I (25F) bought myself a used Toyota Corolla two years ago. It’s not fancy, but I worked two jobs through college to pay it off and keep it maintained. My younger sister (21F) recently totaled her car after drinking and driving. Thankfully no one was hurt, but insurance isn’t covering much because she was intoxicated.
Now she’s been demanding that I “loan” her my car indefinitely until she saves enough for another one. My parents are also pushing me, saying that since I work from home, I don’t “really need” a car every day, but she has to commute to school and work.
I said no, because 1) I don’t trust her not to wreck mine too, and 2) this car is literally the only big purchase I’ve ever made for myself. My mom accused me of being heartless and said I’m punishing my sister for a “mistake.”
I feel guilty, but I also feel like enabling her would be worse. So… AITAH?
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Original copy of post’s text by /u/Prior_Session5128:
I (25F) bought myself a used Toyota Corolla two years ago. It’s not fancy, but I worked two jobs through college to pay it off and keep it maintained. My younger sister (21F) recently totaled her car after drinking and driving. Thankfully no one was hurt, but insurance isn’t covering much because she was intoxicated.
Now she’s been demanding that I “loan” her my car indefinitely until she saves enough for another one. My parents are also pushing me, saying that since I work from home, I don’t “really need” a car every day, but she has to commute to school and work.
I said no, because 1) I don’t trust her not to wreck mine too, and 2) this car is literally the only big purchase I’ve ever made for myself. My mom accused me of being heartless and said I’m punishing my sister for a “mistake.”
I feel guilty, but I also feel like enabling her would be worse. So… AITAH?
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NTA. Your sister didn’t just make a “mistake,” she made a reckless decision that could have killed someone. Handing her the keys to your car would be rewarding dangerous behavior and risking your safety net. She’s an adult, she needs to face the real consequences of her actions.
NTA. She totaled her car drunk driving, you’re not wrong to protect the car you worked hard for.
NTA, if your mom feels that way then tell her she can loan her car to your sister. Your sister won’t respect or treat your car the way you do.
Your sister can take public transportation or Uber. Ignore your Mom – just change the topic or respond with absolute silence. If you give in and your car gets damaged or totaled, you can be sure that neither one of them will pay to remedy the situation.
NTA
I would call your insurance and ask them how much it would cost to put her on the insurance, with a DUI. It would probably be an incredible amount of money. This might be a way to wiggle you out of it. Tell them the insurance won’t cover her.
That way, your parents understand that you’re not willing to lose your car as well .
NTA, its your car, you can choose who you lend it too, they need to respect that. Also people who drink and drive are some of the lowest scum, every year thousands of people die because of drunk drivers, she didn’t just risk her own life, she risked the life of everyone else on the road, she fucked up massively and now she is paying the consequences for that, I wouldn’t feel bad for her because she did this to herself.
NTA
There are mistakes and there are……. MISTAKES. Your sister totaled her car because of a mistake in caps, so life is punishing her with no car. I don’t see where you are involved
I think mom has to show her good heart and loan her her car indefinitely
I hope you have security cameras in your garage
NTA.
You said no.
They can respect your no and choose to help your sister themselves or they can STFU.
Fake
NTA and tell your sister she’s lucky she’s not in jail.
Personally I think drink drivers should have their license revoked for life.
NTA. Tell them THEY need to get her a car then. Since she just needs one soooo bad. If I was you the only thing I’d offer to give her is a bicycle.
In this day and age there are other options besides driving drunk. Driving drunk is a shitty selfish decision. You aren’t the asshole here. If anything it’s your sister and a bit your mom. Stick to your guns.
NTA I wonder if she still has her license anyway. Let her walk and learn what FAFO means.
Yes you are punishing her for her mistakes and thank god because it seems like no one else wants to hold her accountable
NTA. She is a selfish person who decided to drive under the influence instead of calling for a ride from one of the multiple ride share companies or calling a friend to pick her up. Your insurance won’t cover her if she’s in any type of accident, and if they find out you loaned her your car, they’ll cancel your policy. Does she even have a valid license? Your parents can loan her their car if they want to ensure she never learns from her “mistake”.
NTA. Tell your mom that, with her record (especially a DUI), your insurance won’t cover her. Then make sure to get with your insurance agent and get a rider put in place!
NTA. A mistake? No, she made the choice to drink. She made the choice to drive after drinking. That’s not a mistake, that’s pure fucking g stupidly & she should feel very fortunate she only destroyed her car& didn’t take anyone/anything else out with her fucking stupid decisions.
Idk why she still has a license. She will be paying for that high ass SR22 or FR44 now& should be required to have a IID installed.
NTA Tell them it’s important that she learns a lesson so for her own good she NEEDS to be without a car for a while and you would be doing her a disservice if you didn’t help her with her atonement.
Be infuriating in your response that it’s a good thing she can’t have a car.
No problem figuring out how the sister became so selfish if this was the parents’reaction.
“No” is a complete sentence.
“No! If you want her to have a car so badly, loan her one of yours, but her irresponsible @$$ is, sure as hell, NOT driving mine!” is a more complete sentence.
NTA…if you don’t still live with your parents, make sure that they don’t have a spare key to your place and be prepared to go LC with your family for a while.
Her license wasn’t suspended? No matter. If you paid for that car on your own I wouldn’t lend it to anyone, DUI or not, because accidents happen all the time and you need your car. At 25, you’re an adult, “the cake is baked” which means you no longer have to answer to anyone but yourself. So if they want to call you “heartless” let them. You know that refusing to be guilted into doing something that doesn’t sit right with you doesn’t mean you’re heartless.
Tell your parents that they don’t get to argue with you about what belongs to you. If they want to enable your criminal sister, they can buy or loan her a car.
Your parents can buy her a junk car to drive
Ah…the frequent fake post.
Let me make up a totally bizarre story that would never happen.
Do better karma farmer.
NTA tell your parents why don’t they loan her their car if it is so easy to give up your stuff and independence
How does a DUI driver still have a licence and insurance?
Tell them all to piss off.
NTA. Random accident, sure, shit happens. But she was drunk driving. So she get to use public transit for a while and hopefully is required to have a breathalyzer to start her car once she finally gets a new one after her license is revoked for a couple years.
You’re 25 , who the hell cares what your parents think about what you do with your car , or your sister for that matter.
A simple “No” then move on.
Why do these have an objectivly outrageous premise, combined with a family that totally buys into it?
How can she legally drive after being an accident involving alcohol?
She can get a bicycle. I can’t believe they didn’t suspend her license.
NTA
Tell your mum, from this internet stranger who is her mum’s age (I’m a 61F btw) that she’s got her priorities mixed up. Her younger daughter did something Highly illegal, driving while intoxicated, and it’s a miracle no one was hurt, or killed! This younger daughter should use public transportation for a while, let her save as her older daughter did, and maybe younger daughter should also take Drivers Ed over again. She needs to learn her lesson, and codling her will make things worse.
I wish there were a way parents could put their kids into a program where they get to see the results of a traffic fatality in a DUI case…
I would find it unlikely she has driving privileges anyway. As well as having to carry special insurance if she got a dwi/dui. She has already proven to be irresponsible with her own car, why would you risk yours? Tell your parents to get her one.
Nta, your parents can loan your sister their cars, she is their daughter not yours and you are right to not trust your sister after she wrecked her car
NTA. Let mom give up her own car if she wants to. But you paid for that car. I wouldn’t lend it out after knowing that she wrecked hers.
ABSOLUTELY NOT. If your parents want to enable DUI #2, let them buy her a used car. This is what’s known as The Consequences Of Your Own Actions. It doesn’t matter if you work from home, or you work from Mars. It’s your car, not hers, and there is no reason for you to be without just because your sister is an irresponsible danger on the road.
She could have killed someone, including herself. Maybe remind your parents of that little nugget of truth, too.
Yesh. Sure
Id fire back at my parents.
“Ok, then give her one of your cars.
She’s not using mine..
The subject is closed. If you bring it up again , I’m going no contact. “
NTA, you’re just being smart.
NTAH. If mom is so concerned she can help enable her irresponsible daughter and let you be.
NTA. It’s called consequences.
Tell her to try asking the court to ignore the DUI
She lucky she walked away. Shes lucky she didnt hurt someone else. Shes lucky she has a family to come home to. Her luck ran out there. She needs to learn the hard way to no break laws and endanger others life’s with zero care. If a drunk driver smashed her car, she would be PISSED. Even though I was in a bummer to bummer with the other person 100% at fault, my insurance still jumped huge and my agent told me, for the next 3 years from that claim date, it will stay increased. I couldn’t imagine a DUI with totaling a car fees. Your sister needs to figure it out, without relying on others property or generosity. She burned that bridge driving drunk.
“I am punishing her for her mistake, she could’ve killed someone. She needs to learn a lesson”
NTA, she FAFO’d hard and is honestly lucky to be alive after totaling a car while drunk. If she were my sister I’d likely never let her use my car.
Buy yourself a room safe if you can and keep your keys and other important documents inside it so she cannot just take your keys.
NTA
Don’t even need to read the whole thing… it’s your car so you some can choose whether or not to give her your car on loan
Nobody else
NTA you saved for this and this is your treasure. Why should you take the risk.
Your sister made a mistake so don’t you make a bigger mistake by lending your car to her. Many people have car rental insurance for accidents on their policy. If she didn’t have that, that’s her problem. She’ll remember next time. Your parents are pressing you to do that because they don’t want to be bothered driving her around. That’s not your problem. If you could drive her once in a while fine but other than that, do not ever lend your car out. You would be so very sorry. NTA.
There is zero chance she would be getting my car. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you don’t need your car. Also if she thought she was okay to drive impaired once there’s nothing keeping her from doing that again. I would be happy to be considered heartless because I need my car
No is a FULL sentence! You need not explain yourself over and over.
Unless you’re willing to take the chance of your car being totaled and insurance rates through the roof, then I wouldn’t lend her my car.
As far as your parents, since they think it’s such a good idea to lend this half wit a car, let them lend her theirs!!
NTA!!!
Punishing a person for their mistake is fine. What’s the alternative, reward them? Trust is earned and maintained through ongoing assessment. Her behavior deserves the punishment of distrust. NTA.
If she got a DUI, she doesn’t have a license. No license, means if she is stopped for a traffic violation, your car will be impounded. If it is wrecked by her, your insurance won’t pay, because you let an unlicensed driver use your car.
Tell your mom that she can buy your car. That way sis will have a car and you can find another car.
#1, no. #2, No. #3, NO!!!! #4, if you lend her the car for regular use, you will have to add her to your insurance and you will have to disclose that she’s had a recent dui/accident and your coverage will skyrocket. If you let her drive your car on a regular basis and don’t tell your insurance, your insurance will deny any claim you try to make while she is driving your car. So if she drives your car into a house, you will be responsible for those damages and your insurance will not help you. #5, just say no.
NTA. Why do people assume that work from home means you don’t go to the store? Or the doctor’s, or NEED transportation for all the other reasons people have cars? Also, it is not your job to replace another adults car at your personal loss. Your mother needs to grow a set of ethics.
NTA I’d tell your mother your sister’s “mistake” is not your obligation to coddle. That if your mother wants to sweep drinking and driving under the rug and not act like a parent that’s on her but you won’t be the one to hand your sister a pair of car keys and send her on her merry way. No is your answer and do not ask you again.
So she can drink and drive in car? Nah ntah.
The nerve to ask, let alone demand, for your car is crazy given how she wrecked it. Why cant she put down what she has saved and finance the rest, either through a dealership or bank?
Make sure they know that you will report your car as stolen if they “borrow” it without your permission. Wasn’t her license suspended when she was charged with the DUI?
Great lesson , get pissed. Total a car , then put the guilts on your brother
Give the sister their car problem solved
Nta. Her problems are not yours to fix.
NTA and stick to your “no”. She’s not your responsibility and neither is her car…
It is not a “mistake” to drive drunk and write off a car; it is a stupid, thoughtless, dangerous thing to do. Keep your keys well away from her and ask your mom why she condones drunk driving.