So for context I’m due to have my baby in 4 days. For the last 6 months my MIL has offered to buy our car seat for our baby and we were on board with that and still are happy for her to get the layby off. In recent events her and her husband have split and life has been up ended for her which we have been completely understandable about and have asked her 3 times prior to me putting the car seat on layby and she insisted every time that she wanted to buy it. She is really strapped for cash and we understand that but I’m 4 days from due date so told her today I put it on layby and I can give her the receipt to grab it or I can just get it off tomorrow with afterpay and she is now upset with me saying she was going to get it and I don’t need it till baby is born anyway…the thing is why should I have to wait till the baby is born? I feel like that’s leaving me unorganised and it’s the last thing we need to sort before I give birth. Am I the asshole? I feel like I’m not in the wrong but maybe I am?
AITAH for putting the car seat I want on layby after my mother in law insisted she’d be buying it?
r/AITAH
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Four days before is extremely last minute. She’s being totally unreasonable.
It’s pride. She made you a promise she can’t keep, and instead of being honest she’s being defensive.
Stop asking her about it or telling her she can pay you back.
Just buy the thing.
If she mentions it later, just be kind and let her know that babysitting is a lovely gift.
No hospital is going to let you leave with that baby without a car seat.
You are 4 days before delivery, you should have that car seat and baby bag packed and ready to go already.
Babies don’t always arrive on schedule or wait for MIL to get her shit together
Baby could arrive in an hour. A due date is a 5 week window. Get the seat and get it installed so you are ready to leave hospital. NTA
No ot course not
NTA – mom here, 4 days prior for literally something that’s mandatory to bring to the hospital is completely unreasonable and i had all my kids weeks prior their due dates… like at 4 days due i had my kids at home already. She is the AH for putting you in this situation literally things like bassinet/crib, carseat and change table are the main things people get and build ahead. She needs to understand that you literally need to have that car seat in the car already installed and ready to go! also as a mom highly recommend 4 in 1 carseats, i had a bucket one and had to buy a 4 in 1 and honestly i wish i had gotten that one for all my pregnancies, the bucket seat lasted me 6 months and then gets to heavy to bring anywhere or lift.
Frankly I’m surprised you didn’t have that already.
Stop including her in the conversation about it, and go pick it up.
You used to be able to rent car seats from plunket, maybe check that out
You need the seat literally WHEN the baby is born. And you’ll need the seat to take baby home. NTA.
NTA get the seat yourself and install it. She can repay you if it means that much to her.
NTA, due dates are a guideline. Everyone I know gets things at least a month before the due date.
NTA, you need that seat installed in the car now so you can ensure it’s a good fit and working as it should.
Just get it and have your husband tell her that she can reimburse you guys later on. Then don’t count on reimburse because it sound like she’s going through a rough patch now
I’m still waiting for my mother to buy the car seat she promised me when I had my first baby
That baby turns 24 this year
NTA
ESH.
Your MIL should face up to the fact that she can’t afford the seat right now. You – who apparently knows her circumstances have changed – continue to ask her about it. And when someone suggests you buy it, you claim you can’t because of the drama that may cause.
You’re going to be a parent. That means putting your child first. Buy the seat. Any fuss MIL kicks up is nothing compared to the safety and security of your child.
NTA. Go get it. You say 4 days but it might end up being 1 day.
Hi Mama! I’m due this Friday so this is totally relatable. I would just buy it myself because you still have to install it in your car and that’d be the last thing you should be stressing out about when your baby is born.
As for your MIL, it is pride and her head might not be in the right space now so her reasoning is somewhere else. If she really wants to get it as she claims, let her give you the money and that’s it…. problem solved.
Congrats in advance in your bundle of joy!
I think I need context, what is Laybuy?
She wants to do it for you. You don’t need it for a week or two and I bet she’ll have it under control by then. She’s having a tough time right now and this is adding to the stress.
Now that you’re having a baby …it doesn’t matter what anyone else promised….take care of you and your child first !
She can suck up her pride and help in other ways. 6 months was plenty of time and you don’t need the added stress of her projecting her bullshit on to you. This is YOUR time
NTA. Message MIL: Hi MIL. I have decided to pick up the car seat myself, as it has to be professionally installed into my car. I totally understand what a lovely suggestion it was for you to purchase and I’m sure anything you think of would be lovely too.
NTA. Stop asking, she can’t fulfill her promise. You need a car seat to take baby home, so you do need it before baby gets here. Births are unpredictable, your due date means nothing. You realistically should have had that car seat earlier, thankfully you didn’t need it. Here’s hoping everything goes smoothly for you!!
You needed this seat weeks ago. It should already be in the car and you practicing with a doll so you are fully skilled in getting baby into it as soon as you are released. You could have bought it and told her to give you the money when she had it. She’s struggling and there is more chance of me flying to the moon than her getting the car seat in time.
YTA. For some reason you’ve put off this very important item and now it’s an emergency. You never rely on others for something critical this close to your due date. Now you are going to have to struggle to get one you like in time. You could drop any moment and the last thing you need to be doing is to be going to baby shops trying to find an affordable one you like. You can get one off Amazon, but depending on where you are shipping could take days.
ESH.
You need to have this sorted out before giving birth or you won’t be able to transport your new baby home!
She should be more honest about her changed circumstances.
You should stop believing her.
You need that car seat now. Not just purchased but installed. Like yesterday.
Just stop discussing & go get it and install it.
If she brings it up, tell her she can pay you back or purchase something else for the baby.
While it is what others said, her pride getting in the way, you have a bigger responsibility than coddling her ego. You are about to drop a baby any minute and they won’t let you leave the hospital without the car seat. Do you really want your husband out scrambling to buy & install a car seat while you are in the hospital?
Get your car seat. Are you going to want to be waiting at the hospital to get one installed?
NTA.
Buy the car sear. What if your baby comes today?? If she doesn’t have the cash today she won’t have it in 4. Who gives a shit about her hurt feelings. Your baby needs this NOW not when she eventually has the money. Not too mention you probably want a few days before babe gets here to install it in your vehicle.
Hun you are due in 4 DAYS!!! You could literally break as I’m typing this! What’s more important, getting bubba home safely, or MILs feelings? Sorry but bubba every time!!
I get it, she sounds like a nightmare, but you need to know everything IS sorted. Not will be. IS. Get the carseat, and if she kicks off just tell her to pay you back. If she complains, ask her what I asked you. What’s more important to her? Her grandchild’s safety, or her lack or priorities?
Nta, I’m surprised you waited so long! I’m 22wks and everything I’ve read says to have it installed and checked at least 1 mo prior to due date.
NTA
You can go anytime being due in 4 days. You don’t want to be messing with a car seat while in the hospital. It has to be installed before you leave. She gives procrastinating a new meaning. New moms don’t procrastinate… they nest lol.
I’m due in 3 months and already have my car seat. Mostly because tariffs. You need it like yesterday. She isn’t following through and her feelings are not as important as getting the actual car seat. Just get it and be done with it. Stop stressing yourself over this it’s not worth it right before labor
Also congrats!
NTA. You needed the car seat a week ago! You could go into labor at any moment, and will require that seat to bring the baby home. You should have gotten it earlier in order to see that it is properly installed. ( most fire departments will happily do this for you)