Throwaway account so it won’t be traced back. I had my birthday last week and decided to celebrate on Saturday. I just turned 20 (which is legal drinking age in my country) so we decided to go out. It was just me and three other girls so just like a small celebration.
My best and closest friend was there (not a long term friendship). It’s a long distance friendship so she came to celebrate with me. She was definitely the drunkest of us all, and tried to suggest she stopped drinking multiple times during the night. How she usually does for me. After we come to this one bar we all go dance together. Me and another friend went to get a drink and the others stayed. When we came back we see my best friend has met friends she knew and kinda just left my friend alone. This already made me upset.
We went to go back to dance but my best friend didn’t come. Thought nothing of it. Well suddenly there’s a bunch of commotion around us and I realize she’s dancing with some guys. We keep dancing and she dances with them. After like half an hour I just see her and this other guy, and she’s full on making out with him in the middle of the dancefloor. I was stunned and disgusted. Nothing like this has ever happened to me but I really dislike cheating. This kinda destroyed my birthday and I was pretty angry with her.
Well later us other girls went home but she stayed. We were home in 3am, she was closer to 6 am. Next morning she’s saying she just hung out with this guy (she had slept with him before her now boyfriend) and that nothing happened. She never say she didn’t remember but that nothing happened.
I talked to her today and asked her if she even know she kiss this other guy in club and she’s saying since she was so drunk she didn’t remember. I just told her how this made me feel and that I feel she should tell her boyfriend. And she’s saying it’s her choice and that there’s nothing she can do about it now.
So I am thinking I’m not really wanting to be friends with a girl that won’t be honest about her mistakes. I know it’s none of my business, but I can’t in good conscience continue a friendship with a cheater and a liar. That trust is kinda destroyed for me. So I kinda just want to know, am I the asshole for wanting to end this friendship with one of my closest friends because she cheated?
Comments
NTA
“but I can’t in good conscience continue a friendship with a cheater and a liar.”
Good call. NTA
NTA. Birds of a feather kind of thing. Ditch her.
I don’t think you’re wrong for stepping back. You set boundaries for your own peace of mind, and if her actions crossed them, you have every right to protect yourself from people who compromise your values.
NTA
NTA. Good choice to let go of that friendship
OP,
NTA. What I find most offensive is her response when you mentioned that you were not comfortable with her cheating. She betrayed her bf and showed absolutely no remorse for that betrayal. And trust me, if she was with her ex-bf until 6 a.m., they didn’t visit the local library/s.
Leave the trash at the curb.
There’s a timeless saying for this: “You are the company you keep.”
Frankly, not enough people take it seriously and then get dragged down by others in a variety of ways.
Great way to become a better person is to surround yourself with good people and cut out the bad ones.
NTA
Also, if she’s willing to stab her SO in the back, why wouldn’t she stab you?
NTA, If she will lie and cheat on someone that she proclaims to love, what will she do to you or any other “friend”. She’s not someone you want to invest time and energy to.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!
Forget about the circumstances, the issues are honesty and integrity.
NTA. You can’t tell her what to do, but you don’t have to keep her in your life.
We are the people we choose to hang out with.
NTA- You are right to distance yourself.