cares THIS MUCH about it and you two are not even wed yet.
My fiancé and I have lived together for 8 years in my house. He won’t be added to the deed unless I sell and we buy one together. He wouldn’t even ask because he doesn’t want to be with me because of money or property. She’s displaying gold digging behavior. I would question this relationship progressing any further. Best of luck to you.
NTA – I had a girlfriend talk me into buying a house. 3 years later, I was trying to figure out how to get her out of it. Her name was not on anything, but I couldn’t even legally kick her out without an eviction notice, etc. She definitely liked me because I could take care of her. As for your fiance. I think it’s weird for her to ask to be put on the house before marriage. What’s the hurry? Does she have a decent career? I think it’s awesome if someone wants to have kids and be a stay at home mom, but that should be known up front. Not everyone thinks that way and expects their wife to work and help out with bills. The main thing is, why does she want to be on the deed do badly before you’re even married? I would be careful.
Suggest a Pre-nup if she declines then she has a plan to milk you dry if things don’t go her way in the future.
What she wants is a free house. Nta
NTA
She’s already thinking about her piece of the pie when you break up. Not if but when. Be willing to die on this hill. Don’t put her name on anything.
NTA don’t add her even after marriage
NTA. Your GF’s demand should make you uncomfortable. Frankly, with the high rate of divorce, it would be foolish for you to basically give away your secure home. This home has been acquired prior to your getting together — she has no stake in what it took to get it. For her, at this point, insisting on gifting it to her by adding her name to the deed raises serious red flags to me. Beware.
For her to demand this during the engagement is especially troubling. Sorry, think you have hooked a gold-digger.
Nope. Your home is not your wedding gift to her.
Your parents gifted you the funds to provide you with long term financial security. She shares the benefit as long as she stays with you. She doesn’t need to be on the deed unless she’s already planning her exit.
You need to give her a firm clear unambiguous non negotiable no. Her response to that will tell you whether you should marry her. Because if free rent is not good enough it’s not you she wants, it’s your stuff.
WOW! Could it not be more obvious-Gold Digger ALERT!
Slow down.
>I get she wants security but my parents paid for 35% of the house.
Security for what? NTA.
NTA It sounds like she’s gearing up to take half. I can see the red flag already. Plus you guys haven’t been dating that long that’s two red flags.
Nta but your gf is someone who thinks about what you can do for her. Like adding her to your house deed. Instead of I love this man so much she is already angling to take half your shit. DO NOT marry her without a prenup and DO NOT add her to the house. Honestly just DON’T marry her and toss this one back to the streets let another dude lose half his shit instead.
You can have a rent to own contract written up for her where she pays most or all of the monthly mortgage payment and when the total amount that she has spent equals the total amount you have spent then you will add her to both the deed and refinance to add her to the mortgage. NTA.
Prenup, how she handles the Prenup will tell you everything you need to know about how this relationship will go on or not.
I’m betting she is asset poor, and career poor and sees an opportunity to get assist rich from this relationship with absolutely no risk to her.
Not a good start to a future.
He wants something for nothing, she wants something for nothing. It seems the problem goes both ways.
Don’t get engaged at this point. Sounds like you two have not had the pre-marriage commitment discussions such as talking about finances, where to live, plans for having a family, expectations for one another, etc. Those discussions need to happen first. You may find you two are actually not ready to get engaged and need to work on some things before taking that step.
NTA, never join assets without being married, that gets messy and fast. If she raises a big enough stink about it I would personally view that as a huge red flag. Once married that is different. Shouldn’t co-sign, make any huge purchases together or anything like that until after “I do”.
NTA. Rent your house out and buy a new one together. That way if you end up divorced you always have a home. It would be unfair to you to just give her half of house YOU OWN that YOU have equity in. Get a prenup.
Maybe don’t talk proposing and marriage 11 months in with a gold digger?
Do not put her name on the deed at least until after you’re married (and possibly not even then; your house is a pre-marital asset). If the engagement falls thru you’ll have no fiance who owns half your house. Other posters are right; get a prenup. If she’s opposed to that at least she’s showing her cards before you’re married. NTA
Opa. Nta. She’s getting rent free? Sign me up, I’ll sign whatever. She’s taking a lot of advantages with this situation. I’d end it here. She gonna take you for a riiiide
I offered my husband a prenuptial because he put the whole down-payment but because we are a team he said it wasn’t necessary. I personally wouldn’t live in a house with my life partner if I wasn’t on the deed because I spent a lot of time and money making it a home and that counts.
You’ve only been dating 11 months and she wants your house already? Alarm bells are ringing. Engagement and marriage should be about love, not what you’re going to gain monetarily. NTA.
You can’t want to get married and simultaneously not want her on the house. If you want one, you want the other.
Don’t get engaged if you don’t actually see her as a spouse. It’s been eleven months. You’re way too early to be talking about this yet. Stay dating.
Get a prenup. You haven’t even known her that long. She wants to be added to the deed just because you’re engaged. That’s a red flag if there ever was one.
NTA
Don’t do it.
If you stay married it won’t matter. If you marry and break up, it will.
Prenup all the way.
Speaking as someone married 25+ years who owned property before marrying with a husband who could care less whose name is on the deed.
it stays in your name with a prenup. especially if she not going to contribute anything towards it. protect yourself.
Ypu’ve known each other for less than a year and she has no money to contribute to a house but wants you to give her half the equity of the hosue ypu owned before you meet her and before you are married. I wouldn’t do it and insist on a prenup and ealk away when she refuses.
Hell no! Biggest mistake you could make is adding her to the title and therefore making her half owner of the house. Then what if you break up?
NTA. 11 months and she already wants your property, which she can’t afford.
Updateme
You’re engaged, not married. The whole conversation is crazy. I could see her having the conversation once MARRIED. Absolutely, assets like homes should be shared in marriage.
I’m from the shared lives camp, however if you want to sell and buy something together that’s on you as well, just remember the partner you chose may never be able to financially contribute equally.
100% NTA
She’s pressed about getting on the deed ASAP, watch yourself brother.
Nononononono. I wouldn’t even share title after you were married. The best thing would be to rent that place out and move into a new place that you both pay for.
If she is not even contributing anything financially, and you are offering her FREE accomodation, she really does not have the right to ask to be put on the title. It sounds very entitled.
Nta. Maybe consider a transfer on death deed after marriage, but not before. Just being engaged means nothing, engagements can end. She can have it you die and leave her a widow, otherwise there is no reason for her to be on the deed.
If she won’t budge on this, dump her since she is clearly after your money.
Your girlfriend has weird expectations. The house stays in your name and you and your parents paid for it. She uses the house and enjoys it as long as you are together. That fact is not impeded by her being on the title or not. If your relationship does not work out, why would you want her name on the title?
I would not propose to her or have her officially live with me.
Don’t do it. My son was with his fiancé for nine years, engaged for four. After being engaged for a year, they bought my Dad’s house. My dad gifted $60,000 to the purchase (sold it for less than the value and paid their closing cost) to help them into homeownership; they got into the house/mortgage with no money out of their pocket. She stalled on getting married and has since broken up with him. She wants half the value of the current equity, even though $60,000 was a gift from grandpa to grandson. I would suggest you don’t even do it after you get married. Also, you’ve only known her 11 months, it is WAY too soon to commingle funds, especially not a major assets. NTA
This is a major red flag. Why would she even be thinking about being on the deed when you’re not married yet. You’re not even engaged yet she’s already thinking about the deed to your home? Courts overturn prenups all the time. Maybe it’s time to have a long conversation with her about her commitment to you; not your assets; to you personally.
Houses owned before marriage belong to you. You absolutely need a prenup to protect yourself. Also, put it in a trust.
Talk to a lawyer, possibly look into getting a prenup. Also, a prenup is protection for BOTH people if done correctly. My fiancé bought a house before I moved in and got engaged. He is also set to inherit a lot of money in the future from his family. He wants a prenup which I’m fine with, we just cant agree on a few terms on what happens if we were to break up and I’m contributing financially to a mortgage or home repairs. Until that’s figured out, I don’t pay anything towards the mortgage or any home repairs. I am on his will to inherit most of his money and completely get his house if he were to pass and a beneficiary on bank accounts and insurances which I was more concerned about bc he is the main provider and I’d keep and care for his dogs. This works for us right now until we can work out prenup.
NTA – The second you put her name on the deed she will legally own 50% of the house. Should you break up, married or not, she will still own half of the value of the house. What’s worse is that if she doesn’t get put on the mortgage at the same time, she will own half the value of the house while you have sole responsibility for the debt.
I wouldn’t do this until, minimum, you are married. Even then, I wouldn’t do it unless she wants to buy half of the equity you’ve built in the house and assume half of the debt. Otherwise, you hold all of the risk and only half the reward.
NTA, but you would be an absolute moron to give someone you’ve known less than a year ownership of your premarital asset. You’re 31 and obviously haven’t learned the lesson about making decisions with the wrong head.
Not even a year in and she’s already trying to claim ownership over your house.
You’re not engaged you don’t even live together, but this is the first thing she brings up?🚩
It sounds like she wants to make sure she’ll be able to get half your shit if you guys ever break up.
I would say prenup, but I don’t even think you should ask her to marry you if these are the gold-digging vibes she’s giving.
Nta
Don’t do it!!!
Only 1 home.
Lots of girls out there.
You sure Bro?
Big nope, get a pre nup if you decide to actually marry this gold digger.
Do not put her on the deed to the house. Tbh, she sounds like a gold digger. She has no money, but wants all the benefits of yours. She is out in left field with her entitlement. If you want to arrange for her to pay you out half your equity and then she also pays half the mortgage and taxes moving forward THEN she gets to be on the title. Not until.
Eleven months might not be long enough to have discerned this woman’s true character. Proceed with caution.
NTA get a prenup too based on what she is saying. She legally couldn’t touch the property if you get married but she’s being manipulative maybe even stick to your guns and don’t move in with her as there’s plenty of people who don’t act like that. Find someone who dosnt care about meaningless stuff and is more sentimental.
Prenup is best answer. Nothing wrong talking to a lawyer.
NTA. This is your separate property before marriage and should stay that way. Don’t marry her without an ironclad, enforceable prenuptial agreement.
Hahaha. You’d be an asshole to agree to the insanity. If that’s the hill she wants to die on, thank her for exposing herself now. BTW, why in the world are you even discussing this and engagement after dating for less than a year? I think you both need a reality check.
No, she can make other investments to offset the house. Basically your home represents a portion of your inheritance. That are other things you can do but her name does not need to be on the deed. Doesn’t matter if your partner is male or female; those premarital assets should be kept separate. NTA.