I (28F) work full-time and value my weekends as my only real rest. My sister (32F) has three kids under 8, and lately she’s been asking me to babysit almost every weekend. At first I said yes, but it quickly became every Saturday and Sunday, sometimes for 6+ hours.
I finally told her that if she needs me that often, she should pay me something for my time, even if it’s not much. She got angry and said I’m “selfish” and that family should help without expecting money.
Now my parents are on her side, saying I should be there for her because “she has more responsibilities than I do.” But honestly, I feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
So, AITAH for refusing to babysit unless she pays me?
Comments
NTA you don’t have to regardless of payment. Let your parents volunteer if they feel so strongly about it
She’s basically treating you as a weekend daycare or a part-time nanny. She either needs to pay you or actually find someone whose job that is because you’re a whole ass adult with your own life and a full-time job. NTA except to yourself letting her treat you like this.
NTA
Sounds like your mom and dad need to step up and babysit if they agree with her.
Your sisters responsibilities aren’t your problem and she needs to stop trying to shove her kids off every single weekend. If she needs them looked after she can pay a babysitter or since your parents want to stick their nose in then they can look after them. You are not obligated to provide free babysitting just because you don’t have children.
Rinse. Repeat. Yawn. You can search for threads in this sub-Reddit about “family babysitting” and see the same issue over and over and over again.
Same advice every time: No, you do not owe her free babysitting as some sort of tribute to her vaunted status of motherhood. She is acting like an entitled brat and her attitude is disrespectful of your time. If mommy and daddy thinks she needs help, they are welcome to spend their weekends being a part-time nanny for free.
At this point, even if she paid you, I wouldn’t do it. Being taken for granted is never fun.
Sister is incredibly selfish. When are you supposed to recharge after working 5 days a week?
These are her children and her responsibility. Walk away from helping her more than once a quarter; if that.
Change the subject when others berate you for not being a doormat.
Not your spawn. Not your responsibility…
She got them, their her problems, you enjoy time with them.on your terms. If not, you are compensated…
NTA
“No. I have other commitments”
NTA. Your parents can mind the kids.
You are definitely being taken advantage of. There must be sensible young adults in her neighbourhood who want to earn some pocket money.
NTA. Sounds like your parents are volunteering their weekends, after all, family and all that
Nta
Let her know that your parents are volunteering to watch her kids for free.
Warn her that you will call CPS if they are dropped off again. Do not bluff.
NTA. Stop babysitting for that freeloader. Tell your parents to do it. What is she doing all weekend, every weekend without her kids??
NTA her kids, her problem. I am super curious though what she’s doing that she is so desperate for babysitting every single weekend but can’t afford child care.
What is she doing that she needs you for extended hours every single weekend? Where is the father of those kids? How about their OTHER grandparents?
I wouldn’t do it every weekend even if she paid me. My weekends are my time to recharge, hang out with my friends, do my deep house cleaning and grocery shopping, engage in my own hobbies, and in general do the things that can’t be done after 6 pm on weekdays.
Every weekend? No flipping way.
NTA
Sorry I have plans.
Every single time.
If she drops the kids off anyway and takes off, tell her if she doesn’t immediately turn around and get her kids, that you will call CPS and report her for abandoning her children.
Then call the police and report her to CPS.
She can choose to drop them off at your parents house since they also believe in the “family helps family” bullshit.
Either hire a sitter or let your parents support her
Why does she get her weekends n u don’t? NtA.. get ur money or stop baby sitting
NTA but your sister is because she’s taking advantage of you. You should limit it to every so often, every 2 or 3 or 4 weeks. Frankly, I believe it should be the very rare weekend because they are not your children. To expect you to babysit every weekend is absolutely unacceptable! You have a right to a life that does not involve being your sister’s free weekend babysitter. She should be grateful for every time you have given your time to care for her children. If she expects it every weekend, a rate of pay should apply, unless you truly feel like continuing to be exploited. Again, NTA.
Fake
NTA, and even if she did offer to pay you, the guilt tripping and all that would come with it isn’t worth it, plus she’d probably expect you to do more.
She’s the one who chose to have kids, not you. Her kids are her responsibility, not yours. Your weekends are your only time off to rest. She needs to step up and be a parent to her own kids, and if your parents are going to whine about it, they can babysit for her.
You need something to do, somewhere to go so you won’t be available for the next couple of months. See if she won’t catch the hint. They’re not your kids to raise. They’re hers.
You are being taken advantage of. Say no. Your weekend time is yours to do what you want. How about grandparents helping out? Your sister chose to have 3 children. They are her responsibility not yours. Next time she asks, tell her you have other plans. Don’t tell her what. Don’t answer the door if she just shows up to drop them off. Keep saying no. And don’ t even do it for money. She’ll get the hint eventually.
Where is the kids’ father?
Tell your parents to babysit since family needs to help each other out.
Tell her you have plans for the weekends.
NTA. Sounds like your parents need to step up and babysit for free.
Don’t ask for payment, because that only open you up to more pressure.
I’m tired and burnt out. There are your kids not mine I have other plans.
NTA
NTA, tell your parents you agree too. Tell sis to drop the kids off at their house.
Your sister and parents know better than this.
Tell her to bring you an expensive complicated meal whenever she makes her demands.
How many fake variations of this same exact post do I have to read?
NTA. EVERY WEEKEND is a lot. Even if she paid you I’d only do it one weekend a month.
If your parents feel the same as your sister then they should babysit EVERY WEEKEND.
And yes, you should get paid!!
1 night out of the month is helping family-this is being taken advantage of
Time to stop being taken advantage of. Only you can arrange it.
NTA
Tell your sister that you’ll babysit one weekend a month. If your parents pipe up tell them they are free to babysit the rest of the time.
I’m like you. I work, pay my bills and have no children. I have nephews (grown now) and my sister was a single mom. I’d babysit once a month for her, otherwise I’d only babysit if it was an emergency. Small children often end up having to go to the ER and it’s easier if you don’t have to drag the others along as well. Sadly mom died when the kids were very young and dad was not a good person to leave small humans with so it was me by default.
I have a social life, friends I visit regularly, and a life. I didn’t make the kids and while I was happy to pitch in if necessary I was clear from the beginning I wasn’t another parent.
Every weekend is too much. when are you supposed to do basic life chores like shopping, cleaning, laundry? You are basically working 7 days a week without a break. you need to pull your shiny spine out of storage and start being the bad guy. You love your niblings, but they’re not your responsibility. It won’t be long before it starts on Friday night and you have them until Sunday night. Because sister needs the break. I’m sorry but being a parent is tough. You have to sacrifice your own time and enjoyment for them. They can be a joy, but also a pain in the bum. It’s what you signed up for when you decided to have them. You didn’t sign up for it.
Same posting, different week… Folks need to read what’s up!
Nta. Your parents can volunteer for free
I don’t expect to be paid to help family , but my family wouldn’t be taken advantage of me, it would be if it was for something special
Maybe once every 6 weeks
NTA. Over to Granny and Grandpa then…
Your parents are welcome to be her unpaid sitters. Every week. You, on the other hand might volunteer once a month. Saturday or Sunday with a two week notice.
You. Have. A. Life.
Nta.
You’re not her servant.
You’re not even her assistant. That’s her baby Daddy’s job.
Also, the kids have grandparents, and other aunts and uncles she could ask.
She’s taking advantage of you, and now everyone is telling you to keep shut, and do as you’re told, because……they don’t want to do it either. Better you, than them.
I must read the same story at least once a day. I will never understand why people think they have to babysit other people’s children. They are not your responsibility. Just say no.
NTA.
If your parents agree that “family should help family”, then they can watch the kids abs give up their weekends.
No is all you need to say. Tell her you’re done donating your weekends and you need time for you. There’s nothing she can say at that point that doesn’t highlight how she doesn’t care about your wellbeing or being fair to you because it is all about her after all eh.
She’s one spoiled brat.
Occasionally sure all the time no
NTA. Let your parents babysit if they have shit to say.
Fuck your sister. But wrap it up since she keeps pumping out kids
NTA. Three kids under 8 is a lot to juggle, but that’s your sister’s responsibility. If she expects you to watch all 3, she should recognize how hard that is and compensate you for your time in some way. Right now she’s acting entitled and you are right to shut that down.
Why does AI keep churning the same stories over and over?
NTA nip this in the bud or you won’t have a social life, money or not.
NTA
Working full-time you NEED time to do housework, grocery shopping, exercise etc as well as time to rest, relax and enjoy yourself.
if you volunteered to babysit the kids one day or evening a month it would be very generous. Your sister sounds ungrateful.
NTA
Your parents can STFU and babysit. That’s where they have a say. They have no business speaking on this at all.
If she can’t handle the kids, too bad. She made them, you didn’t.
Let your parents babysit Your sister chose to have kids and that comes with responsibilities I’m not saying don’t babysit for her but you’re young and should be going out on the weekends with your friends or just plain downtime Your sister seems to be quite entitled if she thinks that’s what your weekends should be
You feel like you are being taken advantage of, because you are.
Set boundaries: “I can only help one day every third month.”
Beyond saying that, you do NOT owe anyone an explanation. Turn off your phone. Sleep in. Clean your place, Shop (suggest somewhere/sometime they won’t go)
Go to the beach or some other fun thing like hiking, art museum, antique shopping. You get the idea
They’re not YOUR kids!!! And if your parents feel so strongly about helping ‘family’ THEY can give up EVERY weekend!!! And she has more responsibilities because she chose to lay down and make babies. You didn’t, enjoy your child free time as YOU want! NTA. If she wants a nanny/babysitter, she can pay one.
What’s her reason for dropping kids every weekend? To have free time? She birth those kids, now she’s a parent. That’s 24/7/365. If she has some medical treatment, or has to work over weekends, I could understand why she’s in a need. But your parents response or lack of it, when you suggested them to babysit says all. She should be very grateful for the babysitting you’ve done. I would not accept future babysitting even with financial compensation. Unless I would need the money. Also, babysitting is a grandparents duty. Tell them that. Repeat it like a parrot.
Ask them why you are the one working seven days a week so that she can have two days off on the weekend.
Tell her that only family who feels entitled, expects free services and that you’re not a day care center…. You have life
Tell her and your mother are greedy and selfish for wanting you to be slave labor for nothing.
truthfully what they like or don’t like is irrelevant. your answer is no. tell him to go get a babysitter
You mistake was to ask for money. Simply don’t be available every weekend. I can do 6 hrs on Sunday only this weekend but next weekend I am not available.
Why not, what are your plans?
It is private.
Updateme
NTA
Stack your weekend calendar
If they push back state your commitments are work related
I can not believe that families use someone so easily
NTA, she is taking advantage of you, I mean really taking the piss, dumping her kids on you every weekend for free ! You need to put a stop to it asap
So you’re working seven days a week now. NTA. Keep your auntie status and give yourself a break.
NTA . Family doesn’t take advantage of family!!!
Poor kids. School or daycare all week and then their own mum don’t want them on the weekend.
OP you should just tell her “no, not this weekend” regardless of the money. You need your rest and free time.
Responsibilities she chose to take on, presumably. Or does she not know how babies happen? I’d be interested to know how she’s helped YOU in ways you otherwise would have needed to pay someone for. “Family helps each other” has to be a two-way street.
NTA.
Family also isn’t supposed to take advantage of it.
You have as much right to free weekends as your sister does…in fact, you have more right to it. You don’t have kids and shouldn’t have to be tied up all weekend so she gets a break. They’re HER kids, not yours. If you only kept them 1 weekend every 6 weeks or so, she should be grateful. Instead, she’s entitled.
If she wanted free weekends she shouldn’t have had 3 kids.
NTA and “but family” is a stupid reason to tolerate bullying or abuse. Your sister is trying to bully you. Stand your ground. Do not let her play the “family” card on you. Not your kids, not your problem. She can pay or find other solutions. Tell your parents THEY can sit for free if “family” is so important. You ARE being taken advantage of.
Fantastic that the grandparents are now taking over childminding for you. You know, family does it for free. NTA