My (24F) mom passed away when I was 16. She left me all her jewelry, a mix of sentimental pieces and a few valuable items, to “have something beautiful from her” when I was older. My dad remarried when I was 19, to Kara (38F), who has a daughter, Emma (16F).
Last week, Kara pulled me aside and asked if I’d consider giving Emma “some of my mom’s jewelry” since she “never had a mother figure who could pass anything down.” I was shocked and told her no, because those pieces were my mom’s, for me, period. Kara said I was being “selfish and cruel” and that Emma “deserves sisterly love and inclusion.” My dad later called me and said I could’ve “spared a necklace” to keep the peace.
Now Emma’s apparently upset and thinks I “hate her,” which I don’t, I just don’t want to give away my dead mom’s things. My dad says I’m making his wife feel unwanted in the family. AITAH for refusing?
Comments
You are under zero obligation to give away your dead mother’s belongings. Tell them your inheritance isn’t a clearance rack
Not the asshole. If, and only if, you do feel like giving her a sisterly gift, buy her a charm bracelet or something. There is ZERO reason it has to be your late mom’s jewelry.
>Kara pulled me aside and asked if I’d consider giving Emma “some of my mom’s jewelry” since she “never had a mother figure who could pass anything down”.
That is literally Kara’s own fault not getting stuff for her own daughter. The entitlement!
Nta.
kara, emma’s mom, told you that emma didn’t have a mother figure? wtf?
>”never had a mother figure who could pass anything down.”
Who and what do you think you are, Kara?
Poor Emma. At least you had a mother. Red flag for your father, too.
Have you got the pieces somewhere safe. I can see your dad’s wife talking them without your permission if she can get her hands on them.
My grandfathers girlfriend asked for some Gond jewelry and college sports paraphernalia after he passed. I said no as well.
Kara can buy her own daughter some nice shiny things, she is out of line. NTA
NTA. Your dad & SM are tho. If she wants her daughter to have jewelry then she needs to buy HER daughter jewelry. She’s literally her mom. The jewelry you have was YOUR moms…. Just sounds like she’s either cheap, jealous just a batch in general. Besides your SS wouldn’t have been butthurt had her mom kept her mouth closed.
NTAH
Dafuq? Emma had Kara as a mother figure. Who in fact IS her bio mother.
So it’s up to Kara to save in order to have sonething to pass down.
She doesn’t get to demand from somebody not even related to them to “share your inheritance”.
I’d have YELLED at her that she is highly disgusting to even ask shit like that!
Get it out of your house, else they will take it.
But then…. AI has not much immagination als always calls them Emma … likely bs
Kara is literally her mother though so how does her daughter not have a mother figure?
Those were your mother pieces and belong to you. Your dad remarried when you were an adult, and you have no relationship with her daughter. I’m sure you are pretty neutral to both of them. Especially as he obviously started dating before your mom was cold in her grave.
NTA. Tell your Dad your mum would be disappointed in him.
Then say you said no, and no means no, not bully me into submission. Then go LC for a while.
If you live elsewhere, get cameras and make sure your dad and Kara don’t have access to your place.
Take photos of every item of jewellery of your mothers and make it clear you’ll press charges if they take any.
NTA I would get a small safety deposit box and put it in there so they can’t get at it.
I feel like this story is fake
Kara can ensure Emma’s needs for “sisterly love and inclusion” are met by buying you both new matching or complementary jewellery and starting a new legacy, as opposed to disrespecting your late mother’s gift to you as her only child. NTA
Utter nonsense. NTA.
Pls don’t give anything to her. Why is she even aware of your inheritance or obsessed with it? She’s just being a manipulative little s$@t. Maybe she is just entitled but she sounds like she is just a brat whose mom can’t say no to her no matter how obnoxious the request is. Sorry about your loss!
Tell Kara that it’s incredibly tacky to ask a grieving child for her deceased mothers personal items. Ask Emma if she realizes that your mom had to die for you to inherit this jewelry and if she really understands what she’s asking for.
Tell dad that he needs to shut this down immediately and that you are not going to give up anything of your mother’s and that maybe the rest of the family would be as disappointed in them as you are.
My condolences.
NTA, Kara is literally her mom, and alive! What prevents her from getting jewelry to leave behind. The leave behind part is the way it works.
No, it’s because they’re greedy and want something for nothing. Something that your mom intentionally gave you for sentimental reasons. They’re gross
Eh? Your stepsisters MOTHER said her DAUGHTER had never had a MOTHER FIGURE?
What?
This isn’t making sense to me. Emma has a “mother figure” in her own mother–Kara. If Kara wants to gift some of her own jewelry to her own daughter, she’s free to do so. Or to buy a new piece for Emma. Why would she need to cannibalize someone else’s heirlooms? How did she even find out about the origin of those items?
Why is your dad pressuring you to go along with this highway robbery, OP? I guess he’s getting flack from his new wife, and can’t stand up to her. That’s his problem. It shouldn’t be yours. NTA
NTA
NTA What? She’s got some nerve.
Basically, if they are upset that you will not give away your own property passed down from your mother then that is their problem and really has nothing to do with you besides having to listen to their whining and complaining
The audacity! Tell her have your dad buy you some jewelry so you can pass down to your daughter!
NTA! I (38M) lost my mom to cancer when I was 20. My dad offered out to the family, at that time, if they wanted any jewelry, and kept a few specific pieces. Fast forward two years and I ask my dad for the last ring that he kept as an engagement ring for my now wife. My dad remarried around this time as well and step mom brought a long two brothers and two sisters. The youngest of which was 15F at the time. She was the one I bonded with the most and the first I was actually willing to call my sister. Even then, I would have been absolutely destroyed to have seen her or step-mom wearing any of my mom’s jewelry. Fortunately, they are saints and it’s never been an issue. Since then, I have two daughters, the only two grand daughters (7 grandsons though), and those last few pieces from my mom have come into possession for my daughters. You have every right to refuse the request. Also totally bizarre for her mom to ask you for them saying that she never had a mother figure to pass things down from? Like, lady, that’s you! You give her a piece of YOUR own jewelry. The audacity. I’m sorry that you had to experience that.
NTA: You dont need to do it. But you could go to thrift store and get some stuff and give her that. Dad wont remember what your mum had. Every one will think you did a good thing and your stuff is safe.
Nope, you’re not in the wrong here, but you need to get all your mother’s jewelry out of that house. Before his new wife takes even half of it and gives it to her kid.
NTA.
Entitled people don’t get to have what they want just because they believe they deserve it.
You are surrounded by your cowardly father and the entitled, you should protect your peace by not bothering to argue. They shouldn’t have even asked it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Don’t let their confident behaviour convince you that you are in the wrong, your instincts are correct and anyone rational would agree.
she “never had a mother figure who could pass anything down.”
I’m so confused by this statement. Is Kara that stupid that she forgot she’s her mother? What is this bullshit? Ask her if you will get a share of Emma’s inheritance when she dies. I bet I know what the answer will be to that. You’re 19. Look to move out. Put all your mothers jewellery in a bank lock box before they steal something. Just make sure nothing is missing.
NTA
That is your inheritance from your mother, it is not your fault that Kara down have anything to hand down to her daughter.
This is on Kara to choose a special piece to buy for her daughter. Your mother left those pieces to YOU. The fact that Kara and your dad think otherwise is ridiculous.
AI slop stupidity
NTA. Tell them to fuck off and buy their own jewellery for her to inherit.
NTA, what does she mean she doesn’t have a motherly figure. Isn’t she her mum? The audacity go get a job and buy your daughter some jewellery. how dare you try and claim something that belongs to your partners ex wife.
Tell your dad how dare he try and belittle what your mother has left for you. She is no longer here and this is what you have left from her it’s not just belongings it’s sentimental and he should know better than to be letting his new partner try and go against his ex wife’s dying wishes. About keep the peace tell your wife to keep the peace by not asking for things that don’t belong to her to try and give to her daughter 🙄
Nta she has a mother, it’s up to HER mother to gift her jewellery.
As soon as your dad brings it up again or anyone else end the visit/call, walk away/hang up.
Selfish and entitled is expecting someone to give items up from their dead mother
Tell Kara to buy jewellery for her daughter or get dad to buy jewellery for his wife to leave to her daughter. They are just being silly 😜 give them nothing and speak with 16yr old and explain these were your mothers and when her mother dies she will get jewellery from her mother, hopefully she is not as stupid as her mother
Why in the world would you give your mother’s jewelry to some girl you’re not related to? That’s just a really ridiculous thing for them to ask.
NTA that girl has zero ties to your mother so is entitled to JS. Kara can buy her own kid stuff instead of trying to guilt you in to giving up pieces of your mother’s memories.
Kara is literally the mother figure to her daughter. She should be collecting pieces with her daughter to create their own memories. The more I think about the inconsistencies the more I think this is AI.
Nta. Don’t give you’re mother jewellery. And now keep it hide from you’re dad also
No not AH but your dad is a huge one. That child was a stranger to your mother.
NTA
For you it has a sentimental value, for her it has not. Is she sharing anything that she got from her bio dad?
Keep it. Keep it safe.
NTA. Lock that jewelry up. Personally, I’d try and keep it somewhere else safe, if I could.
NTA tell Kara that she can start her own collection that will her daughter get once she’s dead -.-
She can gift her daughter herself something precious, she had zero relationships with your mum and zero entitlement to her belongings. Good luck
I am shocked she would ask. It isn’t her family so why would you even want it? No.
how tf does the mother say my daughter has had no mother figure? uh it’s her. supposed to be her right?
buy a lockbox immediately. they will next “borrow” some of the jewelry.
NTAH. they are so crazy.
What is wrong with people being so greedy that they will try to guilt someone to give their late mom’s jewelry to a girl who never met her late mom and has no personal connection to her? If dad wants the step daughter to feel welcomed, he should buy her a piece of jewlry as a keepsake and not expect his daughter to give up something of her late mom s
Ummm….. Isn’t Kara literally Emma’s actual mom, who could give her jewelry? Tell your dad he married a cheap ass mooch
I’d tell your father if he keeps insisting on this your relationship with HIM will be what suffers, and you will cut him off.
so Kara, mother to Emma, is worried that Emma doesn’t have a mother to pass things down?
NTA keep that jewelry locked away and hidden. That’s extremely disrespectful of them 🤮 they know you don’t hate them, it’s how they’re trying to manipulate you.
Maybe your dad could buy Emma some jewellery?
NTA. But, she has a mom??? Kara is right there?? What???? Look, okay. I can barely figure this woman’s mindset out, my only guess is that (1) she hasn’t been able to afford nice things so she wants someone else to supply them for her daughter and (2) thinks you have “so much” that you can “spare” some pieces. That is the nicest interpretation I can think of.
However, even in that case she is incorrect. First, these pieces are your inheritance and property from your late mother. It is up to you 100% on how to handle these items. If you wanted to do a Rose and throw them all into the ocean, (probably reconsider because that might kill some marine life) but that is your choice and right to make.
Additionally, Kara has a husband. A second adult making money in her life. If she wants jewelry for her daughter, Kara needs to talk to your dad so they can decide how to save the money to buy some for her. I guarantee that any jewelry her mom gives her will mean a lot more to her than your late mom’s jewelry.
Finally, if Kara or your dad keeping pushing, remind them that you would rather have an ALIVE MOM than her jewelry. And that Emma would probably also prefer her mother to be alive and around to do things like: see her graduate, go wedding shopping, hold Emma’s future children, etc. All possible life events that YOU will never get to have and will only have her jewelry as a pale reminder of the woman you knew and loved.
Ask her sure if you can give me some of your precious metals, we can trade? Im pretty sure she’ll say absolutely not. THEY ARE ONLY FOR MY DAUGHTER. Please go to an aunt/anyone you trust or buy a lockbox & hide it. She’ll “borrow” it & will not get it back
Fake, all the stuff in quotes is the usual ChatGPT post
Emma never had a mother who could pass anything down to…said Emma’s mum to her stepdaughter….
wtf is that logic?
NTA. Don’t let anybody pressure you into giving away your moms stuff. If Kara wants to give her daughter some meaningful jewelry she can go buy it herself. If you live with them go to your bank and open a safe deposit box. Keep all of your moms jewelry there until you move out. That way it won’t disappear and reappear later on your stepsister.
NTA. It’s YOUR late moms jewelry. Your stepsister has a living mom. She has plenty. You only have your moms jewelry to remember her by (except, you know photos and memories and things). If her daughter has no mother figure who could pass anything down it’s up to her to do so. She’s not only the mother figure, she’s the actual mother!!! Crazy audacity.
NTA and your father is a complete idiot.
If he wants her to have jewelry he can buy her some, not giving the one that has sentimental value.
To your dad, ” How dare you ask o give my mother’s jewellery to them. I cannot believe you even had the gall to ask – clearly you didn’t respect mum as I thought you did. “
NTA
You are fine! The vulture steps are a greedy problem and your dad is spineless and unwilling to stand up for you!
You don’t owe those 2 anything, and certainly not something you treasure given to your mom as a personal remembrance.
Continue to stand up for yourself! And maybe tell dad that you are totally disappointed in him for not protecting you and defending your right to gifts from your own mother.
You don’t owe them, and giving one thing will only lead to them thinking it’s ok to get more.
Good luck, and enjoy the closeness your mom wanted you to have with her even if she can’t be here in person.
That jewelry is a symbol to remind you every day how much she loved YOU.
Wow. Another karma farming post. WHO would’ve thought?
Brand new account with inconsistent points in the story. Obviously fake
What fricking parent tells a kid about shit like this before it happens? My gosh she sucks as a mother.
No. Don’t give your father’s wife’s kid a damn thing of your Mom’s. Not a single safety pin or random button!
This is incredibly insane! The kid has absolutely no connection to your Mom. Never met her. How stupid.
Break all contact with these AHs and make absolutely certain beyond any doubt that EVERYTHING of your Mom’s is safe. Not just the jewelry, but knickknacks, special kitchen tools or equipment (if any), blankets, clothing or whatever.
Honey you are NTA. This is your Mom’s legacy for you.
You can get beautiful “used” jewelry at a pawn shop. And give it new life. Step mom is just being greedy. Don’t share anything! NTA
Ur dad’s wife is 🥜! I had 2 read this twice cause ain’t SHE her mama???😂🤣😂 And further more, they didn’t even KNOW ur mom, so wtf is that even. That’s ur dad’s family. Y doesn’t he buy that lady some nice things so she can pass them down 2 her? Talking bout spare a necklace😒 He would’ve heard SO MANY cuss words!🤬 NTA
Kara can bugger right off. I’m sure your Mum wouldn’t want her jewellery going to anyone other than you either.
NTA.