AITAH for pointing out that I have hair while my husband is going bold?
This all started because I “take to long in the shower”.. For context I have a waist length hair that is VERY thick and VERY coarse. When I wash my hair it does take a while because I do have so much hair.
Now, the other night I really needed to wash my hair, it is literally a chore to wash and dry my hair so it’s never anything I look forward to, but when I told my husband he told me “don’t take forever because I need to shower too.” So I was doing my best to hurry but also be efficient. I had just finished shampooing and in the middle of conditioning, when out of no where the water got cold, I had maybe been in for 10 minutes. I hurried up, rinsed, and got out. I came out and my husband said, “I thought that would make you hurry!”
HE TURNED OFF THE HOT WATER!!! And he thought it was funny… because I shouldn’t take that long in the shower.
I lost it! I told him just because he doesn’t have hair to wash doesn’t give him a right to take it out on me because I do.
I felt like Mia from Princess diaries, “Just because your hair sucks, get off mine!”
I apparently hit a nerve because he got super upset and told me it was completely uncalled for… Oh the irony. Also he’s been pouting about it ever since…
Sooo AITAH?
EDIT: He normally showers first but that night he told me to go first. So I did.
AITAH for pointing out that I have hair and my husband doesn’t
r/AITAH
Comments
NTA. I mean you have to do what you have to do, maybe he could have showered first and then leave you to it, but the thing that gets me the most is him turning the hot water off! He might see it as a joke, but you being the punch line is never funny.
ESH. He sounds immature, and you attacked him below the belt in return. You’re both toxic.
NTA
Instead of being a mature adult, he decided to punish you for “taking too long” in the shower while knowing you have more to do in there.
Is he always this vindictive?
Why wouldn’t he take a shower first? YTA
Definitely NTA. He shut off the water.
In the future though as a compromise, would it be better if he showered first?
Literally why not just let him shower first? You’re both being childish. ETAH
NTA. He needs to communicate with you about how to solve issues like this rather than doing things like turning off the hot water in the middle of your shower. What he did was childish. If he has never had long thick hair – he doesn’t know what it’s like to have to take care of long thick hair. Is it insensitive for you to say that? Yeah maybe, but it’s true, so?
How did he turn the hot water off to the shower?
turning off the water is pretty immature. Learn to communicate bro.
ESH. You should have let him shower first, and insist he does so going forward to nip this arguement in the bud. He shouldn’t be micromanaging how long you wash your hair, because long and thick hairdoesjust take that long to clean. Let alone dry. Him turning off the hot water and you calling him bald were equal slaps.Edit: Thanks for the reply, OP! Him insisting you go first only to shut the hot off on you after a few minutes is a dick move 100%. NTA.
NTA but I doubt this is the first time he’s been a child.
NTA. Do exactly the same to him.
NTA. I tell my husband the same thing! “Then take a shower first because I take longer than you on days I wash my hair”… if he doesn’t like that he’s losing his hair tell him to get Rogaine. lol (or however you spell it haha)
Can he not get in with you? If my wife is in The shower, I know she is going to take forever, so I get in with her. We can shower separately at the same time in our house.🏡
YES!!!
What the absolute fuck, do you have a husband or a vindictive father trying to “teach you a lesson about saving water and not wasting other peoples time”?
My dad used to do this to me when I lived with him when I was in high-school, because I struggled with taking to long of showers
He’d turn off the water-heater
He’d at least knock on the door first and give me a warning though
NTA, your husband is immature and controlling
He shouldn’t have let you take the first shower if if would bother him that much
Also; a 10min shower on a full wash/condition day? Gtfo, that would be minimum 20mins, especially if your hair type doesn’t require daily shampooing, and you were doing your full routine that day
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…
He turned the hot water off on you like a fucking immature child, but telling him he doesn’t take as long because he’s bald(ing)… was uncalled for? You know good and damn well you’re NTA, and if he was so concerned about getting in and out of the shower he should have got his ass up and taken a shower FIRST if he’s so concerned about the heat of the water. Let his ass pout until his lip comes off. I can’t stand folks like that.
NTA. He’s a child. Maybe you can remind him he’s an adult by inviting him to shower with you and wash your hair. When he discovers for himself what a chore it truly is, hopefully he’ll shut up about it.
Kudos to you. Your hubby is a schumuk!
Esh.
If you know he’s waiting to shower and you take a long time, just let him go first.
NTA. What a jerk.
Total asshole thing to say, he will always remember it, but he did turn the water off…….
Does your husband walk around bold in public? Could get arrested!
YNTA.
Does he love your long hair? Cut it short. Really short. Tell your stylist you want to donate it to cancer patients.
Hair will grow back. Maybe not his, but yours will.
You could also turn the water completely off the next time he’s in the shower. Yeah, I know this is petty.
ESH – conflict is inevitable in marriage, but doing and saying mean things is childish. You both need to check yourselves and think about being kind to on another.
NTA my boyfriend always makes fun of how long it takes girls because we have more hair. And the other day I had injuries on both hands so he had to wash my hair for me, and let me tell you. He’s never complained since lol but he never turned the hot water off that’s just so childish.
I’d turn the hot water off on him and leave the house lmao f him
It was completely uncalled for him to turn off the hot water. He is a petulant baby who can dish it, but can’t take it. Idk how you could he attracted to a man who acts like this.
NTA
INFO: Why didn’t he shower first?
NTA. What a jerk!!
Big, fat NTA from a long haired, curly girl. Its a process that takes longer than 5 minutes. If all we had to do was wash our balls and polish our dome we’d be done a lot quicker. He should’ve showered first or shut up about it.
He could hop his ass in the shower with you nta
NTA.
Your husband is an absolute man baby.
NTA.
NTA
If he can dish it out but can’t take it, then that says a whole lot about his character more than it says about you.
If he wants to use the shower so badly, then have the schedule switched where he does it first and then you can go last, that way everyone’s happy.
Let him be pouty, and carry on with your own things. What a weird hill for him to die on. And if he’s that insecure about it, then he needs to go to therapy about that because what he did is not a joke, it’s just plain stupid and petty. How is he an adult and still acts like this??
He’s throwing stones when he’s living in a glass house.
Good on you for standing up for yourself, don’t take crap like this. Give some time to process, but definitely have a more serious conversation about how you felt and what he did, because stuff like this, cannot continue like this.
Oh my god he’s bald. He’s bald and torturing people with hair
Long showers shouldn’t be an issue unless you’re leaving him with cold showers.
I think you should both apologize.
NTA, and he told you to god first because he was planning to do this to you.
NTA. He’s being really petty, and never should’ve shut the hot water off like that. Especially when he could’ve taken a shower first, but this doesn’t mean you should continue to get petty too. It sounds like when you said something about his balding, you really were upset and frustrated (and rightfully so), but now knowing it will genuinely hurt him, I’d avoid it as it becomes a useless insult and not communicating at all.
Tell him to stop being an ass, that you’re going to take as long as you take and that he can come in and help next time if he’s bored and needs your attention.