AITAH for refusing my dad’s new wife to treat me like her child even if im 25?

r/

(Sorry upfront english is not my first languge.)

I (25M) still live near my fathers apartment. My parents divorced when i was almost 16 and it was not good. I most stayd with my mom but had a kind of good contact with my father.

Last year in may he married his now wife 31F. She is okay. She is nice and tries to include me in activities etc. But weeks ago she introduced me as ‘their son’.

To me it weird because im good with my mom. She is a big part of my life. I told her and she says she want to bond. My dad wants me to acept it because it makes her happy. He also said its not a big thing.

But to me it really is. I have a mom. I feel like she tries to exclude my mom and change my family dynamic.

I said i dont want to met her if she continus. She is now mad and my dad is also because I said I dont want to meet her anymore…

I talked with friends and most of them said im right. but some say I’m being too strict because she trys to be nice.

Am I wrong?? What can I do? Help!

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    (Sorry upfront english is not my first languge.)

    I (25M) still live near my fathers apartment. My parents divorced when i was almost 16 and it was not good. I most stayd with my mom but had a kind of good contact with my father.

    Last year in may he married his now wife 31F. She is okay. She is nice and tries to include me in activities etc. But weeks ago she introduced me as ‘their son’.

    To me it weird because im good with my mom. She is a big part of my life. I told her and she says she want to bond. My dad wants me to acept it because it makes her happy. He also said its not a big thing.

    But to me it really is. I have a mom. I feel like she tries to exclude my mom and change my family dynamic.

    I said i dont want to met her if she continus. She is now mad and my dad is also because I said I dont want to meet her anymore…

    I talked with friends and most of them said im right. but some say I’m being too strict because she trys to be nice.

    Am I wrong?? What can I do? Help!

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > Because I am refusing to have contact with her since she acts like my mother…

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  3. Yernar125 Avatar

    NTA – You are not her son and she needs to respect your wishes on how she refers to you. Just curious, how did you want her to introduce you?

  4. am_Nein Avatar

    NTA. This is your boundary to enforce, not theirs. She’s trying to impose motherhood status on you, and that just isn’t how it works. Stand your ground OP.

  5. Briiiiiiyonce Avatar

    NTA. This woman is only 6 years older than you and expects for you to be mommy and son? That’s high level weird. At that point that’s your dad’s girlfriend and that’s all she should ever be to you.

  6. flowerybutterfly96 Avatar

    She is six years older than you. Yeah, no. Even if she was 51, you aren’t obligated to have that kind of relationship with her. Tell her that hopefully, with time, you might develop a friendship. NTA.

  7. lmchatterbox Avatar

    NTA. You are an adult. You aren’t getting a new mom. You have one. You’re not obligated to participate in this farce.

  8. Moose-Live Avatar

    NTA. She can’t force a mom/son dynamic on you if you don’t want it. And the 6 year age gap makes it ridiculous.

    “Trying to be nice” is often a euphemism for “trying to force something that only one person wants”. You don’t have to accept that

  9. United-Manner20 Avatar

    This was literally just posted yesterday if you’re gonna repost for karma at least pick one that’s older

  10. imnvs_runvs Avatar

    Okay, so you were 16 when your parents split and your father remarried when you were 24, now 25. You don’t need another mother. You aren’t her child. She didn’t help raise you. You are fully in the right. She’s trying to force a relationship that doesn’t exist, and she needs to back down and let the relationship evolve naturally.

    NTA