My boyfriend is finally back from working (a few days at a time) and so he was over at my house. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Or at least what was supposed to be sex. Not too long into it there was a knock on the door and since it’s my place, I got up, threw clothes on, and went to answer the door (he stayed in bed). It was my neighbor from across the street asking if I’d seen her dog. 2ish minutes of talking to her and letting her know I had no idea, but could help her look tomorrow later, I walked back into the room to find him laying in bed faced towards the wall (like uncomfortably close the wall) and so I was confused but I still kissed his neck and tried to initiate again. He just pushed me away and said “I finished the job.”, scoffed, then laid back down.
So now I’m confused on if I’m in the wrong or if he is.
Comments
NTA but he’s a total brat. Not the cutesy Charli XCX kind. I’d tell him he can take on that job full time if he’s gonna act that way. Don’t have sex with people who act like they’re entitled to it.
what the heck? is he a child? sometimes inconveniences happen, you even kissed him to show you’re still in the mood and he pushes you away and says “I finished the job” what a psycho. that’s not just immature, it’s straight up disrespectful. Drop his loser ass you deserve way better.
NTA
no
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Yes, you already asshole for that
Just like there are time to ignore the phone ringing. There are times you ignore a knock at the door, having sex with somebody is being busy to stop having sex to answer the door it’s very disrespectful to the person you are with and in a sense can tell them you don’t find them important because the door is more important.
I’d say yes you are the asshole for that.
Unless you were expecting somebody, that was a dick move.
Just think about what you have actually done. you have abandoned a moment of intimacy to answer the door. You chose to answer a door over being intimate with your partner.
It’s worse than texting while having sex. Because you actually left.
Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t have to act like that, but I dont blame him.
NTA. He’s being weird. Are you just supposed to ignore the door? Could have been something important.
Omg! You’re a narcissistic meanie! Just kidding, NTA! Hopefully you got yours while he sulked in the corner.
Personally, I would never get up to answer the door in the middle of sex, and I would silence my phone too.
But that’s a decision you are allowed to make if it seems like the right thing to you, and he was a total asshole when you came back.
So neither one of you handled this exactly right, according to my personal judgment and values, but his response was disproportionate and nasty. I would say he was much more wrong than you were.
Fuck that guy. Honestly, you don’t need this bullshit. Not your fault, he needs to stop being a baby ass bitch.
NTA. He’s a baby and that’s a red flag. Maybe answers here are split by gender, despite that I’m also a guy.
The last time someone knocked on my door who wasn’t my friend down the hall who has a very distinctive knock, it was two women trying to get me to switch to FIOS.
I would not have gotten up in the middle of sex. I’d’ve put my index finger to my lips and said “shhh,” and continued.
Next –
Next –
>find him laying in bed faced towards the wall (like uncomfortably close the wall)…He just pushed me away and said “I finished the job.”, scoffed, then laid back down
Getting interrupted by a knock on the door during sex is definitely a mood killer, but there’s really no need to act like that. This was an emergency, not her fault.
ESH. He reacted childishly but just ignore the damn knock.
If I’m being intimate with my wife the only sound I’m stopping things for is a tornado siren. The phone isn’t being answered and the door isn’t being answered.
That’s really weird. Is he like, real insecure or some shit? Or is he just super selfish? Either way, he’s the a**hole, not you
His reaction was out of line but many many people would be upset with their partner for doing this. Unfortunately things like this are a very unpleasant experience for men both physically and emotionally. Sometimes when it’s ruined like this we overreact and say things we shouldn’t.
We all live near old people. My downstairs neighbors are amazing and make me bomb ass dinner all the time. I’m not going to ruin a moment of intimacy to answer them at the door unless they knock like somebody is dying. The mood doesn’t always align as I think most adults know, I’m not going to interrupt it for hardly any reason at all.
Something similar happened to me. I traumatized my daughter’s teenaged friend when I opened the door because, while I quickly dressed, the “flush” wasn’t gone and it was pretty obvious what was going on. Poor kid! 😂
NTA – heaven forbid any future children walk in…
He don’t deserve you if he act like this .
You guys are both meh. You didn’t have to answer the door. It wasn’t an emergency. If someone had been banging yelling help or police that’s one thing, but you totally could’ve ignored a simple knock. Your bf is also a weirdo though.
“I finished the job”? Like you stepped away for a few minutes, and he was so wound up he couldn’t help but jerk off while you were gone, and now he’s done? NTA, tell him to keep dating his right hand.
Unless you were expecting someone. I don’t see why you got it. Having said that. NTA forhis overreacting
ESH. This is a weird situation.
I’m guessing you are both going through the motions of a relationship here and resentment has set it. At least for him.
He stopped while you were having sex when someone knocked on your door as he expected you to get up and leave. That says something. He expects you won’t prioritise time with him, and in a way won’t prioritise him.
Likely this isn’t true but may be how he feels. That’s resentment for you.
He then acts like a child. Telling you something about him and his view of your relationship. He acts like you are a prop in his life, you act like he’s a distraction until something else comes along.
You said he could have stopped you from getting up in a reply. That sounds bad to me. Do you mean he could have restrained your and finished when you didn’t want to? Sounds a lot like rape if that’s what you mean.
Just break up and find someone who you would prioritise over answering the door.
YTA, why the hell would you think a door knock is more important than intimacy with your boyfriend? If it were super loud hammering like in case of an emergency, i would get it, but like that? Sounds a bit like an ADHD move.
Maybe stay and focus on the moment between you two and dont invite other situations into it.
His reaction was childish of course, he should’ve just told you the moment has passed for him and maybe be disappointed in your action.
Honestly from his point of view it probably feels like rejection, like you got the excuse to get out of it and it was pretty rude tbh.
And if you were having a crap…?
I mean, I would never answer the door or my phone if I was in the middle of sex. But to each their own I guess.
Did he overreact? Yea. But I get it
Nothing says your not into him like walking out… I would have been getting my street clothes on to go home. You prioritized some random stranger over your intimate partner, during an intimate moment. You just told him everything he needs to know about the order of things. YTA Literally everyone else first, including some random neighbor at the door, taking out the trash, than him.
Meh how would you feel if he stopped having sex with you and left you hanging? You literally had a conversation with your neighbor while your boyfriend was left out to dry. Personally I can see why he’s pissed at you. Personally if I’m not expecting anyone and they don’t call out something like police or ambulance then I’m not answering the door.
He finished half the job. Leaving you hanging was selfish
He definitely reacted childish, BUT your post conveniently leaves out what happened during the time you got up and got dressed.
Did you say you were going to get the door? Did he ask you to ignore it? Did you tell him you’d be quick and promise to continue, etc…? I find it hard to believe nothing was said.
You say “not long into,” but depending on how “far along” you were, this could really be a huge mood killer. Answering the door could REALLY look like an excuse to get out of sex. We don’t know what your relationship is like, how often you have sex, whether this topic is touchy for you all, etc…
This seems like an issue of communication and expectation. Getting up to answer the door could definitely be a mood killer and feel like rejection to your BF.
His reaction was immature and nasty that’s for sure. But, I’m still confused why you had to answer the door if you weren’t expecting anyone, and they weren’t knocking like it was an emergency?
Edit – OP, your comments reveal that you have deeper issues with your partner that are the actual concern here. This is just another thing tacked on. You need to deal with those and address them or just end your relationship.
what a sulky child.
Must have been rubbish sex to stop and answer the door. If my partner and I are having sex after not seeing each other for a little while I’m not stopping to answer the door.
Sounds like a man-baby. He needs to grow up.
Believe what he is communicating with you, he is willing to sulk and have a mini-tantrum over something very small.
How did you communicate in the moment? Did you just get up and leave? Did you say something like “sorry about this, I’ll be right back then we can continue”? Communication is really important.
Did anyone else think “he” referred to the dog?
Yeh there isn’t a woman alive who would be OK with a guy doing that to them.
Ugh NTA. Sometimes things happen and we have to take a break. Thats life and the BF is a selfish AH. Sex survives a break come on guys, doesnt matter if its a well needed pee break or a knock on the door. The BF is just petty. Usually a short break will prolong the sex itself anyway, meaning MORE pleasure not less, especially when men are involved. But maybe that wasnt his goal? Ugh his comment is disgusting as well. Like it was all just about getting him off as quickly as possible and nothing else. He ia very unsexy.
The fact that anyone in these comments is saying she’s TA is completely blowing my mind. This situation is such a nothing situation that the wording some people are using like “abandoning intimacy” is insane. If I was at my bfs house and he got a knock on the door during intimacy it wouldn’t even be a second thought to pause the moment and go check out what’s happening, and vice versa. How this fully grown man reacted to this shows he’s either a guilt tripping man child, or need serious therapy if this situation felt like that much rejection to him
Ewww “finished the job”?
You are also not a staff member, leave the manchild to jork it solo, girl NTA
There is a lot of childish people in here. Shit comes up. Throwing a toddler tantrum bc you checked the door, is childish as f. You’re not the asshole. And don’t listen to people telling you it was rude. It wasn’t rude maybe a little socially awkward but who cares? It’s really not a big deal at all. The fact your bf is making it a big deal. Find someone else who will be eager to do the sex with you. Your boyfriend would rather fuck Palmela
I don’t answer the door or the phone during sex.
YTA
YTA
You stopped in the middle of sex to check the door and you’re wondering why he’s feeling upset and disrespected?
Yeah, it’s super rude you’d rather answer the door then continue sex.
Imagine if he stopped in the middle to answer his phone or something? How would you feel?
YTA, you literally killed the mood. Imagine if the roles were reversed, everyone would be calling the bf the AH for stopping and leaving the gf unsatisfied. People are only saying NTA cause op is female.
Where are the mods here!!! There is so much misandry in the comments it’s mind blowing! Heaven forbid there is actual equality in the rules on reddit. All these women pretending that getting up and leaving in the middle of sex is ok? And wouldn’t leave you feeling upset and less than important is just laughable! Especially as he probably heard her chatting about her neighbors dog ffs.
The guy chose to masturbate himself to a finish instead of just waiting a couple of minutes to finish together with you?
That’s weird.
But also, unless someone’s beating on your door like your building is on fire, you don’t have to drop everything to see to an unannounced guest.
So, his behavior—weird and then childish.
Your behavior, neighborly but at the expense of your sexy time—feel free to ignore knocks next time.
His dick will survive. His ego might not, but who cares.
NTA.
YTA. Why even bother opening the door? Boyfriend is weird as well
People don’t knock on doors anymore unless it’s really important
(or you just had a storm and somebody’s trying to sell you a new roof)
But nowadays hardly anybody ever knocks on my door unless it’s a neighbor who needs help
And I’m sorry, my neighbors who have been there for me long-term, helps look out for the house, help prevent break-ins, safe place for my kid to go if something happens when I have to run to the store… that those neighbors are more important than a guy I’ve only known for two months
And if he is reasonable emotional regulation it won’t offend him to realize that
He can wait two minutes for me to make sure everything’s OK (or at least check through the people to see if it’s a neighbor or a scammer)
Now if this is my husband, I honestly would be inclined to ignore the knock because in this season of child rearing plus “old people medication” intimacy is pretty rare and if something interrupts us it’s unlikely either one of us can get back into it physically
But that’s not the situation with OP
Did he tell you to ignore it?
He probably was just about to finish that’s why he was so mad. Immature? Yes.
But I get it, when my husband and I were dating he had a bad habit of answering his phone and it would honestly kill the mood.
“I finished the job” is wild 😂 you are NTA. If anything, he is! If I come back from answering my door assuming I’m about to get some and my partner is lying there having finished and upset, I’m gonna feel some type of way 🫠 I would definitely ask him why he reacted in such a way
Time for a new boyfriend. An ad this question to the list of questions you ask the next boyfriend. “IF someone knocks on the door while we’re in the middle of sex….what do you expect us to do?”
Well if he “finished the job” in under 2 minutes, you didnt miss much.
NTA hes a child. Id be giggling in bed if my partner had to go answer the door in the middle of sex.
He is an idiot, he could have easily wait until you come back and carry on
YTA. You should have just ignored the knock. You could have always found out later if it was important or not.
You deserve someone way better and who actually loves you and doesn’t push you away because you stop having sex to check the front door
If it really was about sex with you or you in general, he‘d have waited and jumped you again the second you came back.
Sex breaks happen all the time in the real world. It’s normal. Life doesn’t wait for you to cum. So NTA.
He was angry because he didn’t get what he wanted when he wanted it. It wasn’t about you in the slightest, not about being intime with you – it was only about his dick. Which is pretty disgusting overall.
He’s selfish af, he’s passive aggressive, he sees you as a tool to jerk off, not as someone he wants to be sexual with, he’s throwing fits like a toddler, can’t communicate, has the emotional intelligence of a toast and doesn’t care if you finish anyway. Only he matters. Imagine that guy with children and him raging over having to stop when a baby wakes up or a kid gets hurt…
Now tell me why you’re still with that guy? He only appears once a week and then isn’t even nice to you. Go get yourself a grown man instead.
NTA, anyone saying otherwise is a sex addict. You tried to initiate sex again with him, and he threw a tantrum like a child. A MAN(keyword MAN), would’ve asked “hey, what’s going on, is everything alright?” and after telling him what happened, I’m sure he would’ve been like “ok”, and said “hey, want to continue where we left off?”.
Also, the reason I say anyone disagreeing is a sex addict, is because what if someone is having an emergency, and you’re the first person they decide to call, or go to? What if it’s a life or death situation? A lot of y’all are just showing how unreliable you are.
So what stands out to me is that it was a job for you to perform FOR him, not intimacy between two people who love each other? Sure sometimes sex is just sex, but you’d think he’d want to spend that time WITH you rather than punish you for not doing your “job.”
Are you seriously confused? If so you’re a complete idiot. If you get offended by this there is no doubt you are just looking for validation to a situation you created and don’t like the position you put yourself in.
NTA
Not only is he behaving super childishly, he’s also giving you important insight into how he views sex in general. It’s a “job” and the goal is to get himself off. It’s not about you, or intimacy as a couple, it’s about him feeling like he was owed an orgasm without interruption. The sulking and snapping? Major ick. If you’re frequently getting distracted by other things during sex, and it’s a pattern of him feeling abandoned during intimate moments, that would warrant a conversation. His reaction was unwarranted, full stop.
Childish AF I guess he was mad you answered the door. Get the ring doorbell you can answer from your phone for the future. It is a lot safer for a woman. He will get over it. He just really wanted to have sex and was really horny and mad that you left for as long as you did that’s a lot for guys. They’re really immature and they’re not like girls. They can’t stop and go and stop and go it just is not the same for them as it is for us.
I’m not sure why he reacted that way. Looks like you need to communicate better across the board. NTA but definitely not totally out of the hot water because he was clearly hurt by your actions. Seems like you both need to communicate better.
If you need to come to Reddit to ask if you’re the asshole then it’s time to grow up love he was the asshole in that situation and that’s really obvious. Why can’t you see this? He sounds pathetic bet you can do better